Slut. Let’s talk about it.

[Icy1]

After witnessing a bit of a storm in a teacup over the use of the word slut I was wondering how others felt about its use.

Personally I don’t want to be called a slut by just anyone but I’m happy with it in the bedroom with my man.

Thoughts anyone?

 

[Joxlrg]

Thread

I believe the difference could have been in generations and overall upbringing as kids.. Cyclista.. Approaching her mid forties and myself amongst others in their 50's grew up with stricter rules about how you address others. It was always about respect.. Now I know that the two in question were partners and both were into the term.. Hey to each their own and have fun.. Yes the comment was made on their thread.. And it was mentioned that it bothered her.. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.. Yes LIT is a free world where you can comment and post mostly whatever you would like.. The comments initially were not personal nor threatening in any way.. I may go out on a limb here and get chastised for it.. However.. younger generations seem to take immediate offense to anyone telling them they are offended.. Sometimes in a threatening manner very quickly.. Today we get told to mind our own business.. Its none of our business.. That may be so... However we all do live in a society.. YES we do... And part of that society is getting along/fitting in.. Somewhere... And hopefully as a productive member of said society.. Nothing is to be handed to you.. You are not entitled.. Everyone has had to work for what they have.. And there ARE consequences in life for every decision.. So when someone tells you they are offended by your actions.. Perhaps take a look at it from their perspective instead of lashing out with names and threats.. Thats how we all learn about others on this same spinning planet.. We are all meant to disagree and have our own opinions.. We all just accept what we want for our lives and the consequences of our decisions..

 

[13Fantasies]

Not a word I use generally. Like Icy, it has to be with the right person. Or context if I'm RPING for example

 

[Icy1]

Thanks for your thoughts Joxlrg.
I wasn’t specifically talking about slut in terms of that thread, more a general view of the word.
Age may play a part in how you feel about it but I suspect it may be more personal preference as I’m mid forties myself.

 

[Joxlrg]

Preference

Fair enough Icy.. Thanks for replying calmly.. Please let me ask you nicely.. I understand as you have said.. That you wouldn't want to be called a slut by just anyone.. But it would be fine coming from your man.. You must acknowledge then that it is a demeaning term when used by someone else.. I am just curious as to why its ok between you and your man?? Is taken by you from him the same as him calling you a dirty girl?? Sex talk?? Do you acknowledge that you have some "Slut" like tendencies or fetishes?? Is it perceived that he is above you in some way?? I can see that being expressed between yourself and your man.. Or as said in the situation of Role Play..

 

[Joxlrg]

Family

Also.. What if, and maybe they do.. Your family found out your partner calls you a "Slut". I am sure you could just tell them that he may call you whatever he wants.. But is that truly how you feel??

 

[Icy1]

Fair enough Icy.. Thanks for replying calmly.. Please let me ask you nicely.. I understand as you have said.. That you wouldn't want to be called a slut by just anyone.. But it would be fine coming from your man.. You must acknowledge then that it is a demeaning term when used by someone else.. I am just curious as to why its ok between you and your man?? Is taken by you from him the same as him calling you a dirty girl?? Sex talk?? Do you acknowledge that you have some "Slut" like tendencies or fetishes?? Is it perceived that he is above you in some way?? I can see that being expressed between yourself and your man.. Or as said in the situation of Role Play..

No I just think they’d have no right or cause to say it. It can be a demeaning term but I don’t think we have to let it be one.
The rest is quite private and I think I only need to say that I enjoy it with my partner probably more as a type of sex talk. We are both consenting adults with a huge amount of respect for each other.

Edit to say anyone who knows us sees the respect we have for each other.

 

[Icy1]

Not a word I use generally. Like Icy, it has to be with the right person. Or context if I'm RPING for example

Thanks for weighing in with your opinion.

 

[Joxlrg]

Thanks

Thanks Icy as I do want to learn about how others see things.. My opinion is not always correct.. Carry on and have fun!!!

 

[Icy1]

Thanks Icy as I do want to learn about how others see things.. My opinion is not always correct.. Carry on and have fun!!!

You’re welcome.
I don’t think it comes down to what is correct.
It’s more about just accepting that while it may be a differing opinion to ours it doesn’t make it incorrect. It just makes it different. That’s the thing about humans we don’t all think alike.

 

[Joxlrg]

Agreed

And that's why I listen to others points of view.. After all we are all in charge of our own happiness

 

[Paul_Chance]

I generally see the term as an insult, so don't use it, unless it is in sexual play with a partner and the word holds some potency for them there. Then I will call you whatever you want to be called that heightens your pleasure.

 

[planetbeat_]

I have also got to say it is not a word I would use myself, along with other words I just feel uncomfortable using, my least favourite word being the c word. But if others are comfortable with those words as part of their relationship and in their fantasies that is entirely their right and frankly none of my business.

 

[murmurmara]

Interesting...

I don’t like the word slut at all, and I’ve asked people not to use it with me. But I LOVE the word cunt — as a noun for a particular place. I certainly wouldn’t use it to describe a person, but I prefer it to pussy. Maybe because it’s a strong Anglo-Saxon word that makes me think of cunnilingus. My favorite pet name for That Place is cunny. For the same reason.

 

[sazzyslut69]

I'm probably causing more problems for my girls who do take issue with it, but I must admit it is my number 1 turn on :/

 

[Karabare]

In the right setting, said by a man who's voice is all husky with lust, it's a huge turn on. Everyone has their preference.

Whore on the other hand is not.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

If she refers to herself as that, or asks me to call her one, then I’m happy to oblige. Otherwise, no way.

 

[Beachgirl22]

In the right setting, said by a man who's voice is all husky with lust, it's a huge turn on. Everyone has their preference.

Whore on the other hand is not.

This!

 

[quietlylooking]

In the right setting, said by a man who's voice is all husky with lust, it's a huge turn on. Everyone has their preference.

Whore on the other hand is not.

I agree completely. I'm not sure why certain words turn me on in certain contexts and not in others. For example, being called a "cunt" never turns me on, but when it is used to refer to part of my body it's fine.

 

[AnAmericanDarling]

The words "slut" and "whore" are iffy with me. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't - it depends on who is saying them and in what circumstance. But I absolutely hate the c word, as one poster mentioned. I think that's a terrible word.

 

[toeskr]

After witnessing a bit of a storm in a teacup over the use of the word slut I was wondering how others felt about its use.

Personally I don’t want to be called a slut by just anyone but I’m happy with it in the bedroom with my man.

Thoughts anyone?

It's not up to men to choose.

Usually a derogatory term.

However, if your partner chooses it as a term of endearment to describe herself or it turns her on, by all means, have fun with it.

I don't really care for it though.

 

[missswannie]

Contextually, it is difficult to accept the use of the word slut or whore referring to me, unless I am referring to myself in that terminology. Meaning that I can be my own slut, but I can never be your slut or that slut.

It might be an Australian thing but we often insult each other as a friendly greeting. So a friend might greet me with "Hi Slut" but responded to with "Hi Moll" That doesn't extend to everyone and is selective to those who can open and quick respond to it deadpan.

Now as it has been referred to above, cunt is a good word. I have a vagina, pussy, a hole, and a cunt simultaneously, just depending on the mood she is in. As an insult, a greeting (as above), or a descriptive it is a good word, particularly in an Aussie and UK speech context. Interchangeable with Dick in that context, so an equal opportunity expressive. My Indian friends love the word, Japanese ones enjoy it as they also have differing mood words for vagina, but some of my US people have difficult with separating a derogatory meaning from an insult or a good use.

 

[StElmosFire]

Why do we debate stuff that is self evident? Clearly context matters. Calling someone I don't know well a slut would be an insult, or in the least be open to being received as such. To someone I know well in a casual context should be received in the spirit it was said. Presumably it was expected to be received well. If it is not, then that person should learn from that and proceed accordingly. The use of the word again would then be rightfully taken as an insult.

This conversation applies to all words. Words are words, it's what is being communicated that matters.

 

[Phosphene]

Contextually, it is difficult to accept the use of the word slut or whore referring to me, unless I am referring to myself in that terminology. Meaning that I can be my own slut, but I can never be your slut or that slut.

It might be an Australian thing but we often insult each other as a friendly greeting. So a friend might greet me with "Hi Slut" but responded to with "Hi Moll" That doesn't extend to everyone and is selective to those who can open and quick respond to it deadpan.

Now as it has been referred to above, cunt is a good word. I have a vagina, pussy, a hole, and a cunt simultaneously, just depending on the mood she is in. As an insult, a greeting (as above), or a descriptive it is a good word, particularly in an Aussie and UK speech context. Interchangeable with Dick in that context, so an equal opportunity expressive. My Indian friends love the word, Japanese ones enjoy it as they also have differing mood words for vagina, but some of my US people have difficult with separating a derogatory meaning from an insult or a good use.

There are some women who delight in the reapproproation and ownership of derogatory terms like “bitch” and “slut”. Your friend reminds me of an old coworker like this who is known for her mouth. I seriously doubt she would ever want to hear that coming from a man, though.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Unlike misswannie, I only enjoy being called a slut (or whore) in a possessive context. I'm HIS slut/whore -- i.e., I am so into him, I want him so badly, I so want to please him, that I'll do (almost) anything for him sexually, and he knows it, and that is an incredible turn on for him too. That's what it means to me -- it's not about the dictionary definition.

Yes, it's degrading, and it's meant to be, but it exists in a sexual context and within an established dynamic.

And as for the incident in question, since I am one who spoke up in defense of the thread's title -- this is a porn site. It shouldn't be shocking or upsetting to see it here, unless it is being directed at someone who does not welcome it, which was not at all the case. *shrug*