Advice to men- How to form online friendships

[GingerFireFly]

Read profiles and posts. See people's taste snd only write when you match it. Don't expect to be an exception to what attracts someone just because you are attracted to them.

Use proper spelling, writing, and grammar. We're on a site that focuses on arousing with words. Intelligent is crazy sexy.

Don't demand or guilt. Needy isn't sexy. Ask people what they want or are willing to give.

I'll have occasional cyber flings with people who catch me when I'm horny and fascinate me, but if you want to be a long term friend share who you really are in and out of the bedroom.

Careful on the cut and paste and saying the same thing to multiple women, this red headed French/Irish American chick noticed when you call me a sexy Indian

Don't take busy now to mean not interested. Most of us ladies struggle to keep our boxes open because of the volume of mail. I don't always quickly respond to messages that interest me. It's ok to follow up politely.

 

[GingerFireFly]

I encourage other ladies to add to the list

 

[subgreen]

Good advice. I fail to do these things much of the time.

 

[Fierywhore]

Create you own profile, blank does nothing to create a mental picture of who wants to chat with us

 

[ssremember129]

This is very true. I know for me if a woman or man is witty, fun, great attitude and can talk about the world and her/his life they are head-and-shoulders above most. We place too much emphasis on how we look and body parts rather than the biggest sexual organ we have--our brains. Sex in the broad scheme is not about release--but how we get there.

 

[Penuche]

I encourage other ladies to add to the list

It's difficult when your OP said so much of what needed saying and said it so well.

 

[Penuche]

Create you own profile, blank does nothing to create a mental picture of who wants to chat with us

Oh yes, this^

Whatever's put into it helps litsers who don't know you work out whether they'd be wasting your time as well as theirs getting to know you.

BTW if you prefer to have a sparse profile, don't get huffy when people suggest posting more in the playground so that other litsers can get an idea of what you're like.

 

[GingerFireFly]

I'm new enough to not know what you mean by "in the playground", enlighten me?

 

[Penuche]

This is very true. I know for me if a woman or man is witty, fun, great attitude and can talk about the world and her/his life they are head-and-shoulders above most. We place too much emphasis on how we look and body parts rather than the biggest sexual organ we have--our brains. <snip>

Absolutely.

BTW I have to admit that I've never met a cock I didn't like (and maybe even desire) if I thought the owner of it had an attractive (ie. interesting etc) personality before seeing the rest.

 

[Penuche]

I'm new enough to not know what you mean by "in the playground", enlighten me?

This section http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=27

It's mostly word games, and is useful for getting to know the vibe coming off various litsers without going straight to PMs or similar.

 

[ssremember129]

One other thing I would say as the surest way a relationship gets in a rut is when one partner decides that being playful is no longer necessary. They "love you" so isn't that enough?

Never forget to reinvent with your mind what the other might be interested. If you don't ask (and only stand there in the doorway with your pants around your ankles saying, "you want to") what the other wants, don't assume they feel the same. That goes for both online and in person.

 

[sunandshadow]

Create you own profile, blank does nothing to create a mental picture of who wants to chat with us

This - I don't reply to people whose profile doesn't even make clear whether they are married and what country they live in.

 

[NextDoorSecret]

Talk TO the person on the other side of the computer, not AT them.

 

[pissaladiere]

read her bio at a bare minimum. If it's a defensive, negative tirade with a list of demands on how you must proceed to win her approval, then my suggestion is take her advice and giver her a wide berth.

 

[barefootgirl69]

There are females, like me, who choose not to put much information in their profile, so you will have to rely on my posts to see what interests me, or my point of views.

Likewise, I tend to answer messages even if a man's bio isn't filled out. It's nice if it is, but it isn't a requirement. I may simply discourage you, or say I'm not interested. I will look at posts (usually, but not always). Some of the most interesting conversations I've had have been with what is termed "a lurker".

That being said, if your bio or your first message is humorous, there is a likely chance I will write back. I try to do so regularly, but I am behind at the moment.

I will also add this. If I see you in a thread and you interest me, and I check your profile, if it makes me laugh or seems interesting, I will be the one contacting you to say hello. That doesn't mean I am offering myself to you, it simply means I am friendly and I love to laugh. It matters not if you are married or not, or where you are, or what your age is... this isn't match.com.

 

[Bookishleigh]

For me, an interesting av will go a long way - even better if it is actually YOU (and it doesn't have to be your whole face, but please not your penis). I'm not judging you on how you look but it's more humanizing - and I hate when people use avs of other individuals and try to pass them off as themselves.

 

[Conager]

For me, an interesting av will go a long way - even better if it is actually YOU (and it doesn't have to be your whole face, but please not your penis). I'm not judging you on how you look but it's more humanizing - and I hate when people use avs of other individuals and try to pass them off as themselves.

But my penis is spectacular. Truly.

 

[barefootgirl69]

But my penis is spectacular. Truly.

If this were the GB, there would be shouts of "prove it"...

 

[Britishguy1]

There are females, like me, who choose not to put much information in their profile, so you will have to rely on my posts to see what interests me, or my point of views.

Likewise, I tend to answer messages even if a man's bio isn't filled out. It's nice if it is, but it isn't a requirement. I may simply discourage you, or say I'm not interested. I will look at posts (usually, but not always). Some of the most interesting conversations I've had have been with what is termed "a lurker".

That being said, if your bio or your first message is humorous, there is a likely chance I will write back. I try to do so regularly, but I am behind at the moment.

I will also add this. If I see you in a thread and you interest me, and I check your profile, if it makes me laugh or seems interesting, I will be the one contacting you to say hello. That doesn't mean I am offering myself to you, it simply means I am friendly and I love to laugh. It matters not if you are married or not, or where you are, or what your age is... this isn't match.com.

But not everybody is such a sweetie like you.

 

[Penuche]

Bear in mind that if you're lonely, bored, or horny it's not the responsibility of any other litser, male or female, to meet your needs.

Instead of telling me (or any other litser) that you're feeling any of the above, try sending a joke (even a really bad one), asking about the music I'd want to wake up to, the one thing I'd never do etc.

I'll spell this out one more time: In order to get, you need to give.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I've been here 9 years and remain waiting for one worth the candle. They don't exist.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Bear in mind that if you're lonely, bored, or horny it's not the responsibility of any other litser, male or female, to meet your needs.

Instead of telling me (or any other litser) that you're feeling any of the above, try sending a joke (even a really bad one), asking about the music I'd want to wake up to, the one thing I'd never do etc.

I'll spell this out one more time: In order to get, you need to give.

How much does it cost to see your good side?

 

[Bookishleigh]

But my penis is spectacular. Truly.

If this were the GB, there would be shouts of "prove it"...

I say we institute GB law (somewhat akin to martial law) and make him prove it.

And I'm fine with penis pics...when they're requested. I don't want it all in my face without an invitation (a lot like real life).

 

[JulieAnn42]

I agree with so much that has been said. You will not get a reply from me for telling me what you plan to do to me. Be polite, be interesting.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I agree with so much that has been said. You will not get a reply from me for telling me what you plan to do to me. Be polite, be interesting.

Gimme a raincheck.