Being a fetish… and those who desire them

[RacyWilde]

A social poll and meta discussion...

I’m curious, and I’m sure a lot of others are too, about fetishes. What drives sexual attraction? And because I’m a girl, I’m even curiouser about men and their fetishes of women.

I think the main concern for me particularly is when you are someone’s fetish you don’t know whether the person actually likes you or if you just fulfil a fantasy for them. Silly me, but I want to be sought after for who I am, not because I match a pre-established fetish.

As such, I actively withhold information about myself specifically so I don’t become a fetish idol. For example, (now I’m being very open here), my hair is naturally auburn. Yes, I’m a bonafide redhead, though this is the first time I am stating it in public and online. (However, currently I try to balayage it brown-blonde so I don’t turn too many heads in RL.)

There is a crazy amount of men who are automatically sexually attracted to redheads and it is that very fact that I hide my natural colour. I don’t want to be fetishised about my hair for some reason. I know some women love it and use it to their advantage, and there are many bottle-reds who capitalise, but I know some, like me, who find it a burden. Do you like me or just my hair? Is the only reason you are talking to me, the reason you singled me out, because my hair is a beacon for your sexual arousal?

I have no control over my natural hair colour. Though, I’m lucky, for I can hide it with dying as my eyebrows and other parts of me are not red. Actually, I usually feel sorry for redheads who can’t hide their natural colour. I know the attention they get, especially when their hair is long.

I’m sure some guys feel this way, for example, having a jumbo cock, or even a micro cock. Sure you can use it to your advantage, for sexual fantasy, but then there is reality… let’s face it, a jumbo or micro cock doesn’t matter when building a relationship of substance. You can get a surplus of people contacting you because they like your cock, but most, if not all, fall away because they eventually realise they don’t connect with your personality. It can leave you empty, but also guarded.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be so nice to be automatically desired because someone likes what you have - whether that be colour, size, relationship status or persona, etc. It’s even a turn on! But when it’s not… hmm…

Literotica is a haven for fetishes. They are celebrated here, which is fantastic - people can find like-minded friends - but sometimes fetish announcements can be a killjoy. There are so many men who advertise for BBW in the personals, sometimes I feel left out…lol. No one advertises for small, skinny, super fit/athletic girls because that might be politically incorrect…lol. But what if that is a fetish, or at least a sexual desire? Such a social comment! However, I do find the amount of guys on here who fetishise about wives fascinating. Maybe it is the actual coveting that is the turn on - being naughty in your desires?

I guess this is a reality check discussion, to talk about how people feel about being a fetish, or even not being a fetish. If you have been fetishised please do share your experience. For those who fetishise please discuss the whys. The stories of how fetishes started or were realised are heartily welcome!! For example, I am well aware that my auburn hair might be a trigger for a crush/sexual experience one had with their best friend’s mum that they like to relive. And for my own selfish curiosity, please indulge me by filling out the poll .

Please note: The poll only has a capacity for ten options. If your option isn't available write it in the comments. I am making the poll public so we can be loud and proud about our sexual desires. I also want to be able to draw connections between fetishes for deeper discussion. And yes, truth be told, if you know someone has a fetish about a quality you possess, you have something in common, and it is much easier to say 'hi'.

Just so we are clear:

http://i.imgur.com/3sc2SDc.jpg

 

[TheWhiteBull]

I understand your feelings and I can say for me at least its just one of those things where I like to be a different person sexually. For instance I'm into a little raceplay, but am mixed myself and come from a multiracial family. Kind of hard to have any actual racist sentiments growing up like that. I wouldn't say that I fetishize myself or any others too much based off of race though. I can see the pitfalls you're describing though. I'm very fit and muscular and while I enjoy that about myself and it helps with attracting others, I wouldn't want to be with someone who only liked that about me ofr anything more than just a short fling.

 

[Nezhul]

Redhead - I don't know, it's rare and it's bright. I cannot really attribute it to anything beyond that. I'm just a moth to the flame, and redheads instantly attract my attention.
I like blondies a lot too, though. It's a tie.

What about eye color? And other types of hair color? I don't think it's very fair to only include redheads.

Slut - slut is a woman with a morality of a man (c). But really, there's something attractive about girls who are sexually open and play their sexuality up. That's basically what you call a slut, right?

Baby girl - It turns me on to be able to take care of someone, and innocence in a girl is a big turn-on.

submissive - nuff said, I just like it and like BDSM.

Body part fetish - I like tits and nipples a lot, and I also just LOVE the frontal view of a women's crotch. Not pussy exactly, but, you know - the pubis and that empty space between the thighs, How the crotch looks slightly flat and wide between the thighs. This view.
https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB11vOA...-crotchless-underwear-open-crotch-panties.jpg
I also like when pussy and nipples are very pale, pink in color. I never really met something like that, but in porn some girls have their labia and nipples so pale that they almost blend with the color of their skin. That's hot, in my book. I'll say it's a fetish.
http://y2.pichunter.com/3170868_11_o.jpg

From the fetishes unlisted, I like:
short girls, who barely reach up to my shoulder.
Petite girls - with small asses and small breasts, with small fragile frames. I guess that's kind of the same as previous one.
Very polite girls. It's sad that it has become a fetish nowadays, but at least where I live - a lot of young women act almost exactly like guys. Swearing, laughing loudly with open mouths, etc, etc. I like manners, femininity to each action.
I also like giddy girls. I don't know if that can be called a fetish, but I knew a few women who'd literally be jumping slightly from excitement when something caused them positive emotions. I like them, although with my personality it's sometimes hard to deal with them.
Skirts - I love women in skirts. I like jeans too, but there's something about skirts that makes me think - "Hmm, she's so acessible, there's basically nothing between me and her panties." I know, pervy, right? But that's somehow the picture I get. Also, many skirts just look beautiful.
Sexy clothes - goes without saying. I'm also a huge panty fan.
Smells - women smell exquisite most of the time, and some brands of perfume just make me want to follow them around like in an old WB cartoons. Naturally, I don't perv around like that, but it's very VERY arousing.

 

[TheWhiteBull]

From the fetishes unlisted, I like:
short girls, who barely reach up to my shoulder.
Petite girls - with small asses and small breasts, with small fragile frames. I guess that's kind of the same as previous one.
QUOTE]

I used to honestly think I didn't have a type. Then one day when checking out girls with my friend it dawned on me that all of the women I had dated or slept with had been around 5 feet tall.

 

[Nezhul]

I think the main concern for me particularly is when you are someone’s fetish you don’t know whether the person actually likes you or if you just fulfil a fantasy for them. Silly me, but I want to be sought after for who I am, not because I match a pre-established fetish.

Well, you know, when a man comes up to you to ask you out - then in 95% of cases that's because he likes your looks.
That's normal. That's how nature made us, males, to operate when choosing a partner - we are attracted to looks a lot, because subconsciously our brain makes a judgment about your health and genetic compatibility when we think you are pretty.

Now, you may call it a fetish - or number of fetishes - that attracted this guy to initially come and have a conversation with you.
But I will tell you right away that we stay because we like your personality. Sure, there are always man-whores who only want your looks and your pussy (or fetishize any other part of you) - but I'm sure that after a couple of dates those will become apparent.

As such, I actively withhold information about myself specifically so I don’t become a fetish idol. For example, (now I’m being very open here), my hair is naturally auburn. Yes, I’m a bonafide redhead, though this is the first time I am stating it in public and online. (However, currently I try to balayage it brown-blonde so I don’t turn too many heads in RL.)

If you think you are an object of some kind of fetish (a redhead) - don't hide it as a way to check your suitors for faithfulness. I guarantee you, no one will stay with you if they don't like you personally or don't feel strongly about your inner self. But attracting a guy who also views you as a fetish object - is good, IMO. It's just another hook, another bond that he has with you, another reason to love you and want to stay with you. It's a good thing.

Yes, a lot of guys will approach you because you have red hair. That's normal. They can't judge your personality and inner qualities when they haven't even talked to you. THAT will come later, for both of you, and you'll know very soon if that person if your kind of person.

When you hide your hair color you are shooting yourself in the leg. A guy will approach you because he's a fan of THAT hair color, and then you'll either have to dye your hair for the rest of your relationship to please him - or risk dismissing his fetish and turn red. I'm not saying he'll instantly leave you - he won't, because things like hair color don't really matter much - but that'll be just a small little thing that he would have rather had differently about you.

It's better if he likes your hair color ON TOP of liking you personally, don't you think?

I repeat, no one will stay with you just because of some fetish. Porn will satisfy that urge. No, they'll stay if they like you, love you, and your hair color will just be a small bonus to them, another little plus in the long list of what they'll value you for.

p.s. Oh yea, I almost forgot. You can dye your hair if you feel it looks better that way or that it suits your personality better - for any reason. But to do it just so you don't atract men who LIKE red hair - is counter-productive.
Hell, why not pierce your entire face and make yourself ugly, that'd be a logical follow-up step. You don't want them to be with you just because of your cute fae, right?

 

[crashD]

no vote from me, you forgot petite..

 

[JackOffer]

My favorites are:
1. Anything to do with the Butt, male or female.
2. Incest of any kind.
3. Sluts. I love anything slutty, male or female.

 

[suckonsimon]

Pure, joyous, wholesome delight in women, as persons first and as objects of lustful desire a close second. That's no fetish in my book, just good health! So I didn't vote in the poll.

But ...

As many know, my fetish is for cockrings. Whole junk ones, cock-and-balls through. I am almost never without one on. I always fuck with one on. I totally adore having the handsome junk bulge a well chosen ring will give a man when he's dressed. And even more I adore the enhancement of the joys of sex for my woman in consequence of what a well sized steel ring does for me when I'm erect.

Is this a fetish? Or a fabulous discovery which I do my best to share with guys who pursue excellence as lovers?

 

[SissySalina]

Fetish

sissy has only one fetish, Her, she is sissy's .
Really not sure if it is a fetish, it is not for sissy sexual gratification (sissy is in permanent chastity), it is for Her gratification.

 

[Porkwarrior]

If it makes you feel better I'll fetishize a small super fit athletic redhead
(Even if Auburn isn't reeeeeeally a redhead, shhhhh we won't tell anyone)

I had a taste of it as a married guy that rode a motorcycle, occasionally wore suits, and could change a tire or do a simple fix on someone's car. Plus I was pretty fucking hot It was flattering when younger girls would tell my wife how lucky she was, and do I have a younger single brother. The open bar insurance company parties would just get silly sometimes.

Having to pour a 20yr old into a cab that's grabbing my ass so much she lifted my wallet, and wouldn't give it back until I promised to go home with her type of bullshit. I wouldn't call half of the things in your poll as a 'fetish', but a preference. Then again I still jerk off thinking about the small super fit athletic redhead with a Scottish accent from Barra that could literally highland dance riding my cock while we're both laughing...sigh. Fuck her thighs could kill somebody...double sigh...

 

[hylas_]

I tend to attract my share of guys who are into me specifically for my ethnicity. I can be pretty gross, so I know how you feel.

But I have to be honest, I'm mostly grossed out when I become a fetish object in the eyes of a man who I personally find unattractive. When a handsome dude fetishises me, well, it can get gross too, but mostly I just enjoy the attention.

Also, turning things around, I have my long list of my own fetishes... blond and red hair being on top of that list. I can't help it, light hair just turns my crank, especially light facial and body hair. So I guess I can't complain too loudly.

 

[Melanie424]

Being a natural redhead I've always enjoyed being with guys who are turned on by redheads. I mean it's me, it's not something I'm trying to be. Redheads have that stereotype off being fiery and passionate and I get to explore that side of me when I'm with someone who really wants it.

 

[Asian_Flower]

One thing I've learned about men's fetishes, especially since joining Lit...it seems "Yellow Fever" is quite common

 

[Nezhul]

One thing I've learned about men's fetishes, especially since joining Lit...it seems "Yellow Fever" is quite common

I didn't understand that. I googled yellow fever but it's a disease. What did you mean?

 

[KatieTay]

It refers to, well, going crazy just because an East Asian girl is East Asian.

 

[RacyWilde]

*

Wow! I didn't expect this thread to go anywhere. But thanks everyone for commenting!

 

[RacyWilde]

I understand your feelings and I can say for me at least its just one of those things where I like to be a different person sexually. For instance I'm into a little raceplay, but am mixed myself and come from a multiracial family. Kind of hard to have any actual racist sentiments growing up like that. I wouldn't say that I fetishize myself or any others too much based off of race though. I can see the pitfalls you're describing though. I'm very fit and muscular and while I enjoy that about myself and it helps with attracting others, I wouldn't want to be with someone who only liked that about me ofr anything more than just a short fling.

Yes, and I'd like to add there is a great difference between a fetish and a sexual attraction - one is obsessive, the other progressive.

By progressive, I mean, that the initial attraction moves onto being attracted to other things about a person. For example, I really like 'fit and muscular' men. In a purely superficial sense, I like their form and it feels good when a fit and muscular guy is attracted to me in return, but really it's not truly about his body shape. I like fit and muscular guys because we generally share the same outlook on body, health and fitness. I'd want to be with someone who will spend time with me hiking, mountain biking, kayaking...

Though, I must admit, I have a fetish for v-lines. I literally go ga-ga. You don't have to be fit and muscular to have a v-line, a lot of skinny guys naturally have v-lines too. And this is why it is a fetish... because I discriminate - if there were two men standing in front of me in jeans and no shirt, and I knew nothing about their personality, etc, I would choose the one with the v-lines hands down...lol.

 

[RacyWilde]

Redhead - I don't know, it's rare and it's bright. I cannot really attribute it to anything beyond that. I'm just a moth to the flame, and redheads instantly attract my attention.
I like blondies a lot too, though. It's a tie.

What about eye color? And other types of hair color? I don't think it's very fair to only include redheads.

Slut - slut is a woman with a morality of a man (c). But really, there's something attractive about girls who are sexually open and play their sexuality up. That's basically what you call a slut, right?

Baby girl - It turns me on to be able to take care of someone, and innocence in a girl is a big turn-on.

submissive - nuff said, I just like it and like BDSM.

Body part fetish - I like tits and nipples a lot, and I also just LOVE the frontal view of a women's crotch. Not pussy exactly, but, you know - the pubis and that empty space between the thighs, How the crotch looks slightly flat and wide between the thighs. This view.
https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB11vOA...-crotchless-underwear-open-crotch-panties.jpg
I also like when pussy and nipples are very pale, pink in color. I never really met something like that, but in porn some girls have their labia and nipples so pale that they almost blend with the color of their skin. That's hot, in my book. I'll say it's a fetish.
http://y2.pichunter.com/3170868_11_o.jpg

From the fetishes unlisted, I like:
short girls, who barely reach up to my shoulder.
Petite girls - with small asses and small breasts, with small fragile frames. I guess that's kind of the same as previous one.
Very polite girls. It's sad that it has become a fetish nowadays, but at least where I live - a lot of young women act almost exactly like guys. Swearing, laughing loudly with open mouths, etc, etc. I like manners, femininity to each action.
I also like giddy girls. I don't know if that can be called a fetish, but I knew a few women who'd literally be jumping slightly from excitement when something caused them positive emotions. I like them, although with my personality it's sometimes hard to deal with them.
Skirts - I love women in skirts. I like jeans too, but there's something about skirts that makes me think - "Hmm, she's so acessible, there's basically nothing between me and her panties." I know, pervy, right? But that's somehow the picture I get. Also, many skirts just look beautiful.
Sexy clothes - goes without saying. I'm also a huge panty fan.
Smells - women smell exquisite most of the time, and some brands of perfume just make me want to follow them around like in an old WB cartoons. Naturally, I don't perv around like that, but it's very VERY arousing.

Wow, amazing list. *blush* thank you for contributing. I'm a simple girl. My fetish is a v-line on a man (you can read about it in another comment above...lol.)

You know, in porn (and also in RL now) girls bleach their pussy and nipples. It's to give themselves a younger, virginal look. I don't know if you know this, but... When a woman has a baby her pussy and nipples darken, and generally never returns to her pre-pregnant colour. It's a natural pigmentation from growth. It's the same how everyone's body in those areas gets darker with age. Porn stars want to look young (pink) because many men have a 'dirty virgin' fetish.

But I do think all your fetishes surmount to liking a particular sort of girl - a very young, virginal, college good girl..lol.

 

[RacyWilde]

no vote from me, you forgot petite..

Ah, I couldn't fit everything in - only ten slots - sorry. But, I think it is rare that people admit they like petite. Are we talking supermodel petite or Asian petite or young woman petite....etc?

 

[RacyWilde]

My favorites are:
1. Anything to do with the Butt, male or female.
2. Incest of any kind.
3. Sluts. I love anything slutty, male or female.

'male or female' made me smile. I like bi men

 

[RacyWilde]

Pure, joyous, wholesome delight in women, as persons first and as objects of lustful desire a close second. That's no fetish in my book, just good health! So I didn't vote in the poll.

But ...

As many know, my fetish is for cockrings. Whole junk ones, cock-and-balls through. I am almost never without one on. I always fuck with one on. I totally adore having the handsome junk bulge a well chosen ring will give a man when he's dressed. And even more I adore the enhancement of the joys of sex for my woman in consequence of what a well sized steel ring does for me when I'm erect.

Is this a fetish? Or a fabulous discovery which I do my best to share with guys who pursue excellence as lovers?

Mmmh, as a natural loving girl I think cock rings are much better than viagra too.

 

[RacyWilde]

sissy has only one fetish, Her, she is sissy's .
Really not sure if it is a fetish, it is not for sissy sexual gratification (sissy is in permanent chastity), it is for Her gratification.

Obsession or love? Only you can decide that, and only she can allow it.

 

[RacyWilde]

If it makes you feel better I'll fetishize a small super fit athletic redhead
(Even if Auburn isn't reeeeeeally a redhead, shhhhh we won't tell anyone)

I had a taste of it as a married guy that rode a motorcycle, occasionally wore suits, and could change a tire or do a simple fix on someone's car. Plus I was pretty fucking hot It was flattering when younger girls would tell my wife how lucky she was, and do I have a younger single brother. The open bar insurance company parties would just get silly sometimes.

Having to pour a 20yr old into a cab that's grabbing my ass so much she lifted my wallet, and wouldn't give it back until I promised to go home with her type of bullshit. I wouldn't call half of the things in your poll as a 'fetish', but a preference. Then again I still jerk off thinking about the small super fit athletic redhead with a Scottish accent from Barra that could literally highland dance riding my cock while we're both laughing...sigh. Fuck her thighs could kill somebody...double sigh...

Hm... sorry to tell you but if wikipedia says it, it's gospel, babe...lol.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auburn_hair

I actually think anything can be a fetish. Humans are crazy like that...lol. I've been overlooked several times because I'm not a BBW. I'm sure my personality is just as good as a BBW but because I didn't have the dimples, rolls and wobbles I was not even a consideration. I think that is obsessive behaviour - of course that comes in many degrees - but I think it is enough to say these guys have an "abnormal degree" of sexual desire to a particular body type. (Mind you, in the US I would be considered a plus size girl, but apparently not big enough for BBW...lol.)

 

[RacyWilde]

I tend to attract my share of guys who are into me specifically for my ethnicity. I can be pretty gross, so I know how you feel.

But I have to be honest, I'm mostly grossed out when I become a fetish object in the eyes of a man who I personally find unattractive. When a handsome dude fetishises me, well, it can get gross too, but mostly I just enjoy the attention.

Also, turning things around, I have my long list of my own fetishes... blond and red hair being on top of that list. I can't help it, light hair just turns my crank, especially light facial and body hair. So I guess I can't complain too loudly.

I know what you mean. It is easy to be fetishised by people you find attractive... and that's when it works for you. I guess fetishes only become annoying when they are unwanted. For example - I dye my hair brown. But then again, they can work to an advantage - if a girl wants to attract guys, all she has to do is dye her hair red. Though, things like v-lines are a lot harder to produce...lol.

 

[TheWhiteBull]

Ah, I couldn't fit everything in - only ten slots - sorry. But, I think it is rare that people admit they like petite. Are we talking supermodel petite or Asian petite or young woman petite....etc?

I don't know if supermodels count since they're usually tall and petite is more about overall smallness http://www.dictionary.com/browse/petite
They don't count for me.

Based on the amount of people who have said it here it must be more common than I thought. If you see my post I didn't even realize I must have that fetish for many years. I subconciously always chose a petite girl.

Asian/young petite = yes yes yes