Getting std tests

[Bisub2112]

As i post on boards such as craigslist, here or ok cupid, as a bi married male I naturally want my prospective partner to get bloodwork done assuring we are both safe, I will share mine too but as soon a I ask for this I get no additional replies.

My question is, am I the only one who wants safe sex? The ones who reply with, "i am clean etc " are they in denial? Or, do they just do not want to know?

Why do I feel like I am wrong for wanting to make sure?

Thanks all!

 

[Chrissi]

As i post on boards such as craigslist, here or ok cupid, as a bi married male I naturally want my prospective partner to get bloodwork done assuring we are both safe, I will share mine too but as soon a I ask for this I get no additional replies.

My question is, am I the only one who wants safe sex? The ones who reply with, "i am clean etc " are they in denial? Or, do they just do not want to know?

Why do I feel like I am wrong for wanting to make sure?

Thanks all!

Well you ask the age old question...the answer to which is a resounding............................. .."....................
Crickets

All kidding aside, caring about your status and your partner's status is valid and responsible (to say the least). But don't expect open arms and trumpets on sites like Craigslist (does anyone still use that?) or OkCupid or whatever.

Best is to treat all partners as status unknown, and protect yourself.

If you are an HIV- male, and are sexually active, you should have a discussion with your PCP and research PrEP (Truvada). It's not for everyone, but it should be researched and considered.

Also Consider getting your HEP b and c vaccinations.

You should always use condoms!

Nothing is 100% safe anymore.

And lastly get regularly tested yourself.

Hope this helped a little.
And to answer your direct questions:
No, you are not alone;
Yes, they are in denial, or worse; and
No, you are not wrong for asking, but don't expect others to have ready tests available. If I recall a recent study, please don't quote me on this, that a significant number of Grindr users where status unknown, despite indicating they were negative.

 

[KindofHere]

,,,,,,,,,

 

[hylas_]

In my experience, most guys just use condoms. Breaking out the test results for a hook-up seems too much of a hassle (I honestly don't even know where mine would be), plus it's kind of an invasive question from someone you haven't even met yet. Sure, not completely unreasonable, but still invasive.

Just use a condom. If that's not safe enough for you, take prep.

 

[Chrissi]

In my experience, most guys just use condoms. Breaking out the test results for a hook-up seems too much of a hassle (I honestly don't even know where mine would be), plus it's kind of an invasive question from someone you haven't even met yet. Sure, not completely unreasonable, but still invasive.

Just use a condom. If that's not safe enough for you, take prep.

While I agree with what you say, I guess I'm not of the camp that "finding" test results is a hassle. I know the exact date of mine. and most lab results these days are readily accessible over your smartphone.

 

[photobuff56]

A lot of the guys I see post ob squirt say when or if they have been tested some just say im clean, some say im pos or poz and taking prep.

 

[Username_of_Sean]

This is why I want to know partners before fucking them. I'm also a married guy that expects to exchange paperwork. Even if I was single though, I think it's important to know my partners' statuses.

 

[yukonnights]

I do not think you are in anyway wrong for expecting proof of negative claims. It's been mentioned about using condoms, which is a no-brainer with strangers (IMO)...but, there are also STD's transmitted through oral sex and from both male and female. I know a lot of folks like the casual hook-up, but if I had these STD worries in my head while in bed with a stranger...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get any disease, because I'm also pretty sure I would be limp as a frightened worm in a chicken coop...

 

[jackstud]

Chrissi, such a classy AV. Looking good babe

 

[nittfagm]

Oral?

It seems like there is much less worry about oral sex passing STDs. It sounds like many folks don't even worry about STDs when it comes to blow jobs.

I know it's possible to get STDs from oral, but is there really a much lower risk than penetrative sex?

Should a bi-curious guy insist on a condom for a blow job?

 

[debycha1968]

Less risk but still a risk

It seems like there is much less worry about oral sex passing STDs. It sounds like many folks don't even worry about STDs when it comes to blow jobs.

I know it's possible to get STDs from oral, but is there really a much lower risk than penetrative sex?

Should a bi-curious guy insist on a condom for a blow job?

I don't know the numbers but from what i have read, there is a reduced risk of transmission through oral. That having been said, as a married male, the idea of spreading something to my wife is the worst thing i can imagine. So any risk has to be taken seriously. I know some people will say the chance is extremely small but i won't suck strangers at all. I had to live through the fear of having caught something once and it was the worst experience of my life trying to figure out how I would tell my wife. It ended up being just and bladder infection on my partner but it left a lasting impression on me.

 

[Vad_40]

STD Tests--assuming they're 100% error free--are ONLY good until the next sex act.

A Negative Test result is no immunity from future infections--it merely shows the results of past
actions--up to the time of the test. In other words, having sex after the test renders the results
useless.

 

[Chrissi]

STD Tests--assuming they're 100% error free--are ONLY good until the next sex act.

A Negative Test result is no immunity from future infections--it merely shows the results of past
actions--up to the time of the test. In other words, having sex after the test renders the results
useless.

I get what you're saying, but careful! Most STDs and especially HIV have an exposure window...for instance you can be exposed to HIV and be positive, but yet test neg due to not enough time having passed. I'm not the expert, but my doc has always told me, any sex within 3 months is not going to show up on the results.
Many of us who are sexually active, either take PrEP (I do) and get tested regularly (I do 4 or more times a year)
I limit exposure by playing with trusted friends. Condoms are not 100% but are the best outside of abstenance...

I'm sure there are probably different time windows for the different types of tests too...whether antibody, saliva, etc. I use both the rapid tests and regular full blown blood tests.