Feedback for most stories

[4060couple]

Hello everyone.

I am a new member, but I have been reading your stories for around 3 or 4 years. I like your work, I enjoy it a lot. Thank you.

My feedback comes from heart as a reader, not a writer. Many times I left the story half and moved on to another story for what I call a "cock block read"

These are the stories that grab my attention, then slowly building up the excitement and at a totally wrong moment start describing something that has nothing to do with whats happening at that exact moment. Like happy advertisements interrupting a horror movie.

For example: She walks towards him, slowly takes her red skirt with her G-string and throws them on the floor which is a mahagony wood floors, bought from such and such retailer during black friday sale....." fuuuckkk, i don't care about those floors... tell me what the fuck she's doing after taking her clothes off.

Did you get my point? We the readers do not care what color the walls are if she is already fucking him.... So, please, either set the mood before bringing your characters, or don't even bother telling us about the surroundings if you started getting your readers excited.

That's 1.

The 2nd is: Please, make me feel that I am living inside your story and understand if parts of your story get boring, while the whole story is exciting. What I mean is: don't stretch it if you don't have to.

Example: they jumped on a horse and tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin .. off they went..." - Don't stretch it.

P.S. TGDIN - thats the sound that my horse makes galloping away

Love reading. Keep writing. Thanks

 

[AlinaX]

I know exactly what you mean! Like this morning, I decided to wake my boyfriend with a blowjob? I'd like to say I was doing it for him, but to be honest I just love having him in my mouth. He's blessed with a gorgeous cock (I've often joked he should be making porn), and anyone who knows me can tell what an absolute cumslut I am (he's often joked that I should be making porn). Anyway, I slowly pulled the sheets away to reveal his cock, a true morning glory jutting out from his boxer shorts. I bought them for him this summer from a novelty shop in Camden Town, and they bear the legend in classic London style, "Keep Calm and Eat Cock" - sadly they didn't have a matching "Keep Calm and Eat Pussy" (or, better, a "Keep Calm and Eat Cum" because I totally would have worn those - lol) - and he often sleeps in them. The only problem I have with them is the red of the letters is fading with every wash.

 

[Jada59]

I agree with you. Too many damned details in some stories. One person mentioned yoga pants so often, I thought the story was about yoga pants!

 

[Heartsongs]

Really liked it. Keep writing.

I know exactly what you mean! Like this morning, I decided to wake my boyfriend with a blowjob? I'd like to say I was doing it for him, but to be honest I just love having him in my mouth. He's blessed with a gorgeous cock (I've often joked he should be making porn), and anyone who knows me can tell what an absolute cumslut I am (he's often joked that I should be making porn). Anyway, I slowly pulled the sheets away to reveal his cock, a true morning glory jutting out from his boxer shorts. I bought them for him this summer from a novelty shop in Camden Town, and they bear the legend in classic London style, "Keep Calm and Eat Cock" - sadly they didn't have a matching "Keep Calm and Eat Pussy" (or, better, a "Keep Calm and Eat Cum" because I totally would have worn those - lol) - and he often sleeps in them. The only problem I have with them is the red of the letters is fading with every wash.

Five stars!

 

[LesDesirable]

I know exactly what you mean! Like this morning, I decided to wake my boyfriend with a blowjob? I'd like to say I was doing it for him, but to be honest I just love having him in my mouth. He's blessed with a gorgeous cock (I've often joked he should be making porn), and anyone who knows me can tell what an absolute cumslut I am (he's often joked that I should be making porn). Anyway, I slowly pulled the sheets away to reveal his cock, a true morning glory jutting out from his boxer shorts. I bought them for him this summer from a novelty shop in Camden Town, and they bear the legend in classic London style, "Keep Calm and Eat Cock" - sadly they didn't have a matching "Keep Calm and Eat Pussy" (or, better, a "Keep Calm and Eat Cum" because I totally would have worn those - lol) - and he often sleeps in them. The only problem I have with them is the red of the letters is fading with every wash.

The only problem with this paragraph is that you should not have separated the description of the shorts from the previous sentence but rather written it following a comma, then continued describing his appendage (or the sheets you pulled aside), both of which were subjects in the previous sentence.

This would be an excellent passage if you continued to describe the sheets, the shorts, perhaps the narrator's shorts, and some other inconsequential items prior to getting down to your narrator forgetting to complete the action and move on with breakfast (eggs, toast, butter, fruit slices, and coffee (arabica with a hint of smokey flavour probably from the wood barrel filtration process used . . .)

 

[AlinaX]

Oh, god, yes. Forget the cum. I'm a coffeeslut...

 

[EricasDreams]

Hello everyone.

I am a new member, but I have been reading your stories for around 3 or 4 years. I like your work, I enjoy it a lot. Thank you.

My feedback comes from heart as a reader, not a writer. Many times I left the story half and moved on to another story for what I call a "cock block read"

These are the stories that grab my attention, then slowly building up the excitement and at a totally wrong moment start describing something that has nothing to do with whats happening at that exact moment. Like happy advertisements interrupting a horror movie.

For example: She walks towards him, slowly takes her red skirt with her G-string and throws them on the floor which is a mahagony wood floors, bought from such and such retailer during black friday sale....." fuuuckkk, i don't care about those floors... tell me what the fuck she's doing after taking her clothes off.

Did you get my point? We the readers do not care what color the walls are if she is already fucking him.... So, please, either set the mood before bringing your characters, or don't even bother telling us about the surroundings if you started getting your readers excited.

That's 1.

The 2nd is: Please, make me feel that I am living inside your story and understand if parts of your story get boring, while the whole story is exciting. What I mean is: don't stretch it if you don't have to.

Example: they jumped on a horse and tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin .. off they went..." - Don't stretch it.

P.S. TGDIN - thats the sound that my horse makes galloping away

Love reading. Keep writing. Thanks

I completely agree, though in fact I don’t like superfluous details anywhere in a story. Some authors describe things like surroundings, decor, clothes, in minute detail, which can be tiresome. In my opinion it is better to describe an overall impression and let the reader fill in the blanks with their imagination. Or not fill it in if they prefer! There are exceptions , of course. When a woman is taking it roughly from behind, you want to know what she feels. So a description of the sheets in her clenched hands would be appropriate.

The same with descriptions of characters. Leave some room for the reader to fill in the blanks with his or her likes.

-EvH

 

[Kay_Evans100]

Hello everyone.

I am a new member, but I have been reading your stories for around 3 or 4 years. I like your work, I enjoy it a lot. Thank you.

My feedback comes from heart as a reader, not a writer. Many times I left the story half and moved on to another story for what I call a "cock block read"

These are the stories that grab my attention, then slowly building up the excitement and at a totally wrong moment start describing something that has nothing to do with whats happening at that exact moment. Like happy advertisements interrupting a horror movie.

For example: She walks towards him, slowly takes her red skirt with her G-string and throws them on the floor which is a mahagony wood floors, bought from such and such retailer during black friday sale....." fuuuckkk, i don't care about those floors... tell me what the fuck she's doing after taking her clothes off.

Did you get my point? We the readers do not care what color the walls are if she is already fucking him.... So, please, either set the mood before bringing your characters, or don't even bother telling us about the surroundings if you started getting your readers excited.

That's 1.

The 2nd is: Please, make me feel that I am living inside your story and understand if parts of your story get boring, while the whole story is exciting. What I mean is: don't stretch it if you don't have to.

Example: they jumped on a horse and tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin tgdin .. off they went..." - Don't stretch it.

P.S. TGDIN - thats the sound that my horse makes galloping away

Love reading. Keep writing. Thanks

well I guess it is all about a careful balance of content V detail to colour in the picture for the reader, not just - wham, bam, thank you ma'am sex.

LOL you can tell me if I get that right or not in my case

 

[yukonnights]

Sorry, but the Op's opinion is just that — one person's preference. While one person prefers nothing but the sex scene details, the next person would read a few paragraphs and go looking for a different story. There is no "reader" here — there are thousands every day. This delusion that all stories need to be crafted in a certain way is equivalent to going to a bookstore expecting nothing but comic books to be on the shelves

To be a happy reader, find the authors who write what you like and favorite them. I can assure you that most authors here write for their own pleasure and not to please a reader who paid $0.00 for the effort.

 

[Heartsongs]

Sorry, but the Op's opinion is just that — one person's preference. While one person prefers nothing but the sex scene details, the next person would read a few paragraphs and go looking for a different story. There is no "reader" here — there are thousands every day. This delusion that all stories need to be crafted in a certain way is equivalent to going to a bookstore expecting nothing but comic books to be on the shelves

To be a happy reader, find the authors who write what you like and favorite them. I can assure you that most authors here write for their own pleasure and not to please a reader who paid $0.00 for the effort.

Nice perspective and analogy. I agree.

 

[ElectricBlue]

To be a happy reader, find the authors who write what you like and favorite them. I can assure you that most authors here write for their own pleasure and not to please a reader who paid $0.00 for the effort.

I was going to comment along the lines of "If you don't like what I write, go write your own," but then I saw it was an older thread so didn't bother.

But I agree, this notion that writers "must cater for my reading requirements," is, of course, rubbish.

And where the fuck would I be if my characters didn't take ages taking off their clothes?

Some readers clearly don't understand that foreplay isn't just counting to four and jumping on .

 

[storyfella]

Sorry, but the Op's opinion is just that — one person's preference. While one person prefers nothing but the sex scene details, the next person would read a few paragraphs and go looking for a different story. There is no "reader" here — there are thousands every day. This delusion that all stories need to be crafted in a certain way is equivalent to going to a bookstore expecting nothing but comic books to be on the shelves

To be a happy reader, find the authors who write what you like and favorite them. I can assure you that most authors here write for their own pleasure and not to please a reader who paid $0.00 for the effort.

Very well said, I agree with every word.

 

[LWulf]

I completely object to the OP's post!!!

A horse sound is more Ta-duh-ump Ta-duh-ump Ta-duh-ump Ta-duh-ump

 

[Galatae]

Electricblue, I wrote this just for you <3 I don't know your orientation so I left the second character as open for interpretation.

"I want you to close your eyes and start counting" his lover's voice was soft like velvet.
Unsure of why this was relevant, he did as instructed, curious what was next to follow.
"One... Two... Three... Four"
"Four-PLAY time is over!" his lover interjected and quickly straddled him.


This is the kind of dumb humour I use in my unpublished works (unpublished for obvious reasons.)

 

[ElectricBlue]

Electricblue, I wrote this just for you <3 I don't know your orientation so I left the second character as open for interpretation.

"I want you to close your eyes and start counting" his lover's voice was soft like velvet.
Unsure of why this was relevant, he did as instructed, curious what was next to follow.
"One... Two... Three... Four"
"Four-PLAY time is over!" his lover interjected and quickly straddled him.

First Simon writes Suzie being a bad girl for me, and now someone shows me how to count. I am truly honoured.

My orientation? Currently facing east, but I'm not sure how that's relevant .

 

[Galatae]

My orientation? Currently facing east, but I'm not sure how that's relevant .

I mean, East is where the sun rises, and in Australia we have the saying:
"You're hot like a sunrise"

It's off a stupid car insurance ad, but we all find it funny because it was said as a sincere compliment (but sunrises aren't hot?)


Edit: Now I want to write tongue-in-cheek smut about Ketut and Rhonda just to see what the world thinks of that weirdness.

 

[MohanSingh]

Just watch porn.

 

[NotWise]

For example: She walks towards him, slowly takes her red skirt with her G-string and throws them on the floor which is a mahagony wood floors, bought from such and such retailer during black friday sale....." fuuuckkk, i don't care about those floors... tell me what the fuck she's doing after taking her clothes off.

The untapped commercial possibilities in this example are staggering.

"Karl pounded Jill down into the sheets with one relentless thrust after another, deeper with each repeated thrust. She lifted her knees to his sides and bucked and twisted under him as the tension built in her body until she knotted her fingers in his sheets and dragged them to her face.

Jill took one deep breath and her eyes flew open. "Do you use Tide?" she asked "You do!" and the most intense orgasm she'd ever felt swept up her spine. The room went dark for Jill, and there was just the powerfully arousing scent of Karl's Tide."

Proctor and Gamble can reach me by PM. I'm waiting.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

The untapped commercial possibilities in this example are staggering.

"Karl pounded Jill down into the sheets with one relentless thrust after another, deeper with each repeated thrust. She lifted her knees to his sides and bucked and twisted under him as the tension built in her body until she knotted her fingers in his sheets and dragged them to her face.

Jill took one deep breath and her eyes flew open. "Do you use Tide?" she asked "You do!" and the most intense orgasm she'd ever felt swept up her spine. The room went dark for Jill, and there was just the powerfully arousing scent of Karl's Tide."

Proctor and Gamble can reach me by PM. I'm waiting.

Good looking out; we could do with a bit of commercialization

This reminds me of Anne of the Island by LM Montgomery: the chapter where Anne’s BFF, Diana Barry, submits a short romance that Anne can’t get published to a baking goods company, and the story becomes their new advertisement.

In the entire series, I believe it was the only thing Anne everwrote that she was paid for, or that was published....

 

[GroverLang]

Hello everyone.

I am a new member, but I have been reading your stories for around 3 or 4 years. I like your work, I enjoy it a lot. Thank you.


Love reading. Keep writing. Thanks

This is the only part of the OP’s comment that’s important. As an author you should write a story you enjoy and you will always find there are readers who will enjoy it.

Even if the story is full of technical errors some readers will enjoy it. There are plenty of stories that look as if a child has written them but they get high ratings because they please the masturbators of both sexes.

You can please some of the people all the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.

One reader might give you a five and another a one for the same story. Forget the one and concentrate on the five because they’re the reader who matters.

Always remember, when it comes down to it, you are the most important person, not the reader, because you are putting the effort, time and imagination into the story. If the reader likes it that’s great but if they don’t, that’s life.

 

[NotWise]

Good looking out; we could do with a bit of commercialization

Unfortunately, P&G hasn't gotten back to me on that. They're missing a great opportunity.

 

[Touch_type]

Competition organiser needed

Unfortunately, P&G hasn't gotten back to me on that. They're missing a great opportunity.

This brainwave is great. Wouldn’t it be good if someone with better administrative abilities than I’ll ever have would organise a product-placement competition for the Humour and Satire section?

There are whole sub-genres of spy and detective literature based around product placement. We could have a field day.

‘Guys with dicks as big as mine never drink Coke,’ he spat
‘I always suck the cock of a guy who buys me a measure of Two Virgins gin. It complements the taste of spunk perfectly.’
‘The Memory Foam pillow he always pulled out when she visited mounded her butt perfectly raising her to the perfect position.’

We could have special mentions for highest number, most/least obvious, silliest, perhaps even the most obscure.

‘Scream as much as you like,’ he laughed, ‘When I remodelled the apartment I used XYZ plaster board. Their exclusive honeycomb sound insulation layer makes them the market leader for owners of dungeons or who have a particularly energetic bedroom regimen. The neighbours will never hear you.’

‘I know,’ she murmured, ‘And to think, I only came to borrow a cup of sugar. This XYZ insulation means my husband will suspect nothing.’

Of course, if all you’re interested in is making a few bucks, why not start a Michael Bloomberg competition? I understand he’s paying internet meme and opinion makers hard cash for positive mentions.

‘Manhattan hookers choose Bloomberg over Trump every time. Size really does matter.’

Kerrching!

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

This brainwave is great. Wouldn’t it be good if someone with better administrative abilities than I’ll ever have would organise a product-placement competition for the Humour and Satire section?

There are whole sub-genres of spy and detective literature based around product placement. We could have a field day.

‘Guys with dicks as big as mine never drink Coke,’ he spat
‘I always suck the cock of a guy who buys me a measure of Two Virgins gin. It complements the taste of spunk perfectly.’
‘The Memory Foam pillow he always pulled out when she visited mounded her butt perfectly raising her to the perfect position.’

We could have special mentions for highest number, most/least obvious, silliest, perhaps even the most obscure.

‘Scream as much as you like,’ he laughed, ‘When I remodelled the apartment I used XYZ plaster board. Their exclusive honeycomb sound insulation layer makes them the market leader for owners of dungeons or who have a particularly energetic bedroom regimen. The neighbours will never hear you.’

‘I know,’ she murmured, ‘And to think, I only came to borrow a cup of sugar. This XYZ insulation means my husband will suspect nothing.’

Of course, if all you’re interested in is making a few bucks, why not start a Michael Bloomberg competition? I understand he’s paying internet meme and opinion makers hard cash for positive mentions.

‘Manhattan hookers choose Bloomberg over Trump every time. Size really does matter.’

Kerrching!

In all fairness, I doubt there’d be high reader interest in lewd product placement so the reads and votes might be low. But that being said, I think you’ve done all the heavy lifting right here and it’s a fun clever idea If you’re interested in giving it a go, I’d be glad to help get this organized as an author event.

 

[Touch_type]

Never mind the quality, feel the width

In all fairness, I doubt there’d be high reader interest in lewd product placement so the reads and votes might be low. But that being said, I think you’ve done all the heavy lifting right here and it’s a fun clever idea If you’re interested in giving it a go, I’d be glad to help get this organized as an author event.

So what does everybody else think? I take the point about reader interest, but Humour and Satire has always been a bit of a backwater and I for one would like to see it promoted and, perhaps, standards raised a little.

I've already got a couple of ideas kicking around about an austerity-riddled MI6 downsizing 007 and his gadgets. And as for Bloomberg... If the Washington Post is anything to go by he's already working on his own entries.

 

[ElectricBlue]

So what does everybody else think? I take the point about reader interest, but Humour and Satire has always been a bit of a backwater and I for one would like to see it promoted and, perhaps, standards raised a little.

Oy, you. The standards are perfectly adequate, thangyouverymuch .

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/in-search-of-a-story

Seriously, you can't beat Samuel Taylor Coleridge as the inspiration for a sex scene (even if every bugger missed it). Philistines.