A Journey In Vulnerability

[tastylover]

And the worst part... People would never know. I'm so good at pretending to be fine, at acting certain ways to distract myself(and the people around me). It's acting out, really. But not in a way that's easily recognizable as such. It's self destructive, but only to my soul, where no one can ever see the scars.

Ditto Ditto I always find myself "fishing" to see if people around me will realize something isn't right. I don't have anyone who is emotionally close, that I can just open up to. So I find myself fishing, and dying inside a little each time because nobody seems to realize I'm asking for help. Because I'm a really, really good liar when it comes to faking that I'm fine. Which is all to say, you aren't alone, and I'm wishing you the best and greatest luck, because you've sounded like a really good person, and good things should happen to good people, damnit!

 

[curiousnr66]

Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. It is so difficult to expose ourselves but it is how we can truely get in touch with ourselve. Beautiful photos also...

 

[Elgirldani]

Ditto Ditto I always find myself "fishing" to see if people around me will realize something isn't right. I don't have anyone who is emotionally close, that I can just open up to. So I find myself fishing, and dying inside a little each time because nobody seems to realize I'm asking for help. Because I'm a really, really good liar when it comes to faking that I'm fine. Which is all to say, you aren't alone, and I'm wishing you the best and greatest luck, because you've sounded like a really good person, and good things should happen to good people, damnit!

This is exactly what I meant! I’m sorry that you have the same struggle but it’s nice to know that other people do understand what you’re going through. If you ever need someone to talk to, reach out. I know all too well the way feeling alone can destroy you emotionally.

 

[Elgirldani]

Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. It is so difficult to expose ourselves but it is how we can truely get in touch with ourselve. Beautiful photos also...

You’re welcome, and thanks for posting! I’d like to think that by my sharing, maybe someone else has been able to open up about the things they are feeling, even if only to themselves.

 

[Elgirldani]

Inside Out

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

A stark, deceptively beautiful picture. I have come to appreciate B&W photography as more than the absence of colour. In many ways a pic like this says much more than the words. Are you actually inside looking out or outside looking in?

 

[Moochienanu]

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

I have this feeling often...
The disconnect that happens
When you feel tethered to something
(or sometimes someone)
That seems impermanent in some way.

Like you’re set afloat
A balloon lost from the hand
Of a toddler as they dance
Hands to the sky
They release you
Accidentally
But the music
And the rhythm
Is a distraction
And you aren’t noticed
As you watch
The distance

Growing


Further



Until




You’re






Forgotten.

 

[Youneverknow81]

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

That struggle is life. Everyone feels it. If you didn’t I’d be concerned

Beautiful picture by the way!

 

[Smoothshavendad]

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

It speaks volumes. Feeling much the same today...

 

[rulickable]

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

I see a beautiful, sexy, and strong woman

 

[tastylover]

In a very "Do as I say not as I do" moment, I would encourage you to talk to someone close to you if you have them available, about how you are feeling. Maybe that fella that we see hangin round here on occasion. I think for some of us out there, its easy to get exhausted and kind of wall off our emotions, especially if we don't have a bunch of people to draw us out of our shells on a daily basis.

Or if that isn't an option, find a movie that makes you tear up either because of happy tears or sad tears and just watch the fuck out of it, to help kind of break down that wall.

Best in the daily struggle!

 

[Elgirldani]

A stark, deceptively beautiful picture. I have come to appreciate B&W photography as more than the absence of colour. In many ways a pic like this says much more than the words. Are you actually inside looking out or outside looking in?

I have this feeling often...
The disconnect that happens
When you feel tethered to something
(or sometimes someone)
That seems impermanent in some way.

Like you’re set afloat
A balloon lost from the hand
Of a toddler as they dance
Hands to the sky
They release you
Accidentally
But the music
And the rhythm
Is a distraction
And you aren’t noticed
As you watch
The distance

Growing


Further



Until




You’re






Forgotten.

That struggle is life. Everyone feels it. If you didn’t I’d be concerned

Beautiful picture by the way!

It speaks volumes. Feeling much the same today...

I see a beautiful, sexy, and strong woman

In a very "Do as I say not as I do" moment, I would encourage you to talk to someone close to you if you have them available, about how you are feeling. Maybe that fella that we see hangin round here on occasion. I think for some of us out there, its easy to get exhausted and kind of wall off our emotions, especially if we don't have a bunch of people to draw us out of our shells on a daily basis.

Or if that isn't an option, find a movie that makes you tear up either because of happy tears or sad tears and just watch the fuck out of it, to help kind of break down that wall.

Best in the daily struggle!

Thank you all for your kind replies. As it happens, I did spend the afternoon talking about how I’ve been feeling with my guy, and it definitely helped. Unfortunately, it’s been the case more often than not in my life that I don’t have anyone I’m close to. Sometimes I find it difficult to reach out now that I do. Using this place as a sounding board helps, and once I am able to get my thoughts typed out, it’s usually easier for me to open up irl. So sincerely, thank you all for reading these posts.

 

[Youneverknow81]

Thank you all for your kind replies. As it happens, I did spend the afternoon talking about how I’ve been feeling with my guy, and it definitely helped. Unfortunately, it’s been the case more often than not in my life that I don’t have anyone I’m close to. Sometimes I find it difficult to reach out now that I do. Using this place as a sounding board helps, and once I am able to get my thoughts typed out, it’s usually easier for me to open up irl. So sincerely, thank you all for reading these posts.

It’s a pleasure to do it for you. The least we can do for all you share

 

[Elgirldani]

It’s a pleasure to do it for you. The least we can do for all you share

Thanks

 

[Elgirldani]

In Memory...

Today was a sad day for me. Or I should say yesterday, since it's after midnight. One of my great Aunts passed away very unexpectedly in the morning. I wasn't prepared for how hard it hit me. We weren't around each other a lot but I always admired her so much, and I like to think I was always a bit of a favorite of hers.

I was just thinking about how strong of a woman my Aunt was. She didn't take shit from anyone and was always in control of any situation she found herself in, but she also had the biggest heart. She hugged like she meant it, and her laughter filled whatever room she was in. I remember being a shy, wallflower teenager and wishing to be like her when I got older. I had this idea that I would take a picture to honor my memory of her as one of the strongest people I knew, and to try and encapsulate the essence of that strength, but also to show the softer side as well. But maybe what it shows is more of that wallflower teenager feeling. Caught between seeing what I wanted to be like and not believing that I had it in me...

Either way, she'd probably think I was insane for posting a photo like this in her memory. But this is how I process my emotions, so I'm doing it anyway. I can see the look she'd give me now, before she would slap me playfully and burst out laughing, and the thought makes me smile. I'll miss you Aunt S. I'm still trying to be like you when I get older.

 

[Elgirldani]

Your Bear admires how strong you truly are. You inspire me daily. You are loved and adored beyond measure.

Thanks honey

 

[Elgirldani]

Good morning all!

 

[30bandits]

Good morning all!

gm, love your outfits...you look fabulous in them...

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Today was a sad day for me. Or I should say yesterday, since it's after midnight. One of my great Aunts passed away very unexpectedly in the morning. I wasn't prepared for how hard it hit me. We weren't around each other a lot but I always admired her so much, and I like to think I was always a bit of a favorite of hers.

I was just thinking about how strong of a woman my Aunt was. She didn't take shit from anyone and was always in control of any situation she found herself in, but she also had the biggest heart. She hugged like she meant it, and her laughter filled whatever room she was in. I remember being a shy, wallflower teenager and wishing to be like her when I got older. I had this idea that I would take a picture to honor my memory of her as one of the strongest people I knew, and to try and encapsulate the essence of that strength, but also to show the softer side as well. But maybe what it shows is more of that wallflower teenager feeling. Caught between seeing what I wanted to be like and not believing that I had it in me...

Either way, she'd probably think I was insane for posting a photo like this in her memory. But this is how I process my emotions, so I'm doing it anyway. I can see the look she'd give me now, before she would slap me playfully and burst out laughing, and the thought makes me smile. I'll miss you Aunt S. I'm still trying to be like you when I get older.

I’m very sorry for your loss. You sound fortunate to have her in your life, and you honor her well.

 

[Elgirldani]

gm, love your outfits...you look fabulous in them...

Thanks

I’m very sorry for your loss. You sound fortunate to have her in your life, and you honor her well.

Thank you

 

[Followmenow6969_2]

This is kind of an unusual post for me, as I don't really have much to say...

Anyone else struggling to feel emotionally connected to themselves, let alone others, atm? That's where I'm at lately. It's a hollow, frightening feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable to the world. Like someone else will see something about me and recognize it for what it is, while I haven't been able to.

What an AMAZING behind

 

[Texastuffbbc]

I'm about to head off for the night, but I wanted to say again, thank you to everyone who left me a reply, and even to most of you who sent PMs, lol. I appreciate everyone's kindness in indulging me and I hope you all will keep coming back.

I've had an interesting epiphany in the last hour, so I just wanted to put this out there. I will tease, and probably flirt, and be a sarcastic little bitch even, at times in this thread. I will obviously post parts of my life, and even parts of my body. If I get to know some of you better, I may be willing to open up more about who I am as a person.

Those of you who may be lucky enough to see that side of me may or may not like what you find. But I've figured out that that's ok. I don't need to be anything but myself, and I don't need everyone to like me.

But I do need everyone to respect the human emotions, even the most shallow, that may go along with this experience, as I will always try to do for anyone I interact with. It's easy to forget that when you aren't face to face with someone. I've been guilty, and I apologize for anything that may not have represented who I really want am, and who I'd like to share with you all. I respectfully ask that no one try to get details out of me, I'm not telling on this one.

If you've made it this far, I'd like to thank you with this offering. It was the other option I had for starting this thread.

Enjoy your salty and keep it LIT.

 

[Elgirldani]

What an AMAZING behind

 

[Elgirldani]

Enjoy your salty and keep it LIT.

I do my best

 

[rulickable]

Today was a sad day for me. Or I should say yesterday, since it's after midnight. One of my great Aunts passed away very unexpectedly in the morning. I wasn't prepared for how hard it hit me. We weren't around each other a lot but I always admired her so much, and I like to think I was always a bit of a favorite of hers.

I was just thinking about how strong of a woman my Aunt was. She didn't take shit from anyone and was always in control of any situation she found herself in, but she also had the biggest heart. She hugged like she meant it, and her laughter filled whatever room she was in. I remember being a shy, wallflower teenager and wishing to be like her when I got older. I had this idea that I would take a picture to honor my memory of her as one of the strongest people I knew, and to try and encapsulate the essence of that strength, but also to show the softer side as well. But maybe what it shows is more of that wallflower teenager feeling. Caught between seeing what I wanted to be like and not believing that I had it in me...

Either way, she'd probably think I was insane for posting a photo like this in her memory. But this is how I process my emotions, so I'm doing it anyway. I can see the look she'd give me now, before she would slap me playfully and burst out laughing, and the thought makes me smile. I'll miss you Aunt S. I'm still trying to be like you when I get older.

Beautiful