Conversation

[Froya]

This can be difficult, knowing what to pick as a starting topic and where to go from there.
I personally want it to go deeper but not always as easy to do, it involves some vulnorability and opening up.

Why not just choose the reason you've chosen to write as the opening topic? That's usually what I go with, and sometimes that does mean a little vulnerability. If I don't have anything I want to talk to them about or get to know better, there's no reason to write them.

 

[Froya]

I PM’d glad because he responded to my post in this thread, and we PM’d back and forth that same day, talking about everything. We just cliqued.

Then the following day—we hooked up for the entire day in the *answer the fuck-in question* thread. That helped us get to know each other better, faster.

Now we’re good friends who never run out of shit to talk about. I even let him into my skype, which I hardly ever do.

Threads like that can be a fun way to get to know someone if both people like doing it. There's definitely more than one way to find a connection with someone.

PMing someone based on something they've posted has always been my method.

 

[The_gladiator]

Why not just choose the reason you've chosen to write as the opening topic? That's usually what I go with, and sometimes that does mean a little vulnerability. If I don't have anything I want to talk to them about or get to know better, there's no reason to write them.

That's a good point and I'd say often that's pretty obvious like for me in the srp section. Sometimes I don't have as clear cut a reason like what is it that attracted me to them. Maybe that calls for more inner reflection prior to sending that pm. "If you don't have anything intelligent to say, don't say anything at all?" Lol

 

[The_gladiator]

I PM’d glad because he responded to my post in this thread, and we PM’d back and forth that same day, talking about everything. We just cliqued.

Then the following day—we hooked up for the entire day in the *answer the fuck-in question* thread. That helped us get to know each other better, faster.

Now we’re good friends who never run out of shit to talk about. I even let him into my skype, which I hardly ever do.

Sometimes threads are a good way to get to know people I've certainly seen answers to some people's that have made me want to reach out. I rarely get frequent interaction with the same person like we did that day.

There are so many ways to get to know one another. I've gotten to know many in the cina pearl inn in the srp lounge. Sometimes talking for a long time in there before I ever pmed them.

 

[rlaflamme]

Such great advice and thoughts about conversation on here! And to know there have been connections made through this thread is really cool

I find myself in loops, like I will have a decent conversation for a bit, then nothing, then it comes back. I have a couple that have the continuation of the conversation come in a few days as they are not frequent site visitors. And, of course, I have the quick hello and never hear from them again messages.

I like seeing something in my box, it makes me smile, even if it is something I don't think will lead into a long tern conversation, it is something. I think receiving a message is a feel good moment. Of course that feel good moment can be killed by a lude or rude message lol, but still, it can make someone smile just receiving one.

 

[Reed8]

Curious.. why do you say you're the worst when it comes to PM conversation? Is that in relation to what you're saying here about becoming jaded?

I just don't think I am capable of reading between the lines. Because of the medium that is used, I may miss inferences or subtleties that other people have an easier time picking up on. This will make me wonder about myself and the things I am saying. It makes me guarded. This is why I said it was hard to be true. This solidifies when I am talking with someone for a length of time and think it is going very well. Then out of the blue they just disappear from the conversation. I can't help but think it was something I said. I guess I have some narcissistic issues to iron out. I'm personally not jaded but I imagine that other people's expectations of what I am suppose to be are far from being realized for them.

 

[rlaflamme]

I just don't think I am capable of reading between the lines. Because of the medium that is used, I may miss inferences or subtleties that other people have an easier time picking up on. This will make me wonder about myself and the things I am saying. It makes me guarded. This is why I said it was hard to be true. This solidifies when I am talking with someone for a length of time and think it is going very well. Then out of the blue they just disappear from the conversation. I can't help but think it was something I said. I guess I have some narcissistic issues to iron out. I'm personally not jaded but I imagine that other people's expectations of what I am suppose to be are far from being realized for them.

People come and go here like a revolving door. Some seek things and then give up on them regardless of whether they have found a decent conversation or not. And people stop talking because they don't know what to say anymore or they feel they have gone to deep.

I have always had the thought process of if you have a conversation here that lasts more than a week you are lucky as most last a day or two, maybe less, like 3 or 4 exchanges. It is easy to blame ourselves for a conversation lost or to question what we did wrong, where in actuality it was probably nothing unless you are one that starts with telling them what you would do to them lol.

Carry on nd take the good with the bad. When I start a conversation I rarely expect it to carry on for a length of time, I hope it does, but I do not expect it to.

 

[The_gladiator]

People come and go here like a revolving door. Some seek things and then give up on them regardless of whether they have found a decent conversation or not. And people stop talking because they don't know what to say anymore or they feel they have gone to deep.

I have always had the thought process of if you have a conversation here that lasts more than a week you are lucky as most last a day or two, maybe less, like 3 or 4 exchanges. It is easy to blame ourselves for a conversation lost or to question what we did wrong, where in actuality it was probably nothing unless you are one that starts with telling them what you would do to them lol.

Carry on nd take the good with the bad. When I start a conversation I rarely expect it to carry on for a length of time, I hope it does, but I do not expect it to.

It's curious how sometimes that works. I will have conversations with people that go really deep and there's connection. Might exchange 100 pms in a day and then for some reason they stop, sometimes it's real life. I've gone back to clean out my pm inbox and had 100 pms from someone that I don't even remember the name of. Now usually I can go into the conversation and remember it. But I guess I've gotten used to the revolving door that is lit. Sometimes I think that's a defense mechanism to not be too shook up when they vanish.

 

[Stevew0073]

Sometimes threads are a good way to get to know people I've certainly seen answers to some people's that have made me want to reach out. I rarely get frequent interaction with the same person like we did that day.

There are so many ways to get to know one another. I've gotten to know many in the cina pearl inn in the srp lounge. Sometimes talking for a long time in there before I ever pmed them.

I agree I don’t pm very often. Maybe because I like th lady to take control and I know often there will be no response from a random PM. But a little action or comment by a lady may make me take notice and after a while get the currage to reach out.

 

[The_gladiator]

I agree I don’t pm very often. Maybe because I like th lady to take control and I know often there will be no response from a random PM. But a little action or comment by a lady may make me take notice and after a while get the currage to reach out.

Sme people just come across as more open to pm, though with others you never know till you try

 

[Stevew0073]

It's curious how sometimes that works. I will have conversations with people that go really deep and there's connection. Might exchange 100 pms in a day and then for some reason they stop, sometimes it's real life. I've gone back to clean out my pm inbox and had 100 pms from someone that I don't even remember the name of. Now usually I can go into the conversation and remember it. But I guess I've gotten used to the revolving door that is lit. Sometimes I think that's a defense mechanism to not be too shook up when they vanish.

I find my self when I do get to pm with someone here I check back often hope they have written me back.

 

[The_gladiator]

I find my self when I do get to pm with someone here I check back often hope they have written me back.

I can agree with this. I will admit to getting very excited and obsessively refresh the page. I just love getting to know new people, and conversing with those I've known a long time too.

 

[rlaflamme]

I can agree with this. I will admit to getting very excited and obsessively refresh the page. I just love getting to know new people, and conversing with those I've known a long time too.

I know the feeling, just getting excited for the next message to roll in. Meeting new people and getting know them is awesome. And then the ones you have a continued conversation with make it even better.

 

[The_gladiator]

I know the feeling, just getting excited for the next message to roll in. Meeting new people and getting know them is awesome. And then the ones you have a continued conversation with make it even better.

Makes you feel like a kid with their first crush, sometimes at least for me haha.

 

[rlaflamme]

Makes you feel like a kid with their first crush, sometimes at least for me haha.

lol, that is so true. Getting all giddy and happy as you wait.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

Maybe you should try to keep busy while you wait
For the responses you desire. Refreshing the
Page won't make them come any faster.

Go work out or something. Read a book.
Take care of yourself first. The responses
Will still be there for you.

 

[Froya]

I just don't think I am capable of reading between the lines. Because of the medium that is used, I may miss inferences or subtleties that other people have an easier time picking up on. This will make me wonder about myself and the things I am saying. It makes me guarded. This is why I said it was hard to be true. This solidifies when I am talking with someone for a length of time and think it is going very well. Then out of the blue they just disappear from the conversation. I can't help but think it was something I said. I guess I have some narcissistic issues to iron out. I'm personally not jaded but I imagine that other people's expectations of what I am suppose to be are far from being realized for them.

I understand, and it can be difficult to get a read on people, since they aren't very forthright, and many will tell you what they think you want to hear so they can keep your interest. And, you're right, sometimes they just... stop. It's only human to wonder if it was something you said.

I think that people can go into a new interaction wanting something specific from a person they don't even know.

It can sting when someone just moves on, but in the end, I just tell myself that if they don't know how to tell me the reason, then it wasn't about me. I can't address a situation that I haven't been made aware of.

 

[Froya]

Makes you feel like a kid with their first crush, sometimes at least for me haha.

It's true. Getting to know someone new that you click with is very much a crush.

 

[Reed8]

I understand, and it can be difficult to get a read on people, since they aren't very forthright, and many will tell you what they think you want to hear so they can keep your interest. And, you're right, sometimes they just... stop. It's only human to wonder if it was something you said.

I think that people can go into a new interaction wanting something specific from a person they don't even know.

It can sting when someone just moves on, but in the end, I just tell myself that if they don't know how to tell me the reason, then it wasn't about me. I can't address a situation that I haven't been made aware of.

Well said. It gives me a perspective that I did not consider on a rational level. Not knowing how to tell the reason is a simple and probably very true explanation. I suppose keeping it simple is a great attitude to adopt.

I come to a conversation presupposed to the fact that most people will only reveal the things they want you to know about them. I'm okay with that. It's only fair for me to realize that the onion has many layers. I'm also aware that some use sites like this to express an alter ego that they cannot pull off in their everyday lives.

 

[The_gladiator]

Well said. It gives me a perspective that I did not consider on a rational level. Not knowing how to tell the reason is a simple and probably very true explanation. I suppose keeping it simple is a great attitude to adopt.

I come to a conversation presupposed to the fact that most people will only reveal the things they want you to know about them. I'm okay with that. It's only fair for me to realize that the onion has many layers. I'm also aware that some use sites like this to express an alter ego that they cannot pull off in their everyday lives.

I come across as more thoughtful and less impulsive here on lit, and I think about my words more often here than I might in person, so mybe less an alter ego for me but at times an idealized version of me. Sometimes it allows me to practice ways of being that I'd love to have in my real life.

 

[The_gladiator]

It's true. Getting to know someone new that you click with is very much a crush.

This is so true for me, it's a feeling that I adore.

 

[Froya]

Well said. It gives me a perspective that I did not consider on a rational level. Not knowing how to tell the reason is a simple and probably very true explanation. I suppose keeping it simple is a great attitude to adopt.

I come to a conversation presupposed to the fact that most people will only reveal the things they want you to know about them. I'm okay with that. It's only fair for me to realize that the onion has many layers. I'm also aware that some use sites like this to express an alter ego that they cannot pull off in their everyday lives.

That is very true. People put forward what they choose to, so all you can really do is take or leave what they show you of themselves. We naturally try to fill in the blanks of the stuff we don't know, as well. That's true here and out in the world. People are often a combination of who they are, or are telling us the are, and who we want them to be in our heads.

There was a time when I was more easily caught up into making connections that would abruptly end in disappointment or heartache. I can't say I'm immune to that now. I'm just more careful about who I interact with and how.

This is so true for me, it's a feeling that I adore.

I think that's why so many of us keep coming back for more.

 

[The_gladiator]

That is very true. People put forward what they choose to, so all you can really do is take or leave what they show you of themselves. We naturally try to fill in the blanks of the stuff we don't know, as well. That's true here and out in the world. People are often a combination of who they are, or are telling us the are, and who we want them to be in our heads.

There was a time when I was more easily caught up into making connections that would abruptly end in disappointment or heartache. I can't say I'm immune to that now. I'm just more careful about who I interact with and how.




I think that's why so many of us keep coming back for more.

It's nice to feel wanted, to feel that rush of someone new. And then if that someone new turns into someone special in your life, so much the better, but evenif it doesn't there is still that momentary rush you can look back on.

 

[Froya]

It's nice to feel wanted, to feel that rush of someone new. And then if that someone new turns into someone special in your life, so much the better, but evenif it doesn't there is still that momentary rush you can look back on.

That giddy feeling of clicking with someone new is lovely. I really enjoy the process of getting to know someone, and that can take a while, so while it's not quite the same giddiness as that first blush of meeting and connecting, there is some measure of that whenever they reveal something new about themselves, whether it's a fun little quirk or something that deepens the level of trust and openness you're building. That little buzz can last weeks, months, even longer if they do turn into something special and the relationship continues to progress.

 

[The_gladiator]

That giddy feeling of clicking with someone new is lovely. I really enjoy the process of getting to know someone, and that can take a while, so while it's not quite the same giddiness as that first blush of meeting and connecting, there is some measure of that whenever they reveal something new about themselves, whether it's a fun little quirk or something that deepens the level of trust and openness you're building. That little buzz can last weeks, months, even longer if they do turn into something special and the relationship continues to progress.

Yes, this, all of this... I agree. Each new fact opens them up a little more, like a delicate flower blooming.