How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[xfrodobagginsx]

I asked for examples of intolerant liberals claiming to be tolerant, and you spurt out this irrelevant tangent.

Those folks pulling down the graven images could be more pious than thou.

But ALL Liberals preach Tolerance, Acceptance and Inclusion, ESPECIALLY College Campuses, while at the same time being Intolerant, UnAccepting of Christians or Conservatives or any view that contradicts their own...

 

[BoyNextDoor]

But ALL Liberals preach Tolerance, Acceptance and Inclusion, ESPECIALLY College Campuses, while at the same time being Intolerant, UnAccepting of Christians or Conservatives or any view that contradicts their own...

Maybe they just don't believe in ghosts.

 

[phrodeau]

But ALL Liberals preach Tolerance, Acceptance and Inclusion, ESPECIALLY College Campuses, while at the same time being Intolerant, UnAccepting of Christians or Conservatives or any view that contradicts their own...

Repeating yourself doesn't improve your argument. Show me someone with liberal views, preaching tolerance and displaying intolerance.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Repeating yourself doesn't improve your argument. Show me someone with liberal views, preaching tolerance and displaying intolerance.

The Liberals in Congress. Look at what they did to Bret Kavanaugh. Look at the Liberal protesters disrupting the Senate every few minutes. Look at the Liberals screaming and chanting like a satanic cult.

 

[phrodeau]

The Liberals in Congress. Look at what they did to Bret Kavanaugh. Look at the Liberal protesters disrupting the Senate every few minutes. Look at the Liberals screaming and chanting like a satanic cult.

Who? Where are the names? When did they preach tolerance, and when did they display intolerance?

Do you think we should be tolerant of criminal behavior, or should we keep locking up children who trespass against us?

 

[CandiCame]

For my friends, Christian and non-Christian, who are worried about this issue of going to the bathroom I have read the bible, and I think I can help.

Don't listen to the Simpsons. You can go to the bathroom but be respectful about it.

Deutoronomy 23:12-14 Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. 13 As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. 14 For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.

You don't want him walking on that!!!!

I think this should be talked about in modern times as well. Please be a sweety and wipe the seaty.

You have to do this because if you shit in a cave David'll come up and cut your shitting robe as payback for all those CHILDHOOD SPEAR CHUCKINGS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS HAS ALWAYS BOTHERED ME. I GREW UP IN THE BIBLE BELT AND THIS HAS ALWAYS BOTHERED ME. YOU DON'T JUST CHUCK SPEARS AT 12-YEAR-OLDS AND NEVER ADDRESS HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. HE DID IT MULTIPLE TIMES.

John is even like, "Ha, yeah, that's dad's chuckin spear!" When Dave was all, "You dad keeps trying to stab me!"

 

[Kirkrapine]

Maybe they just don't believe in ghosts.

That is, the Holy Ghost.

Who does not, really, exist, no more than the Son or the Father.

 

[Kirkrapine]

The Liberals in Congress. Look at what they did to Bret Kavanaugh. Look at the Liberal protesters disrupting the Senate every few minutes. Look at the Liberals screaming and chanting like a satanic cult.

That is not "displaying intolerance," quite the reverse.

 

[CandiCame]

That is, the Holy Ghost.

Who does not, really, exist, no more than the Son or the Father.

Here, the Holy Ghost causes seizures.

For reasons that were never adequately explained. But they look like they go full absence, like TV petite mal or however that's spelled.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Here, the Holy Ghost causes seizures.

For reasons that were never adequately explained. But they look like they go full absence, like TV petite mal or however that's spelled.

I don't believe that the Holy Ghost causes seizures.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Biblical prophecies.

See also Biblical contradictions.

 

[Kirkrapine]

I don't believe that the Holy Ghost causes seizures.

Whatever was happening to the glossolalic Pentecostals I saw in Borat, it was not normal neural functioning.

 

[CandiCame]

I don't believe that the Holy Ghost causes seizures.

Well you oughta go full Southern Baptist, my friend. They just throw blankets over them. They don't give a FUCK.

Because I'm pretty sure everyone knows it's bullshit.

 

[Led_Astray]

I don't believe that the Holy Ghost causes seizures.

Because it doesn't exist?

 

[Kirkrapine]

Well you oughta go full Southern Baptist, my friend. They just throw blankets over them. They don't give a FUCK.

Because I'm pretty sure everyone knows it's bullshit.

An Episcopalian is a Presbyterian with a trust fund.

A Presbyterian is a Methodist with a college education.

And a Methodist is a Baptist with shoes.

 

[CandiCame]

An Episcopalian is a Presbyterian with a trust fund.

A Presbyterian is a Methodist with a college education.

And a Methodist is a Baptist with shoes.

You know how usually when you say "lol" you mean, "shot air out my nose real fast"? Not this time. This time you got me. I ACTUALLY laughed out loud.

 

[Tryharder62]

You have to do this because if you shit in a cave David'll come up and cut your shitting robe as payback for all those CHILDHOOD SPEAR CHUCKINGS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS HAS ALWAYS BOTHERED ME. I GREW UP IN THE BIBLE BELT AND THIS HAS ALWAYS BOTHERED ME. YOU DON'T JUST CHUCK SPEARS AT 12-YEAR-OLDS AND NEVER ADDRESS HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. HE DID IT MULTIPLE TIMES.

John is even like, "Ha, yeah, that's dad's chuckin spear!" When Dave was all, "You dad keeps trying to stab me!"

Well, you are right, King Saul was a little paranoid!

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Whatever was happening to the glossolalic Pentecostals I saw in Borat, it was not normal neural functioning.

I am not sure what is happening with Pentecostals. I am not one. I can say that I have never seen anything like that at any Church I have ever attended, but I have seen the Lord move in mighty ways.

 

[Kirkrapine]

I am not sure what is happening with Pentecostals. I am not one. I can say that I have never seen anything like that at any Church I have ever attended, but I have seen the Lord move in mighty ways.

One never seems to see the Lord move in ways nothing else could explain.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Well, you are right, King Saul was a little paranoid!

And events proved he wasn't paranoid enough.

 

[CandiCame]

And events proved he wasn't paranoid enough.

No they don't! Almost positive that he helped CREATE a genocidal war-monger through the paranoia that caused him to turn to child abuse for his... underage... lyre player... that he kept in his bedroom...

This guy just...
Goddamn.

https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/david-och-saul-julius-.jpg

Edit: I spelled lyre wrong the first time and didn't catch it.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

No they don't! Almost positive that he helped CREATE a genocidal war-monger through the paranoia that caused him to turn to child abuse for his... underage... lyre player... that he kept in his bedroom...

This guy just...
Goddamn.

https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/david-och-saul-julius-.jpg

Edit: I spelled lyre wrong the first time and didn't catch it.

You must be talking about mohammad.

 

[CandiCame]

You must be talking about mohammad.

Nope- talking about Saul. That is word-for-word what happened. REPEATEDLY.

He threw them at his own kids, too. He had a son around the same age as David (both had their bar mitzvahs the year after David slew Golith, so 12) and he threw spheres at him, too. Apparently he had a "melancholy" that made him go full coco-bananas and turn to child abuse.

Don't worry, he gets his. You won't BELIEVE what happens next.

I bet if we clickbated the bible more more folks would read it.

You know the psalms might have been about Prince Jhonny, too, right? Those boys were CLOSE. It's not Adam & Steve, it's Dave & Jhon.

"Soul Friends"- yeah, boys, we got a name for that now.

http://static.newworldencyclopedia.org/0/06/David-and-Jonathan2.jpg

 

[Led_Astray]

You must be talking about mohammad.

Wow, possibly the weakest attempt to defend some of the atrocities in the bible I have ever read.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Nope- talking about Saul. That is word-for-word what happened. REPEATEDLY.

He threw them at his own kids, too. He had a son around the same age as David (both had their bar mitzvahs the year after David slew Golith, so 12) and he threw spheres at him, too. Apparently he had a "melancholy" that made him go full coco-bananas and turn to child abuse.

Don't worry, he gets his. You won't BELIEVE what happens next.

I bet if we clickbated the bible more more folks would read it.

You know the psalms might have been about Prince Jhonny, too, right? Those boys were CLOSE. It's not Adam & Steve, it's Dave & Jhon.

"Soul Friends"- yeah, boys, we got a name for that now.

http://static.newworldencyclopedia.org/0/06/David-and-Jonathan2.jpg

Saul was not a good King, which is why God took the Kingdom from him. God gave the people what they wanted first, a fleshly, good looking, tall man...Saul. He didn't work as God knew He would not. Then God gave the people a man after God's own heart, David. David was the best King Israel ever had. He wasn't tall, he wasn't someone the world would look at as a great King, but he was a great King because he had Faith in God.