No room for the voices in my head

[BiscuitHammer]

Because people are always bellerin' in PMs and reviews about what I need to do next in a story, or else.

My Muses are finding it very crowded and feel threatened, they told me so.

Think of the 1964 movie 'Zulu', which I believe was Michael Caine's first big role. In the movie, which concerns the Battle of Rorke's Drift, 150 mostly drunken Welsh soldiers must fight off 4,000 Zulus, wave-after-wave of crazed warriors and their terrifying battle-cries.

And after each assault, the British soldiers are forced a little farther back into their compound, getting more cramped and desperate.

And this is how my Muses say they are feeling, with the relentless press of unbidden voices.

This does, of course (for me, anyway), bring on images of young Greek maidens in diaphanous robes, holding a perimeter of burlap sacks while firing Martini-Henry rifles at oncoming hordes of thirsty smut readers, calling out for ammo and singing 'Men of Harlech'.

That's SO going in my parody story.

Now, granted, I don't have 150 Muses, nor do I have 4,000 Smut-Zulus to fight off, but the principle applies. It's somewhat irksome to get peoples demanding "DO THIS WITH THESE CHARACTERS I LIKE OR I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND GIVE YOU ONLY 1'S!!!" and other peoples shrieking "IF YOU DO THIS I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND NEVER READ YOU AGAIN AND GIVE YOU ONLY 1'S!!!"

And yes, I have indeed invoked the Ivan Drago Clause of 'I WRITE FOR ME!' on many occasions, but I freely admit, I'm happy to receive feedback and constructive criticism. Unfortunatement, you cannot get those things in PM or as Comments, without also enduring the screeching demands of the parched and thirsty mob.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Calliope: (leaning on sacks and shooting at Smut-Zulus) "Dammit! I'm out of ammo! Erato! Where the Hades is the box with the ammunition in it?!"

Erato: (looking up from nearby while between Terpsichore's thighs, her chin glistening) "Iono."

Calliope: "YOU'RE ON AMMO DUTY, YOU DEMIURGIC DUMBASS! QUIT CHOWING DOWN AND BRING ME BULLETS!!!"

Thalia: (calling out) "They're attacking a different wall now!"

Calliope: "Which wall?"

Thalia: "The Fourth Wall!"

*ba-dum-tsssss!*

Aoide: (drunk and singing atop the sack wall) "Men of Harlech, lie ye dreaming, can't ye see their falchions gleaming!"

(she stops singing as a broad-bladed spear punches through her torso. She looks down in at the gory red hole in astonishment, reaching in and wiggling her fingers out her back)

Calliope: "WELL DONE, GENIUS! THAT DRESS WAS A RENTAL! THE DRY-CLEANING COMES OUT OF YOUR PAY!!!"

Melpomene: (sobbing and reloading) "We don't get paid, we're Muses! We just suffer! Everything is tragedy and suffering!"

Rhodia: (firing her rifle) "You really need to stop hanging out and having casual sex with Sophocles, dude. You're not even his mom."

Smut-Zulus: (storming over the wall) "ZULUZULUZULUZULUZULUZULU!"

Calliope: "BAYONETS!!!!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, not sure where all of that came from, but perhaps it is in some twisted way indicative of how my Muses feel- 1) about being stuck in my head as MY Muses, and 2) how annoyed they are by the people constantly PMing and bitching about what I need to do next. I have a big skull, but there's not THAT much lease space.

I think I was venting about free smut consumers capriciously making demands. Me being me, I need to make it funny. So let's run with that.

This is what happens when I'm bored at work and get annoyed about PMs and Comments.

Keep your stick on the ice!

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

Alright, I'm convinced. I just submitted a story, so I'm gonna take the night off from writing and read some BiscuitHammer.

Oh my, where to start?

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Oh my, where to start?

You poor bastich.

Well, if you're looking for warped, try either 'Miracle On RR34' or 'Time Rider' in Humour/Satire. Yeah, my humour runs through everything, but those two are around the bend where even Creedence Clearwater can't find them...

 

[nosebone]

I know your pain

Biscuithammer: I feel your pain. I've been besieged myself by Zulu-esque readers that are quite vociferous in their suggestions on stories. Often to a point that I've given said stories a pregnant pause in hopes that passions subside. I long to throw smoke or light a strobe and retreat to my bunker, hopeful that the B-52 strike I called in will decimate their numbers. I know in my heart that it won't. They'll be back in greater numbers the next night, probing the perimeter and looking for weaknesses. Write your own tales I say to them. Let me cock my own up by myself.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Since my parody story will be a (selectively) scathing romp across the backsides of thirsty, entitled readers, a B-52 strike does carry some appeal, admittedly. And lots of napalm.

 

[nosebone]

Since my parody story will be a (selectively) scathing romp across the backsides of thirsty, entitled readers, a B-52 strike does carry some appeal, admittedly. And lots of napalm.

Yes sir. Snake eyes and napalm always.

Fair winds sir.

 

[TxRad]

The voices in my head are the reasons I write. Characters, characters, characters. My Muse carries a chair and a whip most of the time. If I get the story right, the voices wander away muttering to themselves only to be replaced by another plot bunny carrying another load of characters. A never ending battle.

 

[_Lynn_]

The voices in my head are the reasons I write. Characters, characters, characters. My Muse carries a chair and a whip most of the time. If I get the story right, the voices wander away muttering to themselves only to be replaced by another plot bunny carrying another load of characters. A never ending battle.

I'm glad I don't have muses.

 

[Hypoxia]

My story-voices haven't been insistent enough lately. Better whip-em into shape. Or muzzle the contra-voices reminding me of problems. I obsess over odd music and shit in order to distract myself from those problem voices. Reality is a bit much at times. But my story-voices keep whispering in the background. They may have their chance in a couple months.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

If I get the story right, the voices wander away muttering to themselves only to be replaced by another plot bunny carrying another load of characters.

Feckin' plot bunnies. I've twisted and mutated mine into sexy, leggy plot-bunnies, so at least they're fun to look at when they dump off ideas and characters.

And the demanding reader/Zulu comparison was unfair to Zulus, if I'm objective; just necessary for the Muse Siege analogy moment. There are days the readers remind me more of the Bugs from Starship Troopers, just without a Brain-Bug. :/

 

[Gentleman_G]

I'm not so sure about rioting muses, but so far PM's have been scarce for me, so not much for me on that front. Then again, I haven't been out there on the battlefield for more than a few weeks or so, so I'd guess not many readers have found me yet.

As for 'voices in your head', well, that's actually how I ended up here, by finding the story Mike, his sisters, and the voice in his head. Which is kind of appropriate with your thread-title

As for my own voices-in-the-head, I share Tex' feeling there. The only voices I hear are my characters telling me that I should write more, throwing me plot bunnies, new scenes, new encounters and telling me how they feel. Listen to that long enough and they'll drive you crazy - or well, crazier than one might already be.
Funny thing about that ... once the story is finished in my head and I've written the whole part down, they seem to disappear. I guess they're living the life I've written them by then. Sometimes one of them returns and demands a sequel because he got bored with his/her life and I'm like: Weren't you happily living ever after? Did I do such a bad job on it? And most of the time I end up re-reading and wondering how the hell I could have written such a crappy story. No wonder they come back to me.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

As for 'voices in your head', well, that's actually how I ended up here, by finding the story Mike, his sisters, and the voice in his head. Which is kind of appropriate with your thread-title .

After reading JT6OU, I was convinced the voice was an aneurysm for quite some time... :/

 

[Antryg_Windrose]

Can I borrow some voices? Mine are whispering, gossiping among themselves.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Can I borrow some voices? Mine are whispering, gossiping among themselves.

I could loan some of my muses. I doubt you want the Smut-Zulus that are besieging my cranial grape...

 

[Handley_Page]

Because people are always bellerin' in PMs and reviews about what I need to do next in a story, or else.

My Muses are finding it very crowded and feel threatened, they told me so.

Think of the 1964 movie 'Zulu', which I believe was Michael Caine's first big role. In the movie, which concerns the Battle of Rorke's Drift, 150 mostly drunken Welsh soldiers must fight off 4,000 Zulus, wave-after-wave of crazed warriors and their terrifying battle-cries.

Keep your stick on the ice!

As most of those "South Wales Borderers" had signed the Pledge, I think it's a little unfair to allege that they were 'mostly drunken'. In fact, the family of Private Hook were most critical in the film, as Hook did not drink at all.

Can I borrow some voices? Mine are whispering, gossiping among themselves.

Mine seem to spend their time in Elocution, declamatory prose or arguing among themselves (when they can be bothered to meet up).
.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

As most of those "South Wales Borderers" had signed the Pledge, I think it's a little unfair to allege that they were 'mostly drunken'. In fact, the family of Private Hook were most critical in the film, as Hook did not drink

I'll admit, that line was a plant. I wanted to know if anyone else was a huge fan of the movie and the history behind it. Well done! I salute you, good sir!

Wanna sing Men Of Harlech with me now?

 

[beachbum1958]

I did have a Muse, but only a very small one, and she left some time ago to go and bat her eyes at BiscuitHammer, muttering something about 'wasting her fucking time, she could be humping shepherd-boys instead of listening to her voice echoing in my head...'

The only carping voice I hear these days is the one telling me I should contract a virulent social disease and hang myself for writing the filth I write. I have no answer to that except 'Thank you Mother, your comments are duly noted, keep taking the Xanax.'

 

[BiscuitHammer]

I did have a Muse, but only a very small one, and she left some time ago to go and bat her eyes at BiscuitHammer, muttering something about 'wasting her fucking time, she could be humping shepherd-boys instead of listening to her voice echoing in my head...'

I'm a shepherd-boy? Why am I always the last to know? >:/

 

[Handley_Page]

I'll admit, that line was a plant. I wanted to know if anyone else was a huge fan of the movie and the history behind it. Well done! I salute you, good sir!

Wanna sing Men Of Harlech with me now?

OK.
All together now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSEU5zHgcTc

To my mind, it's one of the three best 'battle' films ever made ( the others being 'Battle of Britain', and 'Tora Tora Tora' )

 

[beachbum1958]

OK.
All together now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSEU5zHgcTc

To my mind, it's one of the three best 'battle' films ever made ( the others being 'Battle of Britain', and 'Tora Tora Tora' )

You should visit the the regimental Museum of The Royal Welsh at Brecon, you can see some of the VC's won at Rorke's Drift, Bromhead's service pistol and sabre, sword-belt and bayonet frog, and diorama's of the battle itself. iIt's a bit pricey (£5 entrance) but I thought it was worth it just to see actual artifacts and souvenirs of the battle.

 

[R. Richard]

If you want to know of the battle of Rorke's Drift read this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Rorke's_Drift

 

[SimonDoom]

Zulu is a good battle movie. It's fun watching Michael Caine affecting a posh British accent in place of his usual cockney one. I believe that was his first big role.

 

[Captainnumnuts]

Because people are always bellerin' in PMs and reviews about what I need to do next in a story, or else.

My Muses are finding it very crowded and feel threatened, they told me so.

Think of the 1964 movie 'Zulu', which I believe was Michael Caine's first big role. In the movie, which concerns the Battle of Rorke's Drift, 150 mostly drunken Welsh soldiers must fight off 4,000 Zulus, wave-after-wave of crazed warriors and their terrifying battle-cries.

And after each assault, the British soldiers are forced a little farther back into their compound, getting more cramped and desperate.

And this is how my Muses say they are feeling, with the relentless press of unbidden voices.

This does, of course (for me, anyway), bring on images of young Greek maidens in diaphanous robes, holding a perimeter of burlap sacks while firing Martini-Henry rifles at oncoming hordes of thirsty smut readers, calling out for ammo and singing 'Men of Harlech'.

That's SO going in my parody story.

Now, granted, I don't have 150 Muses, nor do I have 4,000 Smut-Zulus to fight off, but the principle applies. It's somewhat irksome to get peoples demanding "DO THIS WITH THESE CHARACTERS I LIKE OR I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND GIVE YOU ONLY 1'S!!!" and other peoples shrieking "IF YOU DO THIS I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND NEVER READ YOU AGAIN AND GIVE YOU ONLY 1'S!!!"

And yes, I have indeed invoked the Ivan Drago Clause of 'I WRITE FOR ME!' on many occasions, but I freely admit, I'm happy to receive feedback and constructive criticism. Unfortunatement, you cannot get those things in PM or as Comments, without also enduring the screeching demands of the parched and thirsty mob.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Calliope: (leaning on sacks and shooting at Smut-Zulus) "Dammit! I'm out of ammo! Erato! Where the Hades is the box with the ammunition in it?!"

Erato: (looking up from nearby while between Terpsichore's thighs, her chin glistening) "Iono."

Calliope: "YOU'RE ON AMMO DUTY, YOU DEMIURGIC DUMBASS! QUIT CHOWING DOWN AND BRING ME BULLETS!!!"

Thalia: (calling out) "They're attacking a different wall now!"

Calliope: "Which wall?"

Thalia: "The Fourth Wall!"

*ba-dum-tsssss!*

Aoide: (drunk and singing atop the sack wall) "Men of Harlech, lie ye dreaming, can't ye see their falchions gleaming!"

(she stops singing as a broad-bladed spear punches through her torso. She looks down in at the gory red hole in astonishment, reaching in and wiggling her fingers out her back)

Calliope: "WELL DONE, GENIUS! THAT DRESS WAS A RENTAL! THE DRY-CLEANING COMES OUT OF YOUR PAY!!!"

Melpomene: (sobbing and reloading) "We don't get paid, we're Muses! We just suffer! Everything is tragedy and suffering!"

Rhodia: (firing her rifle) "You really need to stop hanging out and having casual sex with Sophocles, dude. You're not even his mom."

Smut-Zulus: (storming over the wall) "ZULUZULUZULUZULUZULUZULU!"

Calliope: "BAYONETS!!!!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, not sure where all of that came from, but perhaps it is in some twisted way indicative of how my Muses feel- 1) about being stuck in my head as MY Muses, and 2) how annoyed they are by the people constantly PMing and bitching about what I need to do next. I have a big skull, but there's not THAT much lease space.

I think I was venting about free smut consumers capriciously making demands. Me being me, I need to make it funny. So let's run with that.

This is what happens when I'm bored at work and get annoyed about PMs and Comments.

Keep your stick on the ice!

Write for yourself! I see you don't need to be told that. But yes, ignore all the other stuff because even though you might have a fan base, write it for YOU and don't worry about the negative stuff or all those other voices dictating how you should do your thing. Objective, unbiased opinions are definitely helpful, but not the ones who aren't contributing to the story in a constructive manner. Don't let the PMs and comments stick in your head.

Write whatever it is you write w/out feeling you have to compete or please anyone. Your fans will follow. You'll find an audience. Even if their negative and personalizing it - at least you know they read it.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Write whatever it is you write w/out feeling you have to compete or please anyone. Your fans will follow. You'll find an audience. Even if their negative and personalizing it - at least you know they read it.

The number of followers I have vs the number of suckheads who wonk and whine and scream and threaten is suspicious. Why follow me if you're just gonna bitch? >:/

 

[Captainnumnuts]

The number of followers I have vs the number of suckheads who wonk and whine and scream and threaten is suspicious. Why follow me if you're just gonna bitch? >:/

Sorry? I didn't realize I was doing that. I won't post to you anymore. One less voice to worry about.