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Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

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Wild_Honey_66 said:
We'd have to start by defining 'everything.'
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I mean, it’s so easy to think that you want to be everything to someone. That we are all that they need. That we alone can fill every need and desire. I just don’t think that is possible. Yet, we can fill needs and desire that no one else can. Is it the sane thing?
 
Smoothshavendad said:
I mean, it’s so easy to think that you want to be everything to someone. That we are all that they need. That we alone can fill every need and desire. I just don’t think that is possible. Yet, we can fill needs and desire that no one else can. Is it the sane thing?
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We can't and shouldn't be everything. It's unhealthy, unrealistic, and as you said, impossible. People need a variety of relationships to be functional and well-rounded.

But we can be every important thing that they need in a partner, which is a vastly different thing. :)
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
We can't and shouldn't be everything. That's not healthy. People need a variety of relationships to be functional and well-rounded.

But we can be every important thing that they need in a partner, which is a vastly different thing. :)
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Very well put. I feel the exact same way. Yet at the same time, I wonder if anyone can ever love me the way I need to be loved. I start to question whether my expectation are unrealistic. Does that make sense?
 
I see "being enough" as not necessarily "everything", but not in a bad way.

I think... I'm enough, he doesn't need anyone else to make him laugh, feel loved, put a smile on his face. That brings me peace of mind.

I compliment those things that make up 'everything' in his life.
 
Smoothshavendad said:
Very well put. I feel the exact same way. Yet at the same time, I wonder if anyone can ever love me the way I need to be loved. I start to question whether my expectation are unrealistic. Does that make sense?
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Yes, it makes sense. You sound like you could use some good feedback from someone with whom you can share the details of your particular situation. Maybe from a qualified counselor or therapist?

barefootgirl69 said:
I see "being enough" as not necessarily "everything", but not in a bad way.

I think... I'm enough, he doesn't need anyone else to make him laugh, feel loved, put a smile on his face. That brings me peace of mind.

I compliment those things that make up 'everything' in his life.
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:heart:
 
Mei5ter said:
I do appreciate the sentiment, but ‘enough’ doesn’t seem very ambitious? How about ‘everything’?
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I’ve spent forever wanting to be everything to people, unsuccessfully, because it’s an unattainable goal. It’s probably not even a healthy one honestly.

The sentiment needs to be for me, as a reminder that I am enough______ for anything.

I am enough, just as I am.
I don’t have to try to be more.
I don’t have to try and fill spaces that I shouldn’t feel a need to fill.
:heart:



cascadiabound said:
I don't want to be everything. I have spent too much time trying to be everything. To do everything. To fix everything. To fulfill everything for someone else.
It is important for me to know that who I am and what I am able to do within healthy boundaries is enough. And that I do not have to be everything to my someone in order to be good enough to be loved. To be worthy.

Enough is a bigger concept than you may give it credit.
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Yes. That’s what I was trying to say!

Wild_Honey_66 said:
I'm glad you jumped in and posted! :) Great conversation starter!
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It really was.
 
LostGirlTink said:
I’ve spent forever wanting to be everything to people, unsuccessfully, because it’s an unattainable goal. It’s probably not even a healthy one honestly.

The sentiment needs to be for me, as a reminder that I am enough______ for anything.

I am enough, just as I am.
I don’t have to try to be more.
I don’t have to try and fill spaces that I shouldn’t feel a need to fill.
:heart:





Yes. That’s what I was trying to say!



It really was.
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I think being enough is everything you need to be!

Being "everything" to someone is a myth, creating unrealistic aspirations for a relationship and imposing harmful expectations on oneself to meet those goals, and fall short.

Being enough for someone seems to me like a beautiful sentiment of acceptance of who each of us are and fostering a dynamic engagement with one another as we change and grow together and separately. It places us in the present, being with one another, rather than constantly trying to be something we aren't and chasing a pipe dream.

Just my 2 cents...
 
Lost_Yonder said:
I think being enough is everything you need to be!

Being "everything" to someone is a myth, creating unrealistic aspirations for a relationship and imposing harmful expectations on oneself to meet those goals, and fall short.

Being enough for someone seems to me like a beautiful sentiment of acceptance of who each of us are and fostering a dynamic engagement with one another as we change and grow together and separately. It places us in the present, being with one another, rather than constantly trying to be something we aren't and chasing a pipe dream.

Just my 2 cents...
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Thank you for adding your 2 cents. The bolded bit is very well put and another excellent angle on the concept of "Enough"
 
The Little Girl and the Elephant

I insisted from the start that I was not a stuffie person. I had a childlike playfulness and innocence about me, sure. But I wasn’t little like that. No stuffies, no littlespace. Cool for other people; it just wasn’t for me. It was more a subtle part of my personality than something I really lived out.

Then one day he asked me what kind of stuffie I’d have, if I had one. He’d known me for nearly three years at that point and had done all sorts of filthy, depraved things to me. And yet, I found myself blushing at the realization that I actually had an answer to this question.

“Come on, little girl. Out with it.”

“An elephant. A big, soft, floppy elephant. With big ears.”

A few weeks later, he came to see me for the first time in over a year. That day, a package arrived, with a big, soft, floppy elephant inside. That night, I slept with my arms around my elephant, and my Daddy’s arms around me.

I slept with Elephant every night after that, even taking him on business trips (Daddy said he’d be lonely at home). And before I fell asleep, I’d send Daddy a picture of me, tucked in tight with Elephant. Once Daddy even told me a bedtime story about a little girl lost in the jungle, and how an elephant rescued her and led her back to her Daddy.

“And the little girl, her Daddy, and the elephant all lived happily ever after.”

“She got to keep the elephant???”

“He couldn’t bear for them to be apart. Not even for a second.”

A few months later, my Daddy left me. I was in New York with him when he ended it, and it hurt so badly I thought I would never stop crying. And Elephant…he was just a reminder that this unbreakable bond had been broken. I almost left him there in a New York hotel room. But I didn’t want to make a decision I’d regret. Besides, my daughter had grown attached to him, and I wasn’t sure how I’d explain his disappearance.

But I couldn’t sleep with him. Not for a long time. When I first got Elephant, my Daddy would tell me to hold him tight and remember that my Daddy loves me. In those first few months, those words echoed back to me every time I saw Elephant. But over time, it started to shift. Because really, this elephant was a secret desire long before my Daddy ever got him for me. He was part of my innermost self. He was a symbol of something I’d been trying to practice since my divorce: radical self-acceptance.

For years, I’d struggled with being too much this or not enough that, trying to shave off parts of myself to be more acceptable to others. I suppressed my playful, little side to be seen as mature and serious. And even when the littleness peeked out, it had never quite felt accepted. I practically wilted when my ex-husband saw me coloring and rolled his eyes. My former Daddy had coaxed my shy little to the surface very gradually over a long period. But it took a long time to accept that my littleness existed outside of him. And more than anyone else, I needed to show it love and acceptance.

Now Elephant sleeps with me in my soft, girly bed in my soft, girly room. And every night, I pull him to my chest and tuck him under my chin to sleep. He is a reminder that being little and soft is okay, because being me is okay. Radical self-acceptance: that is really how the elephant rescues the little girl, even with no Daddy to lead her back to.

essay by @cherishedproperty

this piece of writing resonated with me because 1) I don't generally think of myself as a "stuffie person" either, but...well there may be one deep inside of me too. 2) we all need as much radical self acceptance as we can figure out how to muster for ourselves and this is a great piece of writing for that and 3) symbols and things (like the elephant in this story) sometimes need to be re-envisioned/ repurposed as our lives and relationships change. You can keep something you love and use it as a tool for your own mental health even if it once was deeply associated with someone who is no longer in your life.
 
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cascadiabound said:
this piece of writing resonated with me because 1) I don't generally think of myself as a "stuffie person" either, but...well there may be one deep inside of me too. 2) we all need as much radical self acceptance as we can figure out how to muster for ourselves and this is a great piece of writing for that and 3) symbols and things (like the elephant in this story) sometimes need to be re-envisioned/ repurposed as our lives and relationships change. You can keep something you love and use it as a tool for your own mental health even if it once was deeply associated with someone who is no longer in your life.
Click to expand...

Beautiful :rose:
 
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