Millipede Bugs The Astronaut Part Two.

[PrevertOne]

Well, after some years, I finally finished The Millipede Bugs The Astronaut https://www.literotica.com/s/the-millipede-bugs-the-astronaut-pt-02 I wish to thank Todger 65 for his edit. Feedback is appreciated

 

[AwkwardMD]

I wanted to review this for you, but the humor doesn't work for me.

That both is, and is not, a criticism. Obviously, people have different tastes in humor. I would never expect everyone to get my humor, so I would never hold it against someone else for making jokes that aren't my style. You're doing your thing and that's great.

But it's also the only thing your doing here. This was a one-note story. It was an alliterative-laden ode to B horror movies of the late 50's and early 60's and not a whole lot else. There was a sex scene followed by surreal exposition, and then an allusion to more sex in the near future. That's not a lot, so if the one thing you're bringing to the table doesn't work for the reader then the reader is gone.

A brief look at your catalog of stories says you are doing what you love. It's hard for me to come in, then, and be like "Do more things!" You should do what you love.

 

[lovecraft68]

I wanted to review this for you, but the humor doesn't work for me.

That both is, and is not, a criticism. Obviously, people have different tastes in humor. I would never expect everyone to get my humor, so I would never hold it against someone else for making jokes that aren't my style. You're doing your thing and that's great.

But it's also the only thing your doing here. This was a one-note story. It was an alliterative-laden ode to B horror movies of the late 50's and early 60's and not a whole lot else. There was a sex scene followed by surreal exposition, and then an allusion to more sex in the near future. That's not a lot, so if the one thing you're bringing to the table doesn't work for the reader then the reader is gone.

A brief look at your catalog of stories says you are doing what you love. It's hard for me to come in, then, and be like "Do more things!" You should do what you love.

Only the author knows for sure, but I felt the alliteration was part of the B-movie homage. The old posters and also B-horror comics from that era, especially by marvel were full of alliteration

Or...that's just how they write.

In general I agree, not a whole lot going on, but I'm enough of a shlock fan to get what they were going for.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Only the author knows for sure, but I felt the alliteration was part of the B-movie homage. The old posters and also B-horror comics from that era, especially by marvel were full of alliteration

Oh, I thought the same. I mentioned it because I thought the author did it well. Even if I don't like it, I can respect that it's done well within the chosen style.

 

[PrevertOne]

Well, it wasn't meant to be anything other than what you see. It's an early story of mine that I left off writing for some years, due to various distractions. When I decided to finish it, I kept it simple and straightforward. It was more about trying to come up with jokes. Real deep thanks for the feedback ^_^

Oh, I thought the same. I mentioned it because I thought the author did it well. Even if I don't like it, I can respect that it's done well within the chosen style.

 

[PrevertOne]

Assessment.

Well, it's obvious the story landed with a thud. I'm slightly disappointed but I don't consider this one of my best efforts. I'm thinking the humor didn't go over very well, indicating a general response similar to Awkward. The only two votes, thus far, are polar opposites. The second vote could be a one bomb to bring down the five. The story's done, at least.

Well, it wasn't meant to be anything other than what you see. It's an early story of mine that I left off writing for some years, due to various distractions. When I decided to finish it, I kept it simple and straightforward. It was more about trying to come up with jokes. Real deep thanks for the feedback ^_^

 

[AwkwardMD]

You're a talented writer. You clearly have a gift for words. The sex was pretty niche-y, but it was functional and clear. If people don't like the style, that's on them and not you.

Keep writing, and always write what you love.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Let me clarify that. This is a pitch-perfect homage to the style of Roger Corman and Ed Wood. You should feel very proud of that.

 

[PrevertOne]

Thank you very much Awkward, and you're a damn good reviewer The story seems to be doing much better on Hentai Foundry for some reason.

Let me clarify that. This is a pitch-perfect homage to the style of Roger Corman and Ed Wood. You should feel very proud of that.