Daddy's Little Girl

[Wild_Honey_66]

I miss being in a caregiver dynamic. There's a lot of 'little' stuff on Tumblr that I don't identify with, but there are some aspects that really worked for me.

 

[Farawyn]

I miss being in a caregiver dynamic. There's a lot of 'little' stuff on Tumblr that I don't identify with, but there are some aspects that really worked for me.

You have that. It’s called LIFE!!!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

You have that. It’s called LIFE!!!

 

[Farawyn]

You take care of everyone.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

You take care of everyone.

Haha!

I meant the other way around.

I miss the affection, I miss the verbal praise, I miss feeling like someone was looking out for my well-being, i miss feeling spoiled in a good way, i miss feeling wanted, i miss the sense of belonging to him. And it doesnt hurt that the sex was super hot.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Haha!

I meant the other way around.

I miss the affection, I miss the verbal praise, I miss feeling like someone was looking out for my well-being, i miss feeling spoiled in a good way, i miss feeling wanted, i miss the sense of belonging to him. And it doesnt hurt that the sex was super hot.

Come lay your head in my lap and let me stroke your hair while we talk.

Missing all that can make me sad. Thankfully, when I'm in that position, there are friends around who help me through it until I find myself there in a dynamic again. It doesn't cover EVERYTHING, such as sex or the sense of belonging that is needed, but there are laps to sit in, my hair stroked, ears to listen, advice and warm feelings shared. I've learned that I need to be content in those times.

Someone once told me not to actively seek a Daddy, because I might settle for something when I would be better off waiting. Surround myself with friends, be open to meeting people and talking. I followed his advice and eventually found myself in a situation that was fabulous. Though we've parted ways, a piece of him is with me still. Very fond memories.

Sometimes our very best friends turn out to be so very amazing. *looks adoringly toward Scotland*

Meanwhile, you have us. We love you, and we'll even brush your hair.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Come lay your head in my lap and let me stroke your hair while we talk.

Missing all that can make me sad. Thankfully, when I'm in that position, there are friends around who help me through it until I find myself there in a dynamic again. It doesn't cover EVERYTHING, such as sex or the sense of belonging that is needed, but there are laps to sit in, my hair stroked, ears to listen, advice and warm feelings shared. I've learned that I need to be content in those times.

Someone once told me not to actively seek a Daddy, because I might settle for something when I would be better off waiting. Surround myself with friends, be open to meeting people and talking. I followed his advice and eventually found myself in a situation that was fabulous. Though we've parted ways, a piece of him is with me still. Very fond memories.

Sometimes our very best friends turn out to be so very amazing. *looks adoringly toward Scotland*

Meanwhile, you have us. We love you, and we'll even brush your hair.

You are so sweet.

He and I are still very close, he is definitely one of my best friends, we just don't have that dynamic anymore. Just a guess on my part, but I think it's possible that he's suffering some degree of burn out. I was tremendously needy when he agreed to daddy me, and he has been incredibly generous with his time and his care ever since. I bring this up because,

1. He's awesome and
2. We haven't talked much about caregiver burn out, but obviously it's a thing as much in BDSM relationships as it is in others.

Physical touch is one of my big needs. This week, if I can afford it, I hope to do one of the following:

*get my hair shampooed at the beauty shop
*get a pedicure
*get a massage

It's not ideal, but it helps.

 

[Nzerxx]

Haha!

I meant the other way around.

I miss the affection, I miss the verbal praise, I miss feeling like someone was looking out for my well-being, i miss feeling spoiled in a good way, i miss feeling wanted, i miss the sense of belonging to him. And it doesnt hurt that the sex was super hot.

This THIS is me completely

 

[funluvinaj]

Haha!

I meant the other way around.

I miss the affection, I miss the verbal praise, I miss feeling like someone was looking out for my well-being, i miss feeling spoiled in a good way, i miss feeling wanted, i miss the sense of belonging to him. And it doesnt hurt that the sex was super hot.

I have it for the first time in my life and I can see how it would be miserable to lose it. I can't even think about that. Daddy has brought so much out in me that I had no clue was there and maybe it wasn't except for him. I've said for years that I have submissive tendencies but that I was not a sub... I am 100% his and feel more complete and content than ever.

I'm glad to have found this thread.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This THIS is me completely

((hug))

I have it for the first time in my life and I can see how it would be miserable to lose it. I can't even think about that. Daddy has brought so much out in me that I had no clue was there and maybe it wasn't except for him. I've said for years that I have submissive tendencies but that I was not a sub... I am 100% his and feel more complete and content than ever.

I'm glad to have found this thread.

AJ, I remember seeing you on the Gentleman Doms thread back in the day. Nice to have you with us!

 

[funluvinaj]

((hug))



AJ, I remember seeing you on the Gentleman Doms thread back in the day. Nice to have you with us!

Yes... I thought I had this D/s dynamic before but it always felt lacking and he made me question myself constantly for wanting his time and care. Now that I have Daddy and have only had to ask for something once or twice over the last 18 months I know what’s real.

Thank you for the welcome

 

[Daddyslittlesweetness]

Yes... I thought I had this D/s dynamic before but it always felt lacking and he made me question myself constantly for wanting his time and care. Now that I have Daddy and have only had to ask for something once or twice over the last 18 months I know what’s real.

Thank you for the welcome

Welcome with us AJ!! It's wonderful around here, congrats on the Daddy, and congrats on finding yourself and finding your way to the thread.

✯✯✯✯✯

 

[funluvinaj]

Welcome with us AJ!! It's wonderful around here, congrats on the Daddy, and congrats on finding yourself and finding your way to the thread.

✯✯✯✯✯

Thank you

 

[Daddyslittlesweetness]

Thank you

Very welcome dear

✯✯✯✯✯

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Someone once told me not to actively seek a Daddy, because I might settle for something when I would be better off waiting.

Yep. Totally agree. And honestly, as much as I miss it, I don't think I could do it again right now anyway.

I like the idea of having a non-sexual caregiver, but I'm not actively looking for that, either.

Focusing on self-care, and trying to be content with where I am now.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Haha!

I meant the other way around.

I miss the affection, I miss the verbal praise, I miss feeling like someone was looking out for my well-being, i miss feeling spoiled in a good way, i miss feeling wanted, i miss the sense of belonging to him. And it doesnt hurt that the sex was super hot.

Yeah
^^this

 

[Angedesoleil]

I didn't see your post right away... sorry, Matt.

I think this way, too. Now. At first I was "okay, I know what I am...does it have a name, do I fit the description of this or that?"

I see the OP of this question might be right where I was.

Yes, BFG that's where I am. I know clearly what **I** am ( most days) and I know what I need. I just never looked this direction too closely because of preconceived ideas that were incorrect.

I acknowledge that it is only helpful to have a label to a degree, and it is entirely useless to others. For me, it is a place to start understanding myself, which is important to me. You can only make wise decisions if you understand your own motivations. IMHO. One of my life goals is to understand me.

Can you be submissive and not vulnerable? I think yes and no. I think this is where you have different philosophies or brands of submission. I think most of us on this board are more towards the heart, mind, body whole package "this is who I am, have all of me" style submission. So for us, no, you can't be submissive without a measure of vulnerability. However, there are others who submit under different circumstances. Play for the same of play. I understand your assertion that it is obedience not submission, but I disagree. If I chose to put myself in certain situations, it is the situation or position that elicits feelings of submission. There is no emotional mental vulnerability... The person may as well not know my name from Eve, but it is still submission none the less. This is not something I personally strive for, it scares the heck out of me TBH. One of the only times I ever safeworded out was in a situation like that when it was hitting me emotionally deeply without that true connection real vulnerability. It freaked me out.

 

[Angedesoleil]

Haha!

I meant the other way around.

I miss the affection, I miss the verbal praise, I miss feeling like someone was looking out for my well-being, i miss feeling spoiled in a good way, i miss feeling wanted, i miss the sense of belonging to him. And it doesnt hurt that the sex was super hot.

Sorry for the double post, but yes...this I can 100% say fits. Mostly the wanted, cared for, belonging...those are definitely driving forces. Add I need to feel I please. I need to feel helpful. I need to feel I make him proud.

 

[LostGirlTink]

A bunch of quick snips

i miss the sense of belonging to him.

This one sentence summed it up perfectly.

Missing all that can make me sad. Thankfully, when I'm in that position, there are friends around who help me through it

Meanwhile, you have us. We love you, and we'll even brush your hair.

I have amazing friends. Special shout out to those who have held my hand or let me cry on them over and over. AND OVER.
You know who you are.

I have it for the first time in my life and I can see how it would be miserable to lose it.

It really is.

I couldn't help it or resist it, it just was. Now my eyes are opened and I need this and can't imagine being fulfilled any other way. While I may not be a little (or as Tink pointed out, I'm very little when I'm drunk and she didn't care for having to be the Big one! Ha!), I've been able to relate to many of the posts made the last few weeks.

I bolded the important parts.
I think when you meet someone who connects with you that way, you can't help it. It's like something in you settles with part of them and everything feels right.

And yeah. You get super little when you are drinking.

Can you be submissive and not vulnerable? I think yes and no. I think this is where you have different philosophies or brands of submission. I think most of us on this board are more towards the heart, mind, body whole package "this is who I am, have all of me" style submission. So for us, no, you can't be submissive without a measure of vulnerability.

I don't think I'm capable of being submissive and not vulnerable. The flip of that is that if I don't feel like I can be 100% vulnerable, I'm also incapable of submission.
So there's that.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't think I'm capable of being submissive and not vulnerable. The flip of that is that if I don't feel like I can be 100% vulnerable, I'm also incapable of submission.
So there's that.

This makes perfect sense.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

https://image.ibb.co/fNZw8T/20180609_013846.png

 

[funluvinaj]

Hi ladies

just wanted to say hello

date day (ALL damn day) with Daddy tomorrow after a very long week with not enough time (I worked a lot of overtime this week) *happy sigh*

Honey - i think that self care thing is really important but I wonder if you find it as difficult as I do when I just wanna be cuddled??

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

https://www.witchcake.co.uk/2016/06/being-little.html?m=1

This is good.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Honey - i think that self care thing is really important but I wonder if you find it as difficult as I do when I just wanna be cuddled??

Yes. Well, it's easier now than it used to be, but there are still days when I don't want to accept that responsibility and I have to push myself kicking and screaming to change my clothes, or eat a healthy breakfast, or get out of bed before 3pm. Nowadays, i recognize that as a red flag that something needs to be adjusted somewhere.

I think it's tempting for littles (and Caregivers too, probably) to get off on the rush of the power exchange to such an extent that they want to go too far in the wrong areas. Self-care isn't something that littles should do because their CG is absent or unavailable, it's something they should be handling on their own regardless. We need to be kinky within healthy boundaries to keep everyone safe.

When i began my DD/lg relationship, I was experiencing a significant amount of depression and anxiety in other areas of my life that caused me to feel incapable of doing self-care, and quite honestly, at that time I didn't want to do it. I felt so fragile that I literally wanted to be led around by the hand and gently instructed to do... whatever. That would have felt like love and nurturing to me at that time, and I felt resentful that I was being expected to do those things on my own. How very dare he! But as my issues began to improve, I started taking on those responsibilities without much fuss, mostly because I felt strong enough to be more independent and self-sufficient.

I think we need to be careful to not encourage or approve behavior that hinders our forward movement. CGs are there as a safe place, a hiding place even, at times, but they're also there to facilitate our growth! Caregivers can tend and nurture us in ways that still acknowledge the truth that we are responsible for our own health and happiness. We can be strong and confident and capable, while still enjoying intimacy within the relationship. It's not an either/or proposition, we can do both!

I got kind of rambly there Did I answer your question?

 

[Angedesoleil]

I think it was incredibly well said. It leads me to YET ANOTHER "is this a thing?" Question.

I see you both mention "a hiding place" even.
I have a personality quirk, I call it my turtle shell or hibernating. When things get completely overwhelming and I feel like I can't fix or change anything I tend to curl into my turtle shell. I keep up self care, but I stop dealing with other people. I go incommunicado until I can cope again, until I can do something productive to change the situation or the thing is done. I know it isn't productive, but it is a form of self preservation.
Does this sound familiar at all? The exception to the rule is *person* that I curl up into. May times I can't even really do a ton of discussing, it is just *hold me make it OK* and it does. At that point cuddles make the world better. I've told *person* I wish I could curl up and live either in your pocket or inside you right now, yep, that'd be good.
The reason I say *person* not "Sir" is because this has been true forever, regardless of who I was with or our dynamic. I know at least back to my first boyfriend. I distinctly remember that when my grandpa died and my mom was diagnosed with cancer in the span of a month.

So is turtle/ hibernate/ hide a thing? Or just a me quirk?

~~~~~~
Secondary topic:
That moment when you are doing something completely unrelated for work and run into something *perfect*.
I just read the short story "Eleven" by Sandra Cisneros. If you haven't read it, do. You can find the text online easily.
I think this might be appropriate for quite a few people here:
" what they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, seven, six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. ...like some days you might say something stupid and that's the part of you that's still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mamma's lap because you're scared, and that's the part of you that's still five. And maybe one day when you're all grown up maybe you will need to cry like you're three, and that's OK. That's what I tell mama when she's sad and she needs to cry. Maybe she is feeling three.
Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside of a tree or like my wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That's how being eleven years old is."

It goes on, but I thought it too appropriate not to share.