Misquote the Person Above You {2016}

[AnAngelReally]

All that glitter makes my heart flutter.

My gold-plated dildo needs a lot of rubbing to keep it shiny.

 

[MagicaPractica]

My silver-plated money clip needs a lot of rubbing to keep it shiny.

Doesn't get used much, huh? I don't carry cash either.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Doesn't get abused much, huh? Your sex life's too vanilla?

My favorite flavor is raspberry, but I have a weakness for dark chocolate.

 

[AnAngelReally]

My favorite flower is the orchid, but I have a weakness for dark red roses.

I admire how a woman's blood-engorged flower opens as it readies for pleasure.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I admire how a woman's blood-engorged follower oozes as she readies for pleasure.

What kind of women do you know?

 

[AnAngelReally]

What kind of women raised you?

I've heard of children raised by apes or wolves, but by sheep?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I've heard of children raised by apes or wolves, but by creeps?

Why not? I've met some highly unsavory parents.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I've had some highly unpalatable wine and cheese pairings lately.

Oh, may I recommend the fig and brie in puff pastry with sparkling wine or champagne? It's divine, truly.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Oh, may I recommend fig newtons with Brut Rosé Champagne? It's sublime, truly.

Without a doubt, a sure fire way to impress the ladies.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Without a doubt, a sure fire way to impregnate the ladies.

Really? I thought the turkey baster method was just a joke!

 

[MagicaPractica]

I thought the turkey basting was just a myth!

Um, we really need to get you some cooking lessons. You can also flip it over halfway through cooking but that requires some real dexterity. There's self basters too, but they're filled with nasty additives.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Um, we really need to get you some snooking lessons. You can also flip her over halfway through snooking but that requires some real dexterity. There's self abusers too, and they're full of naughty ideas.

Really, I was just trying to wake her up. That ejaculation was an accident.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Really, I was just trying to take her down. That preliminaries were incidental.

Shibari, more correctly known as Kinbaku, is a beautiful form of rope play. It's artful rather than sexual.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

Hibachi, also known as "a grill," is a beautiful form of meat play. It's culinary rather than sexual.

Tender pink flesh yielding its succulence . . . nope, nothing sexual here--let a man eat in peace!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Tender pink flesh yielding its succulence . . . nope, nothing sexual here--let a man eat his piece!

Yes, the rarest of fine dining!

 

[AnAngelReally]

Yeah! Pussy, the finest eating.

I enjoy white or dark, but I love juicy pink meat best! Yum! It's lip smacking good!

 

[MagicaPractica]

I enjoy the light or the dark, but I love pretty pink and purple sunsets best! Yup!

Me too. I'm an up early, siesta, then stay up late girl, if allowed.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Me too. I like it early, after a siesta, then late, girl.

Blowing smoke up your arse is a filthy habit, I know, but I'm trying to quit, I swear.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

Smoking is a filthy habit, I know, but I'm not trying to quit, I declare.

It saves the people who irk me from untimely demise, and will spare my children waiting overlong for my own.

 

[AnAngelReally]

I blame the people who jerk me for my lack of maturity, and it will spare my children waiting overlong for my own senility.

Erevyone thinks it a fault, but I consciously refuse to grow up. I'm simply having too much fun.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Everyone thinks it a fault, but I consciously refuse to grease up. I'm simply getting too much sun.

It may look good now, but there may be problems ahead.

 

[AnAngelReally]

It may feel good now, but there will be problems in your head.

Ages ago, I decided to live in the moment and nothing happened since to change my mind.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Ages ago, I decided to join the movement and nothing happened since to derange my mind.

If you're not deranged, you must be insane.

 

[AnAngelReally]

If you're not enraged, you must be inane.

Let there be peace, once and for all. Far out! That's damn good acid!

 

[LizVegas79]

Let me have just one piece. Far out! That's damn good pie!

When are we going to give peace a chance?