Sexless Marriages

Omg...you guys are describing my marriage to the letter. Yesterday was Fathers Day I thought some intimacy might be in store. Instead I was asked if sex is all I think about. Talk about a mood killer
 
Omg...you guys are describing my marriage to the letter. Yesterday was Fathers Day I thought some intimacy might be in store. Instead I was asked if sex is all I think about. Talk about a mood killer
Lol, the answer is yes... thats why we want it all the time...
 
does having sex once in the last 6 months count as sexless? if so then that is where i am
 
does having sex once in the last 6 months count as sexless? if so then that is where i am

That makes me feel much better, I thought an average of once a month was sexless. Thoughts going out to you!!
 
Almost never unless I force myself. So I “cum” here to get my fantasies realized and appreciated.
 
I can relate to that. Just wish I could find someone in So Cal and maybe find some mutual satisfaction.

In my case it has been way to many years. Unfortunately my wife would have no interest in a nude weekend.
 
Sexless marriage

Do rivie do you or did you suffer the same frustration as us, sexless?
 
Do rivie do you or did you suffer the same frustration as us, sexless?

If ya read back through some of the first pages, I shared my story.

Long and short. Husband asexual. No touch/kiss or intimacy etc for over six years, getting close to 7.

Finally got through and he heard me that I have needs and agreed to open the marriage for me to meet them if I chose to.
 
My marriage isn't completely sexless but the infrequency and often extended dry spells leave me longing for intimacy. I've made peace with that (in virtually every other way we have a great relationship).
Lit provides an outlet for exploration and sometimes enduring connections.
 
It's nice to know it's not just me. I just had a discussion/argument with my wife. We didn't have sex on our anniversary, Valentine's day or Father's day this year for the first time since being married. She told me she didn't understand why it bothered me and she didn't think it was strange at all.
 
My marriage isn't completely sexless but the infrequency and often extended dry spells leave me longing for intimacy. I've made peace with that (in virtually every other way we have a great relationship).
Lit provides an outlet for exploration and sometimes enduring connections.

This is pretty much where I'm at. It's a balance, it's bearable, but has dark moments.
 
Wow. I thought my situation was bad, but I see how much worse it could be.

I've been married 30 yrs. We had a pleasant sex life for the first half, though quite vanilla. Rare initiation on her part. But she enjoyed it. Then she had to have a hysterectomy.

I feel so bad for her. Her desire is gone. We might have sex every month or two, but they're pity fucks, which doesn't do much for my ego.

At least the first dozen years I had the frequency AND intimacy, if not the kick from the mental layers I like. Now, I've met a few nice ladies online---I get the mental kick, but obviously even the hottest cyber pales in comparison to actual physical touch.


I'm at an age where I don't see a path to achieving both at the same time. Watching that clock tick. . .


Life sure is more complex than we were told as children. Right?!
 
Thank you for the chuckles provided by some of your witty comments. There is humour in even sad situations. Sadly, quite a few of the less amusing posts resonated with me. In a strange way, it is somehow comforting knowing others are in the same predicament for various reasons. It happens on both sides of the marital bed, but I suspect more women lose interest, especially from their 50’s, due to that wondrous thing called menopause. That’s when we’re told everything will suddenly change, sex with no worry of pregnancy, an incredible freedom. For many women, their libido doesn’t get the same ‘now you’re a sex kitten’ memo! It can be the same for a woman exhausted from pregnancy, suddenly being a mother, often no longer feeling sexy.

I understand we’re all different, but with good communication many couples work their way through the minefield that sexuality is. But like anything, you need two to tango, or in this case, talk. If one partner, male or female, is feeling unattractive or uninterested, they need to realise their partner still had needs, and at least help them to get that release in a loving way, not the ‘well I will if I have to’ scenario. For me, I’m in a sexless marriage, and it’s been like this for about 8 years now. I can live without sex, but it’s the intimacy I crave. The flirting, comments, touches, exchanged looks, skin on skin cuddles, and knowing someone desires you, which is a strong need for most of us. I feel that’s one of the saddest aspects, as we yearn to have our partner desire us, and when they don’t, we can go searching. For me I’m now over 60, so I am thankful my husband is a good bloke, and we get on like best friends, and I know it could be a lot worse. Do I feel resentful and cross, rejected and hurt at times, I certainly do. I don’t want the stress of a physical affair, and while I may be old, I’m certainly not dead, so I have looked online for someone to fill that gap, and be my oasis. To message daily, enjoy that mind connection, laugh, and share some of those deep, inner thoughts. I guess to feel in a couple in a weird kind of way. I feel for others in a similar situation, desperately wanting to love your partner, and be desired by them, but it's a no go zone. Life certainly delivers some challenges along the way.
 
Thank you for the chuckles provided by some of your witty comments. There is humour in even sad situations. Sadly, quite a few of the less amusing posts resonated with me. In a strange way, it is somehow comforting knowing others are in the same predicament for various reasons. It happens on both sides of the marital bed, but I suspect more women lose interest, especially from their 50’s, due to that wondrous thing called menopause. That’s when we’re told everything will suddenly change, sex with no worry of pregnancy, an incredible freedom. For many women, their libido doesn’t get the same ‘now you’re a sex kitten’ memo! It can be the same for a woman exhausted from pregnancy, suddenly being a mother, often no longer feeling sexy.

I understand we’re all different, but with good communication many couples work their way through the minefield that sexuality is. But like anything, you need two to tango, or in this case, talk. If one partner, male or female, is feeling unattractive or uninterested, they need to realise their partner still had needs, and at least help them to get that release in a loving way, not the ‘well I will if I have to’ scenario. For me, I’m in a sexless marriage, and it’s been like this for about 8 years now. I can live without sex, but it’s the intimacy I crave. The flirting, comments, touches, exchanged looks, skin on skin cuddles, and knowing someone desires you, which is a strong need for most of us. I feel that’s one of the saddest aspects, as we yearn to have our partner desire us, and when they don’t, we can go searching. For me I’m now over 60, so I am thankful my husband is a good bloke, and we get on like best friends, and I know it could be a lot worse. Do I feel resentful and cross, rejected and hurt at times, I certainly do. I don’t want the stress of a physical affair, and while I may be old, I’m certainly not dead, so I have looked online for someone to fill that gap, and be my oasis. To message daily, enjoy that mind connection, laugh, and share some of those deep, inner thoughts. I guess to feel in a couple in a weird kind of way. I feel for others in a similar situation, desperately wanting to love your partner, and be desired by them, but it's a no go zone. Life certainly delivers some challenges along the way.
Challenges help us grow but damn if they don’t hurt
 
. I can live without sex, but it’s the intimacy I crave. The flirting, comments, touches, exchanged looks, skin on skin cuddles, and knowing someone desires you, which is a strong need for most of us. I feel that’s one of the saddest aspects, as we yearn to have our partner desire us.

That, is where I'm at
 
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