Moving on

[Fedora_Hat]

Has anyone ever had extreme difficulty moving on from a dom or submissive?

I released my pet last year when she got her dream job offer in the States. Things in our "everyday" relationship had become fractious at times, but aside from that we had grown stronger than ever (which is a curious juxtaposition of sorts...I've never quite managed to wrap my head around it).

The long and short of it is I don't quite know how to move on, either as a lover or a dominant.

That isn't to say I'm not willing to put in the effort with someone, far from it. But what we had on both sides of things was special in so many ways.

This is a poor ramble, I know. Any advice would be welcome.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

I am not sure how much of this is the Dom/Sub dynamic or whether this is just a human being problem... breakups are hard, even when you both realise it was for the best.

Take care of yourself, take time to process your feelings, get fresh air, good food, all the usual things that tell you, you actually matter - we’re very good at looking after others, sometimes a bit rubbish with ourselves.

Are you still in touch with your ex? Is that stopping you moving on? x

 

[Fedora_Hat]

When I boil it down, I'm really looking at the D/S side of things. I'm pretty self sufficient, my work sees me travel a lot and I have a project I am working on that is kind of benefitting from this kind of solitude.

But I do yearn for...something. I just find I am struggling with the prospect of a new submissive. Again, this not something where I am afraid to put in effort, more that we were so finely tuned.

And yes, we are in contact. Ironically, she is not enjoying life in the US, she is homesick and, I believe, love sick. That said, she has an incredible job which she has worked so hard for. I honestly think she will come back at some point and when she does it will be in a position of public service. But I do not know when that will be.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

When I boil it down, I'm really looking at the D/S side of things. I'm pretty self sufficient, my work sees me travel a lot and I have a project I am working on that is kind of benefitting from this kind of solitude.

But I do yearn for...something. I just find I am struggling with the prospect of a new submissive. Again, this not something where I am afraid to put in effort, more that we were so finely tuned.

And yes, we are in contact. Ironically, she is not enjoying life in the US, she is homesick and, I believe, love sick. That said, she has an incredible job which she has worked so hard for. I honestly think she will come back at some point and when she does it will be in a position of public service. But I do not know when that will be.

Don’t put your life on hold in the hope she does come back... life is short...

Are you looking for a girlfriend and sub, or just a sub? You mentioned the everyday relationship being fractious - that feels like the more important side to me... the other side can be worked through if you are both willing.

Good luck, you probably need to get back out there - lit is a glorious playground but I doubt many find real life connections here...