How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[Kirkrapine]

Is that a church?

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Nothing about Heaven there.

What about heaven?

 

[RepressedCatholic]

Religion is one thing. A real relationship with Jesus Christ is completely different. Religion=Ritual.

And looking at your posts it still breeds intolerance, arrogance and bigotry.

RC

 

[Kirkrapine]

Religion is one thing. A real relationship with Jesus Christ is completely different.

And much more physical.

 

[Kirkrapine]

What about heaven?

In Heaven, the police are British, the cooks are French, the cars are German, and the women are Italian.

In Hell, the police are German, the cooks are British, the cars are French, and the women are Italian.

 

[Tryharder62]

In Heaven, the police are British, the cooks are French, the cars are German, and the women are Italian.

In Hell, the police are German, the cooks are British, the cars are French, and the women are Italian.

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno.
But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday!"

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

And looking at your posts it still breeds intolerance, arrogance and bigotry.

RC

No that would be intolerant liberals who can't handle any view that disagrees with theirs while claiming to be tolerant.

 

[phrodeau]

No that would be intolerant liberals who can't handle any view that disagrees with theirs while claiming to be tolerant.

Please provide examples.

 

[Led_Astray]

No that would be intolerant liberals who can't handle any view that disagrees with theirs while claiming to be tolerant.

He's right! Us liberal free-thinkers are famous for threatening you with everlasting hell if you don't live your life exactly the way we say!

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

He's right! Us liberal free-thinkers are famous for threatening you with everlasting hell if you don't live your life exactly the way we say!

Free of thinking is more like it.

 

[Led_Astray]

Free of thinking is more like it.

Isn't it funny that the side posting personal attacks in this debate (rather than any attempts at reasoned arguments, with one notable exception) is the side that was commanded to love thy neighbour and treat others as you would have them treat you?

If you can't live by what you preach, don't expect to be taken seriously.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Isn't it funny that the side posting personal attacks in this debate (rather than any attempts at reasoned arguments, with one notable exception) is the side that was commanded to love thy neighbour and treat others as you would have them treat you?

If you can't live by what you preach, don't expect to be taken seriously.

I guess you don't know what a personal attack is. That was a group statement. It wasn't merely directed at 1 Liberal and it was the truth. Jesus spoke the truth also and was hated for it. Also, being a Christian doesn't mean letting people walk all over you as you and many liberals love to do.

Ro 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

It's not possible to live peaceably with people who want to destroy you.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Jesus spoke the truth also and was hated for it.

Jesus made some compelling moral arguments, but very little in the red-letter texts constitutes "truth" in a sense factual, historical, scientific, philosophical or even spiritual.

It's not possible to live peaceably with people who want to destroy you.

Of course it is, if they only want to "destroy" you in an intellectual, political or religious rather than a physical sense.

 

[Led_Astray]

I guess you don't know what a personal attack is. That was a group statement. It wasn't merely directed at 1 Liberal and it was the truth. Jesus spoke the truth also and was hated for it. Also, being a Christian doesn't mean letting people walk all over you as you and many liberals love to do.

Ro 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

It's not possible to live peaceably with people who want to destroy you.

Go on then, tell us about when the big bad liberals threatened to destroy you.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Jesus made some compelling moral arguments, but very little in the red-letter texts constitutes "truth" in a sense factual, historical, scientific, philosophical or even spiritual.



Of course it is, if they only want to "destroy" you in an intellectual, political or religious rather than a physical sense.

Wrong. The Red letter and Biblical accounts are written by actual eyewitnesses to the events. Science, history and philosophy all support what the Bible says.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Wrong. The Red letter and Biblical accounts are written by actual eyewitnesses to the events.

I am not saying Jesus did not say what the red letters say, I am saying there is almost no truth in their contents. He was talking out his ass.

Science, history and philosophy all support what the Bible says.

No, they don't. E.g., the accounts of creation and Noah's flood are certainly false. And the Bible says Jesus was born during the reign of Herod the Great and during a Roman census, which is impossible; the first Roman census of Judea (not of "all the world") was taken ten years after Herod died. As for philosophy, you will not find a single scripture worthy of the name, not even in Job, Proverbs or Ecclesiastes. Philosophy begins with doubt, not faith; fear of the Lord is not the beginning of wisdom.

 

[Led_Astray]

Wrong. The Red letter and Biblical accounts are written by actual eyewitnesses to the events. Science, history and philosophy all support what the Bible says.

Yeah, sure they do.

Like for example, the "fact" that seven red kangaroos got off the ark, trekked about 13,000 km and then swam at least 300km to reach Australia.

OR, that they did it over several generations, but despite not having opposable thumbs they picked up all evidence of them ever existing in the lands they crossed whilst they travelled.

Or the "fact" that somehow an olive tree survived being completely submersed for 40 days without ill effect (and still had leaves on it when the water receded)

Or the "fact" that not one other person in the world at the time thought "Hey, this rain is getting a bit heavy, maybe I should get in my boat."

Or the "facts" that the earth doesn't move, and the sun does.

Or the "fact" that a circle's circumference is 3 times its diameter.

And when Jesus was alone in the desert talking to the devil, somehow there was an eyewitness who wrote down everything they said...

I could go on, but its too easy to be entertaining any more.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

I am not saying Jesus did not say what the red letters say, I am saying there is almost no truth in their contents. He was talking out his ass.



No, they don't. E.g., the accounts of creation and Noah's flood are certainly false. And the Bible says Jesus was born during the reign of Herod the Great and during a Roman census, which is impossible; the first Roman census of Judea (not of "all the world") was taken ten years after Herod died. As for philosophy, you will not find a single scripture worthy of the name, not even in Job, Proverbs or Ecclesiastes. Philosophy begins with doubt, not faith; fear of the Lord is not the beginning of wisdom.

Wow! You said that about Jesus? You realize that you will stand before Him one day right? The accounts of Noah's flood and Creation are 100% true. Everything in the Bible is true. The evidence points in that direction as well, it's just that you have been indoctrinated by Evolution and deceptions. You make lots of false assertions which if you take the time to look at the other side, you will see they are false. Hundreds of prophecies in the Bible written hundreds of years before Christ's birth, fulfilled in Christ. Herod knew when, where Jesus would be born because of the scripture that was written hundreds of years before His birth. The Bible is an Amazing work of God and fits together perfectly.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Wow! You said that about Jesus? You realize that you will stand before Him one day right?

No, I won't, and neither will you. Jesus is not God, he is a dead Jew, nothing more. If his recorded words were the truth, he would have come again during the lifetime of his apostles.

But, don't get upset. Jesus loves you.

Physically.

The accounts of Noah's flood and Creation are 100% true. Everything in the Bible is true.

You're actually one of those?!

Put that irrelevance away. The Bible is no more God's word than a line of subway toilet graffiti is God's word.

The evidence points in that direction as well, it's just that you have been indoctrinated by Evolution and deceptions. You make lots of false assertions which if you take the time to look at the other side, you will see they are false.

Believe me, there are no creationist or Biblicist arguments that could surprise me any more. I've seen them all.

You need to go here, and stay there for a very long time. A far better use of your time than prayer or Bible study.

 

[runsilent]

Wow! You said that about Jesus? You realize that you will stand before Him one day right? The accounts of Noah's flood and Creation are 100% true. Everything in the Bible is true. The evidence points in that direction as well, it's just that you have been indoctrinated by Evolution and deceptions. You make lots of false assertions which if you take the time to look at the other side, you will see they are false. Hundreds of prophecies in the Bible written hundreds of years before Christ's birth, fulfilled in Christ. Herod knew when, where Jesus would be born because of the scripture that was written hundreds of years before His birth. The Bible is an Amazing work of God and fits together perfectly.

Have any of you thought that this is just a troll and laughs every time you reply? STOP RESPONDING and see how fast this thread drops off the board.

edited for spelling

 

[Kirkrapine]

Hundreds of prophecies in the Bible written hundreds of years before Christ's birth, fulfilled in Christ. Herod knew when, where Jesus would be born because of the scripture that was written hundreds of years before His birth. The Bible is an Amazing work of God and fits together perfectly.

Biblical prophecies.

 

[phrodeau]

According to the Gospels, Jesus told a lot of stories that were not literally true. We call them parables, and nobody believes that they really happened.

Or do you think the Good Samaritan or the prodigal son were also historic figures?

 

[Led_Astray]

Wow! You said that about Jesus? You realize that you will stand before Him one day right? The accounts of Noah's flood and Creation are 100% true. Everything in the Bible is true. The evidence points in that direction as well, it's just that you have been indoctrinated by Evolution and deceptions. You make lots of false assertions which if you take the time to look at the other side, you will see they are false. Hundreds of prophecies in the Bible written hundreds of years before Christ's birth, fulfilled in Christ. Herod knew when, where Jesus would be born because of the scripture that was written hundreds of years before His birth. The Bible is an Amazing work of God and fits together perfectly.

Have you actually READ the bible? Because I don't think you have, or if you have, you have a terrible memory. It contains literally dozens of contradictions - even such an important event as Jesus' last words is reported differently in different gospels.

Even if you use ONLY the bible as your source, it is literally impossible - and I mean the actual, original definition of literally - it is literally impossible for the Bible to be 100% true.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Have you actually READ the bible?

"Marge, have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom!"

-- Reverend Lovejoy

 

[runsilent]

Keep feeding the troll. He is laughing at you.