Things I Wouldn’t Touch With Pmann’s Dick

[Lord Pmann]

Well, I’m pmann. So that is my dick referenced in the title. Say hello to my little friend. Wait... not little. Just normal sized.

Now, there are lots of things I might want to touch with my dick. Maybe some very large, heavy breasts. A nice pair of thigh highs. A shop vac. A cool refrigerator shelf on a hot summer day.

But you know what? There are lots of things that I don’t want to touch with mah dick. Some of them move. Some do not. I shall use thread to tell you about them.

The first thing is a kangaroo. Now, you might think they are the most fuckable of all marsupials. WRONG. They are not. These bastards will kick your dick right off. Don’t believe me? Go whip your dick out in front of this guy and see how it does. They’re huge. I swear, I was on a horse once and I saw one. The fucker must’ve been eye level. True story I made up for the purpose of this thread.

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/bVV3FAskDWumlzMwQikb1w--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTc5Ni42ODU0OTkwNTgzODA0/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/c914SVZ_XzKz_M8wXqGCHA--~B/aD02NjE7dz01MzE7c209MTthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/http://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/a79fc5308f215d94e6c9786b7832250b

So, I’m gonna put this badass kangaroo (RIP, Roger) up there as number one on the list of things I don’t want to touch with my dick.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I’ll add the obvious: Trump’s taint.

You’re welcome.

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

 

[PNWKitten]

Lorena Bobbitt

 

[Lord Pmann]

Whoa. You fuckers don’t get to tell me what I’ll touch or not touch with my dick. This is for you to learn. Maybe I want a fivesome with Pelosi, Huckabee Sanders, Lorena and Trump. I will be telling YOU all what I won’t touch.

Also, so you know what I’m working with here (courtesy of THROBBS).

You all may ask, however, if you are curious.

 

[Suz_anne]

Ummmm, the title of this is "Things I Wouldn't Touch With Pmann's Dick"... so the I is me.

And what I wouldn't touch with your dick is.... goddamn fuckwad Hugh Jackman.

*puke*


So, I say every keep posting about Trump's taint and Sarah's snatch. Please.

 

[AlwaysFara]

*squats, using all my strength and both hands, and heaves up Pmann’s dick like a sack of cement and does not touch it to that plugged in and running deli meat slicer over there*

Because I wouldn’t touch your dick to that.

 

[Lord Pmann]

You fuckers have no class. The whole lot of you.

 

[Suz_anne]

I also would not touch Tomi Lahren with Pmann's dick. He might, but not me.


I would, however, touch Keanu Reeves with Pmann's dick. Oh my goodness, he has aged well. I'd rub Pmann's dick all over that.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/46fbdabdc2477630bf26c3edaa37b036/tumblr_pnovjjLplD1u80e8n_540.jpg

 

[catherinewheel77]

https://explainlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/2019-03-23_10-11-32.png
Nutbag Maddow

 

[catherinewheel77]

Or even better...
https://www.mercurynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/AOC-05.jpg?w=525
The intellectual giant that is “AOC”

 

[AlwaysFara]

Or even better...
https://www.mercurynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/AOC-05.jpg?w=525
The intellectual giant that is “AOC”

Fuck. I’d grow a dick and touch her with mine.

 

[catherinewheel77]

You might wanna stuff a ball gag in her mouth first.

 

[PNWKitten]

I also would not touch Tomi Lahren with Pmann's dick. He might, but not me.


I would, however, touch Keanu Reeves with Pmann's dick. Oh my goodness, he has aged well. I'd rub Pmann's dick all over that.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/46fbdabdc2477630bf26c3edaa37b036/tumblr_pnovjjLplD1u80e8n_540.jpg

I volunteer to let Keanu Reeves rub his dick all over me if Pmann refuses.

 

[AlwaysFara]

You might wanna stuff a ball gag in her mouth first.

No, thanks. I’m good.

*pets my newly hatched dick*

 

[hotwords229_A]

From kangaroos to Keanus, a whole lot of political commentary and a title that makes no sense whatsoever based on the intended premise, this thread has covered a lot of ground in a very short time.

However, there's all kinds of stuff I don't want to touch, but if I we're using your penis to touch it then I guess I'd be willing to touch just about anything with it. The conundrum, of course, is that I'd have to touch your penis to touch all the other stuff. Therein lies the brilliance of your question, because I'd be willing to touch all kinds of gross stuff with your penis, but I wouldn't want to touch your penis (no offense, I'm sure it's lovely) therefore your penis is safe from touching unpleasant things.

Thank you for your time.

 

[Taegul]

I wouldn't touch MC Hammer with Pmann's dick because MC Hammer apparently can't be touched.

 

[UgliestSon]

Why do I care what some dude’s junk touches? Go stick your dick in some mashed potatoes. I dont give a fuck.

 

[numeniusa]

Why do I care what some dude’s junk touches? Go stick your dick in some mashed potatoes. I dont give a fuck.

See, there are people reading that thinking "that sounds like fun"...

In fact, as I don't have one of my own, I might stick Pmann's in, just to see how he likes it.

 

[UgliestSon]

See, there are people reading that thinking "that sounds like fun"...

In fact, as I don't have one of my own, I might stick Pmann's in, just to see how he likes it.

Yeah you are probably right but it was the only thing I could of and I believe from a Beastie Boys song.

 

[numeniusa]

Yeah you are probably right but it was the only thing I could of and I believe from a Beastie Boys song.

Well, you have the equipment to test the hypothesis Make sure you use the Goldilocks rule, though

 

[UgliestSon]

Well, you have the equipment to test the hypothesis Make sure you use the Goldilocks rule, though

Lol...No nope no thanks. I only stick my dick in one or two things and it best not be cold.

 

[jaF0]

Wow. I see another one I used to think had a brain has come out as a BB and infested a thread that wasn't really political at first.

Never touch a BB with anything.

 

[numeniusa]

Lol...No nope no thanks. I only stick my dick in one or two things and it best not be cold.

I feel we're digressing from the OP's *coughs* 'thrust' for this thread.

 

[UgliestSon]

I feel we're digressing from the OP's *coughs* 'thrust' for this thread.

No shame in that.