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Look, a small proportion of people will bring a knife to your kidney to steal your wallet.It doesn't matter that it's only a small proportion of the population - risk management means we have to assume it could be ANY man.
Look, a small proportion of people will bring a knife to your kidney to steal your wallet.
It's not like you are afraid to go out of the house because of that.
I don't know what experiences you have had in the past, but it doesn't mean that people are actually scared of this shit all the time.
You are basically say that you are scared and wary because it COULD happen. Are you scared when eating food that you may get sick? Are you scared to cross the road because you COULD be hit by a car? Are you actually scared to go out to the nature because you COULD bump into a bear?
No.
You know why? Because the majority of experiences is positive.
It's true, I'll give you that. You are saying the truth that everybody do a risk assesment when meeting new people. I do it too - all the time.
But does it mean negative emotions? No. Because my experience is generally positive about this. And I'm willing to bet that 95% of women have a generally harmless and positive experience of being complimented or meeting new guys who want to befriend them.
You don't get SCARED or freaked out, or creeped out, as Bramblethorn have suggested.
You may get annoyed, I'll give you that - when you are not looking for relationship.
But if you are single and looking for a boyfriend? A good looking man, good clothes, no ogre expression on his face - comes up to you and says he likes you and wants to know you better? In the middle of the street, in broad daylight, with hundreds of people around you? I think you won't turn him down because you are scared shitless of him being a creep and molesting you right in front of all the witnesses. You may still turn him down for other reasons, but not like this.
If you do, well, then we have a completely different experience, is all I can say.
Oh; so people who are good looking aren't creepy? Only unattractive people?
It's not just who or where, it's how. That you do not see that this could be discomforting is perhaps an issue, people who would see it could be discomforting might approach with a certain softening approach or humour that makes it not so. Perhaps your approach is naturally so![]()
Fwiw , it bears reminder most assaults are by people known to us, not people in the street but known to us can include dating.

Well I'm very sorry for whatever happened to you. But you should understand that not nearly a lot of women have such traumatic experiences. In fact, I would go as far as to say that only a few percent would have something like that happen in their life.I thought for sure this would be stated at some point. I'm not particularly fond of people when they use this statistic to tell others not to be so disturbed by strangers. I know you aren't using it like this Elle, but before it comes to that I'll just say that I'm one of those people in the statistic. And to anyone that wants to use it to justify being approached by strangers as not being somehow scary: how should one react to the unknown stranger when they have already been assaulted by someone known and trusted? If someone that claims to have cared for me could do that, I don't like my chances with the stranger that has absolutely no reason to care about my wellbeing.
I don't run away screaming in terror, but I'm on edge towards those that are unknown to me.
No. But some people are looking and acting creepy. I'm just isolating this case right away, saying that the guy who approaches looks fine, because otherwise the next argument would have been "it depends who he is/how he looks/how he talks/ etc."Oh; so people who are good looking aren't creepy? Only unattractive people?
Never said it couldn't.That you do not see that this could be discomforting is perhaps an issue
Here's the funny thing. You are telling me all your girlfriends find this thing creepy.Don't believe what and countless other women say.
I agree with this post entirely.
No, I wanted not something I felt uncomfortable about posting not out there. I quoted you and in asking you not to quote me was aware you were exposed and might not care to be under another's posting power for that, that's all![]()
Nezbul, how do we know how many go through this?
All we know is that anecdotally a lot of these are not reported.
I mentioned my surprise when women report never having felt compromised. Maybe add those facts together.

How old are you?
How old was she?
Dating world does not so much change as refresh and outgrow.
Another generation - another rules. Doesn't mean the older generation adjusts to those rules.
Also, I don't know what you think of yourself, but I'm not actually interested in you enough to remember facts about your personal life.
YOU are making assumptions about how the entire woman population all around the world THINKS. Or at the very least - the majority of them.
But if you are single and looking for a boyfriend? A good looking man, good clothes, no ogre expression on his face
- comes up to you and says he likes you and wants to know you better? In the middle of the street, in broad daylight, with hundreds of people around you? I think you won't turn him down because you are scared shitless of him being a creep and molesting you right in front of all the witnesses. You may still turn him down for other reasons, but not like this.
If you do, well, then we have a completely different experience, is all I can say.
Uh huh......When I started dating, I read a lot of manuals on how to get a girlfriend,
Wait.what to talk about, etc. They were for my country, i.e. they covered Russia and what works here. I remember reading several times that pretty girls get used to approaching men, because they get approached several times a week, or even a few times a day, if they are active.
I don't think this info was false. In fact, I think that's just how it works here.
Again, this statistics is for US. It's not for the entire world.
All I can say is, I think it's much less of this shit where I leave. Of course you hear about bad things from time to time, but that's just how crime works. It happens, everywhere.
I don't think in Russia it's as widespread.
But I can't really find any real stats, because whatever I find mostly concerns real rape. And not what we are talking about here (I hope).
Also Russia is lousy in that respect because as far as I know not even all rape cases are accepted by the police to start any sort of investigation. Let alone simple harrasment without rape. So these kinds of things won't even be reported properly and thus not even registered.
So basically I can't pull numbers. Just from what people are talking about - I can say that it's very rare when someone is molested or sexually harassed here. Not as rare as it doesn't happen at all, but so rare that most of the girls, thankfully, avoid that experience.
Of course you can argue that I'm death to evidence or that these things are discussed only among women exclusively. But I think I'd have heard something.
What does ease have to do with it?...but you think the rate would be much LOWER for Russia, even though it's easier for perpetrators to escape consequences?
Wait for it.... Waaaait for it........ aaaand..... no. pfff.Russian women appear to disagree with you. https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ories-go-viral
(waits for the inevitable "you can't believe anything that people publish about Russia" response)
All you POST are assumptions.That's a big assumption.
Yeah, sure. And they do such a good job at this, that when men hear about someone being harassed so damn rarely that it makes the talk of the day. Women are molested and assaulted every day. Men just don't know about it - hear about it once every few months, when some girl does a mediocre job at consealing her misfortune.In my experience women who've been assaulted/abused are very selective in who they tell about it, ESPECIALLY men.
What does ease have to do with it?
We just don't do that. Don't think it's appropriate.
Oh, and surely if hundreds of women are sharing such stories - this means ALL Russian women are regularly sexually assaulted.
Yeah, right.
Look, you can find such article for EVERY country on the planet. Rape happens. Everywhere. Violence happens.
It's the question of how often this happens, and this article doesn't really give you any idea about that. Again, there's no reliable stats.
All you POST are assumptions.
Look, Bramblethorn, I can't say what screwed up shit happens to women in US. Seriously I can't, but from what you say - molesting and harrasment is your NORM, and a lot of girls go through this in some form. Just like screwed up shit like school shootings is your NORM, because it happens several times a year. It doesn't mean it happens EVERYWHERE ON THE DAMN PLANET.
But I will damn well bet that you can't say shit about Russia. You can find news articles - yes - but you can find those about ANYTHING. They are not representative.
Oh, my sweet summer child.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man
Yeah, that's the point we have been trying to make to you in this thread.
Yup. And that, in itself, tells us something.
When there are no stats about an important issue, that's not an accident. Governments decide what stats they want to collect. They make those decisions (1) on the basis of what kinds of policy they care about (obviously if you want to manage an economy you need economic data, etc. etc.) and (2) what will make them look good.
If the Russian government chooses not to collect stats about harassment and abuse of women, it means that they don't care about that issue (quite likely because they think their citizens don't care either), or because they suspect the data might look bad if they did publish it.
Similar things happen in other countries. For instance, at the behest of Republican legislators the US CDC are specifically banned from using their funding to do research into gun deaths... for reasons that will be obvious to anybody with a working knowledge of US politics.
Collecting data about sensitive topics like this is a very tricky area, but there are ways to do it and many countries do do it. The fact that Russia officially doesn't even want to know how good or bad the situation is... suggests that it's bad.
This, as you know full well, is an outright lie. Anybody who wants to read the history of this thread, or others where we've talked, can see that I've provided links to scientific studies, articles about violence against women, dictionary definitions, and statistical analysis, inter alia. I have done far more to provide evidence for my position than you have ever done for yours.
...and there you've made another wrong assumption. Let me know when you've figured out your mistake.
Indeed. I'd much prefer to cite representative stats - I'm a data wonk at heart - but Russia doesn't bother to collect them.
And that says a whole lot about the situation in Russia right there.
You are mixing the apples with the oranges there.
First of all gun violence is NOT a disease, it is raw violence.
The CDC has far more important public issues to deal with, like antibiotics not working anymore.
If you want the gun violence stats go to the FBI's UCR site. It's all there, all of it.
Why should the taxpayer be soaked for duplication's of data accumulation? It's not a 'Republican' issue, it's a common sense issue. Just how many fucking government agencies am I supposed to support to provide me the same information?
Despite the name, CDC's remit is not limited to "disease". Once upon a time it did focus solely on communicable diseases, but that scope was expanded a long time ago to include health more generally. For example, CDC funds research into injuries, partner and sexual violence, etc. etc.
That's certainly an important issue! But it's possible for an agency to do more than one thing.
Okay, I'll bite...
Let's suppose I'm interested in accidental shootings: toddler shoots sister, that sort of thing. I want to understand the extent of the problem and what sort of factors contribute to accidental shootings. (Should we be focussing on safety education? Storage requirements? Are some kinds of households more likely than others to experience accidental shootings, so we can target our efforts at those households?)
Can you point me to the data on the UCR site that I could use to answer those questions?
I wasn't talking about duplication of data. UCR is very useful for some things, but there are others - like the example I gave above - where it doesn't go very far.
Some of that deficiency is about scope: UCR is about crime, and it's not very helpful for shootings that aren't considered crimes.
But it's also about skills. If you want to answer questions like "what circumstances increase the risk of accidental shootings and how can we reduce that risk?" that's fundamentally a public health/epidemiology question, which puts it in CDC's area of expertise.
And in some cases, it's also about not being cops. Health research quite often involves questions about illegal activity: is drug use a factor in shootings? What about shootings that weren't reported to the cops? You're more likely to get truthful answers to those questions if your card says "CDC" rather than "FBI".