Accepting applications for an engaging pen pal (M seeking F) - Test inside

[jsmiam]

Seeking an intelligent, witty, funny, sexy, attractive pen pal.

Terms and conditions: While frequent and constant messaging would be fun (and would happen occasionally), probably more likely would be a few emails throughout the day?

Fill out the application (in e-triplicate, of course. And although I won't discriminate on age, bonus points to those who know what triplicate means.)

1. What should I call you?
2. If I nicknamed you after a Dwarf, which Dwarf would you be?
3. What Smurf name would you choose for yourself? (you may invent your own)
4. Age range:
5. How witty are you?
   (A) So witty all my puns must be whittled.
   (B) Pretty witty.
   (C) Just a bit witty.
   (D) To whit
6. How funny are you?
   (A) Milk comes out people's nose when I tell a joke;
   (B) People spit milk when I tell a joke;
   (C) People spit at me when I tell a joke
7. How intelligent are you?
   (A) Einstein called. He wants some advice.
   (B) Einstein called. He said you have potential;
   (C) Einstein said don't call me I'll call you;
   (D) Einstein's called. They are pursuing other dishwashing candidates.
8. Education?
9. Type of occupation?
10. If your boobs had nicknames, what would they be? (Collective, Left, and Right)
11. Nicknames for other body parts
12. Hobbies
13. (a) What comes next in this series? O T T F F S S ? (The answer got posted in later threads, so don't read other replies if you want to work on this one)
    (b) Amelia gets into an airplane. She flies South 100 miles. West 100 miles. North 100 miles. And ends up back where she started. How?

P.S. If I made you laugh, then you have to reply. Post here, or send me a PM, either is good.

 

[jandd780]

1. Just Jen
2.sleepy. I need my beauty rest.
3. Quirky Smurf
4. 25-65
5. C. Just a bit witty
6 c. I try
7. C . There is always someone smarter and always more you can learn.
8. Just a bachelor or arts
9. Professional bitch or oilfield dispatcher. Same thing
10. The girls
11. Thunder thighs, ghetto was
12. Volunteer work, cooking (especially for others) and reading.
13. No idea my brain doesn't function this late.

Feel free to message me on kik. Jandd780

 

[Shadoleopard]

But, where's the Z mate? Wait, theoretically, to some, z doesn't exist. I think that is cruel, though. Give the Z a place.

 

[jsmiam]

But, where's the Z mate? Wait, theoretically, to some, z doesn't exist. I think that is cruel, though. Give the Z a place.

Z is not the answer, btw...

 

[jsmiam]

1. Just Jen
2.sleepy. I need my beauty rest.
3. Quirky Smurf
4. 25-65
5. C. Just a bit witty
6 c. I try
7. C . There is always someone smarter and always more you can learn.
8. Just a bachelor or arts
9. Professional bitch or oilfield dispatcher. Same thing
10. The girls
11. Thunder thighs, ghetto was
12. Volunteer work, cooking (especially for others) and reading.
13. No idea my brain doesn't function this late.

Feel free to message me on kik. Jandd780

Excellent answers.. Quirky smurf, I like that

 

[jsmiam]

Bumping, since maybe this was more suited to people at work.

Hey, if a Sherpa calls in sick on Mount Everest, does that make him a shirka?

 

[jsmiam]

Deadline approaching! Apply online..

 

[Maggsm]

What should I call you? - Your Majesty
If I nicknamed you after a Dwarf, which Dwarf would you be? - I would say Happy but friends might say Dopey
What Smurf name would you choose for yourself? Slinky Smurf (the slinky toy)
Age range: 18 - 80
How witty are you?
(E) Itty bitty witty.
How funny are you?
(D) I tell great jokes - unless you want to hear the punchline. Then I'm lost.
How intelligent are you?
(E) I own the Baby Einstein DVD box set collection
Education? I am in favor of it
Type of occupation? Herding hamsters
If your boobs had nicknames, what would they be? Left, and Right
Nicknames for other body parts Bits & Pieces or maybe Kibbles and Bits
Hobbies Still searching for one
What comes next in this series? O T T F F S S ? E (i have a great joke for this one but it would need to use the letter A for it to work. I tried to PM it but i think something didn't work right.)

 

[jsmiam]

@maggs, I think I can call you your maggsesty?

 

[Maggsm]

Anytime!

 

[jsmiam]

Reopening the position... Apply online or in person...

 

[MrsKingky]

I was just looking up pen pals the other day - more snail mail related but I came across this and just had to reply with my answers for my enjoyment. And yes, I did chuckle

1. Amy
2. It really depends on the day you catch me but currently Sleepy
3. Princess Smurf! Or my stripper name of Chastity Chainsmoker smurf - both I think are catchy
4. Getting close to 30
5. I would like to think A but it's more likely C
6. Now this one is hard because all three are viable options for me! But I'm going to say A! Milk always comes out of my nose when I tell a joke
7. I want to say A...I'm going to say A
8. College education
9. Currently a stay at home mum but used to work in a primary school
10. When I was a teen I took a quiz that named them for me - meet Beavis and Butthead. I've never been able to call them anything else since much to my disdain
11. Woo woo, Vegeta
12. Reading, listening to music, I'm quite the crafter, watching films, pen pals!
13. A mental concrete wall just slammed down in my mind

 

[the_thinker97]

13 = "n"

 

[jsmiam]

Anytime!

13 = "n"

I guess it's time to revise the puzzle? And say PM the answer only..

 

[the_thinker97]

Yes... but I did it without giving it away. There is still the next letter in the sequence that's unknown. (T) Oops... did I say that out loud?
tupid brain.

 

[the_thinker97]

Oh Tom. The First Female Slave Starts, Even Now, To Encircle The Tip.

 

[the_thinker97]

On To The Final Frontier. Sexy Slaves Eventually Nullify The Ewoks Two Times.

 

[jsmiam]

I guess it's time to revise the puzzle? And say PM the answer only..

To make clear, should someone read this later.. Maggs correctly said E, then next, N, then T. Won't say why/how, though..

 

[Maggsm]

To make clear, should someone read this later.. Maggs correctly said E, then next, N, then T. Won't say why/how, though..

I'm very brainy. Maybe that should me my smurf name!

 

[jsmiam]

Maggnificently brainy... Hmmm.. Magnificent smurf?

The First solver, btw

 

[jsmiam]

The job posting has been reopened.

Puzzle attempters, note that puzzle 13a, if you choose to tackle it, means that you have to be careful and NOT read some of the other replies, since the answer did get included in a response.

13b is all new. Reply here to the post, but PM the answer directly, don't put the answer in the post (if you solve).

 

[spunkyE]

It's sunday. I'm bored. this made me laugh so i'll play

1. What should I call you? Her royal sluttiness
2. If I nicknamed you after a Dwarf, which Dwarf would you be? sleepy
   
3. What Smurf name would you choose for yourself? slutty
   
4. Age range: brooks orpik if you get the hockey reference. if not 44
   
5. How witty are you? c - sarcastic is more the term to use
   (A) So witty all my puns must be whittled.
   (B) Pretty witty.
   (C) Just a bit witty.
   (D) To whit
6. How funny are you? b - but it's always with scarcasm as stated above.
   (A) Milk comes out people's nose when I tell a joke;
   (B) People spit milk when I tell a joke;
   (C) People spit at me when I tell a joke
7. How intelligent are you? b
8. Education?MBA
9. Type of occupation?accountant/business owner at one time harem owner
10. If your boobs had nicknames, what would they be? tit1 tit2(Collective, Left, and Right)
11. Nicknames for other body partsfor me to know you to find out
12. Hobbiesporn, knitting and reading.
13. (a) What comes next in this series? O T T F F S S ? I try not to think on sundays so I refuse to even try due to my beliefs

 

[jsmiam]

It's sunday. I'm bored. this made me laugh so i'll play

1. What should I call you? Her royal sluttiness
2. If I nicknamed you after a Dwarf, which Dwarf would you be? sleepy
   
3. What Smurf name would you choose for yourself? slutty
   
4. Age range: brooks orpik if you get the hockey reference. if not 44
   
5. How witty are you? c - sarcastic is more the term to use
   (A) So witty all my puns must be whittled.
   (B) Pretty witty.
   (C) Just a bit witty.
   (D) To whit
6. How funny are you? b - but it's always with scarcasm as stated above.
   (A) Milk comes out people's nose when I tell a joke;
   (B) People spit milk when I tell a joke;
   (C) People spit at me when I tell a joke
7. How intelligent are you? b
8. Education?MBA
9. Type of occupation?accountant/business owner at one time harem owner
10. If your boobs had nicknames, what would they be? tit1 tit2(Collective, Left, and Right)
11. Nicknames for other body partsfor me to know you to find out
12. Hobbiesporn, knitting and reading.
13. (a) What comes next in this series? O T T F F S S ? I try not to think on sundays so I refuse to even try due to my beliefs

Porn, knitting, and reading... that has to be the most unusual combination ever!

 

[jsmiam]

Applications being accepted again. In triplicate!

 

[chrisanthemum1]

Applications

Applications being accepted again. In triplicate!

Do we have to fill out TPS forms too?