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How To Get To Heaven When You Die

DO YOU ACCEPT JESUS GIFT OF SALVATION BELIEVING HE DIED N ROSE AGAIN FOR YOUR SINS?

  • YES

    Votes: 48 16.4%

  • NO

    Votes: 148 50.5%

  • I ALREADY ACCEPTED JESUS GIFT OF SALVATION BEFORE

    Votes: 62 21.2%

  • OTHER

    Votes: 35 11.9%
  • Total voters
    293
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Hypoxia said:
I am Disputatius of Borg.
People gonna believe what they wanna believe.
Nobody is converted or assimilated.
Argument is futile.
Click to expand...

Some will accept Christ. Thank God for them.

View Poll Results: DO YOU ACCEPT JESUS GIFT OF SALVATION BELIEVING HE DIED N ROSE AGAIN FOR YOUR SINS?
YES 10 10.99%
NO 47 51.65%
I ALREADY ACCEPTED JESUS GIFT OF SALVATION BEFORE 26 28.57%
OTHER
 
WWJD on the Sabbath?

Would he be on a porn board, sowing contention?
 
DesEsseintes said:
I can imagine Mr Baggins searching for prostitutes online, just so that he can sweatily,furiously, forgive them. Perhaps not with a laying on of his sticky hands, though.
Click to expand...

Des, the visual here just make me gag a bit. If I'm going to gag, dear, please make it the good sort of gagging.
 
Que said:
WWJD on the Sabbath?

Would he be on a porn board, sowing contention?
Click to expand...

I am here for those who want to discuss this. I am here only in this thread and do not invade other threads. You have the choice to skip or discuss this topic.
 
“If you will not have God (and He is a jealous God) you should pay your respects to Hitler or Stalin.”

T. S. Eliot
 
xfrodobagginsx said:
I am here for those who want to discuss this. I am here only in this thread and do not invade other threads. You have the choice to skip or discuss this topic.
Click to expand...

So how did you come by this site? Deliberately targeted the site or just came across it trolling for sinners? What were you doing viewing pornographic material containing sites? Doing it for Jesus?
 
Hard_Rom said:
So how did you come by this site? Deliberately targeted the site or just came across it trolling for sinners? What were you doing viewing pornographic material containing sites? Doing it for Jesus?
Click to expand...
I've been cooking a couple of Yeshua stories for quite a while. The inspiration was The Lost Years Of Jesus.

Assuming he existed (and there's no corroboration) what was he doing between ages 12 and 30? My first plotline had him herding goats in the Galilee, studying in Athens, working as a male prostitute in Alexandria, learning Buddhism and tantric sex in Nepal, crewing a pervo pirate ship in the tropics, and banking in Damascus, before returning to Palestine and joining the Jewish Revolt as a guerilla leader. (Romans called guerillas 'bandits' or 'thieves' when they crucified them.)

My second pass has him writing letters home to his mother Miriam (Mary), his brother Yaoquim (James), and his old girlfriend Magga (Mary Magdalene), telling rather different stories to each. He's nice to mom, teasing to Magga, and tell-all obscene to Yaoquim. There's plenty of room for pervo orgies in the Yeshua tale.

Why do biblical-text-thumpers come to LIT? For the sex. Reminds me of one of the first 'nasty' books I read when I was young, detailing being raped with a crucifix. Holy, holy, holy...

(BTW I was a student at Oral Roberts U and I've been ordained a couple times.)
 
Hypoxia said:
I've been cooking a couple of Yeshua stories for quite a while. The inspiration was The Lost Years Of Jesus.

Assuming he existed (and there's no corroboration) what was he doing between ages 12 and 30? My first plotline had him herding goats in the Galilee, studying in Athens, working as a male prostitute in Alexandria, learning Buddhism and tantric sex in Nepal, crewing a pervo pirate ship in the tropics, and banking in Damascus, before returning to Palestine and joining the Jewish Revolt as a guerilla leader. (Romans called guerillas 'bandits' or 'thieves' when they crucified them.)

My second pass has him writing letters home to his mother Miriam (Mary), his brother Yaoquim (James), and his old girlfriend Magga (Mary Magdalene), telling rather different stories to each. He's nice to mom, teasing to Magga, and tell-all obscene to Yaoquim. There's plenty of room for pervo orgies in the Yeshua tale.

Why do biblical-text-thumpers come to LIT? For the sex. Reminds me of one of the first 'nasty' books I read when I was young, detailing being raped with a crucifix. Holy, holy, holy...

(BTW I was a student at Oral Roberts U and I've been ordained a couple times.)
Click to expand...

18-30 jesus stories

i've never been ordained.
 
neci said:
funeral rites?

i am not certified, but know several people who are. have you ever preformed a service? wedding or other?
Click to expand...

A hand fasting. Not sure about funeral rites, I assume yes.
 
islandman said:
Hypoxia said:
(BTW I was a student at Oral Roberts U and I've been ordained a couple times.)
Click to expand...
Did the first time not take?
Click to expand...
Ordinations by stone-drunk Free Baptist bishops, especially if performed in Mexico City pulquerias, need reinforcing. Universal Life Church ordinations are better documented and more plenipotentiary. I've already granted divinity status to all living organisms in this universe. Yes, you are a god. Behave, now. Don't fuck up.
 
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