Cancer Etiquette?

[Lancecastor]

The mother of my first girlfriend was talking to my mother today after church.

Turns out she is dying of cancer; both breasts were removed last year, but the prognosis is death.

We used to run into each other from time to time, moreso when our sons played hockey, so we havent spoken in about 5 years or so.

Should i look her up? I think i should.

What's the etiquette for this?

 

[Queersetti]

I think a simple "I'll be thinking of you" note is appropriate. Be available if she wants to talk, but don't press it.

 

[Sean]

The girl has cancer, isn't she suffering enough?

 

[pensivepoet]

If someone hadn't spoke to me for 5 yrs, then when I get diagnosed with death, they come around...hmm, I'd probably say fuck you!
But I'm funny that way when I'm dying.
I'd go with a note.

 

[Batch]

Follow her lead, if she needs more she'll ask. You may get no reply, so be prepared.
Or more than you can handle, depending on where she is at with her approaching death.
One never knows if they'll be serious and sad, or amused or accepting.

 

[Bert Notorius]

is she hot?

 

[Lancecastor]

is she hot?

Gymnast, brunette, 5'2...used to have nice tits.

 

[Aphro]

Maybe a nice card just saying that you had heard the news about her mum, and that you're sorry to hear it.

I'm assuming it's the daughter you are thinking of here, not the woman who is dying.

 

[thør]

The mother of my first girlfriend was talking to my mother today after church.

Turns out she is dying of cancer; both breasts were removed last year, but the prognosis is death.

We used to run into each other from time to time, moreso when our sons played hockey, so we havent spoken in about 5 years or so.

Should i look her up? I think i should.

What's the etiquette for this?

Don't say, "How are ya?"

Unless you really want her to answer.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Den

Our second son called several times today. His wife's dad just died of cancer. It was all through his body. His wife told son that her dad aged ten years from this morning till 2PM when he passed.
Cancer is not good. The guy just turned 76 this month and his memory faded in weeks.

 

[Lancecastor]

Maybe a nice card just saying that you had heard the news about her mum, and that you're sorry to hear it.

I'm assuming it's the daughter you are thinking of here, not the woman who is dying.

The daughter is the one with cancer.

 

[Lancecastor]

Follow her lead, if she needs more she'll ask. You may get no reply, so be prepared.
Or more than you can handle, depending on where she is at with her approaching death.
One never knows if they'll be serious and sad, or amused or accepting.

What if she wants sex?

 

[Saint Peter]

What if she wants sex?

The cancer spread to her brain?



So sad.

 

[yossi]

...used to have nice tits.

I wouldn't mention that in the note.

 

[Lancecastor]

I wouldn't mention that in the note.

No, probly not.... She always had a tight little bum, i'll go with that instead.

 

[pensivepoet]

What if she wants sex?

I think only butt cancer is catchy.

 

[Batch]

I think only butt cancer is catchy.

Ass Cancer. Serious shit that, so watch out, lest it catch you.

 

[Aphro]

The daughter is the one with cancer.

Oh, shit.

Are her kids still young?

 

[warrior queen]

When my cancer was diagnosed, I had several people from my past contact me.
My response was to politely thank them for their concern and then go back to letting them ignore me once they assuaged their curiosity/guilt.
Basically, fuck em. If they couldn't be bothered to stay in touch before I got sick, why the hell should it be any different now?

Etiquette for cancer? There is none.
Ask yourself if you have made enough of an effort to stay in touch prior to this. No? Then what makes you think she wants to hear from you now?

 

[Sean]

Oh, shit.

Are her kids still young?

You'd be well advised to assume every word the Groveller types is a lie until proven otherwise.

 

[Lancecastor]

Oh, shit.

Are her kids still young?

University aged i think.

 

[pensivepoet]

When my cancer was diagnosed, I had several people from my past contact me.
My response was to politely thank them for their concern and then go back to letting them ignore me once they assuaged their curiosity/guilt.
Basically, fuck em. If they couldn't be bothered to stay in touch before I got sick, why the hell should it be any different now?

Etiquette for cancer? There is none.
Ask yourself if you have made enough of an effort to stay in touch prior to this. No? Then what makes you think she wants to hear from you now?

That's what I said but you said it better.

 

[Aella_]

I agree with WQ.
Because (in some cases -not all, of course-) it's not about you, it's about Them - to show themselves and/or the world that they are caring.

I witnessed an unpleasant scenario where a gooddie-doer's displays were rejected, which led to her turning her subsequent anger on the person who was going through a misfortune. Empathy and batting of eyelashes gone: puff out of the window.

 

[sr71plt]

It's sort of fun to see how many bit on this and still haven't figured it out.

 

[Noor]

I think a simple "I'll be thinking of you" note is appropriate. Be available if she wants to talk, but don't press it.

I am with Q. If she does talk you might want to offer some form of assistance like rides, or picking up groceries.

People have a lot of reasons why they lose touch, you never know what is happening in someone else's life.