Sexual fetishes, desires and preferences

[DayDreamerZN]

When people think of sex, most of the time they visualise vaginal sex yet sexual likes and dislikes run on a spectrum: from oral sex to role-play to foot or leather fetishes to bondage or submission in bed. There are things you absolutely love in bed, others you would not even consider while others are a grey area. But what happens when you or your partner asks for something that seems out of the ordinary to you or something you have never even heard of?

My mindset is like this, my husband is very vanilla. He has virtually zero sexual desire. My needs are not met. I write as an output to kind of deal with that dark side of me because firstly I don't feel comfortable discussing it with him and secondly he just would not appreciate that whatsoever.

 

[Jada59]

The only time this came up was before I was married. My now ex and my friend's husband wanted to wife/partner swap. She and I pretty much said, "Ick. No".

I was also asked to be in a threesome once. But it was my friend's boyfriend who asked. She freaked. Neither of us were into women and and I didn't like him one bit. He got her pregnant and she dumped him soon after the baby was born.

I just can't really fathom having a partner who would bring up weird stuff. I don't necessarily think the above stuff is weird, and I never fault anyone for asking. But I'm not into that.

I'm pretty much an open book so I should think that my partner would know my likes and dislikes.

Just curious though. What are you into that he's not?

I've been with guys who didn't want their nipples, balls or ass touched. Not a big deal. I want it to be good for both of us.

 

[PFWilly]

When people think of sex, most of the time they visualise vaginal sex yet sexual likes and dislikes run on a spectrum: from oral sex to role-play to foot or leather fetishes to bondage or submission in bed. There are things you absolutely love in bed, others you would not even consider while others are a grey area. But what happens when you or your partner asks for something that seems out of the ordinary to you or something you have never even heard of?

My mindset is like this, my husband is very vanilla. He has virtually zero sexual desire. My needs are not met. I write as an output to kind of deal with that dark side of me because firstly I don't feel comfortable discussing it with him and secondly he just would not appreciate that whatsoever.

Sorry your husband is such a vanilla character.

In our 50+ years of marriage we’ve shared a wide variety of sexual fantasies, from mild to wild. MFM, MMF, M2M, F2F, even such taboo subjects as incest and beastiality on rare occasions. Never acted on much of that, but we’ve both had a couple of encounters outside our marriage, her with a couple of male friends, and myself with a couple of male friends. All in good fun...

My only disappointment? There are things that she fantasizes about that I’d do for her...if only she’d just say yes.

 

[spawnofdavey]

My mindset is like this, my husband is very vanilla. He has virtually zero sexual desire. My needs are not met. I write as an output to kind of deal with that dark side of me because firstly I don't feel comfortable discussing it with him and secondly he just would not appreciate that whatsoever.

I can relate to this 100%. In the early days of our relationship I suggested a few things that I considered 'reasonable' links, but got shot down.. as time passed, I've learned that there is a very limited spectrum of positions and acts that are open to debate.

 

[screwher]

This seems less and less out of the ordinary on this site. But in the real world I'd say my desire for my wife to have sex with other men would definitely raise some eyebrows. It started years ago for me when my wife cheated with another man. I came within an eyelash of leaving her. But soon after I started to become aroused by her tryst. I started secretly fantasizing and masturbating to the idea of other men screwing her. I hope she'd do it again. When she did I then confessed my desires. We then decided as a couple she'd continue having sex with other men.

 

[CuttingEdge]

My wife is pretty good, most of the time if I ask for something, I get it whether it be sex, her dressing up in the bedroom, or putting on heels, stockings or a minidress while out on a date.

If I really push her when she really does not want too, she inevitably gives in, but then I feel like a heel for "forcing her".

But sometimes she will surprise me too. Like she will wear a mini sundress with no panties on a family car trip and tell me halfway through what she is NOT wearing. Or she will ride naked in the car (at night) while using a vibrator upon herself. So she does occasional fun things.

And then after she does those fun things, months later she will admit that she really loved doing it.

So I accept her occasional fun streak

 

[needit700]

lately I have had this want

A beautiful girl slowly jerking me off while she lets me suck her long red hard nipples and play with her tits. She loves when I cum all over her hand and actually lick and suck my cum off her hand as I eat your pussy!

 

[curiouslatino31]

This seems less and less out of the ordinary on this site. But in the real world I'd say my desire for my wife to have sex with other men would definitely raise some eyebrows. It started years ago for me when my wife cheated with another man. I came within an eyelash of leaving her. But soon after I started to become aroused by her tryst. I started secretly fantasizing and masturbating to the idea of other men screwing her. I hope she'd do it again. When she did I then confessed my desires. We then decided as a couple she'd continue having sex with other men.

I'm really curious to know how the conversation happened and how she reacted. Looks like it's working. I wish mine would cheat.

 

[MascaraRuns]

When people think of sex, most of the time they visualise vaginal sex yet sexual likes and dislikes run on a spectrum: from oral sex to role-play to foot or leather fetishes to bondage or submission in bed. There are things you absolutely love in bed, others you would not even consider while others are a grey area. But what happens when you or your partner asks for something that seems out of the ordinary to you or something you have never even heard of?

My mindset is like this, my husband is very vanilla. He has virtually zero sexual desire. My needs are not met. I write as an output to kind of deal with that dark side of me because firstly I don't feel comfortable discussing it with him and secondly he just would not appreciate that whatsoever.

I agree that there is way more to sex than intercourse. My husband is quite blah in the sex department and any activity is few and far between. I, on the other hand am a tad more adventurous. I like trying new things. Some are nice, some I don't try again, and a few things even I wouldnt try. But I cannot get him remotely interested. I am fortunate enough to have a fwb that shares my adventurous side. We are free to experiment because we trust one another to not be too much out there, but comfortable enough with one another to be open to discussion.

 

[BBCfan]

When people think of sex, most of the time they visualise vaginal sex yet sexual likes and dislikes run on a spectrum: from oral sex to role-play to foot or leather fetishes to bondage or submission in bed. There are things you absolutely love in bed, others you would not even consider while others are a grey area. But what happens when you or your partner asks for something that seems out of the ordinary to you or something you have never even heard of?

My mindset is like this, my husband is very vanilla. He has virtually zero sexual desire. My needs are not met. I write as an output to kind of deal with that dark side of me because firstly I don't feel comfortable discussing it with him and secondly he just would not appreciate that whatsoever.

I am fairly recently married and thankfully she knows ALL about my sexual fetish. It was not an easy road to be completely open but I would rather be single than have a side of my sexuality that was completely hidden from my partner.

She has indulged me with some role play of my fetish a few times but for the most part our sex is fairly vanilla but awesome.

I'm fine with that and she knows I play out my fetish through masturbatory fantasy.

I do prefer to fuck her often rather than masturbate but earlier in the year I found her turning down my advances fairly often.

I don't enjoy or desire to have a rejection a regular part of my interactions with my partner as my personal choice is to never say no to my partner.

for the past 6 months I decided to only have sex when she initiated interactions just to see where her sexual needs were.

During this time we had sex probably three to four times a month, which is way too infrequently for my desires to be met with a partner.

We had a long discussion last week about it. I brought up my findings and going forward expressed that this was not healthy relationship for me if I feel sexually frustrated often.

I said going forward I am going to initiate sex when I desire and basically take her pussy without asking for consent.

Obviously I'm understanding of extenuating circumstances but explained if rejection often occurs I will eventually lose interest in her pussy and seek one that desires my cock more frequently.

We have great communication and she admitted that life's stresses have gotten in the way of her sexual desires and was in agreement with my plan going forward.

I'm cynical of you statement concerning your husband's sex drive. Unless he has very low testosterone levels.

The saying goes 99% of guys jerk off and the other 1% lie...I'd bet he frequently masturbates to some kink or fetish he is too closeted about to divulge.

Why not have a radically honest and open conversation to try and find out where the sexual divide exists?

If he really doesn't have a sex drive he should have his testosterone levels checked.

You didn't mention your unfulfilled kink or fetish? Do you have any?

 

[OpenMouth]

In my 50s so I don't tend to think about the mechanical act of fucking a woman's vulva these days. I fantasise a lot about the anticipation, the scenario... I want the experience to be kind of crystallised, as intense as possible. A favourite one is just to imagine being on a bed, French kissing a fragrant girl, tasting lipstick, red wine and cigarettes on her, knowing she's got a bit of a slutty reputation.

 

[Erosfan]

I agree that there is way more to sex than intercourse. My husband is quite blah in the sex department and any activity is few and far between. I, on the other hand am a tad more adventurous. I like trying new things. Some are nice, some I don't try again, and a few things even I wouldnt try. But I cannot get him remotely interested. I am fortunate enough to have a fwb that shares my adventurous side. We are free to experiment because we trust one another to not be too much out there, but comfortable enough with one another to be open to discussion.

If and when my wife is feeling adventurous, I'm all in. She can be a sultry vixen at times and I know I'm going to reap the benefits. I never say no to anything she wishes and I never will.

 

[Bigaug]

I can honestly say that if my wife asked me to do something crazy sexually, I would not hesitate to do anything. She has done many things for me and I could never refuse her

 

[Crownvic]

My wife is pretty good, most of the time if I ask for something, I get it whether it be sex, her dressing up in the bedroom, or putting on heels, stockings or a minidress while out on a date.

If I really push her when she really does not want too, she inevitably gives in, but then I feel like a heel for "forcing her".

But sometimes she will surprise me too. Like she will wear a mini sundress with no panties on a family car trip and tell me halfway through what she is NOT wearing. Or she will ride naked in the car (at night) while using a vibrator upon herself. So she does occasional fun things.

And then after she does those fun things, months later she will admit that she really loved doing it.

So I accept her occasional fun streak

As long I get the heel...I don’t feel like one..