M/S contract negotiations

[Silveruni19]

New to BDSM... I've come across a Master that I want to be his slave. In most contracts that I've come across, either the Master provides all for the slave or the slave gives all possessions to the master. Neither will work in our case because I'm married to someone else. The Master presented me with a contract where I fill in the blanks as to what I'm willing to pay as dues to him on a monthly basis. Of course he will accept or reject, but does anyone else have a contract like this? Need advice on what amount to put in the blank without him being offended? I've tried to find examples online but to no avail. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

 

[submit4pleasure]

After reading this, I'm both confused and kinda horrified. Why would you need to pay him anything at all? I don't consider myself any sort of expert, but I've NEVER given anyone who owned me money, and can't imagine why I would need to. This just sounds fishy to me.

 

[Eva_Star]

I will admit that I do not know much about m/s relationships outside of the one I am in but I have never heard of the slaves paying the master in this way. It may happen...I don't know. I would just recommend being very cautious.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Unless giving your master money turns you on and is your kink as in financial domination money should not be part of any "contract"

Also a contract is not a required part of all M/s relationships.

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

First and foremost, before you go handing out sensitive information or finances to anyone, let alone invite them into your life/any compromising scenarios, you'd better be damn sure you know who you're talking to. How long have you known them? Have you met them? Do you know what their about? Don't set yourself up for a bad situation because you lack experience. Unless this is some sort of exploding offer, there's no reason to offer anything other than your time, seeing as how you are self admittedly new to this.

Like others have said, it sounds sketchy. I'd urge you to error on the side of caution, and if there is some kind of time limit being imposed, I would look elsewhere for what you need. Chances are, you don't want anything to do with them if they are making all sorts of demands from the start. That's a huge neon sign pointing you in the direction of the fucking door.

 

[submit4pleasure]

Unless giving your master money turns you on and is your kink as in financial domination money should not be part of any "contract"

Also a contract is not a required part of all M/s relationships.

In r/l, I've had two long-term Masters and one Mistress. I didn't have a contract with any of them. Contracts seem overly formal to me.

And, please think about everything Necro said above!! His advice is spot on.

 

[cookiecat]

Run far far far away from this person.

Unless financial domination is the basis for your relationship - you should never ever have to pay someone, ever.

I know everyone above me has basically said this, I'm joining the chorus.

DO NOT PAY HIM "MONTHLY DUES"

 

[Silveruni19]

Thank you everyone!!! I'm grateful for this community!!! I won't be paying anything.

 

[welldun4u2]

Thank you everyone!!! I'm grateful for this community!!! I won't be paying anything.

I agree with all the cautions stated above but is there any reason the dues can't be time face to face instead of money?

 

[Blue]

Don't think that as the 'slave' you don't have any negotiation power nor the ability to say no yourself.
If you be a doormat and let him take the lead and be the center of and on every issue you're probably not going to enjoy whatever so-called relationship spawns out of that.

 

[MastersDelight]

Yeah what others have said. Unless financial domination is your thing, I wouldn't give him any money. I've NEVER heard of money being part of a M/s agreement. If a contract makes you both feel better then go for it, but it's not a requirement either. To me it seems that time given to him is far more demanding and meaningful to a M/s dynamic than putting money into an account each month.

 

[S3xSlav3]

I saw a lot of that type of contract online when I started reading about the term BDSM and Slave relationships. I also see money change hands on twitter. To me those are false relationships. Those are dominant type looking to make a buck. They prey on the slave type and do not really care about them. Its a one sided relationship with no real emotion.

 

[MeekMe]

I saw a lot of that type of contract online when I started reading about the term BDSM and Slave relationships. I also see money change hands on twitter. To me those are false relationships. Those are dominant type looking to make a buck. They prey on the slave type and do not really care about them. Its a one sided relationship with no real emotion.

You'd be wrong about the people that enjoy financial domination.

 

[slavemelanie]

Is this perhaps a "Professional" Dom or Dominatrix.?... I have heard that their are such people that charge for their services. I don't have first hand experience but thought maybe that could be the reason. There are plenty of willing people out their to share experiences and even take on the responsibility of Ownership for the joy and reward of doing so.... so be careful of someone wanting to charge you.

 

[Silveruni19]

No he is not a professional Dom that charges for services. If so, I think he would've had set prices.

 

[MeekMe]

No he is not a professional Dom that charges for services. If so, I think he would've had set prices.

The bottom line is if you aren't comfortable giving someone money, then don't. It's not uncommon for it to be a scam. If you haven't known this person long enough to have a relationship, I would suggest slowing down and really getting to know someone before you agree to submit to them. Treat this as you would regular dating and go at the pace you are comfortable with.

 

[Primalex]

New to BDSM... I've come across a Master that I want to be his slave.

The term "slave" is used by people to (falsely) describe any kind of relationship that includes power exchange while it is also used to describe a particular kind of power exchange relationship that emphasizes no-limits-submission.

It seems to me that you are talking about becoming the first kind of "slave", while he is talking about the second kind of "slave".

My suggestion:
Do not ever use the term "slave" again.