Misquote the Person Above You {2016}

[AnAngelReally]

Maybe if you took the bag off his head you'd get a more honest picture.

A generous splash of eyedrops couldn't hurt either.

 

[MagicaPractica]

A generous splash of eau de cologne couldn't hurt either.

Listen, nobody uses that stuff anymore. I'll take a shower when I'm done mowing the lawn, okay?

 

[walkingeagle]

Listen, nobody uses that stuff anymore. I'll take a shower when I'm done screwing the neighbors, okay?

Are you close with your neighbors?

 

[MagicaPractica]

Are you free with your favors?

Nope, they are actually given quite sparingly. My good will, however, is distributed widely.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Nope, they are actually quite expensive, depending upon my good will, and how horny I am.

Even lawyers will do pro bono work now and again, but they always leave themselves a backdoor to fuck you in the ass. They teach that in Law 101.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Good lawyers will fuck you in the ass pro bono. They teach that in Law 101.

Well thank God SOMEBODY is being taught the proper way to do it.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

Well thank God a juris doctor has some truly useful application.

Now, I'm just going to need you to sign this release before we get started with the whole sodomy thing. . . .

 

[AnAngelReally]

Now, I'm just going to need you to knot this rope before we get started with the whole bondage thing.

Damn, this wasn't in the syllabus when I signed up for the physics class!

 

[LadyMireille]

Damn, this wasn't in the syllabus when I signed up for the phys ed class!

Pole dancing is better exercise than a lot of other sports! You have to be very flexible to do the required splits and squats, and you have to build muscle to climb the pole and hang like a pro.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Kegels are better exercices than a lot of other sports! You don't need to be very flexible to do the required squats on a man's pole, but you enjoy it best once you've built muscles to bang him like a pro.

As the saying goes, 'practice makes perfect'.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Practice has made me perfect!

Well, I'm glad for you, but really, winged eyeliner has some limited application.

 

[loquere]

Well, I'm glad that you've gotten hired at the Hospital, but I think buying a counterfeit medical degree wasn't the best route to employment. Trust me this won't end well.

This is God's will! He speaks to me, and he wants me to spread his miracles.

 

[MagicaPractica]

This is God, you can call me Bill though. Just wanted to let you know you have a miracle in your credit account. Let me know how you want to spend it.

Hmmm, decisions, decisions. (Selective hearing is a wonderful thing. )

 

[loquere]

I have had human before it's great with some pepper.

You're joking, right?

 

[AnAngelReally]

I shaved my beard before the job interview.

So I padded my résumé. Doesn't everyone?

 

[AnAngelReally]

Yeah. And she tastes just like chicken.

What a weird flavor for a douche... that's what it is, right?

 

[MagicaPractica]

What a weird flight of fancy... for a double latte and some Advil... that's what you ordered, right?

Hey, I can't control what I dream about

 

[AnAngelReally]

Hey, I can choose what I fantasize about.

That's what an imagination is all about, after all.

 

[MagicaPractica]

That's what an imagi-nation is all about, after all,
you get to populate it!

And THAT is one of my favorite reasons to write.

 

[AnAngelReally]

And that is one of my least favorite reasons to work.

Still, I confess to an inclination toward good food, so I prostitute my talents for a few measly dollars.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Still, I confess to an inclination toward good food, books and heat in the winter . . . so I prosecute for big bucks.

Is it the wet floor or spilled coffee con? I myself prefer the . . . you kids made all my hair fall out!

 

[AnAngelReally]

Is it the wet pussy or spitted cunny? I myself prefer the . . . I shaved all my nether hair off!

I do enjoy a well groomed pussy, but I love feeling a rough tongue licking my bare skin.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

Really, how many cats is too many?

Depends how clean you keep the litter box.

 

[AnAngelReally]

Depends how weaned you are from the creamer box.

I love shiny things like a gold clit stud, a diamond belly ring.

 

[MagicaPractica]

[

I love shiny things like gold rings.

All that glitters is not gold.