Men and sex

[DayDreamerZN]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

 

[ManofMischief]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

I’m not so sure you are so rare. I suspect social conditioning means men are freer to say these things out loud whereas that may not be so easy for women to express their discontent which is of course completely unfair and self perpetuating. Women are too easily judged in a different light to men.

I’ll don my helmet I suspect.

 

[Mtnmike]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

You're right about the cheating and happier families. My situation is, she don't see this as a problem though. About your situation, I've only talked to a handful of ladies in that situation. It's a shame we can't put each person with their sexual match.

 

[roc23]

So glad I never got married.

Never wanted to end up in a sexless marriage. *shudders*

 

[WillJ8787]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

I really wonder about this and also I have sorta rejected the female male imbalance here on literotica.

Offline, I've known​ men and women who cheated, friends and acquaintances, going about it quietly getting their needs met. It's about 50/50.

Online the imbalance is huge and favors the men as being a large group of sexually dissatisfied folks.

For me, I stick with the former as my insight into this phenomenon. For me, cheating didn't feel right, so I divorced and now have permission and I've had a great at home sex life in my second go around. This is a whole new profound level of sexuality. I wouldn't ever go back if I had the choice.

Interesting thing though is, my first marriage, the sex was good for a good bit....hmmm, so how does one know it will evaporate? Answer: I wish I knew!

 

[DDBustyBrit]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

I share your situation, he’s not interested, it’s not as rare as you think

 

[OrLaTime]

Pretty sure my wife would say the same about me.

 

[Seamus44]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

Very wise

 

[Lost_Yonder]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

Yes, there are many of us married men who are in sexless marriages, there are many women who also feel that frustration. But I am also going to venture a guess that many guys who claim to be in sexually frustrated marriages are in fact just "cheaters" and that is the excuse they use to justify their actions rather than just be honest that they want to have sex with other women. I have known a number of men who had amazing sex lives with their wives and who also regularly had affairs.

The solution is not necessarily better marital sex - it is rooted in unrealistic expectations we have about love, marriage, sex, desire. Think about it - the idea that one person is supposed to be your best friend, your roommate, your partner in raising children, and your lover continuously for the vast majority of your life is utterly irrational!

It is time to change our understanding, and practice, of marriage, imho...

 

[IceyBlue]

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

Just saying...

But it can, and does, go the other way often quite often too.

In our case my wife and me ended up with a live-in GF mostly because her husband was very inattentive towards her. He would watch porn and j/o in front of her instead of initiating sex with her. He was also an abusive drunk, but that believe it or not wasn't her biggest issue, the lack of sex was.

In chatting about it (they were friends, she lived nearby) my wife volunteered me to give her a seriously good fucking to help her out. She was a pretty straight-laced 'old fashioned gal who was rather shocked by the idea of sex with someone other than her husband.

Within a few weeks she had become our very outgoing sexually liberated bisexual lie-in girlfriend.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

But it can, and does, go the other way often quite often too.

In our case my wife and me ended up with a live-in GF mostly because her husband was very inattentive towards her. He would watch porn and j/o in front of her instead of initiating sex with her. He was also an abusive drunk, but that believe it or not wasn't her biggest issue, the lack of sex was.

In chatting about it (they were friends, she lived nearby) my wife volunteered me to give her a seriously good fucking to help her out. She was a pretty straight-laced 'old fashioned gal who was rather shocked by the idea of sex with someone other than her husband.

Within a few weeks she had become our very outgoing sexually liberated bisexual lie-in girlfriend.

Sounds perfect for everyone!

 

[Ashcurious]

Luckiest of men

I’ve been in a sexless, but most importantly, a loveless marriage for many years. No holding hands, intimate touches or even a kiss on the cheek. Fortunately, I’ve met the most amazing woman on here who may be many miles away from me, but is teaching me to love again and has changed my life. She is amazing.

 

[Justfantasies]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

Even when there is sex, after a long marriage, most men and most women seem to want a little sexual variety and excitement. Something new.

 

[30bandits]

i'm here for you ladies...we should help each other out...

 

[windwater]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

They cannot give what they don't have, and speaking for myself, I'd rather not have 'compliance,' - if she doesn't want to give, I don't want it.

Make sense?

 

[AlexBailey]

My wife and I are in a sweet and loving relationship. She confided to me that before we met she had wished for a partner who was hornier than she is, she got it, she got me. after 20 years her libido is slowing down while mine is picking up, creating a greater mismatch.

She is very supportive of me and my recent identification as non-binary which has brought me to what could be described as a new sexual adolescence. I have been discovering all kinds of new facets to my sexuality and my dear wife has been trying to find the energy to keep up but the energy just isn't there and unfortunately she is adamantly opposed to sharing me with anyone.

Her desire for monogamy is not negotiable, in spite of our love for each other, if I were to be sexual with someone else something inside of her would break and it would destroy us.

She is actively trying to increase her libido by exercising, changing her diet, increasing her bedroom wardrobe and toy collection. I could not be happier with her efforts, I just wish there were more success. 3-4 times a week is great but I still want more. I am trying to be satisfied with our progress, knowing full well how lucky I am to have such a loving partner.

I spend most of our private time in drag and even enjoy the occasional pegging. I have moved far beyond what she 'signed up for'. I am obligated by my word and honor to be faithful. I'm looking for a way to fetishize it so I can be excited by the situation.

I like light bondage and we're planning to get me a straight jacket so she can strap me up while she reads or watches TV, letting me struggle and sweat while she rests. I'm looking for the right jacket, I hope it works.



We have friends who have been in a loving but sexless marriage for over a decade. (Guy wants it the wife does not.) It finally came to a head and they went to a relationship therapist who suggested that if they want to work thru it and try to improve their sexual connection, they should mark a day on the calendar every week where they make a date to let the one with greater desires call the shots for an hour or two.

At first the wife dreaded it but once they got going and properly lubed the wife always enjoyed herself. She found that by the third week she was actually anticipating the date night, getting candles, lingerie and special toys... They now both seem happier and gentler with each other, they seem to be falling in love again.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

I seriously have no fuckin' idea about the human race. At some point a very long time ago now I began to realize there were circles in which I could move about without harming anyone else there and without being seriously harmed myself.

And I stay in those places.

What this means is if you insist on hanging out with idiots who have ALL THE OUTWARD AFFECTATIONS of being empathetic, sensitive, brave, intelligent, calm - but none of the inner substance - then you * well deserve what you are going to get. The standard ordinary human being is an insane, self-involved, myopic, but who likely holds down 'a good job,' has more than enough to buy smart enough clothes, and can buy enough 'friends' and push around the emotional obligations of enough direct relatives to get away with the superficial appearance of being mentally stable and not in great need of massive psychological analysis and help.

Which does not mean to say that you utterly cannot turn to help them or extend yourself to ameliorate some of their suffering; and they ARE suffering - they just won't admit it.

The circles in which you can find actually, really and truly well-adjusted people are very VERY tiny.

I mean seriously, what even IS a 'human being?'

I certainly won't admit to being one; they're goddamned an embarrassment. When I post like this I always get some fool say 'oh you must be so angry/miserable/unsatisfied/disappointed/' - that kind of thing.

No. I'm telling it like it is.

Nobody gave me any divine mission to save the rest of the world from their emotional fate! And I absolutely in the first place do not believe I would be able to anyway!

Oh you think I'm what, living in my own weird world? That I'm even slightly wrong?

Okay then - here's a challenge:

I'll name my top three-five sexiest males alive that I know of... ...no, actually how about you post yours first.

And then I'll whack you all over the head with my list.

And then you can work it all out from there by comparing what I list against what you 'think.'

I mean hey, it's a great thread topic, and completely valid and I feel for anyone or any sex, gender, or letter or anything, who has encountered a continuing profile with sexual and romantic partners or just ordinary 'friend-zone' people who at some point exhibit mountain-seized problems and hand them over to you, usually with the command that YOU change to accommodate THEIR unyielding lunacies.

Ego... Yeah save your breath and don't throw that insult at me; I have an ego and everyone has an ego and 'ego' is not a dirty word for me.

But last night I had a good time. And the night before. Did you?

 

[Hipshot1554]

I tried for years to understand my wife's attitude toward sex. All of the equipment is there and works, but she has always been unable to admit that she enjoys it.

She is multi-orgasmic, within a strict set of parameters. Consequently, the sex was always a re-run.

She has always avoided talking about her thoughts on this. The frustration finally got to be too much.

Physical issues would be much easier to deal with. Attitudes are, in her case, impossible.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Correct, Hipshot1554. The attitude thing is a HUGE issue, and apparently, especially these days. Why? I don't know why.

I think a lot of people have convinced themselves they are happy, and therefore they won't change.

People seem to tend to rely on their narrow range of strong points being enough; in other words that they do not need to be 'complete' as people or with many facets all of which are in relative balance.

 

[guns444]

Love my wife to death, but her lack if interest in sex has my mind wandering

 

[DayDreamerZN]

I’ve been in a sexless, but most importantly, a loveless marriage for many years. No holding hands, intimate touches or even a kiss on the cheek. Fortunately, I’ve met the most amazing woman on here who may be many miles away from me, but is teaching me to love again and has changed my life. She is amazing.

Sounds like you got really lucky! She must be pretty amazing to make such a huge difference in your life so far away.

 

[CTim]

I really wonder about this and also I have sorta rejected the female male imbalance here on literotica.

Offline, I've known​ men and women who cheated, friends and acquaintances, going about it quietly getting their needs met. It's about 50/50.

Online the imbalance is huge and favors the men as being a large group of sexually dissatisfied folks. !

Speaking in generalities, men have the higher drive about 80% of the time. So 20% of the women are higher drive than their man. Must be heavenly to have a high drive wife!

 

[amofiga]

So I recently posted a personal which attracted alot of attention.

I am surprised by how many married men are physically unhappy in their relationships because of affection and sexual needs being withheld.

If woman actually compromised and attempted to give their husbands more of what thy needed there would be a lot less cheating and alot more happier families.

For me my situation is rare because it's my husband who isn't interested.

Just saying...

As one who had done more "cheating" than he should have over many years, I think that the desire for having a variety of relationships goes beyond just a wife (or husband) simply "withholding sex". It has a lot to do with the attitude regarding sexual activity and the compatibility with the desire to enjoy it with more than just one person. Having sex with someone other than your spouse isn't necessarily just having "sex of any sort" because you aren't getting it at home. It's even not just getting type of sex you desire. It's no fun if your spouse comes off with a "ok, I'll do that just to please you" attitude. If they aren't on the same page regarding attitude and the desire to push the limit with variety, then it's just for show.

Also, the desire to have more than one partner goes beyond just the acts themselves. Every person has a different "sexuality" and attitude and technique and approach to things. They look different, feel different, smell different, taste different. Even if they are doing the same things you do with your spouse, there is a special jolt with doing it with someone else. All Italian restaurants can make lasagna, but every one has a slightly different recipe and method of assembly and spices. That lasagna can look and smell and taste different at different restaurants. Make any sense?

 

[seeshelly]

No matter how much you love...

No matter how much you love your husband or your wife you are still going to crave sexual variety. Why? Because it is in your DNA. Why do you crave to eat a variety of foods? It is healthier than eating the same old thing everyday and the desire for food variety is in your DNA also. Human society has tried to rewire desire to conform to concepts that don't work with our DNA. I love my husband and he loves me. But that has nothing to do with my desire to have sex with a variety of men or his desire to have sex with other women. So rather than battle DNA we find joy in making sure that we both are experiencing the sex we crave by nature.

Also, he understand that by nature females have a much greater sexual capacity then males. The average male can fuck once or twice in an hour. After a few orgasms they need to sleep. Many women could fuck a whole room full of guys and have one orgasm after another for hours. So my husband doesn't let jealousy or possessiveness cause him to try and limit my sexual pleasure based on his sexual capacity.

Couples need to talk openly about sex and their real deep down desires.

 

[Veeweewee]

One thing I learned very early on, at least with the highly sexed males in my family, is that if I'm not satisfying my husband, both in terms of frequency and variety, he'll go elsewhere, he needs to.

I went through a period of low libido... small kids, etc. So my husband had an affair. It did hurt when I found out, but I honestly couldn't blame him, I did understand his needs.

So I took the initiative, just put the canoe in the river and just started rowing. I fucked anytime, anywhere, anyhow, and I offered to have a threesome with her. It worked, it blew the lid off my libido and reawakened my bisexuality, and my husband was/is a very happy chappy.

We have an open relationship now, he can fuck whoever he wants, but he never strays unless I'm there too... plus all the other stuff I've written about.

I don't know if that helps anyone, but I hope she so.