Some poly, some kink, some other stuff ...

[KimGordon67]

What wonderful insight into who you are, thank you so much for sharing.

I'm not entirely that I'm worth great insights, but thanks.

 

[KimGordon67]

I've always contended the post-play or nonsexual discussions were just as meaningful/important/fun. We laughed for weeks after the 'evil black thing' moment. I still chuckle. As K mentioned, it was oddly almost worth it (and all that happened to me was a spike in my blood pressure).

I'm glad she's not one to panic but I needed to remain cool for fear of instilling panic. Besides trying to have a rational thought, I was trying to determine how 911 worked in her home country and city. This obviously makes no sense as I didn't have her address but it's what flashed in my mind in case something very wrong happened. Yeah, talking her calmly through this while speedily thumb-typing on Google how emergency services worked over there. So, her laughter was both a relief to hear but also...slightly unnerving (hence my reaction).

K's unexpected reactions to events/experiences/comments made it all quite interesting/compelling/hot AF.

"... quite interesting"?

 

[KimGordon67]

PT&A I

This was an interesting dynamic for us. I presume I have permission here, but the airport lounge scenes kicked this all off. I would tease that I wasn't the only man dressed in a suit at the club waiting for the next flight. Then I'd openly discuss which of them might have similar traits to my own. As I built her up, I'd tease her that I'd take my phone off headset and onto speaker which fed into a light humiliation and possible exhibitionist vector (confirmed later).

Interesting - I don't really remember this, but it was a while ago.

I added a bit more to this by threatening to hand my headset to another man to finish her off (she already discussed wanting an MFM previously in the thread).She'd explode as predicted (when directed).

Ha ha - this I remember. I'm sure there was at least one scenario discussed that involved both you at the same hotel and me on speaker phone ... oh, and others, involving blindfolds.

As you'd imagine, my flight would near and I'd make my way from the club to the gate and board whist we continued our conversation. It was fun to be covert to get her off before takeoff. She enjoyed it immensely that I could direct her with a fellow passenger sitting to my flank.

However, what transpired was her brattiness seeping through a bit which I encouraged. This was a new twist to our thing. (As you know, Kim has spirit and that has always been a draw for me). She turned the tables and teased me when I would have no immediate recourse. As she noted, I remained calm but inside....I wanted to rip the chair from its bolts to the floor. She loved knowing blood was flowing and I was trapped in my seat - usually for hours where my mind would be singularly focused.

'brattiness'?

It made for good follow up engagements. I'll leave it at that.

Mimosa...that recollection made me smile. It was all gorgeous and incredibly easy. Very well said, K.

I still don't know why you didn't just have the bloody mimosa.

 

[IslandStyle_44]

I still don't know why you didn't just have the bloody mimosa.

Brattiness - when one teases or rebels to elicit a reaction. Mmm, yep. You know you liked getting me riled up prior to a flight where I'm constrained. It created tension which we both enjoyed. Enough said.

Mimosa: I was up front on a 12h flight. It's called pacing yourself.

 

[KimGordon67]

Planes trains and automobiles II

Every so often we'd end up talking while TG was driving. This wasn't such a regular occurrence, but I do remember one particularly hot session while he was in a rental car going ... somewhere. And how lucky it was the nice SatNav lady was there to remind him when the next turn off was.

One of the last times we played, I was in a car. I'm a little more circumspect, so had pulled over into a side road on the drive home, which goes through a lot of relatively unpopulated countryside. It was summer, I had the window down and a breeze coming through while he was talking in my ear, telling me what he'd being doing to me ... I remember how hard I came, and then telling him afterwards that I'd had one foot up on the dashboard. Somewhere buried in my emails is the photo he asked for, of the countryside through the windscreen with my foot, still on the dash, just in shot. Of course, about 90 seconds after I'd finished, a huge truck came down the 'deserted' road ... luckily I HAD finished, as he was totally able to see right in the windscreen ...

 

[KimGordon67]

Planes trains and automobiles III

There were no trains.

 

[KimGordon67]

... but there were skis

And now, for some reason, I'm reminded of another moment. Every now and then I make audio files for people - very very few people. They're not elaborate, there's no stories or vivid descriptions, it's pretty much just me making myself cum, sometimes with the odd word or two thrown in. But occasionally I'd send one to TG ... lol, I think the first time might have been when I was in a hotel in the UK and we were on the phone/skype, but for some reason the call got cut short, so I just switched on the record function on the phone I was using and kept going, and then sent it to him. The time I'm particularly thinking of though, he was on a skiing trip and decided to play my most recent recording while going down a slope. Apparently it was perfectly timed, so the whole time he was in downward motion, I was building up to a climax in his ears. He told me about it afterwards ... something about that picture, and thinking about how that would have felt, is just perfect.

So the next time you're on a ski field, if you're that kind of person, think about what someone might actually be listening to as they're gliding serenely down the hills.

 

[Paul_Chance]

One-sided voice (or recordings) has the ability to open up a whole world of unexpected sensuality - often heightened by unexpected places and circumstances. I enjoyed your stories and they brought back some amusing and sensual memories.

One in particular popped out of my memory.

During one I was at a conference, during a break while everyone was standing around and socializing. I answered her call and stepped away to stand by a window - where she graphically described what she was doing to herself in the hotel room. It was terribly arousing and all I could do to respond was "ummm hmmm, yes, that sounds good" since there were dozens of people within listening distance.

It was impossibly arousing, especially since there was nothing I could do about it.

 

[KimGordon67]

I have a feeling we might have employed the phrase 'that sounds good' once or twice too. Another one I remember was 'some people find that if you repeat that action with a little more pressure, you do get a different result' and something along the lines of 'you might find you need a tool for that particular job'.

One-sided voice (or recordings) has the ability to open up a whole world of unexpected sensuality - often heightened by unexpected places and circumstances. I enjoyed your stories and they brought back some amusing and sensual memories.

One in particular popped out of my memory.

During one I was at a conference, during a break while everyone was standing around and socializing. I answered her call and stepped away to stand by a window - where she graphically described what she was doing to herself in the hotel room. It was terribly arousing and all I could do to respond was "ummm hmmm, yes, that sounds good" since there were dozens of people within listening distance.

It was impossibly arousing, especially since there was nothing I could do about it.

 

[IslandStyle_44]

"... quite interesting"?

What. It was a range, hon.

Quite interesting --> compelling --> Hot as Fuck.

Trains: Did we not attemp while I was on Eurostar? Never a regional.

 

[KimGordon67]

What. It was a range, hon.

Quite interesting --> compelling --> Hot as Fuck.

Trains: Did we not attemp while I was on Eurostar? Never a regional.

Not that I remember - but your recollection of detail is apparently better than mine.

 

[KimGordon67]

I've always contended the post-play or nonsexual discussions were just as meaningful/important/fun. We laughed for weeks after the 'evil black thing' moment. I still chuckle. As K mentioned, it was oddly almost worth it (and all that happened to me was a spike in my blood pressure).

I'm glad she's not one to panic but I needed to remain cool for fear of instilling panic. Besides trying to have a rational thought, I was trying to determine how 911 worked in her home country and city. This obviously makes no sense as I didn't have her address but it's what flashed in my mind in case something very wrong happened. Yeah, talking her calmly through this while speedily thumb-typing on Google how emergency services worked over there. So, her laughter was both a relief to hear but also...slightly unnerving (hence my reaction).

K's unexpected reactions to events/experiences/comments made it all quite interesting/compelling/hot AF.

I should have been a little more gracious in my response to this really quite adorable addition to the narrative. It was a weird situation. Because I was on the 'fixing it' end of things, I at least had some control over things - poor TG was just trying to find an emergency phone number (which is not 911 here) to direct some service or other to a house ... even though I think that that point he still didn't even know the name of the city I was in. We're just all lucky it wasn't more serious.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[KimGordon67]

The reality of long-distance sex

And, in spite of the distance, and in spite of debate that have been had on other threads, there was an intimacy to this that was extremely real. TG would often call me early in the morning - there was an hour or two in the morning's when I was away from home where I could feasibly wake but not get out of bed, and he had his house to himself. I'd be woken by the sound of a Skype call coming in, and be half asleep answering the phone, and feel his voice sliding over me. It was dark and quiet and warm, and there was just him.
As I've said before, I can't really remember how we moved into the power/control dynamic, and it wasn't always present, but it was fairly marked a lot of the time. And it was so easy. I'm a bitch on wheels at the best of times - I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do at all - but somehow this just seemed right. It was like I could sink into it ... sometimes he'd describe scenarios of things ... there were long descriptions of involving walking through hotels, other men, always very specific and detailed. Other times he would direct me in the immediate sense, and always with that calm measured voice. I think I was probably a bit sceptical about things far too often ... and most of all when he first told me to slap myself across the genitals. This takes a bit of doing the first time, both the logistics and just getting over the mental 'wrongness' of it (and probably a little of 'WTF am I doing - this is just silly'). But he persevered, and he was right - fuck me, did that get results. Once we'd perfected the whole operation, it was really, I think, the first time I'd struggled with actual physical pain - where we'd go a few times, and he'd say 'one more now'. I remember the conflict between the pain, and how good it felt, and wanting to keep pushing but hurting, and him in my ear, 'Come on now, one more'. Sometimes it was 'that wasn't hard enough - again' - how could he tell it wasn't hard enough? But he was always right about that.

 

[RacyWilde]

My gosh! Your line "and feel his voice sliding over me. It was dark and quiet and warm, and there was just him" sounds so amazing! (I literally giggled with excitement lol)

I'm a bitch on wheels at the best of times - I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do at all - but somehow this just seemed right. It was like I could sink into it...

Ah... I get a lot of flack from people when I tell them that even though I'm a very dominant woman, even in the bedroom, there are just some men that I want to surrender to. People either think I'm not a real dominant or my surrender isn't real. But like you said 'somehow it just seem right'. Truth is more important to me than sustaining a type.

 

[Paul_Chance]

There is an intimacy in long distance relationships that is hard to describe to a person who has never experienced it. I've thought that is was due to nature of the relationship - in more traditional relationships I've found it is just harder to have long, rambling, and intimate conversations that last for hours. There are too many immediate things that interrupt. When you're on the phone, it is just two human beings, two voices, and two minds, dancing. You're very focused and in the moment of the conversation. Consequently, in virtual relationships, it's very much and intellectual connection and sometimes more revealing then the somewhat guarded way we move through the real and immediate world.

 

[pplwatching]

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[pplwatching]

......

 

[KimGordon67]

Speaking as someone who craves the dance of personal interaction and the immersion of all of my senses in the experience, that is an interesting perspective. In my previous experience with long distance relationships, it seemed very easy for one person to wear a mask of their choosing to maintain an illusory persona and avoid sharing who they really were. It certainly gave a much greater degree of control over what is shared and when. I suppose it's like anything else; one's experiences shapes one's opinions.

I think you could say that of any relationship. I suppose the online context provides more scope for that, because of the lack of 'immediacy', and obviously for some people that's an advantage of that context - a lot people protect various parts of themselves for very good reason. For me though, I always am who I am, whether online or otherwise. Yes, I edit, but everyone does that pretty much all the time. For example, while TG and I mentioned our respective spouses and children at various points (because it's hard to completely avoid talking about the person you live with), we very rarely talked about our families in a 'real' sense'. Children crept into the conversation after a while, but our marriages pretty much never. So I guess we kind of were constructing an alternative reality in airport lounges, work homes and hotel rooms, but it was an alternative reality in which we still were who we are. It's like when Dr Who tardises to some new time/universe - he's still the Doctor. (Yes, I did just verb 'tardis'.)

 

[KimGordon67]

This pops up occasionally in many different contexts. There are a lot of people who are simply inflexible, but many also have a vested interest in 'protecting' (for lack of a better word) their definition. Anything that challenges their perceptions of what <pick a subject> is/means isn't open to discussion or debate, because discussing it and conceding even one point challenges their sense of personal identity. Unfortunately it turns a potentially vibrant and colorful experience into something drably black and white.

I find that too restrictive too, but for some people the labels and the fairly defined behaviours that come along with them are a comfort, a road map to help them find their way. I'm a bit more of a 'let's just go in this direction - we're bound to get to where we're going eventually because it's definitely over there somewhere' kind of girl. In this particular instance, the getting there is really most of the fun for me. I'm not sure, however, that for those using a map the experience is necessarily less meaningful ... the problems comes when they say to other people 'NO - use the map. It's the only way to ensure you reach the right destination'.

 

[KimGordon67]

There is an intimacy in long distance relationships that is hard to describe to a person who has never experienced it. I've thought that is was due to nature of the relationship - in more traditional relationships I've found it is just harder to have long, rambling, and intimate conversations that last for hours. There are too many immediate things that interrupt. When you're on the phone, it is just two human beings, two voices, and two minds, dancing. You're very focused and in the moment of the conversation. Consequently, in virtual relationships, it's very much and intellectual connection and sometimes more revealing then the somewhat guarded way we move through the real and immediate world.

I think that's all entirely true - but there's another aspect that I mentioned (quite a way) above, in that the medium of online contact allows it to become pervasive in a way that physical contact can't be. A 'RL' boyfriend couldn't sit in the corner of my office nattering away to me all day - it would just be weird. But often TG and I would have conversation that went on throughout the day, woven in around our work requirements. As I also noted above, I'm not sure that that was a good thing, but it certainly added to the intimacy.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I find that too restrictive too, but for some people the labels and the fairly defined behaviours that come along with them are a comfort, a road map to help them find their way. I'm a bit more of a 'let's just go in this direction - we're bound to get to where we're going eventually because it's definitely over there somewhere' kind of girl. In this particular instance, the getting there is really most of the fun for me. I'm not sure, however, that for those using a map the experience is necessarily less meaningful ... the problems comes when they say to other people 'NO - use the map. It's the only way to ensure you reach the right destination'.

I've always preferred to see myself as Whitman's multitude, which is why I tend to shy away from labels (and strictly enforced labels). I think you're right in that, for some people, it gives them needed structure and a better defined identity in the context of their tribe. I kind of see the various behavioral mapping devices in the same way I look at real road maps. Entirely optional and useful only if you're worried about getting lost or are heading for a specific destination on a specific time-table. I prefer to just go in "that direction" and get there when I get there. Sometimes I don't even know where there is until I'm there.

LOL - and dang, I used there a lot in that paragraph. Better check my quota!

 

[KimGordon67]

I've always preferred to see myself as Whitman's multitude, which is why I tend to shy away from labels (and strictly enforced labels). I think you're right in that, for some people, it gives them needed structure and a better defined identity in the context of their tribe. I kind of see the various behavioral mapping devices in the same way I look at real road maps. Entirely optional and useful only if you're worried about getting lost or are heading for a specific destination on a specific time-table. I prefer to just go in "that direction" and get there when I get there. Sometimes I don't even know where there is until I'm there.

LOL - and dang, I used there a lot in that paragraph. Better check my quota!

Identity politics was, in part, what I was thinking about when I wrote that.

 

[pplwatching]

.....

 

[KimGordon67]

I think that of all of the things that my wife and I had to "get used to" about each other, this was the biggest. I am very much a "it's not the destination, it's the journey ... we'll eventually end up somewhere interesting (and if we don't then we'll laugh and turn the ship around)" kind of guy in most aspects of our lives. In many ways I consider myself a hedonist, even if my posts say otherwise. My wife on the other hand is very much a "where are we going, why, and what's the most direct route?" kind of gal. "Why?" is a very important question to her, and practical answers make her happy.

In hindsight I think that I have had more difficulty adapting to her way of thinking, rather than she to mine. While she can "go along for the ride", it can be difficult for me to picture where I want to end up or even say why I want to go there beyond "it looks exciting". She has gone along with that answer more times than I can count, including sexually. If I dig deeply enough and really think about it there's often a more concrete answer, but she cuts me a lot of slack. Usually thinking about consequences and implications before hand keeps me from asking her to do things much beyond her comfort zone.

I think I probably use your wife's approach in a lot of aspects of my life. But in the context of sex, and relationships, I've become a lot better over the years at giving the horse free rein. (I thought we'd see how many metaphors we could get into this discussion.) Which, ultimately, has more pleasing results.