Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Merry Christmas, Emerson, to you and yours.

Enjoy good people, good deeds, and good food.
 
Merry Christmas to all.

May all your reeds vibrate merrily, and your fipples be clear in the New Year!




Not to be a bummer or anything, but this is really important:

I Write Letters As Santa Claus

Companies hire writers to respond to kids' requests to Santa. Heartbreaking requests. Read-em and weep.


Both I (when I was a wee Em) and my children have received letters from Santa.

Canada Post has been accepting letters for Santa - postal code H0H 0H0 - for years, with retired postal workers and other volunteers handling St. Nick’s replies. Adds to to magic that is Christmas for the little ones.
 
Raise my glass to all of you! Merry Christmas!

Little rum, grating of nutmeg, Cheersy Christmas!



Merry Christmas, Em.

This is a lit classic, and a reminder that the holidays can be a really hard time of year for some folks. 💗:rose:

Merry Christmas Algao!

Remember to spread some goodwill and cheer to the shut ins, disenfranchised, and those that have that Sarah McLachlan SPCA song as the soundtrack to their life. :rose:



Merry Christmas, Emerson, to you and yours.

Enjoy good people, good deeds, and good food.

Merry Christmas thør! May you and SWMBO have a wonderful, warm Christmas, and christen the new countertops with a splash of gravy from a festive roast beast.
 
Remember to spread some goodwill and cheer to the shut ins, disenfranchised, and those that have that Sarah McLachlan SPCA song as the soundtrack to their life. :rose:

I am looking forward to a wonderful Christmas, surrounded by love and good cheer.

But I can't help but think of Christmas three years ago, far from family and friends, behind locked doors and gray walls. And of the women I knew there, many of whom are there still. Their Christmas dinner will be a couple of slices of processed turkey roll, with instant mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce from a can. There will be no tree, no strings of festive lights. Some will exchange meager gifts. Some will take solace in faith. Most will spend the holiday in quiet despair. A few will find hope in their hearts. I am free and far away, but they are my sisters, and I will think of them on Christmas Day.
 
Whatever your political stripe, whether celebrating with family, friends, or alone.
Whether you are in a house, trashy trailer, or posting from some tropical beach, using your phone.
To the heteros, the LBGTs, cross dressers, and the bathroom-confused,
Even the angry posters, who think this day just another, full of rage, and soaked in booze.
To the many beautiful contributors in the titty thread and those that offer praise,
And all the small minded folks who hate coloureds, Muslims, Canadians, and gays,
Even that shithead Busybooby, who gump now calls kike,
Christmas wishes to all of you on this Christmas Eve night.

Goodwill to the lovers of cheese, Bar-B-Q, and quality drinks,
And to those who think food not cooked in a microwave stinks.
Happy Christmas to Brits, Aussies, and the three decent Kiwis,
And all the Lit 'hotties', with their 5 o'clock shadow and tucked lil' wee-wees.
To the long-distance lovers, and those just looking for some chat on Kik,
The Blurt Bitches, yossi's ass, and aphro's amazing tits.
Tonight I even wish the Merriest of Christmases to Lit's latest goth,
Even with photoshopped mask, the dude just can't pull that look off.

Happy Ho-Ho-Ho to the alts, trolls, and the alts of the alts,
Manu and Laurel, who get little to no credit, but all of the fault.
And those who look for stories (it is always, always incest),
Even eeyore, who either figured it out, or gave it a rest.
The Scrooges, the grumps, shut-ins, and those with broken hearts,
Even the guy that always indents and posts all those fucking charts,
Merriest Christmas to the whole bloody lot of you cunts!
Here's hoping 2017 is better, and with less Hillary and Trump.

Merry Christmas Emerson!
 



...Happy Christmas to all,
and to all, a good night !
-Clement Moore




 
Merry Christmas thør! May you and SWMBO have a wonderful, warm Christmas, and christen the new countertops with a splash of gravy from a festive roast beast.

There was a little splash of beef stew on the counter, today.
 
A very merry Christmas indeed to all on the GB, and indeed to all who avoid it, and even those who actively loathe it. It is an exhausting time of year, and we should be so grateful that it is, because when it is not it will be because no friends or family claim our time.

May your hearts be full of love, your hearth full of crackling, merrily dancing fire, your oven full of delicious food, your house full of true friends and true family, and your inevitable hangovers and bouts of soul-searing indigestion be mitigated by the swift application of medicine, water, and a hand holding back your hair as you urge your oesophagus into the porcelain bowl.

This remains a special place, and perhaps I see that more now that I have less time on it. Bless you all who make it what it is. It may be diminished from former glories, full of (or insufficiently full of) politics, snide, bitter, empty, cruel, contemptible and pointless. But it can but hold a mirror to ourselves, and if we want it to be better we must be better.

Anyway: a truly special Christmas, and I mean that, to every single person who reads this.


Well said Des. Happy Christmas to you and yours, and may your wassail bowl always be brimming!



There was a little splash of beef stew on the counter, today.

Perfect!
 
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

~Clement Clarke Moore​
 
Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you all, big, fat, skinny, or small.
The Trumpsters, board lurkers, idealists and bigots, those who’ve gone AWOL,
You provocateurs, optimists, folks who post tits, all the unemployed,
The jaded GB vets, unsuspecting newbs, and those just here for the schadenfreude.


However you celebrate, all the best of the holidays to the motley collective,
I’m keeping this short - I can’t be arsed to type out a 2018 GB retrospective.
May you find and shine a light to scatter away any bleak, midwinter blues,
Celebrate life with your clan, delicious food, love of course, and some good booze.


If things don’t seem to be going your way and you’re feeling quite cursed,
Take a moment, look round these parts, see that things could always be worse.
I raise a glass to you fuckers, here’s to health, happiness, success, and good cheer,
All the very best to you and yours for Christmastime, and the coming New Year!



https://66.media.tumblr.com/a40cd5b068f6f40309160322fd5b2a69/tumblr_pjzk4bkjWW1tho4fro1_500.jpg
 
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East.
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus.
They have different religious beliefs.

They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday,
and so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there, mister Muslim!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Put down that book the Koran,
and here's some holiday wishes..
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass,
And fuckin' celebrate.

There is no holiday season,
In India, I've heard.
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd.

They never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about.
And that is why every December,
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there, mister Hinduist!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Drink eggnog and eat some beef,
And pass it to the missus..
*Hindu music*
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' birthday.
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
And fuckin' celebrate.

Now I've heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin.
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th,
All they do is eat a cake.
And that is why I go to Japan,
And walk around and say...

HEY THERE, mister Shintoist!
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
God is gonna kick your ass,
You infidelic pagan scum!
*Japanese music*
In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do.
So let's all rejoice for Jesus,
Merry Fuckin' Christmas, ta you.

On Christmas Day..
I travel around the world and say..
Daoists, Christians, Buddists,
and all you Atheists, too!
Merry Fuckin' Christma-aaaaas,
To yooo-oouuu!

*small clapping sound*

Thank you, Mr. Hat.
 
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