Nothing to see here, Justa bit of Florida sunshine with a chance of hurricane.

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(Allies thread) boo to a goose,

What changed you, you certainly are not a woman who would take any crap now!


oh God, now you are just getting into neuroses, advanced psychology, etc etc. I blame my mom lol. In all seriousness, my mom inadvertently taught me to strive for perfection and adjust myself in situations with people to achieve that goal. I was smart, excellent at picking up what people wanted and expected, cute, and completely able to pull off perfect, for a while. You see, what does it take to be a perfect little girl, smart, but not so smart that you can't learn from and be interested in what adults say, let adults discuss themselves, be verbally precocious, witty, charming, know what to say, how to say it, and know when to just stand there, smile, and look cute, be the best at everything sometimes through talent and hard work, stack the odds in your favor. It actually wasn't so hard, and I succeeded.

But as one grows older, situations change, standards of perfection change. You meet more people with vastly different ideas of perfection. Like if everyone here tried to describe the perfect woman, the description would vary so much, more so than say the perfect child. I still succeeded for a while. Then people build up expectations, so you have to try harder and harder, wear more masks to fake it as there are the ever changing ideals. At the same time, boys are getting physically stronger while girls are getting physically weaker with poorer balance, worse muscle ratio etc. I can no longer be the fastest and strongest and best. Then the same people who are telling you that you can do anything, start saying anything but that, you are just a girl. More people start telling you how your future should be, and so vastly different than each other. How you should look, talk, think. You start seeing the wrongs in the world and trying to fix them. People share more adult problems and you don't have the right thing to say to make it better. And you start failing. To be honest, it was a skill I never learned, and didn't like the feeling.

for example fails I remember to this day

9, the first street race I lost, to a 12 year old boy mind you, but still

10, my mom's 2nd husband. he was actually really awesome. Just a really good guy. Was never mean, didn't hit her, didn't just try to avoid me, didn't try to find ways to screw with me. Financially things weren't perfect, but we had a roof, electricity, water, phone, food, a car and weren't naming the roaches in order to cope with their existence. I had gotten the job of home receptionist, learned how to discourage unimportant bill collectors, negotiate extensions with more important ones (excuses or pleas from a child work better lol), screw with telemarketers to make them go away etc etc. Anyway, one day a woman calls, tells me about deals on sports illustrated, at first just running my normal plays, but the offers she starts coming up with are really really good, and 2nd hubby liked certain sports. She finally negotiates through me to talk to stepdad. Yeah, it is my mom's boyfriends wife. I know if something is too good to be true it is. I know how to deceive and manipulate, hell, as for grifter, I could have been a contender. And this chick who didn't even have a decent plan or forethought to see that all she was accomplishing was my mom would be living in her house playing mom to her kids every other weekend totally played me. obviously the situation was not my fault, but yeah so bitter I didn't see I was getting played somehow.

11, not only could I no longer maintain roller skate limbo championship, which I won for years, I also got worse at street hockey and even got knocked down by a boy while playing.

12, John Hopkins had this program where they identify gifted youth, they had been in and out of my life for a while, but at this point the sponsored me to take the SATs as college prep. I scored 1250. Obviously not bad, I mean hell, it was better than an average 18 year old, and I hadn't even had any of the math yet. What I saw was I failed, it wasn't a 1600 or even close. They also generally had a way of increasing the difficulty level, likely to see where you stood, going farther and farther until you couldn't pass. Public school with my peers was easy, I could always get a perfect score, I couldn't with them. They just kept raising the standard.

12, I used to take up a lot of world causes. recycling, starving children in Africa, animals etc. I had spent years doing drives for the local humane society, collecting thousands and thousands, pictures in paper (I was always good at sales and fundraiser) finally got an in to actually volunteer hands on time. Guess what, no matter how much I raised, how much time i spent, injustice still existed. All I could see was that, and not any of the small positives.

ok, and this was just a flash of a thought, but I share it to convey the insanity in my head, as it made me see the insanity. I did nothing to stop the Gulf War. LOL.

Anyway, some was the standards well meaning adults placed on me, some the standard of living by society's rules, but mostly the standards I placed on myself. It seemed no matter what I did, no matter what I tried, it was never good enough. I quit all sports, it was amazing. I switched to a grunge wardrobe rather than trying to look perfect, it was awesome. I stopped focusing on my education, still an A student, but I no longer cared. I swung completely the other way, purposely rejecting any standard, smashing any preconceived notion. I went from an extreme conformist to an anti conformist. Obviously too far, but I learned apathy, I learned how to be insensitive, I learned the notion of good enough. I grew strong. Then stabilized into the obviously well adjusted individual you see today lol,

If you are looking for a life changing event, there isn't one. I mean don't get me wrong, life had sucky points just like everyone's, mine worse than many, but it was the thoughts in my own head that were the worst. I simply slowly learned to treat myself how I would treat others. I still don't like to try things when the odds are obviously stacked against me, but I happily settle for good enough usually and try to lower all standards around me haha


so for today's sin

Talking with your mouth full.
Is there enough for two, you seem like a girl who likes to share.

yeah I think there is enough for two lol

bingo

Glutton and lust.

oh there is that lust again, it will get there

I picked an out of the way area, a back corner cube in that area

Does anyone know your still there!
Is a cube your name for it? I have never heard it used for a workplace

Cubicle, fake walls to separate employees in to tiny little spaces, in little lines, while the corporation slowly suck their souls.

name that sin

Eating in company time!

nope, holiday today

LOL, I have to go look up the original list somewhere. But Gluttony, lust and pride.....

just gluttony, one sin a day

Gluttony. Wish that was my tongue. I’m a definite breast guy.

bingo and thank you

I’m a bit late but gluttony seems right.

correct.

Ah, gluttony!!! Delicious gluttony though!!!:rose::kiss:
it was delicious

I can see some Lust and maybe a bit of Gluttony ... I think sharing would help in your forgiveness!! God I love your eyes!! :kiss:

I guess I could share, but it was yummy.
 
nothing to tell really. I have a kid who is 5 and a half, so 5 years ago he was a baby. Hubby was a stay at home dad while I worked, thus I regularly pumped for the bottles. I pumped for about 2 years. At first, it was a little awkward as I was in a room with 2 other people and an open floor plan. However it was a man and a woman both in their 50s, and I discussed it with them and both were fine with me just continuing to work and pump hands free. After about 6 months, the person with the highest level of seniority (and the best office) in my department left. The person with the next highest seniority already had an ok office, and the man I shared an office with was next up, so he moved out to the best private office, thus just me and the other woman. then a month later, the other guy with his own office left. the woman had seniority over me, but as an office, the one we shared was better, so I moved to the smaller one. but yes for 7 months I had a pumping audience.

oh, the company did create a pumping room while I was on maternity leave, however the only key to the building I couldn't have was an HR key, and they made it in HR requiring an HR key. I work longer hours than HR. If I had a cubical, I would have used the proper room, as way more people to seek the go ahead from. However, I think my coworkers actually liked it. Not in a pervy way, but because that made an hour a day total that I locked our door and put a sign on it so people couldn't come in. Thus they got an extra hour a day in peace lol.

As for why I don't have an office now. OK, they did a ton of layoffs and restructuring, several departments were closed completely, mine they had gutted down to only me (I had the most versatile skill set plus the lowest seniority, thus the lowest paid, so biggest bang for their buck) . Well a year or so after that, they closed mine, but determined they needed to reopen on closed prior with a single person. So I moved to that position. It is not an office level position (I took a 5k a year paycut, but they gave me 30k severance package from my old department, either way I was getting the 30k and not working in the department anymore, just could be unemployed or apply for open positions) Initially, they let me keep my office, local was completely ok with it. But several months later corporate said no, while it worked for us in our building, it set a precedence they didn't want to set because other buildings, same position, wouldn't have an office due to space. Thus I was permitted to pick any cubical, anywhere in the building. I picked an out of the way area, a back corner cube in that area



I think my imagination is getting the better of me on this. Combining the kknowledge that you enjoy being naughty at work with the thought of you lactating and pumping has put together a great fantasy! Hidden vibrators, dripping nipples, unlocked doors, the thrill of bring caught but blaming the mechanical whir sounds on your pump as you clench your thighs tight, rocking your hips into your chair 😏
 
haha, I am sure you will get right on that. lol



well thank you. yeah what can I say, things move quickly around me.



nothing to tell really. I have a kid who is 5 and a half, so 5 years ago he was a baby. Hubby was a stay at home dad while I worked, thus I regularly pumped for the bottles. I pumped for about 2 years. At first, it was a little awkward as I was in a room with 2 other people and an open floor plan. However it was a man and a woman both in their 50s, and I discussed it with them and both were fine with me just continuing to work and pump hands free. After about 6 months, the person with the highest level of seniority (and the best office) in my department left. The person with the next highest seniority already had an ok office, and the man I shared an office with was next up, so he moved out to the best private office, thus just me and the other woman. then a month later, the other guy with his own office left. the woman had seniority over me, but as an office, the one we shared was better, so I moved to the smaller one. but yes for 7 months I had a pumping audience.

oh, the company did create a pumping room while I was on maternity leave, however the only key to the building I couldn't have was an HR key, and they made it in HR requiring an HR key. I work longer hours than HR. If I had a cubical, I would have used the proper room, as way more people to seek the go ahead from. However, I think my coworkers actually liked it. Not in a pervy way, but because that made an hour a day total that I locked our door and put a sign on it so people couldn't come in. Thus they got an extra hour a day in peace lol.

As for why I don't have an office now. OK, they did a ton of layoffs and restructuring, several departments were closed completely, mine they had gutted down to only me (I had the most versatile skill set plus the lowest seniority, thus the lowest paid, so biggest bang for their buck) . Well a year or so after that, they closed mine, but determined they needed to reopen on closed prior with a single person. So I moved to that position. It is not an office level position (I took a 5k a year paycut, but they gave me 30k severance package from my old department, either way I was getting the 30k and not working in the department anymore, just could be unemployed or apply for open positions) Initially, they let me keep my office, local was completely ok with it. But several months later corporate said no, while it worked for us in our building, it set a precedence they didn't want to set because other buildings, same position, wouldn't have an office due to space. Thus I was permitted to pick any cubical, anywhere in the building. I picked an out of the way area, a back corner cube in that area



hope you had fun catching up.

I was like a kid in a candy store
 
My needle must be stuck Justa still getting Lust and Coveting a wife.

MMM ice cream on some pie would be good :nana:
 
I think my imagination is getting the better of me on this. Combining the kknowledge that you enjoy being naughty at work with the thought of you lactating and pumping has put together a great fantasy! Hidden vibrators, dripping nipples, unlocked doors, the thrill of bring caught but blaming the mechanical whir sounds on your pump as you clench your thighs tight, rocking your hips into your chair 😏

i was well behaved in the shared office, less so in my private office

Is so much pleasure really a sin?

well I guess that depends who you ask

Just awesome toys you get to play with......

the awesome toys came later

You look delicious as a sundie.
thanks. though it was cake frosting (out of whipped cream)

I was like a kid in a candy store
glad you enjoyed

My needle must be stuck Justa still getting Lust and Coveting a wife.

MMM ice cream on some pie would be good :nana:

that does sound good. and lol, lust will come later

This is so much fun....
I had a blast

Loved it. Need a new bottle of sauce though.
thanks. I know. Out of whipped cream, almost out of chocolate sauce. I was unprepared

I wish I could do this, jealousy is my name.
lol. it really isn't that entertaining most of the time. Envy will come later, we all feel it about something.
 
Talk about office politics and corporate meddling. Never understood why they have to get involved. Opinion on government is similar. Less is more. Regardless, one of my fantasies involve having fun in an office.
 
Thank you for the Monday movie... always a treat... looks so yummy... and the toppings looked good too!!:devil:
 
You still looked good enough to eat.
Well that is generally a goal of mine


Talk about office politics and corporate meddling. Never understood why they have to get involved. Opinion on government is similar. Less is more. Regardless, one of my fantasies involve having fun in an office.

Well, how I amuse myself, when people come from corporate, which generally means they are here to screw someone over, I remind myself when he is here screwing us, someone is at his house screwing his wife. Then I picture it in exquisite detail. That makes it better.

As for office sex, yes many times, and a few months ago I did share that trapped naked under a desk during a meeting story. Was awesome.

Thank you for such a full answer, you put me to shame for just taking life as it came.

Haha be careful of what you ask me, I do have a whole mess of screwed up stories that I don't usually share with you all lol.

Thank you for the Monday movie... always a treat... looks so yummy... and the toppings looked good too!!:devil:

Thank you. Was yummy

I would love to be the one licking that off of you sweetie
Kisses
Kaz

I could have used the help.

lol. The things you do for us. ;)

Well it gives me something to do that is different. Maybe it makes me laugh, maybe it turns me on, but as I get older I have started to run low on inspiration on weird randomness to break up my day. There are only so many internet lists too, and I ran through them. This made me laugh.
 
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