Dome with a inexpreniced sub

[KG89]

Hi everyone, im new here. Im a 27 year old dome who haslived lifestyle about 3 years. and i dont know as much as I would like. Espeacially when it comes to dealing with a sub who has had fantsies and desire to be in a D/S relationship but has never done so before.

I have been in two real D/S relationships, while one was more relaxed it was a very casual affair, while the second we spent almost 2 years together. Yet both partners were experienced and had helped introduce me into the world of Kink.

The question i like to ask is now ya have a little knowledge about me is, I have a new partner/sub relationship and will she has never been in one. And were i live I do not any other Dome's or Sub's to help me. I have introduced slowly as i can yet she seems to want to push the envlope way faster than I desire. As im worried she will get bored and start finding the D/S unexciting.

Maybe im being cautious to much, cause everytime I have introduce something to the play she seems to go above and beyond what even I would have expected. One day while talking she asked if she can start reporting to me whenever she goes anywhere. of course I agreed than overtime added that she shows me what shes wearing for the day and i must approve.

I just want to know is it me or do I have an overeager sub and should just be happy to have found her and have her in my life?

 

[CutieMouse]

She's probably dealing with sub frenzy. That kid in the candy store, must do all the kink NOW feeling is pretty commonplace... so much so that its got a name.

You run the show; you decide the pace. Don't let her eagerness create insecurity.

 

[KG89]

Ok thanks, any suggestions and how to curb help, and didnt know there was a a phrase for wow, thanks again.

I think I slow slow down new activities for awhile, she has done well which is why i have rewarded her with more things we can do. Maybe need to focus the rewards on something else than new stuff to do.

 

[SpunThings]

Ok thanks, any suggestions and how to curb help, and didnt know there was a a phrase for wow, thanks again.

I think I slow slow down new activities for awhile, she has done well which is why i have rewarded her with more things we can do. Maybe need to focus the rewards on something else than new stuff to do.

Just keep the conversation open, and make sure she knows what you're doing. I've read other people say you can only go as fast as the slowest partner. It's pretty true.

 

[CutieMouse]

Ok thanks, any suggestions and how to curb help, and didnt know there was a a phrase for wow, thanks again.

I think I slow slow down new activities for awhile, she has done well which is why i have rewarded her with more things we can do. Maybe need to focus the rewards on something else than new stuff to do.

On the flip side... is it possible she isn't quite the delicate little flower you think she is? It's not like there are instruction manuals out there saying "do X activity for Y amount of time, at Z pace, or thou shalt be excommunicated from the kinky forever!"

Order pizza, open a bottle of wine, go over a kinky checklist together(and talk/laugh a lot... including about sub frenzy), then have fun. Debrief/check in regularly, foster an environment of healthy communication and stop getting hung up on timelines.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I would acknowledge her eagerness as a positive and pleasing sign. It's far better than the alternative, and it bodes well.

Emphasize that, while it might be enjoyable to blitzkreig through all she's ever wanted to do, you're thinking of the longterm health of what you're building. That requires a measured pace - a pace you believe is right - ensuring that one brick is firmly in place before another is added. If she understands that you have a larger vision, it will help.

 

[KG89]

thanks guys, i was planning to talk with her tonight

 

[KayceeCharles]

Good luck in playing.

Go through "the interview", list all the kinks in the light system (red = no way in hell, yellow = may try later, green = try me now) and introduce them one or two at a time. Never hurts to start with something simple like orgasm denial... forbid her to move, then get her up to the edge, but stop, and verbally threaten her with punishment should she tip over.

I think the popular media had placed way too much emphasis on BDSM as if kink is some magic bullet to instant mindblowing orgasm or something. It's kinda sad, in a way. That a fetish is now also a fetish.