Married people and cybersex/phone sex

[SamLaraCroft]

Do you think it's infidelity?

I think if you spend time having cybersex, phone sex, sexting, oral sex, it's all sex and if you're doing it with someone else other than your spouse you're being unfaithful. Spending time doing something sexual when you could be with your spouse is not fair in my opinion.

What's your opinion?

 

[o2baPrince]

Do you think it's infidelity?

I think if you spend time having cybersex, phone sex, sexting, oral sex, it's all sex and if you're doing it with someone else other than your spouse you're being unfaithful. Spending time doing something sexual when you could be with your spouse is not fair in my opinion.

What's your opinion?

Of course it's cheating, but what if the spouse has lost interest? Does that mean the other spouse has to go entirely without sex for the rest of their life? A little hidden cyber play would be better than losing a spouse and family, job, friends......

 

[screwher]

If there's no approval from the spouse then I believe it's cheating. But honestly it shouldn't be a deal breaker that ends an otherwise great marriage, like real contact infidelity would.

 

[HornyHal]

If there's no approval from the spouse then I believe it's cheating. But honestly it shouldn't be a deal breaker that ends an otherwise great marriage, like real contact infidelity would.

I know it's a tough point to view it from, but, what if I don't approve of my spouse not wanting to have sex as much as I do? Is this not a double edged sword? I know it doesn't validate what one does with cyber sex but it's not like we're going to rape our spouses. They don't give us a choice when they don't want sex, why should we give them one when we want to do something that satisfies our inner desires without physically breaking the bonds of marriage.

 

[scott6251]

I know it's a tough point to view it from, but, what if I don't approve of my spouse not wanting to have sex as much as I do? Is this not a double edged sword? I know it doesn't validate what one does with cyber sex but it's not like we're going to rape our spouses. They don't give us a choice when they don't want sex, why should we give them one when we want to do something that satisfies our inner desires without physically breaking the bonds of marriage.

good post

 

[live4thebj]

Do you think it's infidelity?

I think if you spend time having cybersex, phone sex, sexting, oral sex, it's all sex and if you're doing it with someone else other than your spouse you're being unfaithful. Spending time doing something sexual when you could be with your spouse is not fair in my opinion.

What's your opinion?

This is a very interesting question and due to both sides I have to say there is no right or wrong answer. When I was dating or married (not sure which) but I know it was when I was with my ex-wife I used to play blackjack on Yahoo and encountered some horny woman. We only had cybersex or maybe one or two I called but in the end it was all I a mind fuck that we both enjoyed.

Then one day I discover this site with all these webcam girls and several them were extremely hot so I signed up for an account; the ONLY porn site that I actually paid money for. I was constantly on there watching these girls doing their thing, one even impressed me by stuffing her panties in her pussy, and watching her push and pull the panties using kegels.

Not sure how it came into light about what I been doing but she was all upset and in tears and said I was cheating on her. I was adamant I wasn't because her and I watched porn after porn after porn. I saw no different in this other than the action was live. In the end we agreed to disagree and never did it again; well with her that is.

As far as oral and other forms of physical contact I agree it's cheating. However, I miss the BJ's I used to get from how they were done to how frequent I would get them. Honestly if I could have side action I would at this point even though I am engaged. But it would be strictly oral and she has to be REALLY good at sucking cock for me to risk this. I would return the favor and once we both came we would go our separate ways. Also as someone that never did a prostitute, even stopped a stripper from trying to suck my dick, I can say at this point if I was within driving distance of 2hrs or less from the bunny ranch, I would go there once a month for a good face fuck!

 

[Wandering11]

I agree

good post

it is a good post

 

[Experimemt626q]

I know it's a tough point to view it from, but, what if I don't approve of my spouse not wanting to have sex as much as I do? Is this not a double edged sword? I know it doesn't validate what one does with cyber sex but it's not like we're going to rape our spouses. They don't give us a choice when they don't want sex, why should we give them one when we want to do something that satisfies our inner desires without physically breaking the bonds of marriage.

I have friends that have ultimately gotten divorced over a difference of sexual appetite. It's really sad. On one hand, the satisfied person will say, "you're really going to give all this up because we don't have sex enough?" In my opinion, it is equally correct to flip that statement on it's head and say, "you are really going to give this up, rather than have sex with me more?"

I think hiding equates to cheating. If you would not do exactly what you are doing in the presence of your spouse, that is not a good sign. However... far be it from me to cast the first stone as I type this out right now.

Judge free zone here IMO, as this is a generally a very sex positive environment.

 

[live4thebj]

I was never the cheater type but I am in this category and now seeking a female to just have some oral action with each other but stay completely discreet. Sometimes people just reach their breaking point. You call it cheating, I call it scratching an itch.

 

[ShareOurDesires]

So I'll probably take a beating for this, but my wife has very little desire for sex anymore. As a result I have engaged in some cyber sex chats with a few women as well as role playing with guys in sharing my wife with them. Is it morally right? Probably not. Am I cheating knowing I get very little attention at home? Maybe. I'm just being honest here. This is a good conversation.

 

[live4thebj]

So I'll probably take a beating for this, but my wife has very little desire for sex anymore. As a result I have engaged in some cyber sex chats with a few women as well as role playing with guys in sharing my wife with them. Is it morally right? Probably not. Am I cheating knowing I get very little attention at home? Maybe. I'm just being honest here. This is a good conversation.

Get a Fleshlight; it does help take the edge off. Get it warm and wet first (not joking) and then tighten the bottom cap real tight. Feels like one of those BJ's where the woman is sucking really hard as you go up and down and get that sound when some air is released.

Also, if you don't mind some anal play: Aneros Vibe.

Sorry man I feel ya.

 

[chame1eon]

Do you think it's infidelity?

I think if you spend time having cybersex, phone sex, sexting, oral sex, it's all sex and if you're doing it with someone else other than your spouse you're being unfaithful. Spending time doing something sexual when you could be with your spouse is not fair in my opinion.

What's your opinion?

It depends on whether or not your so thinks it is. Same with sex irl IMO.

 

[KimGordon67]

Wild stab in the dark

Without wanting to sound like a wanker, I think it was probably this thread that inspired the question ... might provide a bit of context? I'm not trying to derail the thread though ... it's an interesting conversation.
(SLC - if you want to remove the link, let me know - I'm more than happy to.)

 

[pikmin1388]

Do you think it's infidelity?

I think if you spend time having cybersex, phone sex, sexting, oral sex, it's all sex and if you're doing it with someone else other than your spouse you're being unfaithful. Spending time doing something sexual when you could be with your spouse is not fair in my opinion.

What's your opinion?

But what if your partner will not have sex with you or indeed any intimacy? What if they leave you to meet every meed you have on your own? I have no problem with playing online if you're left to meet your needs on your own then that's what you should do. As long as you've told them the huge problems they are causing you by refusing to meet your needs and tried to change it with no results then you do whatever you need to keep your sanity .

 

[SamLaraCroft]

Of course it's cheating, but what if the spouse has lost interest? Does that mean the other spouse has to go entirely without sex for the rest of their life? A little hidden cyber play would be better than losing a spouse and family, job, friends......

I got divorced and lost everything. It was nothing to do with lack of sex, it was domestic violence. But sex is a big part of marriage so, yes having a discussion and sorting out your finances and living a little more frugally is better than cheating in my opinion, I am free to do as I please.

But if you want to hide your cyber play that's your decision xx

 

[SamLaraCroft]

If there's no approval from the spouse then I believe it's cheating. But honestly it shouldn't be a deal breaker that ends an otherwise great marriage, like real contact infidelity would.

It depends on the circumstances I think any infidelity is forgivable, real life or cyber. The time is the problem. If infidelity takes time from the innocent spouse then I would forgive I would end a marriage, but if the infidelity was because I was spending too much time on my hobbies and interests without my spouse, I would forgive and spend more time with my spouse xx

 

[SamLaraCroft]

I know it's a tough point to view it from, but, what if I don't approve of my spouse not wanting to have sex as much as I do? Is this not a double edged sword? I know it doesn't validate what one does with cyber sex but it's not like we're going to rape our spouses. They don't give us a choice when they don't want sex, why should we give them one when we want to do something that satisfies our inner desires without physically breaking the bonds of marriage.

Well you're spouse is mistreating you, not you shouldn't rape her/him, but you need to have a open discussion and if that part of your marriage is over you should take steps to rectify the problem. Like it or not if you have a sexless marriage you have a problem that needs to be addressed, sex with someone else is a plaster xx

 

[screwher]

The vast majority of my sexual cybering is chatting with other men about them having sex with my wife. In no way, shape, or form do I consider that cheating.

 

[SamLaraCroft]

This is a very interesting question and due to both sides I have to say there is no right or wrong answer. When I was dating or married (not sure which) but I know it was when I was with my ex-wife I used to play blackjack on Yahoo and encountered some horny woman. We only had cybersex or maybe one or two I called but in the end it was all I a mind fuck that we both enjoyed.

Then one day I discover this site with all these webcam girls and several them were extremely hot so I signed up for an account; the ONLY porn site that I actually paid money for. I was constantly on there watching these girls doing their thing, one even impressed me by stuffing her panties in her pussy, and watching her push and pull the panties using kegels.

Not sure how it came into light about what I been doing but she was all upset and in tears and said I was cheating on her. I was adamant I wasn't because her and I watched porn after porn after porn. I saw no different in this other than the action was live. In the end we agreed to disagree and never did it again; well with her that is.

As far as oral and other forms of physical contact I agree it's cheating. However, I miss the BJ's I used to get from how they were done to how frequent I would get them. Honestly if I could have side action I would at this point even though I am engaged. But it would be strictly oral and she has to be REALLY good at sucking cock for me to risk this. I would return the favor and once we both came we would go our separate ways. Also as someone that never did a prostitute, even stopped a stripper from trying to suck my dick, I can say at this point if I was within driving distance of 2hrs or less from the bunny ranch, I would go there once a month for a good face fuck!

Thanks for the participation in this thread, the point is even though you didn't at the time feel paying to see cybersex was being unfaithful it hurt your partner. That's the point hurting people is wrong. Personally I don't think paying for cyber sex is the same as cybersex with someone that want's it, it is just like porn. But I am not just like porn, I am not here to provide a service for married men on lit lol haha, they are getting paid for it xx

 

[SamLaraCroft]

I have friends that have ultimately gotten divorced over a difference of sexual appetite. It's really sad. On one hand, the satisfied person will say, "you're really going to give all this up because we don't have sex enough?" In my opinion, it is equally correct to flip that statement on it's head and say, "you are really going to give this up, rather than have sex with me more?"

I think hiding equates to cheating. If you would not do exactly what you are doing in the presence of your spouse, that is not a good sign. However... far be it from me to cast the first stone as I type this out right now.

Judge free zone here IMO, as this is a generally a very sex positive environment.

Yes I agree with your point if a spouse is not satisfying their partner they should think about that, but there is always more to it than that, sometimes husbands just want a quick fuck and don't actually please their wives, sometimes there are other problems in the marriage. There is always a reason for no sex.

And if someone wants sex ten times a day they have a problem too.

Sorry if you think I am making this a sex negative environment with this thread. I just get a huge amount of married men trying to get my pics on Lit lol xx

 

[SamLaraCroft]

Without wanting to sound like a wanker, I think it was probably this thread that inspired the question ... might provide a bit of context? I'm not trying to derail the thread though ... it's an interesting conversation.
(SLC - if you want to remove the link, let me know - I'm more than happy to.)

Yes it was your thread that inspired it I am glad you linked it I wanted to but didn't want you to think I was being to judgy with you. You have actually given me what I needed from cheating spouses, you admitted guilt and made the changes you needed to xx

 

[SamLaraCroft]

I was never the cheater type but I am in this category and now seeking a female to just have some oral action with each other but stay completely discreet. Sometimes people just reach their breaking point. You call it cheating, I call it scratching an itch.

Why can't you get bow jobs from your fiancée? Do you really want to marry someone that doesn't appreciate your sexual desires?

 

[SamLaraCroft]

So I'll probably take a beating for this, but my wife has very little desire for sex anymore. As a result I have engaged in some cyber sex chats with a few women as well as role playing with guys in sharing my wife with them. Is it morally right? Probably not. Am I cheating knowing I get very little attention at home? Maybe. I'm just being honest here. This is a good conversation.

It's good that you accept that, do you tell all the cyber people you're married?

 

[SamLaraCroft]

But what if your partner will not have sex with you or indeed any intimacy? What if they leave you to meet every meed you have on your own? I have no problem with playing online if you're left to meet your needs on your own then that's what you should do. As long as you've told them the huge problems they are causing you by refusing to meet your needs and tried to change it with no results then you do whatever you need to keep your sanity .

What you need is a divorce in my opinion and what you need is cybersex in your opinion. We each have a different opinion xx

 

[SamLaraCroft]

Get a Fleshlight; it does help take the edge off. Get it warm and wet first (not joking) and then tighten the bottom cap real tight. Feels like one of those BJ's where the woman is sucking really hard as you go up and down and get that sound when some air is released.

Also, if you don't mind some anal play: Aneros Vibe.

Sorry man I feel ya.

This sounds like a great solution xx