Funny moments in writing

[CeasarBoobage]

Care to share what you’ve accidentally typed? Or had your phone auto-correct words that you had no intention of writing?

Way more times than I’d care to admit, I’ve f-ed up a word that could totally ruin a scene in a story. Some of those missed the editing passes, and made it into the published story. Eek!

Come on folks, share your fails.

Of course, I’ll go first.

In one a few years back, the scene was a couple getting it on, and I wrote something like “his sigh turned into a man”, but I meant ‘a moan’, obviously. WTF. Mood killer!

Just now, I’m maybe halfway through another draft that I hope I can finish, and it’s at the end of a sex scene. Deep into my thought process, picturing the event happening, I don’t notice what my fingers are doing, and in the quiet sweaty moment that followed, I go back to scan what my characters were doing.

“… his cock pulsed as his cement shot across her breasts, and...”

Son of a…. Thanks, Siri. That’s a pleasant mental image we all didn’t need.

What are your best fails?

 

[SynSlave]

Too many to remember. Last one was a post. Was referencing something a user named joeyjack said and had to edit it when I read it. Phone changed it to hoeyhack. That made me giggle.

In a story I spent five minutes rewriting a sentence because my phone changed my attempt at typing the word: certain, into 'car train'. Really couldnt figure out what the sentence was supposed to read when i was editing.

Then of course i have plenty of standard searches. Fun (cum) is done at least once after im done writing.

 

[OmnislashXX]

And yet...that works!

Typically I type on my P.C. now because Auto correct makes me frustrated to no end.

 

[mynameisben]

The autocorrect on my Kindle must have been designed by a 17th century puritan. Every dirty word I can think of is "corrected" to something squeaky clean:

dick becomes duck
cunt becomes can't
cock becomes clock
pussy becomes pushy
penis becomes pens
fuck becomes dick (inexplicably)
ass becomes add
titties becomes fifties
boobs becomes blobs

Even words it has the faintest suspicion might be dirty get the sanitizing treatment:

Charles Dickens becomes Charles Sickens

Then there is a whole slew of common, clean words that it "corrects" into other common words I did not mean:

if becomes of
for becomes not
hell becomes he'll
were becomes we're

My autocorrect is wrong so often, and so absurdly, that I finally stopped pulling my hair out and disabled the damn thing. I waited way too long.

My life is so much better now.

 

[SynSlave]

Oh, if its isn't story related then I couldn't count the number of times ive told people to duck off, go duck themselves and politely requested, "duck me!"

Hell becomes he'll

That ones driving me nuts. I should remove that from the auto correct library but I feel once I start messing with that, it I'll eventually wind up with an even less intuitive product and a worse problem.

 

[CeasarBoobage]

The autocorrect on my Kindle must have been designed by a 17th century puritan. Every dirty word I can think of is "corrected" to something squeaky clean:

dick becomes duck
cunt becomes can't
cock becomes clock
pussy becomes pushy
penis becomes pens
fuck becomes dick (inexplicably)
ass becomes add
titties becomes fifties
boobs becomes blobs

Even words it has the faintest suspicion might be dirty get the sanitizing treatment:

Charles Dickens becomes Charles Sickens

Then there is a whole slew of common, clean words that it "corrects" into other common words I did not mean:

if becomes of
for becomes not
hell becomes he'll
were becomes we're

My autocorrect is wrong so often, and so absurdly, that I finally stopped pulling my hair out and disabled the damn thing. I waited way too long.

My life is so much better now.

Sorry, but this made me LMAO. Out loud.
I created a contact name in my address book with all the curse words and sexual terms I use. If it's in the contact list, the phone will no longer auto-correct me.

 

[Handley_Page]

I use a PC and Word 2003.
I really get p1$$ed off when a simple word gets changed.
For example:
Waitress => server.

In my part of the planet, we have Waiters or Waitresses serving the food at a restaurant;
we don't have 'servers' (unless part of a computer system).

 

[Jada59]

Cock becomes Vick
Balls become balks
Clit becomes clot
That becomes tgat

I'm sure there are a lot more.

 

[gordo12]

Friday my phone changed Geeze to Geezer. Thankfully it was my wife who already thinks I'm one.

 

[CeasarBoobage]

The moment loses it's erotic feeling when in my story it says I watched comone get ducked. fuck you, riri.

 

[Hypoxia]

I do not use autocorrect on any device. I generate enough foolish errors without machine assistance. The CuteHTML and Jarte editors on my laptops don't intrude. The SwiftKey app on my Android phone and tablet suggests words but doesn't alter them unless I'm unwary. Thus any absurdities are my own damn fault.

 

[LesDesirable]

I had a character named Marianne, which was auto-corrected to Marine, making my story a bit more gay-male than originally intended.