Post baseless lies about the person above you - Version Three

[rlaflamme]

Take 2 minutes to make minute rice

Refuses to eat rice with chopsticks, stating it is just unnatural

 

[Gamine67]

Tapes mirrors to his shoes and rides elevators at the U.N.

 

[ashik09]

Take 2 minutes to make minute rice

Takes ten minutes to cook five-minute macaroni. They want it SOFT!

 

[rlaflamme]

Tapes mirrors to his shoes and rides elevators at the U.N.

Wraps her tires in barbed wire for more traction

 

[rlaflamme]

Takes ten minutes to cook five-minute macaroni. They want it SOFT!

Believes the sun is a dark hole

 

[Tenderkiss]

Takes ten minutes to cook five-minute macaroni. They want it SOFT!

As an Italian, those a damn fighting words. NEVER does pasta get cooked soft. Al dente.

 

[rlaflamme]

As an Italian, those a damn fighting words. NEVER does pasta get cooked soft. Al dente.

Runs around with sharp objects.

 

[Gamine67]

Prefers periwinkle undies beneath his codpiece.

 

[rlaflamme]

Prefers periwinkle undies beneath his codpiece.

Draws chalk outlines in front of stores

 

[Gamine67]

Never completed the first chapter of the Ox Bow Inicident.

 

[rlaflamme]

Never completed the first chapter of the Ox Bow Inicident.

Uses a stick to lift kilts anytime she sees someone wearing one.

 

[Gamine67]

Didn’t realize ‘strangling the pipes’ is not a literal request.

 

[MattWolf]

Didn’t realize ‘strangling the pipes’ is not a literal request.

Once crashed a mobility scooter into a river while driving under the influence of heavy laxitives.

 

[ashik09]

Once crashed a mobility scooter into a river while driving under the influence of heavy laxitives.

Wanted to be a Surfin' Bird, but the slightly doddering old lady at the costume shop only head, "Sir Bird."

 

[Tenderkiss]

Is really the other purple dinosaur in disguise.

 

[rlaflamme]

Is really the other purple dinosaur in disguise.

Tents out of Walmart for three days every black Friday.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Tents out of Walmart for three days every black Friday.

Has a complete collection of rare collectible big toe molds of famous porn stars.

 

[Tenderkiss]

Is not easily turned on.

 

[MattWolf]

Is not easily turned on.

Can't get turned on at all except by 'political porn'

 

[rlaflamme]

Can't get turned on at all except by 'political pirn'

Only eats pigeons

 

[sweetheart97]

Can't get turned on at all except by 'political pirn'

Can't tap dance to save his lifr.

 

[sweetheart97]

Only eats pigeons

Prefers shitty beer over craft beer.

 

[rlaflamme]

Can't tap dance to save his lifr.

Dreams of living in the clouds.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Can't tie his shoe laces

 

[Tenderkiss]

Wants all your nudes