Sexless Marriages

[RichardBentwood]

How many of you have cheated due to a sexless marriage?
I always say to myself I'm going to, but I know I won't.

 

[KDBisback]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I don’t feel I can post on this thread anymore.... it’s a shame. It had a promising start but has been reduced to “ my wife is a bitch “

Sad you feel that way. I’ve never said those words about my wife and never would.

 

[KDBisback]

How many of you have cheated due to a sexless marriage?
I always say to myself I'm going to, but I know I won't.

I’m close but don’t have the balls to do it. Standing offer awaits me if I say yes

 

[tg56boy]

Sexless marriage

A lack of sex was in our marriage, but no more. Three years ago my wife and I met a bisexual couple. After talking things over we now have a great sex life. What makes it so great? Our needs are being met. My male lover and I are now full time partners. As is my wife and her female lover. we both finally have the the love life that is ever so satisfying. My wife feels that it great that I have a lover who is able to meet my needs. My lover and I just got back from ten days in Cancun. It was such heaven. She and her lover are heading there in a day. I had never thought I would ever engage in man-to-man love making. But what a change. I enjoy being penetrated by my lover. Yes, we do make sure we are clean prior to sharing our love for eachother. This is important because I love it when he comes in me, I feel so good and so much like a real man when he comes. My wife is equally happy eating the pussy of her lover. She tells me that she feels like a total woman. So, communication is the key.

 

[ahsorandy]

Late to finding this thread!

What a shame that so many men, and some women, are left hanging in a sexless marriage. I'm a man stuck in this very situation.

My wife is a very attractive lady that has never had much of a libido during our 40 some odd years of marriage. Now that she has past through menopause, sex is not even in her vocabulary any longer.

If my wife weren't such a lovely lady, and person, I'd have cheated on her already. I'm so sexually frustrated that I can't function some days. Masturbation helps, however, it doesn't replace that drive I have to play with and enjoy the female body.

I wish my wife would want sex as much as she wants to babysit and play with our grandchildren.

I need to find a lady that wants her female body parts played with! Any Volunteers?

 

[Texastuffbbc]

Same...high sex drive...packing, but wife not really want.

 

[Mtnmike]

Our problems started the same way and about the same time of marriage. Tried all the ways to help but just got worse and worse. Been almost 10 years of absolutely no intimacy at all, so you will need to make some tough decisions about what you really want in life. Good Luck.

 

[StrangeView]

I don’t feel I can post on this thread anymore.... it’s a shame. It had a promising start but has been reduced to “ my wife is a bitch “

Mine isn't, it's just that we've got a whole lot of other problems. It would be a shame to see you leave, these threads always benefit from different voices and perspectives.

 

[MascaraRuns]

If I had a wife that wanted it all the time, I’d give it to her, all the time lol.

And she would be lucky

 

[colophan]

It's interesting, I taken to calling it second puberty. At 42, the simplest thing will get me just as aroused as it did when I was 16. My wife however, is content with every other month it seems.

 

[newhere2learn]

Mine isn't, it's just that we've got a whole lot of other problems. It would be a shame to see you leave, these threads always benefit from different voices and perspectives.

Here here..very eloquently put. Exactly the same for me.

 

[Beachaged]

I don’t feel I can post on this thread anymore.... it’s a shame. It had a promising start but has been reduced to “ my wife is a bitch “

Don't let a few drive you away. Many of us don't feel that way. Personally I love my wife very much. We get along great. We don't fight. She has lost her sex drive due to various medical issues starting with menopause. She is still a very special person and I couldn't fathom not having her in my life.

 

[KentuckyDom1971]

I don’t feel I can post on this thread anymore.... it’s a shame. It had a promising start but has been reduced to “ my wife is a bitch “

I agree and feel the same way. This thread was a promising read. There is a difference between sharing and venting and just down right bitching.

 

[MutualMatureMike]

I agree and feel the same way. This thread was a promising read. There is a difference between sharing and venting and just down right bitching.

That pretty much nails it.
A wasted opportunity for something good to come out of shared experiences.

 

[Wld1936]

I don’t feel I can post on this thread anymore.... it’s a shame. It had a promising start but has been reduced to “ my wife is a bitch “

I'm new on this site. You are so right Spiritedlady ... This thread had a promising start. We need to get back to what it was intend for. I have a sexless marriage for the most part. That's why I'm on here to chat and have some fun! Thanks everyone for sharing.

 

[nkycatsfan]

What a shame to see this thread take a nose-dive. I just started reading it today and can relate to a LOT of the original posters. My wife and I had a FANTASTIC sex life going...then her sex drive just crashed, while mine stayed where it still is now. I keep trying to find ways to work back into it. She had started taking supplements this past month and BAM...we had a week of great sex, only to be followed up with her stopping the supplements and seeing the drive crash again. Sucks, because she's still smoking hot and I want her...but after about 3 years of being virtually ignored, I look for erotic conversation wherever I can get it and would almost welcome a physical-only, consistent side piece to get off with more than my hand once in awhile lol.

I just wish we could figure out something that would adjust her drive back to where it was before...which was a crazier sex life than most tbh.

 

[KinkyColby]

Yep. For me more than half the fun is getting her off.

Agreed... going through the motions is not a solution. I do appreciate the thought/effort.

 

[CrowdedStranger]

Damn alot of you have it worse than me!
Sexless is bad enough but hostile environment? Fuuuuck!!!

My wife is just flat out uninterested in sex,romance,everything. I have to steal kisses,hugs,just holding hands. But other than that it's like we're best friends. 30+ fucking years and I'm friendzoned? She wanted to move away from the area and family drama so she moved here where her friend lived. She came out ahead of me and got a house and set her life up. I stayed behind trying to salvage anything I could from the mess before I came here. After 2 years of being told about the place before she moved I get here to a place where none of my work experience means jack. The only people I know besides my family never liked me and it's always been made obvious it's mutual. So I'm here 2000 miles from home in a town that doesn't deserve a 'village' sign at the entrance,basically I'm just a stray dog the wife takes care of because she's always been kind ( wonder what fucked up our lives til she broke)
my adult daughter treats me like a cute invalid and after working my ass of all my life I'm a semi jobless bum.
Just the environment has me on my way to catching a charge and the sexless part? Total lack of hyperactive sex life,no stress relief whatsoever.....meltdown imminent.....

 

[KDBisback]

Damn alot of you have it worse than me!
Sexless is bad enough but hostile environment? Fuuuuck!!!

My wife is just flat out uninterested in sex,romance,everything. I have to steal kisses,hugs,just holding hands. But other than that it's like we're best friends. 30+ fucking years and I'm friendzoned? She wanted to move away from the area and family drama so she moved here where her friend lived. She came out ahead of me and got a house and set her life up. I stayed behind trying to salvage anything I could from the mess before I came here. After 2 years of being told about the place before she moved I get here to a place where none of my work experience means jack. The only people I know besides my family never liked me and it's always been made obvious it's mutual. So I'm here 2000 miles from home in a town that doesn't deserve a 'village' sign at the entrance,basically I'm just a stray dog the wife takes care of because she's always been kind ( wonder what fucked up our lives til she broke)
my adult daughter treats me like a cute invalid and after working my ass of all my life I'm a semi jobless bum.
Just the environment has me on my way to catching a charge and the sexless part? Total lack of hyperactive sex life,no stress relief whatsoever.....meltdown imminent.....

That sucks... feel for you

 

[The_gladiator]

I feel the issue arose when people expanded the subject to all the other issues wrong with the marriage and how so many of them felt like “I am innocent and the victim and she is horrible.” I feel that the issues should remain on the sex, yes we all have different causes but I think the focus needed to stay on the sexlessness and how do folks address it. I have the utmost respect for my wife, yet wish our sex life was more in tune. I felt like the OP was saying that his marriage was otherwise happy and just this factor was so disproportionally different.

Just my opinion but if people are in such hostile environments where they feel the need to tare their marriage apart so much in this thread why don’t they have divorce papers in hand? Life is too short.

 

[RightSized]

Brand new here but not new to sexless marriage. Will celebrate our 30th in November but her libido has been declining for over 10 years. No sex at all from summer of 2012 until about last fall. There were gyno problems but also relationship issues, mostly my fault. She's also very depressed, extremely overweight and has all kinds of chronic pain stuff going on. She finally agreed to see her ob/gyn to treat the vaginitis and we eased back to a once a week routine. Even then sex with her is somewhere between rape and necrophilia. She was never much into anal but recently almost prefers it over taking my dick in her snatch.

Too much invested in our marriage, including a grown son with psych/developmental issues. I want to fuck someone else badly but don't quite know how to go about it at my 61. I go to the gym three times a week and twice to the dojo so I'm pretty fit and have a lot of physical vitality. No luck with hookup sites. Don't need kink, just some vigorous fucking, licking and sucking.

Any advice for this horny old guy in Chicago?

 

[RightSized]

I love oral sex
I love eating her pussy and ass

Sadly
She does not like sucking on my penis

And that is something I truly desire
I love having my penis sucked
So it kills the mood for sex

Could be why I have such an oral fixation on suckling a penis

My wife doesn't even like having her pussy eaten. I do it for myself to stay in practice for a woman who really wants it. She will occasionally suck my cock for a few minutes at a time but she hasn't made me cum in years and hasn't swallowed since before we were married. The last time she made me cum was in the infertility specialist's office (that was hot) and I popped off into a specimen container. How long ago was that? My twins turn 26 in October.

 

[RightSized]

I don’t feel I can post on this thread anymore.... it’s a shame. It had a promising start but has been reduced to “ my wife is a bitch “

It would be easier if my wife was a bitch and if I hadn't been such a lousy husband for so long. I love her and I'm still trying to atone for my excessive drinking and general self-centeredness in years past. But that didn't make her frigid. She just didn't take care of herself and no longer thought that sex was important.

 

[Spiritedlady]

Having babies has a massive impact in terms of how you view yourself and how you are viewed by society. ( without mentioning the lack of time and tiredness) Getting older is also not regarded as a positive thing for women - we are replaced by younger models endlessly and told we can’t be grey , can’t have wrinkles. This is without the added issue of menopause which can make you feel dreadful... really awful. Weight that used to be simple to shift suddenly isn’t going anywhere... do you see how all of these things together can make you feel like a non person, let alone a non sexual one. I’m not here to champion the cause of every non sexual woman out there.... there is no right or wrong libido to have...but these are factors that contribute to some of the problems.

And as an aside... if you know your partner doesn’t like a sex act you shouldn’t be performing it on them. They need to be actively and willingly consenting not just passively accepting it to keep you quiet. I know that might mean you get no action at all but sorry that’s how it is.

 

[The_gladiator]

Having babies has a massive impact in terms of how you view yourself and how you are viewed by society. ( without mentioning the lack of time and tiredness) Getting older is also not regarded as a positive thing for women - we are replaced by younger models endlessly and told we can’t be grey , can’t have wrinkles. This is without the added issue of menopause which can make you feel dreadful... really awful. Weight that used to be simple to shift suddenly isn’t going anywhere... do you see how all of these things together can make you feel like a non person, let alone a non sexual one. I’m not here to champion the cause of every non sexual woman out there.... there is no right or wrong libido to have...but these are factors that contribute to some of the problems.

And as an aside... if you know your partner doesn’t like a sex act you shouldn’t be performing it on them. They need to be actively and willingly consenting not just passively accepting it to keep you quiet. I know that might mean you get no action at all but sorry that’s how it is.

Well said, thank you, especially that second part. I am very big on consent and yeah, you said it well.