Sexless Marriages

[MaBelle3120]

Man, she is a tough cookie. I bet our wives went to the same school!

Funny, (or not funny) as my wife was getting ready for bed, she notices me checking out her bare boobs. She says, "excuse me!", and quickly turns around to get her shirt on. What gives? I am her husband. Guess she wants me to check out other woman's boobs instead.

Oh sheesh... It was like a compliment from you, You're showing that they're nice to look at. Thats sad (but yeah, kind of funny maybe)

 

[KPaulNeilson]

For me it's not anger either.
She just doesn't understand and is not interested.

 

[Elite_Goblin]

Oh sheesh... It was like a compliment from you, You're showing that they're nice to look at. Thats sad (but yeah, kind of funny maybe)

I know. She honestly has a great body. I have told her plenty enough and she just doesnt get it.

Last night she said I was weird, cuz I like her breasts so much. I researched today and about 82% of men love them too. (A fair amount of women too)

If opportunity presents itself, I will be letting her know about my research. I‘ll be prepared to sleep elsewhere too. Dont care.

 

[Vitriolhack]

What do you mean?

You seem frustrated. Just asking if you are ok, that’s all.

 

[Hockeydude1985]

You seem frustrated. Just asking if you are ok, that’s all.

Yeah, I'm good. As good as can be I guess. It's a mind fuck is all it is. She still gives me a hug, kiss on the cheek, and tells me she loves me before we leave for work. She says she means the "I love you" as a friend and that she does it because she knows I will get upset if she doesn't.......

 

[ccs29745]

Man, she is a tough cookie. I bet our wives went to the same school!

Funny, (or not funny) as my wife was getting ready for bed, she notices me checking out her bare boobs. She says, "excuse me!", and quickly turns around to get her shirt on. What gives? I am her husband. Guess she wants me to check out other woman's boobs instead.

Fixed Italian chicken with smashed potatoes and green beans. Sat and watched her read a book while she ate. Conversation was short answers.

Wife will covet up too sometimes when she sees me staring at her body. Can't help it I tell her, I think she looks hot and she thinks I'm a pervert. Can't win for losing sometimes

 

[ccs29745]

Yeah, I'm good. As good as can be I guess. It's a mind fuck is all it is. She still gives me a hug, kiss on the cheek, and tells me she loves me before we leave for work. She says she means the "I love you" as a friend and that she does it because she knows I will get upset if she doesn't.......

Tell my wife I love her and she says ok. Few seconds later she says love you too.

 

[KPaulNeilson]

Birthday.
Wife decided to join me in the bath because I "like it" when she does.
Sat down, legs entwined, and played on her phone. Got out a few minutes later because the water was cooling down.

Sigh. She tries, I'll give her credit for that.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Birthday.
Wife decided to join me in the bath because I "like it" when she does.
Sat down, legs entwined, and played on her phone. Got out a few minutes later because the water was cooling down.

Sigh. She tries, I'll give her credit for that.

As you describe it, it doesn’t sound like she is trying very hard.

 

[KPaulNeilson]

As you describe it, it doesn’t sound like she is trying very hard.

She's not into sex. She's doing it for me and I appreciate her trying. I recognize that she's trying to meet halfway. A lot of it is just me. I'm not exactly attractive so... (I'm just stating facts. I'm actually in a good mood. No worries. )

She's fantastic in every other aspect of our relationship, just not sex. Even as frustrated I get, I would never trade her for anything. It's just that, sometimes​, I'm VERY aware of what I've given up, even if I'd do it again.

 

[GeekyhubbyUK]

I have been away from the forum for awhile and it has surprised me how many of these sort of threads there are for sexless/low sex marriages.

We have sex.....occasionally to rare, it's something that has slowly been increasing over about 6/7 years, slow enough to notice it but impossible to stop as those bursts of sex make you think it's all about to change.

Around July of this month I ended up being in a bad enough place along with someone else who was having a rough time, we found a friendly ear with one another as we had known each other for years, the friendly ears turned to friendly hugs, to friendly kisses, then you can guess the rest.

It shook me up how quickly it happened, we both feel pretty bad about it. Over the last couple of months I have gotten my shit together not only mentally but physically too.

My wife is now on medication (something she abores) and joining me in my/our health drive and we are seeing a difference. Will she get the spark back for sex? I don't know but I know she lives in hope as much as I do.

 

[TTawhere]

I have been away from the forum for awhile and it has surprised me how many of these sort of threads there are for sexless/low sex marriages.

We have sex.....occasionally to rare, it's something that has slowly been increasing over about 6/7 years, slow enough to notice it but impossible to stop as those bursts of sex make you think it's all about to change.

Around July of this month I ended up being in a bad enough place along with someone else who was having a rough time, we found a friendly ear with one another as we had known each other for years, the friendly ears turned to friendly hugs, to friendly kisses, then you can guess the rest.

It shook me up how quickly it happened, we both feel pretty bad about it. Over the last couple of months I have gotten my shit together not only mentally but physically too.

My wife is now on medication (something she abores) and joining me in my/our health drive and we are seeing a difference. Will she get the spark back for sex? I don't know but I know she lives in hope as much as I do.

I think that as we all age and our bodies changes - both men and women - there are changes in the level of desire as some don't see their partners in the same light that they did when they got married.

Some couples go through life seeing and feeling the same about their partners, but weight gain, medical problems, and other things can be a turn off for either partner.

Figuring out how to overcome those is key in keeping up a healthy relationship. For some, it is as simple as keeping physically fit and keeping the weight off. For others, there may not be such a solution. Some grow closer emotionally, and some more distant.

Keeping up a relationship requires some effort from both parties. It just does.

 

[TantricMagic]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Yep, I'm in my mid 50's and my partner and I have not had sex in almost 6 years. She just has no interest, and although I am sure she would oblige if pushed, I have no wish for sex to be a chore for her, as I want her to want me as much as I want her. Have no wish for her to just go through the motions for my sake.

I think you will find many people in this boat, have chatted with ladies whose husbands have no interest, sometimes due to work pressures, sometimes medical factors, and sometimes their libido's just seem to go AWOL!

 

[Elite_Goblin]

I think that as we all age and our bodies changes - both men and women - there are changes in the level of desire as some don't see their partners in the same light that they did when they got married.

Some couples go through life seeing and feeling the same about their partners, but weight gain, medical problems, and other things can be a turn off for either partner.

Figuring out how to overcome those is key in keeping up a healthy relationship. For some, it is as simple as keeping physically fit and keeping the weight off. For others, there may not be such a solution. Some grow closer emotionally, and some more distant.

Keeping up a relationship requires some effort from both parties. It just does.

Communication is the key, but both parties must openly talk.
My wife and I have not changed much physically in 20 years. (about the same weight, same fitness level...) However, her libido has dropped and we need to have 'talks' on an annual basis.
There is also some give and take by both parties. Not always easy.

..but know that many others are going through the same thing as you or worse!

 

[AnnieLit]

Communication is the key, but both parties must openly talk[...] her libido has dropped and we need to have 'talks' on an annual basis. There is also some give and take by both parties. Not always easy.

And what exactly is her "give" after such a talk? Sex every Sunday morning, whether she wants ir or not? She can't just magically increase her libido by will power, it's impossible. So either she is increasing it by medication (but then there would be no need in any more talks), or you are getting wifery duties unstead of sex.

 

[TTawhere]

And what exactly is her "give" after such a talk? Sex every Sunday morning, whether she wants ir or not? She can't just magically increase her libido by will power, it's impossible. So either she is increasing it by medication (but then there would be no need in any more talks), or you are getting wifery duties unstead of sex.

That.

 

[ccs29745]

Keeping up a relationship requires some effort from both parties. It just does.

That's a very important line. I unfortunately shut down when wife and I have arguments cause of how I lash out and hurt her with what I say. Communication had to be a two way street

 

[Elite_Goblin]

That's a very important line. I unfortunately shut down when wife and I have arguments cause of how I lash out and hurt her with what I say. Communication had to be a two way street

Yea, definitely take a breather. Take things slow. Unfortunately we cannot 'unsay' that which was said. ...and let me tell you, women will remember stuff like that till the day they die, but forget in 5 days that they promised you a BJ for your birthday. hehe

I handed a very brief note to the wife just last night. Was prepared to sleep in the extra room. I really don't care about that part at all. It was enough to get us talking some more. We didn't solve anything, but putting things out is the first step(s). We had coffee together this morning at a cafe, and even bought wine for tonight. I hope the wine loosens us both up, to talk more. Not worried about whether there is sex or not. At least not tonight.

 

[ccs29745]

Yea, definitely take a breather. Take things slow. Unfortunately we cannot 'unsay' that which was said. ...and let me tell you, women will remember stuff like that till the day they die, but forget in 5 days that they promised you a BJ for your birthday. hehe

I handed a very brief note to the wife just last night. Was prepared to sleep in the extra room. I really don't care about that part at all. It was enough to get us talking some more. We didn't solve anything, but putting things out is the first step(s). We had coffee together this morning at a cafe, and even bought wine for tonight. I hope the wine loosens us both up, to talk more. Not worried about whether there is sex or not. At least not tonight.

Maybe a note could help break the ice. I've got a 40 year old bottle of southern comfort if that helps instead of wine. Lol

 

[Elite_Goblin]

That whiskey wont work.

Just send it to me.

 

[guns444]

My birthday came and gone yesterday with no sex, or even an offer. Kind of sad

 

[ccs29745]

That whiskey wont work.

Just send it to me.

Want the 42 year old bottle of vodka. Only had one cup out of it.

 

[Elite_Goblin]

Want the 42 year old bottle of vodka. Only had one cup out of it.

Naw. Postage to Germany would be very high. Alcohol is cheaper here than in the USA anyway.

 

[ccs29745]

Damn emotions

Wife asked for a little massage cause of sore muscle in back. I managed for few minutes and started to move around more. She says no, she had a headache. Dang it

 

[Mtnmike]

Wife asked for a little massage cause of sore muscle in back. I managed for few minutes and started to move around more. She says no, she had a headache. Dang it

Sorry for the teasing, been there done that
It's been years since I've been allowed to see her naked or touch her unless she needed this. About 3 years ago I finally give up even trying, when she asked I refused. Told her if I'm not allowed any other time, she can deal with it herself.