Bored at work, so I'll bug y'all...

[BiscuitHammer]

One would think patrolling the bridge and corridors of a starship could keep my attention. But, not tonight.

Anyhoo...

What can happen in a story that sort of draws you out of it? Y'know, you're right in there, fully a part of the action whatever it happens to be, and then the author does something that snaps you out of the moment, and you find yourself back in the real world, feeling somewhat bereft and cheated?

I've gotten to the place where spelling mistakes no longer really bug me (unless they're constant, like every other word). I'm also pretty good about not allowing grammar inconsistencies to bother me, as long as I know where the author meant to go.

What DOES snap me out of a story, however, is when the author clearly does not understand anatomy.

'He put his fingers inside her clit.'

Unless the female is some reeeeeeally weird alien, where that is somehow possible, then yeah, those are the kind of things that make me close a story and search for a different one.

What knocks you out of the story and makes you quit in frustration?

 

[UghOkay]

I will bail on a story if a young character references old ass movies and TV shows. 18 year old girls aren't watching Matlock and John Wayne movies. Some authors need to do a better job of making young characters sound young and not like 50 year old men with titties and a pussy.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

I will bail on a story if a young character references old ass movies and TV shows. 18 year old girls aren't watching Matlock and John Wayne movies. Some authors need to do a better job of making young characters sound young and not like 50 year old men with titties and a pussy.

I raised my cousins for ten years, and the girl has a pretty solid grounding in classic movies and TV shows. BUUUUUUUUT, you are right, if an author is going to write that stuff in, they'd best make it convincing. And most don't, or can't.

 

[NotWise]

One would think patrolling the bridge and corridors of a starship could keep my attention. But, not tonight.

Anyhoo...

What can happen in a story that sort of draws you out of it? Y'know, you're right in there, fully a part of the action whatever it happens to be, and then the author does something that snaps you out of the moment, and you find yourself back in the real world, feeling somewhat bereft and cheated?

Per an earlier thread, I'm a terrible reader. It takes little at all to bounce me out of a story.

Pacing is a problem. Construction and content have to balance with the pace.

I don't ever need measurements. A cup size is all it takes for me to leave.

Is any character a giggling idiot? I'm gone.

Simple stereotypes? I stopped reading.

Grammar, syntax, abused metaphors, most any simile, hackneyed story lines (Mom sits son's lap and...)

Too many commas. Really, too many commas. I stop and wonder what that comma is supposed to be telling me and then I forgot what I read.

There are so many things.

What keeps my attention:

Characters who are well-constructed at the the beginning and who develop with the story.

Events that grow the story.

The feeling of being in the place and with the events of the story.

Meaningful dialog that helps tell the story.

Conflict and resolution.

And on and on.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Per an earlier thread, I'm a terrible reader. It takes little at all to bounce me out of a story.

Stupid characters. Why would anyone write a story with stupid characters? Unless, of course, that's all they can write.


Too many commas. I stop and wonder what that comma is supposed to be telling me.

The resurging popularity of the Oxford Comma thanks to memes has caused many tantrums in casual readers, I've found. I've always Oxforded the ever-living shite out of my stories, but that's because I'm Canadian, so...

I'm assuming it's not the Oxford Comma you have a beef with.

 

[UghOkay]

I raised my cousins for ten years, and the girl has a pretty solid grounding in classic movies and TV shows. BUUUUUUUUT, you are right, if an author is going to write that stuff in, they'd best make it convincing. And most don't, or can't.

Some shows and movies are believable. Golden Girls is still relevant. Ditto to John Hughes movies. But these authors usually go for the "There's no fucking way an 18 year old would even know that existed" choice.

And you're right about them not making it convincing. I would be a lot less annoyed if it was presented as some quirky thing and not something young people just like.

It would really do some authors some good to watch more relevant TV shows and pay attention to how young people talk on social media.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Some shows and movies are believable. Golden Girls is still relevant. Ditto to John Hughes movies. But these authors usually go for the "There's no fucking way an 18 year old would even know that existed" choice.

Thanks to my quirky ass, my cousin loves Buster Keaton movies. I got her started on them when she was around 5 or 6, along with other silent movies. I made sure that for every modern show they watched, they saw something I deemed 'classic' too. But I'm a pain in the ass that way.

 

[NotWise]

The resurging popularity of the Oxford Comma thanks to memes has caused many tantrums in casual readers, I've found. I've always Oxforded the ever-living shite out of my stories, but that's because I'm Canadian, so...

I'm assuming it's not the Oxford Comma you have a beef with.

No, the Oxford (or Harvard) comma ain't my problem. It's the meaningless commas that people insert into their sentences that confuse me.

Also, my post went up prematurely--something having to do with keystrokes that meant nothing to me, but meant something to the software. My post was edited before I read your question.

 

[JasonClearwater]

No, the Oxford (or Harvard) comma ain't my problem. It's the meaningless commas that people insert into their sentences that confuse me.

Also, my post went up prematurely--something having to do with keystrokes that meant nothing to me, but meant something to the software. My post was edited before I read your question.

Reading your list... do you find much on Lit that holds your attention? Conflict and resolution? Characters? NO ONE's allowed be a giggling idiot? Harsh, mahn.

Reminds me of Stewie asking Bryan how his novel's going:

Stewie: Got somethin' new to write about now. You know? Maybe a, maybe a main character gets into a relationship and suffers a little heartbreak? Somethin' like what... what you've just been through? Draw from real life experience? Little, little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story? Make the characters a little more three-dimensional? Little, uh, richer experience for the reader? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? Oh, I look forward to reading it.

[Family Guy, in case anyone's wondering who 'Stewie and Bryan' are]

 

[BiscuitHammer]

I don't ever need measurements. A cup size is all it takes for me to leave.

lol, I'm sure Stacey Donovan would be devastated to hear that...

 

[NotWise]

Reading your list... do you find much on Lit that holds your attention? Conflict and resolution? Characters? NO ONE's allowed be a giggling idiot? Harsh, mahn.

Like I said, I'm a terrible reader. But yeah, there are stories that hold my attention. There are good authors and good stories here.

I should put a disclaimer on anything like this. My comments are from a writer's point of view and do not represent the readers that you need.

 

[JasonClearwater]

lol, I'm sure Stacey Donovan would be devastated to hear that...

Actually I second the cup size being a deal breaker. My first thought when I see that is, how the fuck do you KNOW she's a 36C? With such pinpoint accuracy?

When I see a woman, I can usually tell if she has breasts, and that they're attached to some kind of torso. But I couldn't tell you what size either her tits or her torso was if you threatened me with a back-to-back Transformers marathon.

 

[NotWise]

lol, I'm sure Stacey Donovan would be devastated to hear that...

No really. If that's the effort you put into characterization then I know what to expect from the rest or the story. Click.

But then that's me.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

No really. If that's the effort you put into characterization then I know what to expect from the rest or the story.

Most readers have tantrums if you don't paint a picture for them. I describe bodies of all types as a part of my narrative. I don't recall having used a girl with a flat chest yet, but I've had girls with smaller breasts.

Knowing me, if I girl had no breasts, there'd ending up being some plot point to it. I just think the whole breasts thing is weird. Australia has banned porn featuring women with A-cups, which, in my opinion is the STUPIDEST thing ever. It doesn't keep creepers with pedo vibes from wanking, but what they have done is told women with small breasts that they are not good enough to work in an industry they might have chosen. Their genetics mean they aren't good enough. Yikes. Talk about backwards.

 

[yukonnights]

Actually I second the cup size being a deal breaker. My first thought when I see that is, how the fuck do you KNOW she's a 36C? With such pinpoint accuracy?

When I see a woman, I can usually tell if she has breasts, and that they're attached to some kind of torso. But I couldn't tell you what size either her tits or her torso was if you threatened me with a back-to-back Transformers marathon.

To me it's too much of any precise physical descriptions. The stereotypical "perfect male and female" actually do not turn me on. But it must some authors, because it's pretty common. Once thier picture is painted in my mind though, I've been turned off and it's hard to keep reading.

I've been trying to use the lightest touch possible in describing character's looks because I know others must feel the same turn-off to my preferred perfect. I'm hoping to give just enough color that they can use their own brush to paint the image that suits them.

 

[Requiax]

Many of the examples already given bug me too.

Poor anatomical knowledge - I have a pet hate for writers using the word vagina to describe the totality of the female genitals (as in, “my skirt was so short, my vagina was on full show.”)

18-year-olds with the popular culture interests of the (much older) author, without it being noted on as quite exceptional (an aside, in years past I used to visit certain forums wherein some people were clearly older men pretending to be young women, they were incredibly easy to spot if you got them to talk about music or comedy, where they would suddenly have the same tastes as my parents...)

Overt description (“First let me tell you about myself” followed by a list of measurements).

Anything presented as “true” that blatantly isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with fiction and fantasy, and if it never happened, you don’t win any extra points with me pretending it did.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Measurements. Characters described in terms of their resemblance to celebrities. That "vagina" issue Requiax mentioned. Stories that don't bother creating any tension before getting into the sex.

Nonconsent stories where the author clearly doesn't realise that what they're writing is nonconsent.

 

[Polyacrylate]

One of my biggest pet peeves is strories that have a "matter of fact" nature to them.

These are stories where the events are described in a flat, detatched manner, usually in paragraphs that are long and blocky. Emotions and sensations are usually expressed in very few words, which, to me, creates the excitement of reading a high school text book. Dialogue is often wooden, or so oddly spaced throughout the wall of text that it can be hard to follow.

These sorts of stories absolutely drive me bonkers.

I also dislike stories featuring irritating or unlikable characters with whom we are supposed to sympathize... Characters who whine about their lack of good fortune, characters who are petty or mean to others for no reason... If it comes across as unintentional, it makes me wonder what kind of person the author is.

And my final complaint is stories that don't follow an internal logic. If you're writing a story about, say, a militant matriarchial society in an otherwise contempory world, that's fine, but some thought needs to be put in to how this society evolved. How did/does it deal with it's neighbors? How did it come to be? What social/scientific changes did it's arrival cause locally and globally? These don't have to be completely addressed in the story, but I like it when I can tell an author has thought through the logic of their setting and characters.

On the flip side, I love stories that use techniques like foreshadowing, flashbacks (I may have a bit of a problem with them...), and unreliable narrators.

 

[SimonDoom]

The thing that pulls me out of a story most quickly is really bad grammar. I can put up with some spelling and proofreading errors, but when the grammar is really bad I can't keep reading. If the author doesn't understand what a sentence is and mixes in (unintentionally) sentence fragments and awkward compound sentences I sometimes give up. Careless tense and POV shifting turns me off as well.

The first few paragraphs are very important. Too many stories start off "Let me tell you about me and my wife" or something like that, and I tend to skip a story that starts that way. I usually can tell three paragraphs in whether the author knows what he or she is doing. I probably read no more than 25% of stories I click on.

Too much narrative and not enough dialogue can make a story hard to read.

 

[SolarRay]

I usually scan the first few paragraphs for basic grammar and spelling requirements. If I see measurements, that's also a no-go for me.

I try to be an open-minded reader after that, but I hate to see any action right off the bat unless it's really plot-motivated. For example, if two characters are introduced for the first time in bed together at the tail end of a fuck, that's fine. However, if it's clear that the author has no intention of telling a story, and just wants to describe a sexual encounter, then it's not worth reading.

I've admittedly been one of those "vagina" authors in the past, but it still confuses me that people think it has anything to do with a poor understanding of anatomy. I have used it because I can't stand words like "vulva" and need variety of terminology, and also because it's so regularly used inaccurately in common parlance. Meaning, I don't care of someone calls a tomato a vegetable because it's comfortable colloquially, even if they're well aware of the fact that botanically it's a fruit. Still, okay. I'm working on this, and happy to accept that a lot of readers don't like it aesthetically so I'm trying to adapt.

Anyway, I think the number one thing that bothers me, if I decide to give the story a full read, is if the author just doesn't put any effort into developing their characters and building some real tension between them, before the payoff arrives.

It's like sex: so much more satisfying when a little foreplay comes first!

 

[NotWise]

I've admittedly been one of those "vagina" authors in the past, but it still confuses me that people think it has anything to do with a poor understanding of anatomy. I have used it because I can't stand words like "vulva" and need variety of terminology, and also because it's so regularly used inaccurately in common parlance.

I did some on-line research quite a while ago about how women refer to their own parts. While "vagina" is anatomically just the birth canal, women (in the US, anyway) commonly use the term for the whole genital area. In that usage it's pretty synonymous with "pussy."

Now, of course, the women will correct me.

 

[Alice_Rosaleen]

I have a few pet peeves when I'm reading. When a story starts in the middle of a sex scene and then the narrator says, oh wait, let me back up and tell you how this started, and then begins introducing the characters in the blandest way possible. The unnecessary usage of exclamation points! Women who are actually being raped but then they like it and want to continue their sexual relationship with their abuser. Men who are written like total losers but somehow have the sexual stamina of pornstars.
I don't expect perfection and it's fine if there are blurred lines or sex is the only plot, but at least add some motivation or conflict if only for the tension. That's part of what makes erotica erotic for me at least. And no, I don't expect the Coen brothers to direct my porn ;-)

 

[Gentleman_G]

Actually I second the cup size being a deal breaker. My first thought when I see that is, how the fuck do you KNOW she's a 36C? With such pinpoint accuracy?

I actually know a guy who can do that with a single glance. And he`s always right too! It`s probably the reason he`s still single, though. I suspect most women don`t like hearing that someone knows their exact cupsize when they talk with him.

I`m one of the people who gets seriously annoyed by bad grammar or spelling. It doesn`t matter if it`s consistent, but come on ... at least have the decency to give your story some dignity. If you`re bad at either grammar or spelling, seek an editor. It makes it so much nicer to read. Same goes for interpunction. I don`t care if you`re an advanced writer or not, but if you don`t have an idea where the dot (or do we call it a period?) or the comma is, out you go.
I know I`m not perfect - not having it as native language usually does that to you - but I believe I have at least a decent grasp of the language to be able to write something people won`t immediately discard. Well, aside from NotWise, that is. And electricblue if I keep using the ` as an apostrophe.
(I`m trying though. Sometimes.)

I`m not that bothered by cupsizes, since I have no clue what those measurements are. I believe I can distinguish an A-cup from a B-cup but that`s it. So when it`s a 36C, I think 'Oh, okay. I guess that means she has breasts somewhere in the C-range'. But to be honest I have little to no interest in learning that.

The 'Let me introduce myself' is a no-no for me as well. If an author needs to display a character sheet, post a picture. If not, write about that character so we can get an idea of who that character is.

For me, I enjoy reading stories with realistic - or at least believable - characters and a natural flow of the story. If people all of a sudden start humping without any reason, I roll my eyes and move on.

 

[RandyVicar]

What kills the magic? Needless exposition. I have a hard time reading a story that opens with three or four paragraphs of unimportant biographical material about the protagonist and his situation. Take your time and reveal the details.

What works? Dialog. Introduce your characters and draw me in. Start leaving clues and foreshadow what's to come. Tease me a bit.