Stories that appeal to women

[LargoKitt]

I am working on a story, more than one actually, that I hope will ring the chimes of women readers. I am following several self imposed guidelines:

Tease - that is, develop the relationships slowly, with some stops and starts.
Avoid the cliché terms in the sex scenes.
Lots of dialogue.
Some risky romance
Make sex about how people feel.

I would love some suggestions from women authors about what they like to see or would love to see and have never seen in erotic writing. I set Anaïs Nin as my gold standard. But perhaps many of today's women prefer a "Come here and bang me" ethos.

BTW, I personally don't get much of a kick out of BDSM or dominant/submissive fantasies. Kinky doesn't make it more exciting, although I enjoy exploring the range of sexuality.

Hints? Helps?

 

[KeithD]

Well, good.

Conversely, I'll just sit and enjoy spontaneously writing out what my mind is providing. And categorize it after it's written.

And I don't give much thought to what others are writing or whether I would like it or not. But chances are I'll get today's story written today and I can do it again tomorrow.

 

[SimonDoom]

I am working on a story, more than one actually, that I hope will ring the chimes of women readers. I am following several self imposed guidelines:

Tease - that is, develop the relationships slowly, with some stops and starts.
Avoid the cliché terms in the sex scenes.
Lots of dialogue.
Some risky romance
Make sex about how people feel.

I would love some suggestions from women authors about what they like to see or would love to see and have never seen in erotic writing. I set Anaïs Nin as my gold standard. But perhaps many of today's women prefer a "Come here and bang me" ethos.

BTW, I personally don't get much of a kick out of BDSM or dominant/submissive fantasies. Kinky doesn't make it more exciting, although I enjoy exploring the range of sexuality.

Hints? Helps?

I'm not a woman. But my impression, based upon reactions I've gotten to my stories and things I've read here, is that you have to be careful about assuming what a "woman reader" wants. I think it probably is mildly true that women readers of erotica, on average, want the things you list above more than male readers. But there are plenty of women readers who do like the "bang me hard and fast" sex stories, every bit as much as the male readers do.

I would say, too, that (1) adding more dialogue, (2) emphasizing the characters' feelings, and (3) using fewer cliches, are universal ingredients to making a better story, period, and not just one that appeals more to women. The more you do these three things, the more likely you are to write a better story.

I think the trick as a heterosexual male writer writing about women characters in erotica -- and I say this as someone who struggles with this -- is to try hard to avoid writing your female characters as projections of your own kinks and fetishes. You have to get outside yourself and imagine their own motivations apart from your own. That said, female motivations run the gamut, so any generalization you make is just a generalization.

My suggestion is to go ahead and write your story, with an eye toward trying to make the characters authentic, and only after the first draft is done go back and consider the issue of how it will look to women readers.

 

[Athalia]

I am working on a story, more than one actually, that I hope will ring the chimes of women readers. I am following several self imposed guidelines:

Tease - that is, develop the relationships slowly, with some stops and starts.
Avoid the cliché terms in the sex scenes.
Lots of dialogue.
Some risky romance
Make sex about how people feel.

I think you're on the right track, although my often contain hardly any dialogue or "risky" (risque?) romance. My feeling is that if you make the character believable as a person, stressing not their sexuality but their view of the world, you're more than half-way there, and you can then "flesh it out" with sex as it proceeds from the circumstances in which the MC finds herself.

And, for God's sake, when you're describing a woman's form or a man's endowments, please leave the tape measure at home.

 

[KeithD]

I'm not a woman. But my impression, based upon reactions I've gotten to my stories and things I've read here, is that you have to be careful about assuming what a "woman reader" wants.

After I'd seen on the basis of comments on my gay male stories that a high percentage of those commenting favorably claimed to be women, I stopped worrying about not worrying about what this solitary universal "woman" wanted to read.

 

[Kantarii]

As a transvestite, I project my main character as a woman. My formula has always been to create believable characters, put them in real world situations, and convey the emotions they feel. I don’t “target” a specific gender with my stories because a good story is going to attract an audience - male or female.
Kant

 

[Charmolypi]

try hard to avoid writing your female characters as projections of your own kinks and fetishes. You have to get outside yourself and imagine their own motivations apart from your own.

This is solid advice. A tell for a male writer struggling with writing female characters is a character written too simplisticly and lacking in natural motivations to advance her goals and motivations. Think of the trope of the woman who senses danger, or should be able to sense that danger, and stupidly goes ahead into anyway. “Gee this alley looks dark and dangerous. Whoop-de-doo, off I go anyway!”. Authors like this aren’t writing women, they are writing fantasy about the object called woman.

Female characters who are too porno stereotypical in their looks are a tell as well. Blonde, check. DD breasts, check. Pouty lips, check. Zero body fat and aged to a ripe old 19, check. All the author left out was where the port for the air compressor is to inflate her.

Also the sexy lamp test. If the dialogue and plot is so thin for this character that a sexy lamp could stand her her place and the story still works, it’s badly written.

As for types of sexual content that appeal to women... there’s so much variety from woman to woman and over time. Imagining women like BDSM or rough sex to the general exclusion of other things is biting into the 50 Shades hype. Women like all types of things. But they rarely like being written down too. That’s what I’d focus on to boost your female readership.

 

[KenNicottii]

Good advice: write the story first. Then if you are lucky, you could find a female editor to help with any problem areas. Sure, you never really know if some dude is pretending to be a woman, but that’s the Internet for you.

Pro Tip: (Most) women don’t find it sexy when a man gets cum in her hair, as I’ve been informed by my female editors. Remember the scene in the film Leaving Las Vegas when the prostitute (Elisabeth Shue) informs her john (Nicolas Cage) of her limits?

‘You can fuck me in the ass. You can cum on my face. Just keep it out of my hair. I just washed it.’

 

[Jada59]

I'm a woman. Maybe an atypical woman but if I am understanding what you wrote correctly, that sort of story is not one I'd like to read. Give me sex! Lots of sex. Sure you can mention what the characters are feeling while having sex or even leading up to it or after. As in physical feelings. I don't like slow moving stories, a lot of emotion in a sex story or even a lot of details. Feel free to read one of mine to see what I like.

 

[Jada59]

Good advice: write the story first. Then if you are lucky, you could find a female editor to help with any problem areas. Sure, you never really know if some dude is pretending to be a woman, but that’s the Internet for you.

Pro Tip: (Most) women don’t find it sexy when a man gets cum in her hair, as I’ve been informed by my female editors. Remember the scene in the film Leaving Las Vegas when the prostitute (Elisabeth Shue) informs her john (Nicolas Cage) of her limits?

‘You can fuck me in the ass. You can cum on my face. Just keep it out of my hair. I just washed it.’

That actually doesn't bother me but I can think of other places where I'd rather it land.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm a woman. Maybe an atypical woman but if I am understanding what you wrote correctly, that sort of story is not one I'd like to read. Give me sex! Lots of sex. Sure you can mention what the characters are feeling while having sex or even leading up to it or after. As in physical feelings. I don't like slow moving stories, a lot of emotion in a sex story or even a lot of details. Feel free to read one of mine to see what I like.

No one thinks they are typical, and they are all right! My preferences are almost diametrically opposite yours. In both writing and reading, I am far more interested in the set up than the delivery regarding sex scenes.So the question is impossible to answer.

I can speak for myself, that I generally agree with the OP's guidelines. I would bear in mind, however, that "how people feel" does not mean that female characters should be all about the emotions and not about the physicality.

Look, just write women who come off as real people and you'll do fine.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Good advice: write the story first. Then if you are lucky, you could find a female editor to help with any problem areas. Sure, you never really know if some dude is pretending to be a woman, but that’s the Internet for you.

Pro Tip: (Most) women don’t find it sexy when a man gets cum in her hair, as I’ve been informed by my female editors. Remember the scene in the film Leaving Las Vegas when the prostitute (Elisabeth Shue) informs her john (Nicolas Cage) of her limits?

‘You can fuck me in the ass. You can cum on my face. Just keep it out of my hair. I just washed it.’

Try to keep it out of her eyes as well, please.

 

[Sara2000Z]

I would say .. it's a question of writing characters that have more depth to them than just the desire to get it on. What are they interested in, turned on by? Green eyes? Beating the hell out of someone at Scrabble? Finding out what golden syrup will taste like off of his/her chest? Hiking in the wilderness with a stranger for two days as an experiment in loosening up their lives?
Do you want the story to proceed as if everything is just fairy-tale perfect? Or has moments that are awkward, embarrassing, life-threatening? How would your golden syrup loving, hiking newbie respond to the situations you want to put him/her into?
Is it going to be about finding out something new about themselves or are they treading a familiar path but with lots of good energy? Is it going to be hot and fast? Slow and sweet?
I guess I'm saying that there are more interesting questions to begin with than whether the story will appeal to female readers or not, since they come in such variety it's going to be hard for you to pin it down. Better (maybe, since this is just opinion, not science) to think about what you want to write differently, and why. Start from there. Then create some aspects of the characters whose story you want to tell. Make up a situation, or some situations, you want to put them in, and see what it reveals about them - bearing in mind the reveal is going in your readers' minds, so they need clues in the writing to follow.
hope that's useful
Sara

 

[Maeven_quinn]

I would say, too, that (1) adding more dialogue, (2) emphasizing the characters' feelings, and (3) using fewer cliches, are universal ingredients to making a better story, period, and not just one that appeals more to women. The more you do these three things, the more likely you are to write a better story.

Yeah pretty much this. If someone writes sex, and concentrates on making sure the people are having it are characters not props than that's already halfway there.

I do think there are some erotica archetypes and kinks that appeal more to heterosexual women than heterosexual men and vice versa, but even then it's not like every woman loves the rough cop who needs a tender touch cliche.

There was some demographic research on Lit Erotica that divided kinks up by age and gender. I can't seem to find it in my last google run though.

 

[Hypoxia]

Are your plots and characters as stereotypical as you expect readers to be?

 

[MelissaBaby]

Yeah pretty much this. If someone writes sex, and concentrates on making sure the people are having it are characters not props than that's already halfway there.

I think a lot of writers are so focused on the kinks or activities they find appealing that they don't need characters that are more than props. If that's the intent, and that has appeal to their readers, more power to them.

But, generally speaking, women are less likely than men to be turned on by particular fetishized objects or acts. Men seem to usually think of sex as action, things that you do, while women are more likely to think of sex as a state that you enter into.

That is a rough generalization, of course. I write about relationships.I could remove the explicit sex without making any substantial change to the story. I consider it spice, not the meal. And yet, I do get very good response from male and well as female readers.

 

[NotWise]

But, generally speaking, women are less likely than men to be turned on by particular fetishized objects or acts. Men seem to usually think of sex as action, things that you do, while women are more likely to think of sex as a state that you enter into.

What an excellent (and useful) way of putting it!

Of course, it can't be completely true, but how many things can you say about half the population that won't be wrong about a large part of them?

 

[SimonDoom]

I think a lot of writers are so focused on the kinks or activities they find appealing that they don't need characters that are more than props. If that's the intent, and that has appeal to their readers, more power to them.

But, generally speaking, women are less likely than men to be turned on by particular fetishized objects or acts. Men seem to usually think of sex as action, things that you do, while women are more likely to think of sex as a state that you enter into.

That is a rough generalization, of course. I write about relationships.I could remove the explicit sex without making any substantial change to the story. I consider it spice, not the meal. And yet, I do get very good response from male and well as female readers.

This is an interesting observation. I would describe my stories as the opposite: if you take the sex out, the meat of the story is gone. There's nothing left. I like writing with an emphasis on the sex (or whatever aspect of sex, etc. is the focus of the story), because for me personally, that's what erotica is, but writing with this focus entails the risk that characters get short shrift. I have to be on guard against that and I'm not always as successful at it as I'd like to be.

 

[MelissaBaby]

What an excellent (and useful) way of putting it!

Of course, it can't be completely true, but how many things can you say about half the population that won't be wrong about a large part of them?

Yes, I was careful to parse it. I like to think I'm unique, I gladly think it of others.

I think the psychological differences arise from the physical differences. It seems natural that men, unfortunately stuck with their "one and done" orgasms, would focus more on what gets them to that point. Women, whose arousal and satisfaction are less clearly expressed physically, put more emphasis on the emotional aspects of sexuality than the action.

Anyway, it's a theory.

 

[KeithD]

I've been posting for years that I think men, in general, are "event" and women, in general, are "process," and therein lies the rub.

 

[NotWise]

Anyway, it's a theory.

Good as any I know of.

Before I started publishing stories on Lit and for a few months afterwards, writing in ways that would be appealing to women was one of my goals, just as for the thread originator. I looked for blogs and surveys that addressed the questions anywhere I could find them.

After awhile I came to two relevant conclusions: female readers on Lit have already expressed an interest in explicit erotica simply by reading here, and that probably makes them unrepresentative of the female population at large; and even within the selected population of female readers on Lit, there is a large variation in what they want or even find acceptable.

Eventually, I decided that writing a good, complete story was my best approach. By "complete", I mean a story that has character, location, conflict, plot and resolution. In that context, sex arises from the characters; it's something natural for them to be doing when and how they do it.

MB's description, "Men seem to usually think of sex as action, things that you do, while women are more likely to think of sex as a state that you enter into," fits perfectly into making sex arise naturally from the characters.

My stories typically start with their lowest score, and the score builds as the votes pile up. I think that pattern is a consequence of my decision. A lot of readers -- especially early readers -- don't want to be bothered by the story. They want the sex.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I've been posting for years that I think men, in general, are "event" and women, in general, are "process," and therein lies the rub.

Well, I haven't been reading you for years, but I agree.

 

[oggbashan]

I don't write for men, or for women.

I write for readers who are people. Many won't like my stories. Some will but what sex they say they are doesn't matter to me, just their appreciation.

Edited to add:

Self-proclaimed 'Real Men' don't seem to like my stories.

 

[NotWise]

Self-proclaimed 'Real Men' don't seem to like my stories.

Hey, as long as the puffin is happy, what difference does it make?

 

[FEELINGLUCKYPUNK]

My latest effort involves an amateur boxer and a married slut who samples all kinds of men before she falls for crack coaine and dies of an overdose. I'm interested in boxing and addiction than the Hokey Pokey.

John OHara wrote the best sex scenes, and they hardly exist, here is one of mine:

"She pulled her wedding band off and dropped it into her bag, then she climbed atop the mattress. Minutes later she got off the bed, put her wedding bed back on her finger, and saud NOW I'M MARRIED AGAIN. I HOPE YOURE NOT LOOKING FOR ROMANCE. WANNA BE MY NEXT BEST FRIEND, WITH BENEFITS? "