The Thin Line Between Love & Hate: Porn Edition

[Dr. Groove]

I don't think it's a leap to guess that a lot of men and women on Lit and the GB have viewed our share of porn. It's always been enjoyable and revealing to have a conversation with someone about porn. Pretty quickly you get to pet peeves and absolutes do's or absolute don'ts. Most hysterical to me are some of the non-sexual quirks.

So what do you love? What do you hate? What irritates the fuck out of you? What do you wish they'd finally pay attention to?

 

[Dr. Groove]

For instance - I can't stand it when they overdub voices, especially if they suck at it.

If it's really bad, it's almost valuable as comedy, but the evidence of such a low bar, and lack of effort, just makes it sad porn.

 

[Que]

Spitting looks and sounds unattractive to me I don't get the appeal.

Had a conversation about the way porn was heading towards Gonzo porn with my then wife.

What was interesting though was that we had talked about it and written about it...then at diifferent times things that we thought yuck, we ended up either doing or even filming.

The only example of that that comes immediately to mind was she had seen a picture where a woman it obviously been caned and was saying I like a good spanking but that just doesn't look fun at all. Months later, we had had a rather enthusiastic session and I had flipped her but with the tip of a belt which made a mark. it looked kind of cool so I made a whole series of marks like that. She thought it was pretty hot, in direct contrast to what how she thought she would feel about such marking.

 

[adrina]

I'm tired of the shaved crotches. And now the thin line of hair. Sure I get it, keep it trimmed and neat. But shaved entirely looks funny and it's not comfortable.

I'm also not a fan of the draconian body type approach. Stick thin gals especially. Like the last perfect pic or whatever thread we have on here. They're almost always model thin. Most women aren't, but that's "perfect". Heh.

And I swear to god if I never hear the word "panties" again I'll be a happy camper. It sounds inappropriate, to put it nicely.

 

[Not Normal]

Things that make me go to a different clip:
music in general, but especially "porn music."
foreign language
over acting
tons of plastic surgery
no sound

 

[pointless]

For instance - I can't stand it when they overdub voices, especially if they suck at it.

If it's really bad, it's almost valuable as comedy, but the evidence of such a low bar, and lack of effort, just makes it sad porn.

you need to watch better porn or at least newer porn. they've gotten a lot better at adr in recent years.

and the only peeve i can think of beyond heterosexuality is lighting. the more natural it feels the better. that's a good portion of the reason i like metart and their various labels. most of their people are good at at least making the lighting feel natural and that in turn just makes it all that much prettier.

 

[Dr. Groove]

you need to watch better porn or at least newer porn. they've gotten a lot better at adr in recent years.

and the only peeve i can think of beyond heterosexuality is lighting. the more natural it feels the better. that's a good portion of the reason i like metart and their various labels. most of their people are good at at least making the lighting feel natural and that in turn just makes it all that much prettier.

True - that's why this is the porn I don't watch. It's a no-go for me.

 

[pointless]

oh and shoes. just take the fucking things off. especially when the scene is on a bed. what kind of savage wears shoes in bed.

also, to contradict my earlier post one more time, in the plottier porn i watch i do hate it when someone's playing married and they can't even bother to put a fucking ring (any ring will do) on their fucking ring finger, but that's mostly just because of a fetish of mine, so whatever.

 

[Que]

I have always enjoyed reading your porn notes, pointless. I seriously think that you should do a porn review blog. I'd read it.

 

[MelissaBaby]

"vs."

I hate when they title clips something like "MILF vs. BBC" or some such nonsense.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I like the pixalated Japanese porn. But I have to turn the sound off to watch it.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm tired of the shaved crotches. And now the thin line of hair. Sure I get it, keep it trimmed and neat. But shaved entirely looks funny and it's not comfortable.

I'm also not a fan of the draconian body type approach. Stick thin gals especially. Like the last perfect pic or whatever thread we have on here. They're almost always model thin. Most women aren't, but that's "perfect". Heh.

And I swear to god if I never hear the word "panties" again I'll be a happy camper. It sounds inappropriate, to put it nicely.

Well, I'm a skinny panties-sayer, but I'm with you on the shaved thing.

Chicks in prison shave. Go figure.

 

[jaF0]

Like: Some kind of story leading up to each scene.
Dislike: Endless humping for no apparent reason.

I haven't see any new stuff. I haven't watched a movie of any kind in 5 years or more. Three that I used to like and have copies of somewhere around here:

I Do; Hypatia Lee
Beverly Hills Wives; Amber Lynn
American Pie; Arcadia Lake

One notable exception to the story line bit is Zazel with Sasha Vinni and several other Penthouse Pets. The visuals are like nothing I've ever seen in any other film.

 

[adrina]

Well, I'm a skinny panties-sayer, but I'm with you on the shaved thing.

Chicks in prison shave. Go figure.

Underwear, or undies for short. Hearing a grown man especially say the word "panties" turns me off faster than a light switch.

I would not have guessed about the women in prison shaving.

 

[jaF0]

oh and shoes. just take the fucking things off.

I've got a couple on VHS tapes (yeah, that's how old they are) that are a series of clips and outtakes. No story at all, nothing but disconnected scenes as they were shot before editing. In one of those, Amber Lynn is standing there undressing, struggling to stay upright in a pair that are probably 6 or 7 inches high. As she almost loses her balance a couple of times, she mutters 'I gonna fall out of these heels'.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Underwear, or undies for short. Hearing a grown man especially say the word "panties" turns me off faster than a light switch.

Well, some of us have daddy issues, and some of us don't.

I would not have guessed about the women in prison shaving.

Of course you wouldn't, you're a rational person. Most prisoners have no more than thirty dollars or so to spend every week, and your soap, shampoo, deodorant, tampons, etc. have to come out of that budget, besides any snacks or other items you might want. And some women spend that scarce cash on razors and shaving cream. Even if they don't go gay for the stay. Hell, some of them buy makeup and perfume and nail polish. Talk about internalizing the patriarchy!

And don't get me started on why disposable razors are allowed and hot sauce was classified as a dangerous substance.

 

[AngusBridie]

I'm gonna go with the Tons of plastic surgery thing too as Not Normal did.. There are others but I'll stick with that for now.

 

[adrina]

Well, some of us have daddy issues, and some of us don't.

I've never thought of "panties" vs "undies" in terms of daddy issues. (Ha see what I did there? )

Of course you wouldn't, you're a rational person. Most prisoners have no more than thirty dollars or so to spend every week, and your soap, shampoo, deodorant, tampons, etc. have to come out of that budget, besides any snacks or other items you might want. And some women spend that scarce cash on razors and shaving cream. Even if they don't go gay for the stay. Hell, some of them buy makeup and perfume and nail polish. Talk about internalizing the patriarchy!

And don't get me started on why disposable razors are allowed and hot sauce was classified as a dangerous substance.

Vanity and self care knows no bounds? I don't know... I'm only vain about a few things. Hair, skin and teeth. Whether I have rights to be or not. Although I am rather fond of my skin - I don't even like makeup for heavens sake.

You know that hot sauce can put out an eye right?

 

[MelissaBaby]

I've never thought of "panties" vs "undies" in terms of daddy issues. (Ha see what I did there? )



Vanity and self care knows no bounds? I don't know... I'm only vain about a few things. Hair, skin and teeth. Whether I have rights to be or not. Although I am rather fond of my skin - I don't even like makeup for heavens sake.

I think its not vanity so much as an attempt to maintain at least a semblance of normal life. Sticking to a normal routine can be a means to cope with an abnormal situation. I can understand that, although I didn't see it that way. I looked like Cousin It from the waist down by the time I went home.

You know that hot sauce can put out an eye right?

What, like a razor? In fact, something like that was why it was banned. Some crazy bitch poured tabasco on her cellmate's eyes while she was sleeping.

I think I missed my Frank's Hot Sauce more than I missed dick.

 

[adrina]

I think its not vanity so much as an attempt to maintain at least a semblance of normal life. Sticking to a normal routine can be a means to cope with an abnormal situation. I can understand that, although I didn't see it that way. I looked like Cousin It from the waist down by the time I went home.

I can see that. Although normalcy for me would be more mental than physical.

Just as long as you didn't braid it.

What, like a razor? In fact, something like that was why it was banned. Some crazy bitch poured tabasco on her cellmate's eyes while she was sleeping.

I think I missed my Frank's Hot Sauce more than I missed dick.

That's actually pretty much what I was thinking. That someone weaponized the hot sauce. Pepper spray in the eyes is a thing.

 

[MelissaBaby]

To segue back to the original subject: No, fellas, none of the correctional officers wore strap ons under their uniforms.

 

[Aglaopheme]

Spitting. I hate spitting, in porn, in life, in sex.

There's just no fucking call for that shit. Calm your fucking salivary glands arseholes you'rre ruining my porn.

Shoes, hooker heels in particular. For fucks sake, who even wears those ghastly things?

Poorly balanced sound. I'm really aurally stimulated, much more so than visually. I want to hear the man, his breath, his words, him coming. Not just the exaggerated and oh so fucking loud moans of the female.

That's it right there. There is absolutely nothing erotic about that.

 

[stickygirl]

Only one word worse than panties is pantyhose: the word sounds and ought to smell like my gran, bless her. Fortunately the word only gets used here by camp old queens in the LGBT. They are knickers

Yep, hate heels in bed: I mean who’s going to pay for the torn sheets?
Spitting - gross anywhere
Pointless non-ending humping
Shaving - ummm… well I’m not in prison
Snowballing ( I think I have this right because it’s gobbing come isn’t it? ) Guys, do you think you’re making some kind of ambrosia in your smelly gonad glands? I mean it’s polite to swallow to show r-e-a-l affection, but who really likes rice pud that smells of swimming pools?

and a request to porn makers everywhere: maybe, just maybe have your actors make some eye contact? Just now and again?

 

[pointless]

yeah, i've never been a fan of magic dildos. they're actually kinda why i just plain don't like dildos in my lesbian porn. well, that and in some scenes by shittier studios the presence of a dildo means i'm about to watch two straight girls attempt sex without actually touching each other and how the hell is that any fun?

i do like strapons and the occasional hitachi, though. i mean, as long as they know how to use them. watching two girls fuck slowly and clumsily with a loose strapon that keeps popping out while they both look bored and not at all aroused is fucking painful.

oddly, there's a similar issue in gay porn where the director is apparently so interested in getting a clean shot of peneration that they just don't let them actually get into it and that's a serious mood killer as well. just grab those hips and start pounding that ass already, you boring fucks.

 

[stickygirl]

Yea, those dick-going-in-at-an-angle for the camera view must be uncomfortable... which is why she is screaming I guess.

Which reminds me: has anyone fucked a guy with a bent knob? Like bent sideways not up and down curl?