My Girlfriend and BDSM Friend

[MeekMe]

I don't see that as an attack. I questioned whether that's something I could do. Would I want someone to sit in while I talk to my therapist? No. I really wouldn't want someone else involved in that. I'm speaking from a professional therapist interaction and not a BDSM situation, but that's awkward enough without an audience.

 

[Blue]

I forgot that it was high treason to question the proclamations of king PensivePoet.
Do forgive me, your grace.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Why don't you go to a session as an observer
If she's being completely honest, she should have no objections
And you'll find out if you're comfortable with it or if you deem it sexual.

I wouldn't want my partner sitting in when I was having a session with my shrink. Doesn't mean I'm fucking my shrink, just that it's easier to navigate some stuff without an audience.

edit: whoops, didn't see that MeekMe had made the exact same point already.

 

[Dribble]

I wouldn't want my partner sitting in when I was having a session with my shrink. Doesn't mean I'm fucking my shrink, just that it's easier to navigate some stuff without an audience.

edit: whoops, didn't see that MeekMe had made the exact same point already.

Define therapy. Then give me one, just one, should be simple to give one example of how this can be defined as therapy.

Now....dont waste time defining therapeutic and giving me an example of that...

We can play this game for any word... like sexual. The ONLY answer that matters is the one the op believes. Other peoples view are irrelevant.

 

[MeekMe]

Define therapy. Then give me one, just one, should be simple to give one example of how this can be defined as therapy.

Now....dont waste time defining therapeutic and giving me an example of that...

We can play this game for any word... like sexual. The ONLY answer that matters is the one the op believes. Other peoples view are irrelevant.

Endorphins

If they're engaging in S/M activities, it releases endorphins in the body that give one a boost in mood. Some people like a controlled S/M session as a kind of reset button to help with stress. Some people like to work through past trauma with it because they can go through some of the emotions with someone they feel safe with and know that there is a definite end to it. Going through pain and coming out on the other side ok can have positive effects on a persons ability to work through and handle stressful situations.

Also, some people just like a good fucking cry. When I have a full on rolling on the floor cry moment I only do it alone or with someone I trust and knows what is going on (The most important part is that they are aware of what's happening).

 

[Bramblethorn]

Endorphins

If they're engaging in S/M activities, it releases endorphins in the body that give one a boost in mood. Some people like a controlled S/M session as a kind of reset button to help with stress. Some people like to work through past trauma with it because they can go through some of the emotions with someone they feel safe with and know that there is a definite end to it. Going through pain and coming out on the other side ok can have positive effects on a persons ability to work through and handle stressful situations.

I get that through massage: somebody hurts me for 30 minutes, I float away onto a cloud, and come back feeling much more relaxed. The massage might be doing some good for muscles directly, but mostly it's about the pain-released endorphins.

For mostly arbitrary reasons, this isn't called "BDSM", but I presume at least some Official Masochists are getting much the same thing out of it.

When I got my tattoo, that was part of a psychological healing process, and the pain was definitely part of what made that work.

 

[Dribble]

Endorphins

If they're engaging in S/M activities, it releases endorphins in the body that give one a boost in mood. Some people like a controlled S/M session as a kind of reset button to help with stress. Some people like to work through past trauma with it because they can go through some of the emotions with someone they feel safe with and know that there is a definite end to it. Going through pain and coming out on the other side ok can have positive effects on a persons ability to work through and handle stressful situations.

Also, some people just like a good fucking cry. When I have a full on rolling on the floor cry moment I only do it alone or with someone I trust and knows what is going on (The most important part is that they are aware of what's happening).

Sure....

People will believe what they want. There is no fucking global warming....carbon dioxide is not rising...ice is not melting...same here. Wonder what a professional thinks about this advice? Shall we ask?

But what is most important isnt what the professionals think....but what the op thinks...

 

[MeekMe]

Sure....

People will believe what they want. There is no fucking global warming....carbon dioxide is not rising...ice is not melting...same here. Wonder what a professional thinks about this advice? Shall we ask?

But what is most important isnt what the professionals think....but what the op thinks...

What the OP thinks is really not relevant when it comes to whether or not it is therapeutic (which you asked for an example and I gave). She spelled it out for him, he can either cope with her having a BDSM partner and try to make it work or he can leave. Demanding to go along and see isn't helpful at all if he doesn't understand what's happening.

 

[Dribble]

What the OP thinks is really not relevant when it comes to whether or not it is therapeutic (which you asked for an example and I gave). She spelled it out for him, he can either cope with her having a BDSM partner and try to make it work or he can leave. Demanding to go along and see isn't helpful at all if he doesn't understand what's happening.

Obviously you cant read. Try reading my post again....then getting back to me.

 

[midwestyankee]

Obviously you cant read. Try reading my post again....then getting back to me.

Obviously, you can't do civil adult. There, the two of you are even but I and many, many others here will always like Meeks because she treats everyone with respect. It's a neat concept. I bet your kindergarten teacher might enjoy a second chance to teach it to you.

 

[Farawyn]

OP, please check in. I'm curious to know how this turned out for you!

 

[Blue]

Obviously you cant read. Try reading my post again....then getting back to me.

The professionals would tell somebody to do something they find therapeutic as long as it's safe because 'therapeutic' is a personally subjective concept.

If you can't comprehend that somebody might find degradation or pain, or whatever it is OP's partner is into, therapeutic (or maybe even just enjoyable) then maybe this isn't the forum for you.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Primalex]

My gp recently described therapy as a cup of tea and chat with a friend

which sounds totally wrong to me. Therapy has a goal that you work on. But as you pay per session, some therapists have the tendency to lose their focus. Not saying this is the case in this particular case, such a description just makes me wary.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

which sounds totally wrong to me. Therapy has a goal that you work on. But as you pay per session, some therapists have the tendency to lose their focus. Not saying this is the case in this particular case, such a description just makes me wary.

Perhaps the distinction here is between therapy and therapeutic?