Trying to write, frustration

hadruprider

Literotica Guru
Joined
Dec 30, 2015
Posts
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I am trying to write my first story for the site, having read and commented on quite a few.
It's a frustrating process. In my head I have several intense stories that seem great. A lot of them are in a genre that I would describe as 'mild femdom' - women using their power over men to get what they want.
But when I start writing them down, suddenly the stories that seemed so real and vivid in my mind look incoherent and well, just rubbish. Some of the descriptive passages look OK but the plot structure looks weak and the dialogue terrible. Then I lose interest in the story.

Anyone else find this? Any suggestions?
 
Make yourself finish a story

Even a short one.

Until you do this, you will continue to fret, rather than improve.

Good luck.
 
I agree with what Nathan said.

Also, bear in mind that writing is learnt by doing - learn from your mistakes and struggles where you can, and keep going.

BTW keep hold of your earlier attempts - you might be able to polish them later, or use them as the idea for something better.

If it's any consolation, even professional authors can end up rewriting several times before getting their story how they wanted it.

While I think of it, you might find the "write right with Dmitri" articles on www.h2g2.com useful.
 
On the other hand, maybe writing isn't for you--at least for now. There's no requirement to write, especially to write to share it. Jot down the vignettes that are pushing at you to get written, even unpolished. And either leave it that way for now or see if then you want to push it further while still enjoying yourself. Writing shouldn't be like having major surgery without the knockout gas, and you don't "just have to" write. It sometimes seems like answers to this posed question on the forum presuppose that you'll go to prison unless you do write.
 
"Mild femdom" ? Women using their power over man to get what they want?



Oh, you are suggesting "temptation" and "seduction". In my eyes " temptation" is sewing the seeds of the act and "temptation" is actually causing the act and downfall. That's my warped interpretation.

I can tempt someone all day long to crawl in bed with me and fuck me in the ass like a bitch despite the fact they may be "straight". But, until they actually do it, they really haven't been successfully seduced. I suppose the middle ground factor not mentioned would be "lust".

So ultimately to get what I would want, I have to play on someone's lust and sexual desires to get what I want by convincing them that they really do want me? Hmm.... Sounds like a tangled web.

Complicated. But, that's not "power". That's playing on some's sexual desires to get what one wants.
 
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They may seem incoherent compared to your vision because you're just starting to put the images to to word.

You can't force it and if you're really frustrated take a break and look at it again in a few days.

The other idea is to just keep writing and not worry about 'is this good' once you complete it, then at least have a story and you could now start going through it and tweaking it.

We all started the same way and most of us were not great out of the gate.

Seeing you said your first piece is a femdom piece, it reminds me of my first story posted 6 years ago here. It was femdom, called "Almost Perfect" and was very far from decent never mind perfect.

Its so crappy grammar wise I've thought of pulling it, but then decided to leave it just to see I've improved over time.

Here is the link, take a quick peek and I bet you come away with, "Man, I can do better than that!"

https://www.literotica.com/s/almost-perfect-2
 
Get it all down in one go. You can't edit until you draft. An interesting topic to me so feel free to send me a note when you have something and I'll be glad to look at it for you. :rose: Many authors refer to this as the "shitty first draft." Give yourself permission to suck. Then you have something to edit.
 
I am trying to write my first story for the site, having read and commented on quite a few.
It's a frustrating process. In my head I have several intense stories that seem great. A lot of them are in a genre that I would describe as 'mild femdom' - women using their power over men to get what they want.
But when I start writing them down, suddenly the stories that seemed so real and vivid in my mind look incoherent and well, just rubbish. Some of the descriptive passages look OK but the plot structure looks weak and the dialogue terrible. Then I lose interest in the story.

Anyone else find this? Any suggestions?

Writing is something you can only get better at with time. I mean, you can find an editor and pick their brain, you can try writing exercises. Try forcing yourself to switch up narrative devices. If you usually write in first, try writing in third. If you usually do third-person-limited, try third-perspective-omniscient. Read your favorite books and pay close attention to how your favorite authors handle dialogue. Every author has a slightly different flavor and way of doing things, one might resonate with you more than it might with somebody else.

In my very early stories I didn't know that you weren't supposed to have two characters speaking within the same paragraph. It was a relatively small thing that I had managed to never pick up and all I had to do was scroll through my stories, occasionally hitting the 'return' key and it made a world of difference as far as readability and timing. Sometimes you move forward with a simple realization, other times you just gotta grind. Good luck!

I agree with what Nathan said.

Also, bear in mind that writing is learnt by doing - learn from your mistakes and struggles where you can, and keep going.

BTW keep hold of your earlier attempts - you might be able to polish them later, or use them as the idea for something better.

If it's any consolation, even professional authors can end up rewriting several times before getting their story how they wanted it.

While I think of it, you might find the "write right with Dmitri" articles on www.h2g2.com useful.

I used to write in notebooks. I burned all of them and I'm so upset. I thought that they were trash and I never wanted anyone to see them, but now I wish I could read back through them, see how much I've improved, find old plot bunnies that I didn't know what to do with when I was fourteen.

Stupid.

They may seem incoherent compared to your vision because you're just starting to put the images to to word.

You can't force it and if you're really frustrated take a break and look at it again in a few days.

The other idea is to just keep writing and not worry about 'is this good' once you complete it, then at least have a story and you could now start going through it and tweaking it.

We all started the same way and most of us were not great out of the gate.

Seeing you said your first piece is a femdom piece, it reminds me of my first story posted 6 years ago here. It was femdom, called "Almost Perfect" and was very far from decent never mind perfect.

Its so crappy grammar wise I've thought of pulling it, but then decided to leave it just to see I've improved over time.

Here is the link, take a quick peek and I bet you come away with, "Man, I can do better than that!"

https://www.literotica.com/s/almost-perfect-2

They say no artist can stand what they've made more than five years ago.
 
For many people, the most productive way to write is to 'write it long' and then edit it back. But, some people find it more productive to write it short - sometimes really short - and then fill it out.
 
I just finished my first story and and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be, this work for me. When something didn't sound right or I got stuck, I would just get the main idea down and continue with the story and when I thought of a better way to write it I would come back to it. Some parts I rewrote 5 or 6 times, and I'm still not happy with the beginning. Best of luck to you, I hope you find your way of what works for you.
 
I am trying to write my first story for the site, having read and commented on quite a few.
It's a frustrating process. In my head I have several intense stories that seem great. A lot of them are in a genre that I would describe as 'mild femdom' - women using their power over men to get what they want.
But when I start writing them down, suddenly the stories that seemed so real and vivid in my mind look incoherent and well, just rubbish. Some of the descriptive passages look OK but the plot structure looks weak and the dialogue terrible. Then I lose interest in the story.

Anyone else find this? Any suggestions?

You may need to read more. Every good writer should have other favorite authors. Pick up old favorites and notice things like how your favorite author describes a room or how they frame their dialogue. The more you read, the more tools you'll have to choose from when you reach a block.

Personally, when I re-read one of my own pages (especially erotica) and it's not doing it for me, I go back to the original fantasy and try to identify what exactly about that fantasy made it so irresistible for me in the first place. Was it a feeling of glorious helplessness? Was it the scent of the leather? Was it a look in her eye? Use all of your senses to explore the scene and be aware of which emotions are being triggered.

Also, there are a ton of resources online for how to punch up a plot.
 
You may need to read more. Every good writer should have other favorite authors. Pick up old favorites and notice things like how your favorite author describes a room or how they frame their dialogue. The more you read, the more tools you'll have to choose from when you reach a block.

Personally, when I re-read one of my own pages (especially erotica) and it's not doing it for me, I go back to the original fantasy and try to identify what exactly about that fantasy made it so irresistible for me in the first place. Was it a feeling of glorious helplessness? Was it the scent of the leather? Was it a look in her eye? Use all of your senses to explore the scene and be aware of which emotions are being triggered.

Also, there are a ton of resources online for how to punch up a plot.

So if you don't read enough to have favorite authors, you won't be a good writer?
 
So if you don't read enough to have favorite authors, you won't be a good writer?

It's probably a good rule of thumb?

Edit: I don't mean favorite authors as in "people you're fanatical about" or people who are perfect writers. Just other books you've read and can identify why it's good and how it had an impact on you as a reader.

For example, one of my favorites is JK Rowling. There's Harry Potter, of course, but she's also written The Casual Vacancy and mysteries under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. I absolutely love her ability to describe things. I love what she observes about people. I love her ability to create mystery (lowercase m) and suspense. However, she sometimes needs someone to tell her to edit down her books and tighten her plots. I've noticed she's been getting much better about that, though.
 
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I've read predominantly horror most of my life with an occasional fantasy tossed in. I never read erotica before I started writing it and even now only read maybe a handful of stories a year.

So I'm sure there might exist some influence in my writing from someone like Peter Straub or Robert McCammon or King, I can't spot it and it's probably subtle as the genre is so different.
 
Write - just write, even if it seems to be rubbish.

If you have conflicting ideas for a story, write down each idea in a separate document, save, move on to the next and keep going until one of the saved documents inspires you to write more.

If you get a few hundred words down and then get stuck again, switch to another documented idea, and write.

If you come to a complete full stop, shut down the computer and do something else for a few hours - go for a walk, tidy that room you have been going to do for days, bake a cake, kick a ball around...

Then start writing again.
 
It's probably a good rule of thumb?

Edit: I don't mean favorite authors as in "people you're fanatical about" or people who are perfect writers. Just other books you've read and can identify why it's good and how it had an impact on you as a reader.

For example, one of my favorites is JK Rowling. There's Harry Potter, of course, but she's also written The Casual Vacancy and mysteries under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. I absolutely love her ability to describe things. I love what she observes about people. I love her ability to create mystery (lowercase m) and suspense. However, she sometimes needs someone to tell her to edit down her books and tighten her plots. I've noticed she's been getting much better about that, though.

For some people, that might be helpful. Others might want to establish their own voice as an author.
 
Sturgeon's Law: 95% of everything is crap. Including what we write. I know my stuff is mostly crap but I post it anyway, and some people seem to like it. Don't fret too much. Write to your own satisfaction. It's not like you'll get paid, right?

I have some formulae for writing.

1) Play a video of the events in your head and blog the action.
2) Establish place and players and set them loose; transcribe what they do, edit and embellish, and go with it.
3) Steal a story, twist stuff around, make shit up, and call it your own. Shakespeare did that a lot.

Writing is easier than repairing auto engines. Cleaner, too.
 
Try breaking it down as you write.

-First, list out in a short phrase or sentence the scenes you want to tie together.
-Then, in no particular order, write each scene.
-Once you've got them written, play with the order until you're satisfied.
-Pull it all together and write any transitions you need to move from one part of the story the next.

Good
 
Sturgeon's Law: 95% of everything is crap. Including what we write.

That comment, of course, is included in the crap pile. It sounds kicky, but it's crap. 95 percent of what everyone writes isn't crap.
 
That comment, of course, is included in the crap pile. It sounds kicky, but it's crap. 95 percent of what everyone writes isn't crap.

Self deprecating is what it says to me. Sounds like a leading statement for "Oh, no, your stuff is not crap."
 
I am trying to write my first story for the site, having read and commented on quite a few.
It's a frustrating process. In my head I have several intense stories that seem great. A lot of them are in a genre that I would describe as 'mild femdom' - women using their power over men to get what they want.
But when I start writing them down, suddenly the stories that seemed so real and vivid in my mind look incoherent and well, just rubbish. Some of the descriptive passages look OK but the plot structure looks weak and the dialogue terrible. Then I lose interest in the story.

Anyone else find this? Any suggestions?

The only way to get good at writing is to write. Good critiques can speed up your progress, but without putting word to page, you'll never get better.
 
The only way to get good at writing is to write. Good critiques can speed up your progress, but without putting word to page, you'll never get better.
Agreed.

BTW I cheated slightly - I've read some (non fiction) prepublishing fragments and articles written by a friend elsewhere in the last few years, so I asked them to return the favour. :cool:

They're not familiar with this genre, but they have a good feel for what will or won't work. The other thing was, having them look at it helped me spot two continuity flaws and a problem with pace - too much at the same intensity.
 
For some people, that might be helpful. Others might want to establish their own voice as an author.

You don't read other authors to establish their voice as your own. You read them to find other perspectives--the same reason anyone reads different authors. You might find something you can adapt to a writing project or to life. You might find something you know you want to steer clear of. Social animals learn from others. Why would writing be in isolation?

Every interview I've read, seen or heard with a well-known author includes an admission that they are very prolific readers. You don't hear them admitting to reading how-to-write books, but you do hear them admitting to reading a wide range of books.

Not being a well-known writer, I'll admit to reading a couple of how-to-write books (King and Card). But I can't think of a single bit of advice that I was ever able to incorporate. How-to-write books explain how a particular writer does it. Like how-to-get-rich books. That doesn't mean you can't gain insight into how that writer's mind works and enrich in some way how you interpret their books.

rj
 
You don't read other authors to establish their voice as your own. You read them to find other perspectives--the same reason anyone reads different authors. You might find something you can adapt to a writing project or to life. You might find something you know you want to steer clear of. Social animals learn from others. Why would writing be in isolation?

Every interview I've read, seen or heard with a well-known author includes an admission that they are very prolific readers. You don't hear them admitting to reading how-to-write books, but you do hear them admitting to reading a wide range of books.

Not being a well-known writer, I'll admit to reading a couple of how-to-write books (King and Card). But I can't think of a single bit of advice that I was ever able to incorporate. How-to-write books explain how a particular writer does it. Like how-to-get-rich books. That doesn't mean you can't gain insight into how that writer's mind works and enrich in some way how you interpret their books.

rj

King had a few I could see as being practical enough to adopt.

But that "kill your darlings' suggestion-as in cut things out when you edit- makes me laugh....you read his stuff? He has not killed a darling in years, for proof see insomnia, the cure for said disease.
 
The "Kill your darlings" advice is like so much advice established writers put into their "how to" books. It seems they all have to have some sweeping, pithy, memorable advice to give. As others have pointed out, there isn't just one way to write. Yes, some are naturally verbose in draft. But others are naturally terse in draft, using the draft to get the basic plot line down and then filling out and enriching the weaving in review. There's no one road to getting there.

I haven't read Stephen King, but I've done more than read such authors as Tom Clancy and James Michener and they, indeed, were writers who needed to be followed with a hoe and the repeated question, "And what element of the story does this paragraph serve?"
 
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