Sexless Marriages

[hedonisatlurist]

If all these guys are looking for a guy, fwb why is it so hard to a willing guy to hook up with

i think they may e looking for a female perhaps?

 

[ccs29745]

There's an old saying...

"What's the difference between your job and your wife?"

"After 5 years, your job still sucks."

Ha!!

In good and bad ways, lol

 

[Mtnmike]

There's an old saying...

"What's the difference between your job and your wife?"

"After 5 years, your job still sucks."

Ha!!

Ain't that the Truth

 

[Lost_Yonder]

There's an old saying...

"What's the difference between your job and your wife?"

"After 5 years, your job still sucks."

Ha!!

Fortunately, my job doesn't suck, but then neither does my wife! the few times she tried, she was a spitter and it was so disturbing it wasn't worth the effort trying to get her to do it again...

 

[ccs29745]

Fortunately, my job doesn't suck, but then neither does my wife! the few times she tried, she was a spitter and it was so disturbing it wasn't worth the effort trying to get her to do it again...

Job doesn't suck as much, wife don't suck, tired of government suckking my paycheck dry.lol

 

[AnnieLit]

If all these guys are looking for a guy, fwb why is it so hard to a willing guy to hook up with

Who said that any of them is actually looking? Being unhappy at home and looking somewhere else to fix that is not the same. Plus I don't remember any of them saying that they would prefer a guy.

 

[TTawhere]

Who said that any of them is actually looking? Being unhappy at home and looking somewhere else to fix that is not the same. Plus I don't remember any of them saying that they would prefer a guy.

Well, looking - just not for a guy.

There are some strange posts that drop in every now and again offering "services" that are definitely out of context with the postings above or the postings referenced.

 

[Polranny]

A hello from DD for us sexless (There's hope for us yet)

Please will you post a “hello” to them and tell them I think of them all and I’m doing wonderfully with Canada

 

[Elite_Goblin]

Please will you post a “hello” to them and tell them I think of them all and I’m doing wonderfully with Canada

Hey, great to hear from DD! Glad that everything is OK.

 

[philos]

This is going to sound really stupid and it probably is but...
sometimes I wish my wife was having an affair. That way I would know it’s me she’s rejecting. I’d be perfectly justified in feeling abandoned and discarded.

 

[AnnieLit]

This is going to sound really stupid and it probably is but...
sometimes I wish my wife was having an affair. That way I would know it’s me she’s rejecting. I’d be perfectly justified in feeling abandoned and discarded.

Or you would be perfectly justified in looking elsewhere...

 

[Lost_Yonder]

This is going to sound really stupid and it probably is but...
sometimes I wish my wife was having an affair. That way I would know it’s me she’s rejecting. I’d be perfectly justified in feeling abandoned and discarded.

Don't conflate the outcome of years of marriage, with its own dynamic of acceptance and rejection of one another, with your own sense of self-worth!

I went through a similar feeling after years of meanness, being told I was stupid and worthless and undesirable. When I started having affairs and some very meaningful relationships, I discovered that in fact other women found me quite attractive, intelligent, etc. It wasn't me, nor was it necessarily my wife (though she does have a bit of a mean streak in her) - it was our relationship. Things have changed, she has mellowed a bit, I feel comfortable and confident with who I am, have had a number of significant accomplishments, and our relationship has changed.

Unfortunately, there remains too much bad blood under the bridge, if you will, to feel intimate with her, but our day-to-day interactions are quite positive and supportive. Just don't want to have sex with her and that is something she doesn't seem to be interested in anyways.

The point is just because she is abandoning you, doesn't mean that you are worthless. It is just that your relationship has led to this kind of dynamic. Others will find you quite different than how your wife finds you...

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Or you would be perfectly justified in looking elsewhere...

Just because a guy hopes his wife has an affair doesn't necessarily mean it is an attempt to justify their own wandering or desire to wander. I don't want to have sex with my wife, as per my previous post, but I think she deserves to have sexual intimacy with someone. I wouldn't mind if she had an affair. And not because it would somehow justify the many affairs I had, but because I think she actually deserves it for herself, if she wants it. But I also don't think that sex should be exclusive to any particular relationship...

 

[asian2015]

This is going to sound really stupid and it probably is but...
sometimes I wish my wife was having an affair. That way I would know it’s me she’s rejecting. I’d be perfectly justified in feeling abandoned and discarded.

I think you will feel what you feel, it is definitely caused by whatever is going on in your marriage. You don't need anything else to justify what you feel.

 

[AnnieLit]

I think you will feel what you feel, it is definitely caused by whatever is going on in your marriage. You don't need anything else to justify what you feel.

I am not sure what you meant, but this reads as "Go ahead, feel as a worthless nothing that you are, you don't any justification for that." Which is about as far from being supportive, as one can get.

You don't know the guy, you don't know his wife, you know nothing about their relationship and this is how you choose to react to somebody openig up?

 

[ccs29745]

Please will you post a “hello” to them and tell them I think of them all and I’m doing wonderfully with Canada

Glad she has found some happiness. Tell her we all thinking of her

 

[xxkimberlyv]

Fortunately, my job doesn't suck, but then neither does my wife! the few times she tried, she was a spitter and it was so disturbing it wasn't worth the effort trying to get her to do it again...

Have you talked with her? I remember my first few times...I didnt like it either. Maybe suggest that she just let you cum in her mouth but then she lets it just run out as she is still sucking you. I do understand though...the way that she may react and spit could definitely be a big turn off

 

[Deeannamontana]

Rambled a bit - Sorry!

First time on this thread and amazed to see the number of women who are in sexless marriages!
I am, because my husband has medical issues that make it almost impossible for him to maintain an erection.
I never talk about this with people I know, of course, so I have been helped by reading through the comments.
The men who aren't getting sex because their wife is going through menopause - or has gone through menopause and just lost her desire for sex, is understandable. I don't think anyone wants to have sex with someone who isn't enjoying it with them.
My husband allowed (actually encouraged) me to have an affair for three years, but all the drama behind that got to be too much and we decided to just concentrate on our own intimacy, though sexless - in the traditional sense.
Lately we thought that maybe just getting active in our account here, and sharing some pics and getting some attention from men, but making it clear I don't want to meet; would be a sort of pacifier. (So to speak)
It has been a two-edged sword!
Some great responses and compliments and also some getting carried away with sharing what they want to do to me; and even inspired a couple of stories!
Also stirred up some unfulfilled desires and spawned some naughty dreams; and it has affected my daydreaming,now.
Started looking at bulges in men's jeans and wondering what it would be like with this one or that one.
I am going to keep reading, because I am curious how other women are actually dealing with it.
Realize that I may be putting too much emphasis on the sex, but having a very hot a virile lover for a few years kept me feeling young!
I don't think I want to do that again, though. It was very emotional for me - especially when he told me he was dating a woman and then ended up getting married and there was a HUGE loss I experienced that I hadn't expected. We couldn't remain friends, due to our love affair, and I ended up grieving like he died. it was very painful.
Sorry to ramble, I process externally, if you hadn't noticed!
Cheers!
DeeAnna

 

[asian2015]

I am not sure what you meant, but this reads as "Go ahead, feel as a worthless nothing that you are, you don't any justification for that." Which is about as far from being supportive, as one can get.

You don't know the guy, you don't know his wife, you know nothing about their relationship and this is how you choose to react to somebody openig up?

Totally not what I meant.

I think his wife is treating him badly, though we dont know anything about the circumstances of their marriage.
Based on that single fact though, I think he shouldnt feel that she has to do something else (like be in an affair) for him to feel justified about how he's being treated. Maybe I'm not wording this correctly.

 

[asian2015]

This is going to sound really stupid and it probably is but...
sometimes I wish my wife was having an affair. That way I would know it’s me she’s rejecting. I’d be perfectly justified in feeling abandoned and discarded.

My apologies if my earlier post went across wrong.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

First time on this thread and amazed to see the number of women who are in sexless marriages!
I am, because my husband has medical issues that make it almost impossible for him to maintain an erection.
I never talk about this with people I know, of course, so I have been helped by reading through the comments.
The men who aren't getting sex because their wife is going through menopause - or has gone through menopause and just lost her desire for sex, is understandable. I don't think anyone wants to have sex with someone who isn't enjoying it with them.
My husband allowed (actually encouraged) me to have an affair for three years, but all the drama behind that got to be too much and we decided to just concentrate on our own intimacy, though sexless - in the traditional sense.
Lately we thought that maybe just getting active in our account here, and sharing some pics and getting some attention from men, but making it clear I don't want to meet; would be a sort of pacifier. (So to speak)
It has been a two-edged sword!
Some great responses and compliments and also some getting carried away with sharing what they want to do to me; and even inspired a couple of stories!
Also stirred up some unfulfilled desires and spawned some naughty dreams; and it has affected my daydreaming,now.
Started looking at bulges in men's jeans and wondering what it would be like with this one or that one.
I am going to keep reading, because I am curious how other women are actually dealing with it.
Realize that I may be putting too much emphasis on the sex, but having a very hot a virile lover for a few years kept me feeling young!
I don't think I want to do that again, though. It was very emotional for me - especially when he told me he was dating a woman and then ended up getting married and there was a HUGE loss I experienced that I hadn't expected. We couldn't remain friends, due to our love affair, and I ended up grieving like he died. it was very painful.
Sorry to ramble, I process externally, if you hadn't noticed!
Cheers!
DeeAnna

Welcome to our little niche of the Lit world!

I can relate to your sense of loss after the end of your affair - for me, after two years from ending a very intense relationship I'm still grappling with my emotions. Completely different context though in regards to the nature of the affair, as mine was completely secret. But it takes its toll.

We are all sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying to keep our desires and sexual needs in check, but seeking out the fulfillment we find so lacking in our daily lives.

Just out of curiosity, have you and your husband tried writing your own stories together? It might be an intriguing journey of the imagination to share...


LY

 

[Deeannamontana]

Welcome to our little niche of the Lit world!

I can relate to your sense of loss after the end of your affair - for me, after two years from ending a very intense relationship I'm still grappling with my emotions. Completely different context though in regards to the nature of the affair, as mine was completely secret. But it takes its toll.

We are all sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying to keep our desires and sexual needs in check, but seeking out the fulfillment we find so lacking in our daily lives.

Just out of curiosity, have you and your husband tried writing your own stories together? It might be an intriguing journey of the imagination to share...


LY

Appreciate the lovely greeting and being welcomed!
I think the sense of loss is the thing that is sort of swept under the rug, when an affair is over. Sex is rooted in intimacy, and I never had sex with anyone without getting to know them, first. Most times, sex wasn't the first thing that motivated me to get to know them, but just "happened" after a period of time, when the mood and feelings were right.
So there is more to it than just getting over not having great sex, anymore.

No, we haven't tried writing our stories together. We have both written about the affair and about our experiments with different aspects of the sharing lifestyle. But those were just what we experienced and the good things we wanted to remember about the couplings with others (Mostly Mine). It's what my stories that I posted on Lit. are about. They are true accounts of what actually happened, with a lot of feelings shared, as well. I first wrote them in my diary, for memories sake, but was encouraged to share. There are more, but no time to rewrite them for publishing right now.
Got a little wordy there, but nice thought.

Thank you for your response and sharing!
DeeAnna

 

[ccs29745]

Welcome to our little niche of the Lit world!

I can relate to your sense of loss after the end of your affair - for me, after two years from ending a very intense relationship I'm still grappling with my emotions. Completely different context though in regards to the nature of the affair, as mine was completely secret. But it takes its toll.

We are all sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying to keep our desires and sexual needs in check, but seeking out the fulfillment we find so lacking in our daily lives.

Just out of curiosity, have you and your husband tried writing your own stories together? It might be an intriguing journey of the imagination to share...


LY

Hate how an affair makes one hurt when ending it. I want married at the time, but hated ending it. Found out she had no intention of doing what we talked about when she left her hubby and I ended the relationship.
Hated myself for weeks, but got over it, but damn it did hurt.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Hate how an affair makes one hurt when ending it. I want married at the time, but hated ending it. Found out she had no intention of doing what we talked about when she left her hubby and I ended the relationship.
Hated myself for weeks, but got over it, but damn it did hurt.

Affairs are not in the same category as throuple fun or polyamory.

One is hidden while the other are generally not.

 

[ccs29745]

Affairs are not in the same category as throuple fun or polyamory.

One is hidden while the other are generally not.

Very true. I just wish I learn how to type right. Lol