What does non-binary/gender queer mean for you?

[AlexBailey]

What is your flavor of "non-binary"

"Non-binary" or "gender queer" is the first label I have found that fits who I am, yet it's amazingly broad. To me it can all be summed up as "queer" because by definition it simply means different. I was born male but have always felt there are many ways I do not live up to societies expectations of what a "male" is.

I have always loved being mistaken for female. The way good men are usually more polite or fawning is comforting. I love women's fashions, the way they flow and fit and are often more pretty than practical is wonderful. I love the sexual role of being done instead of doing. I love the feeling of stepping out and being someone's arm-candy.

I also like a lot that is typically male. I'm into outdoor activities and I am a contractor and I love my blue-collar work.

I'm nearly fifty and have always felt a bit out of place until I recently identified myself as non-binary/gender queer. I guess I now think of myself now as a t-gurl tomboy.


What's your version?

 

[2wayroad]

Deleted

 

[muycurioso]

What is your flavor of "non-binary"

"Non-binary" or "gender queer" is the first label I have found that fits who I am, yet it's amazingly broad. To me it can all be summed up as "queer" because by definition it simply means different. I was born male but have always felt there are many ways I do not live up to societies expectations of what a "male" is.

I have always loved being mistaken for female. The way good men are usually more polite or fawning is comforting. I love women's fashions, the way they flow and fit and are often more pretty than practical is wonderful. I love the sexual role of being done instead of doing. I love the feeling of stepping out and being someone's arm-candy.

I also like a lot that is typically male. I'm into outdoor activities and I am a contractor and I love my blue-collar work.

I'm nearly fifty and have always felt a bit out of place until I recently identified myself as non-binary/gender queer. I guess I now think of myself now as a t-gurl tomboy.


What's your version?

I think I'd be hetero flexible

 

[blade_rocknut]

I think I'd be hetero flexible

That describes your sexuality; Not your gender identity.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Non binary, gender fluid, and gender queer are all words which apply to my identity. I use GF the most, because how I feel about who I am has historically been a cyclical thing, not static.


I describe myself as being "on the spectrum" of transgender, though I do not intend to transition to a full time, fully female identity. I always wondered what it was like being female, and as a child; wished I were.

Like the OP, I enjoy myriad male typical activities, and my occupation falls squarely in a category which is rare at best for women. I don't want to give that up, and don't feel the area in which I live is progressive enough for my business to survive and flourish if I were to transition....and I deplore the notion of living somewhere large enough for that to work.

I'm 44, and have struck something of a balance in my life, wherein I don't have to entirely hide my feminine predispositions, nor abandon the life I've worked to build the last 30 years.

If I'd been born in 1990 or later, with the internet available in my youth, this would likely read much differently, as the introspective journey I made in my mid 30's would've happened before puberty. I'd likely be a woman right now, and taken an entirely different course regarding education and industry, in order to achieve happiness.

So, no... I'm not " Just a crossdresser " or a pervert, or whatever. More like a trans woman who doesn't think it's worth the trouble at this point to transition, so I enjoy what aspects I can of each gender.

 

[AlexBailey]

If I'd been born in 1990 or later, with the internet available in my youth, this would likely read much differently, as the introspective journey I made in my mid 30's would've happened before puberty. I'd likely be a woman right now, and taken an entirely different course regarding education and industry, in order to achieve happiness.

I can only wonder how different my life would have been with earlier access to the internet. I very well may have wanted to transition but having raised a beautiful family of sons who accept me as I am, I can't wish anything had been different.

My parents were good people in their own way but they let me know that it was wrong to be me, and at one point sought to take guardianship of my oldest son after my ex-wife outed me as a "crossdressing faggot". Having a label and a 'flag', even as broad as "non-binary" has helped to provide some normalcy and acceptance rather than just being a 'deviant', it wasn't long ago that the courts may have ruled that I was unfit to be a parent. My sons, almost all adults now, live in a culture where it is mostly okay to be themselves and do not judge people for their gender identity or sexuality any more than they would judge them for the color of their skin.

I like having a label I can identify with and knowing there are others out there who fall between some of the same lines I do, probably similar in the way people like to wear sports jerseys of their favorite teams and feel a kinship to others of with the same interests. My wife still worries for my safety at times, there have been a few bashings and hate crimes in recent years even in our small community in Northern California but there is no doubt that things have been quickly changing.