Conversation

[The_gladiator]

If you receive a message do you try to reply, even if it is something stating you are not interested?

I do, but I don't get like 20 unsolicited pms a day... probably 20 or so ever that were unsolicited.

 

[rlaflamme]

If someone messages you listing their kinks and what they will do to you are you more likely to give a snide reply, goof around back, ignore it, or is there a different approach you use?

 

[rlaflamme]

It's a quiet day and the wind is blowing at my windows to much. I hope everyone is having a decent day anyway

 

[rlaflamme]

I had a conversation the other day with someone talking about.... conversation of course. And the question that kept bouncing around was how long an average conversation typically lasts on this site. I know that I have people on this thread who have had conversations that have lasted years, but what is the average?

From what I have gathered so far it seems that most conversation through this site seem to die out in about a week, but that is no way an accurate average as it is just my assessment. What do you think?

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

I had a conversation the other day with someone talking about.... conversation of course. And the question that kept bouncing around was how long an average conversation typically lasts on this site. I know that I have people on this thread who have had conversations that have lasted years, but what is the average?

From what I have gathered so far it seems that most conversation through this site seem to die out in about a week, but that is no way an accurate average as it is just my assessment. What do you think?

I would agree, about a week and then it gets strained. We all are here for one thing or another and most of us want something at least mildly sexual. Conversation I'd great, but I've had only a few last much longer than a week. I think men have it a bit harder, the competition is heavier for us lol. It also sometimes is hard to get the right intention across, I try to balance between being polite and informing of any intentions I have. I don't message everyone with a hope of something and sometimes I don't expect an response but I send a message anyway.

 

[rlaflamme]

Do you find yourself worrying about people you have had decent conversations with when you do not hear from them in some time? Or do you begin to question yourself for the reason why the conversation seemed to end? Like, what did you do wrong? What did you say? What could you do to better the next conversation?

 

[LadyElsbeth]

Do you find yourself worrying about people you have had decent conversations with when you do not hear from them in some time? Or do you begin to question yourself for the reason why the conversation seemed to end? Like, what did you do wrong? What did you say? What could you do to better the next conversation?

I think it is human nature to wonder what went wrong or if you said/did anything to upset them, especially if you are someone who is naturally a people pleaser. I never really understood ghosting someone. If you don't mesh with them, tell them in a polite way. It may hurt for a second but it's like a band-aid.....just get it over with and the pain is of but a moment.

That being said, I have found that the older I get I realize that someone not liking you is more a reflection on them than on you. All you can do is be yourself and if that is not good enough for someone then it is definitely not your loss.

We all feel lonely, no matter who we are in this world. Try and treat other people the way you want to be treated yourself and you will not go amiss.

But if you see that your person disappears entirely (on threads, etc), then yes I do worry. The true risk of these transient online relationships is not knowing if tragedy has struck the person you may have come to care for. It sucks, the not knowing.

 

[The_gladiator]

I post a lot in the 3 word before, during, and after sex threads, so yeah I get PM’s [not a lot] with the subject line: suck your tits, or lick your clit. lol I’m not offended by it. This is a sex site. How I respond depends on the mood I’m in. Sometimes I’ll just PM back in a joking way. Other times I’ll let the guy get into his fantasy with a couple PM exchanges. It usually doesn’t take long. If they want to get into a fantasy game, then I will take control by creating the fantasy with pictures from the internet, and words, but over the course of a few days, even a week. I enjoy prolonging the pleasure. I know some guys are using those threads to help them get off, and so what? Everybody is different and we all have needs. It gives me pleasure too. I enjoy creating a good sexual fantasy. I joined Lit to expand my mind, and sexuality. Plus I’m a giver, I like to keep everybody happy. Libra. lol

I never let a guy push me into something I don’t want to do, and they sometimes try, and try again. Even though there are way more men than women here, I believe women hold the power. I just approach it that way, and it works for me. My inbox is mine. I make the rules, and I can’t tell you how many guys have told me they love that I know exactly what I want, don’t want. Right now my PM’s are closed, because sometimes quiet time is needed.

I really like this message, it really shows a way of being that I like I enjoy when people know what they want and healthy boundaries are good.

 

[rlaflamme]

This being an erotic site sets up conversations to be, well, about sex. However, do you find yourself looking for a simple conversation, just about life in general. One that is for comfort? Is a search for conversation more about having a bit of company than about the sex?

Short term conversations seem to be about sexual desires, while long term ones seem to be about more than that, is this true for you as well?

 

[The_gladiator]

This being an erotic site sets up conversations to be, well, about sex. However, do you find yourself looking for a simple conversation, just about life in general. One that is for comfort? Is a search for conversation more about having a bit of company than about the sex?

Short term conversations seem to be about sexual desires, while long term ones seem to be about more than that, is this true for you as well?

I find that sex tends to be a gateway on this site more often than not, and often through sexual attraction connection in other ares can be found, and is this not similar to how things happen in the "real world" you see someone who you think is attractive and you walk up to them and start a conversation to see if you have something in common more than you just think they're hot... now you don't usually walk up to someone in a bar and say can I suck your tits, but this is the internet things work a bit different... just an example, I have never begun a conversation here or otherwise with can I suck your tits haha.

But yes I crave connection, as sexual of a being I am I still want a deeper connection. I'm an extrovert with very few real life friends so yes sometimes I'm seeking companionship or conversation beyond sex, though sex is one of my favorite topics. That's a good way to think about it for me it's a favorite subject not the only subject I'm passionate about.... ask me about rock music sometime, just be prepared to listen to an ear ful haha.

 

[Sherilyn66]

Personally, I enjoy talking with just about anyone. If there isn't any level of respect there, I will send a message saying basically, thanks but no thanks. I have had some chats that have turned into friendships, most with benefits, and a few have lasted almost as long as I've been on Lit.

Intelligence and an odd sense of humor go a very long way with me, and it's stuff like that catches my attention faster than anything. I'll look at past posts, just to get a better idea about someone.

I've really enjoyed taking in all of the wit and wisdom laced throughout your thread, and will continue to keep up with it for as long as it lasts.

Y'all have a great day!

 

[Midwest50Guy]

Personally, I enjoy talking with just about anyone. If there isn't any level of respect there, I will send a message saying basically, thanks but no thanks. I have had some chats that have turned into friendships, most with benefits, and a few have lasted almost as long as I've been on Lit.

I give you credit for saying no thanks. My experience seems to be more ghosting than anything. I don't know why that is accepted here but i still fucking hate it.

 

[Sherilyn66]

I give you credit for saying no thanks. My experience seems to be more ghosting than anything. I don't know why that is accepted here but i still fucking hate it.

I guess I'm one of those weirdos that like to treat people the way I'd like to be treated. I honestly can't think of a good reason to be rude, or worse yet an asshole.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

I guess I'm one of those weirdos that like to treat people the way I'd like to be treated. I honestly can't think of a good reason to be rude, or worse yet an asshole.

I like weird...

 

[Sherilyn66]

I like weird...

It's a hell of a lot more fun!

 

[Reed8]

Not answering seems alien to me. If you or anyone sent me a message I certainly would reply. That's just me though. Then again I don't receive 100 pms a day unless I'm having a rapid fire conversation with someone

I find it hard sometimes to know exactly what to say in online conversation. This happens, especially, when I may not have the experiences that other people have had. I do find the dynamic of conflicting backgrounds, personal truths, and experiences crashing together fascinating. There are some people in my life that really get my gears turning and others that walk around with a big bag of monkey wrenches just waiting to toss them into the mechanism. I find that people have a core philosophy about them, and if there is even a thread of similarity in our philosophies, the conversation can be magical. This can only happen for me, if the needle in the hay stack can be discovered.

 

[The_gladiator]

I guess I'm one of those weirdos that like to treat people the way I'd like to be treated. I honestly can't think of a good reason to be rude, or worse yet an asshole.

Admirable, hard to keep that stance when people are being rude first, though so this is pretty awesome

 

[Midwest50Guy]

It's a hell of a lot more fun!

i am sure you get no complaints from your fan club lol

 

[Midwest50Guy]

I find it hard sometimes to know exactly what to say in online conversation.

I think some people overthink this. Just treat it you would any other conversation. you do not need to be sexual right out of the gate. If it it meant to be, it will go there naturally.

 

[The_gladiator]

I find it hard sometimes to know exactly what to say in online conversation. This happens, especially, when I may not have the experiences that other people have had. I do find the dynamic of conflicting backgrounds, personal truths, and experiences crashing together fascinating. There are some people in my life that really get my gears turning and others that walk around with a big bag of monkey wrenches just waiting to toss them into the mechanism. I find that people have a core philosophy about them, and if there is even a thread of similarity in our philosophies, the conversation can be magical. This can only happen for me, if the needle in the hay stack can be discovered.

Not sure if you meant to quote me, but since you did.
I agee, sometimes I struggle with how to take that conversation deeper, how do you move past hi how are you? With some people it's so easy with others extremely difficult

 

[Reed8]

I think some people overthink this. Just treat it you would any other conversation. you do not need to be sexual right out of the gate. If it it meant to be, it will go there naturally.

I love the idea of things happening organically in conversation. I typically tend not to open with anything sexual. I guess it is because normal stuff, not just bits of body parts, intrigues me about people. Some, I’m guessing, find just talking about stuff other than sex boring. I’ll concede that my assumption could be massively wrong. I just like it when both sides have something valuable to offer. Conversation defiantly goes more than one way.

 

[Sherilyn66]

I think some people overthink this. Just treat it you would any other conversation. you do not need to be sexual right out of the gate. If it it meant to be, it will go there naturally.

You totally nailed it on the head...just be yourself! Pretense or trying too hard doesn't ever get you anywhere in the long run.

 

[Reed8]

Not sure if you meant to quote me, but since you did.
I agee, sometimes I struggle with how to take that conversation deeper, how do you move past hi how are you? With some people it's so easy with others extremely difficult

I was thinking in regards to responding to someone. Finding the right words when someone reaches out first is not always easy. I can be ambiguous at times and fire at the hip too quickly. I have found myself readings someone’s post multiple times just to make sure that I am understanding them.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

I love the idea of things happening organically in conversation. I typically tend not to open with anything sexual. I guess it is because normal stuff, not just bits of body parts, intrigues me about people. Some, I’m guessing, find just talking about stuff other than sex boring. I’ll concede that my assumption could be massively wrong. I just like it when both sides have something valuable to offer. Conversation defiantly goes more than one way.

I have found that if you make an effort to not talk about sex, most girls will take it there anyway. That goes for not only here, but even girls you mean on normal sites like match.com. I put tinder in the same category as this place.

But keep in mind, you won't hit it off with everybody. There is nothing wrong with just making a new friend either.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

I was thinking in regards to responding to someone. Finding the right words when someone reaches out first is not always easy. I can be ambiguous at times and fire at the hip too quickly. I have found myself readings someone’s post multiple times just to make sure that I am understanding them.

you can also read their past posts and bring up something that they posted, or something in their profile if it is filled out.

Girls do love answering questions and talking about themselves. (i know i am going to get it for that one..lol)