aggressive sex vrs gentle sex depictions

[Dirty_Lymerick]

Hello,

Budding author here, I have read many many many.. you get the idea books/short stories web novels and erotica in my 29 years on this planet. I'm certain that my parents thought I was trying to memorize the library or the internet.

This has both helped me and left me woe-begotten. I know exactly what I like to read and I have a tendency to write what I want to read as well, I guess this is the carrot.

The stick is that I get BORED of reading and writing things I cannot stand because it just plain does not interest me, there is no drive to flesh out a scene or reason for me to keep reading about one so I can't even summon the urge to do research on how to do it better.

The crux of the matter is that I would like to write. I WANT readers(I have published nothing yet because I am unsatisfied at the quality of my stuff), so I would like to be able to write what others like to read as well, to have in my stories (Not necessarily all of them) but my longer works, check some extra boxes. I've re-read my current stuff and I've noticed I have a theme running on very aggressive, passionate or obscenely perverse. Most of it is geared to wild and primal urges and sort of embracing the 'let it go and do as you please, ravaging one another' philosophy.

What I struggle to write is how to make a scene slower, how to TANTALIZE with decadence. Mind-blowing orgasms with nothing but a few strategic touches and sexy whispering or even straight-up vanilla thrust and bust but romantic like.

I've read quite a few FAQs, I also sort of need it for a part of my story I'm trying to write now, the MC is working in a brothel and she is engaged, so I'd like to find a way for her to get people off without touching them if she needs to, like getting off an ugly or a fat person.. I do have alternative methods to utilize to get through this particular 'Arc' but it strikes me as a bit boring to rely entirely on the MC's unique quirk for EVERY situation, this lacks character growth and I don't want her to get stale.

Please advise.

 

[SimonDoom]

Hello,

Budding author here, I have read many many many.. you get the idea books/short stories web novels and erotica in my 29 years on this planet. I'm certain that my parents thought I was trying to memorize the library or the internet.

This has both helped me and left me woe-begotten. I know exactly what I like to read and I have a tendency to write what I want to read as well, I guess this is the carrot.

The stick is that I get BORED of reading and writing things I cannot stand because it just plain does not interest me, there is no drive to flesh out a scene or reason for me to keep reading about one so I can't even summon the urge to do research on how to do it better.

The crux of the matter is that I would like to write. I WANT readers(I have published nothing yet because I am unsatisfied at the quality of my stuff), so I would like to be able to write what others like to read as well, to have in my stories (Not necessarily all of them) but my longer works, check some extra boxes. I've re-read my current stuff and I've noticed I have a theme running on very aggressive, passionate or obscenely perverse. Most of it is geared to wild and primal urges and sort of embracing the 'let it go and do as you please, ravaging one another' philosophy.

What I struggle to write is how to make a scene slower, how to TANTALIZE with decadence. Mind-blowing orgasms with nothing but a few strategic touches and sexy whispering or even straight-up vanilla thrust and bust but romantic like.

I've read quite a few FAQs, I also sort of need it for a part of my story I'm trying to write now, the MC is working in a brothel and she is engaged, so I'd like to find a way for her to get people off without touching them if she needs to, like getting off an ugly or a fat person.. I do have alternative methods to utilize to get through this particular 'Arc' but it strikes me as a bit boring to rely entirely on the MC's unique quirk for EVERY situation, this lacks character growth and I don't want her to get stale.

Please advise.

You are overthinking this. This site has a gazillion readers with many different interests. There's no one right way to do things.

My recommendation: write a story of about 10,000 words however you want to. Post it to the appropriate category and see what happens. You will learn more by doing than you will by talking in the abstract about what you want to write.

Read this on Literotica categories: https://literotica.com/s/love-your-readers-categories

It's the definitive guide on Literotica categories, and it gives you insight on what people are looking for in each category.

 

[KeithD]

My advice is to stop thinking there's one thing that every reader wants--or ten things, or a thousand things, or a million things. Write what you want to write, don't spend a lot of time worrying about others write, and trust that readers who like to read what you write will find you at this site, with its humongous number of individual-interest readers.

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

Oh. I missed this one, I'll definitely give it a look.

And you're right, I do overthink. I should probably start a lot simpler and get direct results to take notes on. I'm just really ambitious

Thanks.

 

[Jada59]

Just write what turns *you* on!

 

[vanmyers86]

Simon and Keith are correct in that you should write what interests you and not worry about anything else now. You may find that the category of things that interest you grows over time, for one thing.

As for writing tantalizing scenes, my best advice is to read widely and find some scenes you consider tantalizing. Read them a few times and deconstruct how the writer created the slow ascent that entices you. Start applying those techniques to your own writing - play with them until you make them your own.

As for guides, Outlander author Diana Gabaldon wrote a great guide to creating memorable sex and love scenes - I learned a lot from it and recommend it. It's called "I Give You My Body... How I Write Sex Scenes."

When it comes down to it, writing is a skill. You gotta practice if you're going to master it, just like sports, music and sex.

Best wishes to you!

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

Just write what turns *you* on!

I've certainly no issues with this, I've got quite a few pages of it.

But I get what you're saying, it's good to focus, people reading can sense the extra effort (usually.)

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

Simon and Keith are correct in that you should write what interests you and not worry about anything else now. You may find that the category of things that interest you grows over time, for one thing.

As for writing tantalizing scenes, my best advice is to read widely and find some scenes you consider tantalizing. Read them a few times and deconstruct how the writer created the slow ascent that entices you. Start applying those techniques to your own writing - play with them until you make them your own.

As for guides, Outlander author Diana Gabaldon wrote a great guide to creating memorable sex and love scenes - I learned a lot from it and recommend it. It's called "I Give You My Body... How I Write Sex Scenes."

When it comes down to it, writing is a skill. You gotta practice if you're going to master it, just like sports, music and sex.

Best wishes to you!

THanks. I will look this up, I hope it comes in handy. I appreciate you digging the title up instead of leaving me with the author.

 

[SamScribble]

There are a number of 'How To' books out there that might help. One friend of mine reckons that she learned to write reasonably competent smut by reading How to Write a Dirty Story by Susie Bright. Mind you, my friend is a woman who often cooks with the help of a recipe book.

Good luck.

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

There are a number of 'How To' books out there that might help. One friend of mine reckons that she learned to write reasonably competent smut by reading How to Write a Dirty Story by Susie Bright. Mind you, my friend is a woman who often cooks with the help of a recipe book.

Good luck.

I appreciate it, I neglect reading a lot of stuff though specifically because it bores me, a terrible excuse, I know. I've sensed a growing consensus that seems to suggest I need to suck it up and muscle down.

I was hoping to get other people to do the leg work and I can sift the comments >.> I am a bit shameless, Either way, this can help me find books that have proven to be useful, which still helps and prevents me from wasting time searching. Always something of value to be gleaned.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I was hoping to get other people to do the leg work and I can sift the comments >.> I am a bit shameless, Either way, this can help me find books that have proven to be useful, which still helps and prevents me from wasting time searching. Always something of value to be gleaned.

Get off your arse, don't be lazy, and just start writing. You want to write by committee you'll read like the minutes of a committee - dull, boring, pleasing no-one, and forgotten about tomorrow.

If you're going all perverse, just write perverse. If you're feeling all warm and gentle, write that. Then, write something else, and something else again. After a dozen short pieces, you'll be discovering your natural style, what you like and don't like. That's when you knuckle down and really get going. There are no short cuts, you've got to learn your chops.

Don't worry about "writing for readers." They'll find you, depending on what you write, so just get on with it.

 

[SimonDoom]

I appreciate it, I neglect reading a lot of stuff though specifically because it bores me, a terrible excuse, I know. I've sensed a growing consensus that seems to suggest I need to suck it up and muscle down.

I was hoping to get other people to do the leg work and I can sift the comments >.> I am a bit shameless, Either way, this can help me find books that have proven to be useful, which still helps and prevents me from wasting time searching. Always something of value to be gleaned.

A few more specific suggestions:

1. What turns you on? What kinds of stories? What kinds of situations? Pick a story you like, think about what turns you on about it, and then write something based on that.

2. Keep your first story short. Don't get too ambitious. You need to get something done and get it out there so you can get feedback.

3. What's the conflict? A good story, even an erotic story, has conflict of some kind. What obstacle does your main character face, and how does he/she overcome it?

4. Be careful about your punctuation. Not to be too judgmental, but judging from your comments you may want to be more careful about your comma use. You have some run on sentences. There are several "how to" guides on this site that are helpful about things like grammar, punctuation, dialogue conventions, etc.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Ah nah, yer see. You can't write stuff unless you have sound personal knowledge...

You'll need to be fat and ugly yourself to be able to really 'get' into the mindset of the experience in order to be able to write it authentically.

Chuckle. Just had to, dude. Can't help myself sometimes (well, often these days, really).

Okay I'm going to be serious now.

'...how to TANTALIZE with decadence. Mind-blowing orgasms with nothing but a few strategic touches and sexy whispering or even straight-up vanilla thrust and bust but romantic like.'

DL - you said you struggle to write a scene slower and that kind of thing. No you don't. You just DID write like that with those words I quoted from you above. You can do it, obviously.

Well okay maybe you 'STRUGGLE,' but you ARE ABLE to do it, that's clear.

What you are asking about is some expansion on potentially reliable technique. Firstly, I think writers absolutely need to be passionate about what they are writing about, especially erotica writers, especially the actually 'erotica' parts.

So, passion. Number 1.

2. Draw from art in motion to get the harmonics of pacing; watch some really good tango dancers at work - there are a lot of carefully paced examples of tango dance and music and choreography. You are basically choreographing sex in writing erotica. Erotica writers are choreographers.

Joseph Conrad is a fine example of a guy who knew how to 'pace' prose.

I mean there are a lot of ideas about technique around the place, some better than others and some more fitting for one kind of writer and not for another.

I am definitely not personally any kind of example to look at for pointers from the actual work itself, on account that I strongly suspect I pitch for only a very few sorts of readers.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Write what gets you going. If you’re bored, it’ll come thru and your readers will get that and you’ll lose them. There’s readers for everything on Literotica and you write it, the readers will come (pun intended). So go with your innermost desires, get it out and enjoy yourself. It’s not like you’re gonna make the big bucks here so just go out and have fun!!!!!

 

[OneAuthor]

There’s readers for everything on Literotica and you write it, the readers will come (pun intended).

I know I'm straying a bit from the topic, but the very notion of someone becoming so aroused while reading my words that they masturbate to orgasm... is even hotter to me than the words themselves.

*Takes a few moments to calm himself*

So anywho, to Dirty_Lymerick... like others have said, write what turns you on. There will definitely be readers who appreciate it too.

 

[ChloeTzang]

I know I'm straying a bit from the topic, but the very notion of someone becoming so aroused while reading my words that they masturbate to orgasm... is even hotter to me than the words themselves.

*Takes a few moments to calm himself*

So anywho, to Dirty_Lymerick... like others have said, write what turns you on. There will definitely be readers who appreciate it too.

Ohhhh I love it. Started in High School making up things for my boyfriend .... and never stopped.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Ohhhh I love it. Started in High School making up things for my boyfriend .... and never stopped.

Yes, I do that too. "Oh, honey, you're so big!" and "No, I've never done that with anyone before" and things like that.

 

[8letters]

The crux of the matter is that I would like to write. I WANT readers(I have published nothing yet because I am unsatisfied at the quality of my stuff), so I would like to be able to write what others like to read as well, to have in my stories (Not necessarily all of them) but my longer works, check some extra boxes. I've re-read my current stuff and I've noticed I have a theme running on very aggressive, passionate or obscenely perverse. Most of it is geared to wild and primal urges and sort of embracing the 'let it go and do as you please, ravaging one another' philosophy.

What I struggle to write is how to make a scene slower, how to TANTALIZE with decadence. Mind-blowing orgasms with nothing but a few strategic touches and sexy whispering or even straight-up vanilla thrust and bust but romantic like.

It sounds like you're asking for advice on how to add a lot of sexual teasing to your story to crank up the sexual tension before any touching happens. Do I have that right?

 

[ChloeTzang]

Yes, I do that too. "Oh, honey, you're so big!" and "No, I've never done that with anyone before" and things like that.

It’s soooooo much fun

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

A few more specific suggestions:

1. What turns you on? What kinds of stories? What kinds of situations? Pick a story you like, think about what turns you on about it, and then write something based on that.

2. Keep your first story short. Don't get too ambitious. You need to get something done and get it out there so you can get feedback.

3. What's the conflict? A good story, even an erotic story, has conflict of some kind. What obstacle does your main character face, and how does he/she overcome it?

4. Be careful about your punctuation. Not to be too judgmental, but judging from your comments you may want to be more careful about your comma use. You have some run on sentences. There are several "how to" guides on this site that are helpful about things like grammar, punctuation, dialogue conventions, etc.

What turns you on?

I have eclectic tastes.. They are wide and vary and over the last 5 years of exploring I have REALLY let my mind open up, I used to be very conservative, like my biggest fantasy for vast majority of my life was to take someone(whom I had to know i was planning to marry, or eventually marry) and buy out a restaurant and then eat a light meal, have drinks by candlelight and then have sex, it just simply felt wholesome and satisfying. After being in several more relationships talking about things they liked, wanted and exploring... now I'm googling choking, buying scented oils and reading about shemales and incest just to get my imagination revved up. I'm also odd cause it seems I can only like certain things in certain situations, like domination or corruption stories, I don't like the end goal to be corruption it just isn't satisfying. I prefer it to be part of a larger goal, like a revenge plot. (I found the movie and the book The Count of Monte Cristo oddly erotic, at least in the imaginative sense if not the actual physicality sense. Like brain porn.)

What kinds of stories?

I like sprawling novellas, characters with history and depth. It doesn't actually have to be long or dozens of chapters... I've found several people here who wrote stories that fleshed out a deep character within like 4 paragraphs before descending their characters into each other's wanton embrace. *edited here* I thought of a word.. 'Immersive' I don't know if it's appropriate as a suitable explanation as I don't put myself in their shoes but I like to understand their drive and feel the sense of passion or growing urgency.

What kinds of situations?

You know I try to write about how I felt when I was 18, single and fantasizing about every girl I saw(Don't laugh, but I was fantasizing about the restaurant) then I try to write it... Like just off the wall, impossible to happen stuff. I usually edit details into more of a sci-fi fantasy-esque background or magical background just to facilitate the world. Masturbation in public places, casual touches turning into raging infernos, the 'im not interested in you but I'm actually interested in you so I'm going to keep messing with you until you do something about it' I also really like situations where there is a clear submissive and dominant, or when the submissive gets the upper hand somehow, that's particularly exciting.

Keep your first story short.

This... I have failed miserably... written several hundred-page stories and deleted all of them. I am currently on probably my 3rd of fourth right now (130+ pgs atm), I honestly wished I saved them now but I was embarrassed. I think I struggle to write small... But I read above at a few posts by now suggesting I do exactly that and just ease into to get familiar with actually posting and editing requirements etc.

What's the conflict?

So.. Summary time, subject to change every third tuesday, modays landing on an even number and odd fridays(not the number, just fridays that are not normal). Is about a woman who turns 18 and inherits a talent to make peoples greatest desires to come true, it's so potent she unconciously maniuplates people around her. Of course the world i'm building is not so simple, she is not the only unique person and thus runs afoul of 'big brother'(the gov) leaving her in a storied, smutty adventure of navigating through the desires of all the people around her, big brother who wants to monopolize her and slowly discovering her own wants and desires and her place in the world. All through a series of unfortunate? events. There are some spicey details on how her ability works, she has to bargain with.. Herself who has her own desires. I'm really having fun with it.

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

It sounds like you're asking for advice on how to add a lot of sexual teasing to your story to crank up the sexual tension before any touching happens. Do I have that right?

Yes, this is about 50% of what I need. The other 50% is the scene from 40 days and 40 nights with Shannyn Sossamon and Josh Harttnet flower sex scene and blowing a flower petal around on her to make her orgasm.

I really liked the post of the person who said practice writing about two people doing the Tango, so I actually checked out Adtube(i'm looking at you, youtube.) to watch the scene where Antonio Banderas dances with Cathrine Zeta Jones... I have yet to transcribe it but i've been making notes.

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

Ah nah, yer see. You can't write stuff unless you have sound personal knowledge...

You'll need to be fat and ugly yourself to be able to really 'get' into the mindset of the experience in order to be able to write it authentically.

Chuckle. Just had to, dude. Can't help myself sometimes (well, often these days, really).

Okay I'm going to be serious now.

'...how to TANTALIZE with decadence. Mind-blowing orgasms with nothing but a few strategic touches and sexy whispering or even straight-up vanilla thrust and bust but romantic like.'

DL - you said you struggle to write a scene slower and that kind of thing. No you don't. You just DID write like that with those words I quoted from you above. You can do it, obviously.

Well okay maybe you 'STRUGGLE,' but you ARE ABLE to do it, that's clear.

What you are asking about is some expansion on potentially reliable technique. Firstly, I think writers absolutely need to be passionate about what they are writing about, especially erotica writers, especially the actually 'erotica' parts.

So, passion. Number 1.

2. Draw from art in motion to get the harmonics of pacing; watch some really good tango dancers at work - there are a lot of carefully paced examples of tango dance and music and choreography. You are basically choreographing sex in writing erotica. Erotica writers are choreographers.

Joseph Conrad is a fine example of a guy who knew how to 'pace' prose.

I mean there are a lot of ideas about technique around the place, some better than others and some more fitting for one kind of writer and not for another.

I am definitely not personally any kind of example to look at for pointers from the actual work itself, on account that I strongly suspect I pitch for only a very few sorts of readers.

I'll google Joseph Conrad. Also, thank you for the vote of confidence, I was attempting to show off a little when I wrote that I also hoped it would wiggle free more suggestions from the animal brain if people read it in such context.

 

[Dirty_Lymerick]

Write what gets you going. If you’re bored, it’ll come thru and your readers will get that and you’ll lose them. There are readers for everything on Literotica and you write it, the readers will come (pun intended). So go with your innermost desires, get it out and enjoy yourself. It’s not like you’re gonna make the big bucks here so just go out and have fun!!!!!

I LOL'd at your pun, probably the highest form of humor in my humble opinion... Not going to lie. I'm not really interested in making money either, I find writing extremely cathartic and doing so helps me relax, which sort of sucks too because when I can't get any creative juices going I feel fairly stifled. Hopefully, my work (whenever I manage to earn the courage to post something) will help relieve some stress for other people too .

 

[SimonDoom]

Keep your first story short.

This... I have failed miserably... written several hundred-page stories and deleted all of them. I am currently on probably my 3rd of fourth right now (130+ pgs atm), I honestly wished I saved them now but I was embarrassed. I think I struggle to write small... But I read above at a few posts by now suggesting I do exactly that and just ease into to get familiar with actually posting and editing requirements etc.

What's the conflict?

So.. Summary time, subject to change every third tuesday, modays landing on an even number and odd fridays(not the number, just fridays that are not normal). Is about a woman who turns 18 and inherits a talent to make peoples greatest desires to come true, it's so potent she unconciously maniuplates people around her. Of course the world i'm building is not so simple, she is not the only unique person and thus runs afoul of 'big brother'(the gov) leaving her in a storied, smutty adventure of navigating through the desires of all the people around her, big brother who wants to monopolize her and slowly discovering her own wants and desires and her place in the world. All through a series of unfortunate? events. There are some spicey details on how her ability works, she has to bargain with.. Herself who has her own desires. I'm really having fun with it.

I can tell you badly need to focus and work on a discrete idea for which you can write a short story and get it done. Then go on from there.

For instance, working with your woman who can make people's wishes come true concept: She's basically like a Genie. So let's make a short story in her universe.

She has an encounter with a nice, nerdy young man who does her a good deed. So she agrees to grant him a wish. He wishes that every woman who met him wanted to have sex with him. For the next 24 hours he has so much sex that in the end it's too much and he finds her to undo the wish. You have a character with a need (wants women to be attracted to him). There's a conflict: the desire women have for him becomes too much. There's lots of opportunity for great sex. And there's a resolution. And it can all fit into a short story. There you go.

Put the novels aside and work on a short story so you can get something done.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Put the novels aside and work on a short story so you can get something done.

Agree this, very strongly.

Do your apprenticeship first (a dozen or so 10k stories or chapters) with shorter, self-contained pieces. Get some feedback, learn your own style, and then try the big one.