how to

[DonkeyDonnie]

new to this.
my wife wants me to be the dom.
she wants me to spank her and tell her what to do.
looking for something like a script, or should I read some stories.
I'm normally a soft cuddly kinda guy, I don't mind the spanking part, I just don't know what to say to without sounding like a douche

thanks for any help, please go easy

 

[cascadiabound]

new to this.
my wife wants me to be the dom.
she wants me to spank her and tell her what to do.
looking for something like a script, or should I read some stories.
I'm normally a soft cuddly kinda guy, I don't mind the spanking part, I just don't know what to say to without sounding like a douche

thanks for any help, please go easy

She may have some ideas about what she wants... you should talk with her about this. what she has been fantasizing about.
There are a lot of stories. Some of these will feed your imagination and some are just plain silly - cannot be taken seriously.
You might check the how to thread for "how to" spank your wife... there have been any number of other threads that have addressed this topic.
Avoid hitting flank and lower back areas (kidneys and tender spinal cords can be injured - buttucks and upper thighs are safe areas to start.

And the cuddly guy part can be part of spanking too. OTK (over the knee) spanking can be very intimate experience. And you will want to provide cuddles and care after and during the spanking to increase her pleasure - assuming she is interested in erotic spanking and not just pain spanking. But this is a bold assumption on my part.

You might want to read some stories together. And you do not need a script. The two of you are your own relationship. It needs to make sense within the context of the two of you.

Good luck.
cb

 

[cascadiabound]

perhaps some of this will help.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/90c6ad6c3832b7d907333ac205acd824/tumblr_n9gewqHhg61twwkrmo1_500.png
http://40.media.tumblr.com/4c926df6febc7ab1f5c893e95fc6bdcf/tumblr_n9gewqHhg61twwkrmo2_r1_500.png
http://40.media.tumblr.com/70b2e8daf1f3034d1286164e49fcaef4/tumblr_n9gewqHhg61twwkrmo3_r1_500.png


Impact play is a common kink that’s practiced in D/s dynamics and S&M. It can be a form of punishment, teasing, and funishment. Spanking is the most well-known form of impact play either with hands and brushes. However, other objects can be used depending on the amount of pain or bruising that wants to be inflicted.

Short range vs Long Range:

Short range objects include hand, brush, ruler, belt, paddle, or anything that requires you to stand fairly close to the spankee.

Long range objects include canes, crops, whips, cat o nine tails, and floggers.

Safety:

Practice before engaging in impact play if you’re using long range or hard equipment.
Always have your partner’s consent and a safe word. If you don’t have a safe word, use these colors:
red = stop
yellow = slow down or pause
green = resume the scene
If the spankee is gagged or cannot speak, use a hand signal as safe words.
If you’re using a whip, practice with it before using it on someone. Aiming isn’t as easy as it looks and you could accidentally injure your sub/bottom.
Also keep in mind that whips can break skin!
Never hit the following areas:
Mid back - Your kidneys are located here
Tailbone
Spine
Hips
These areas can be hit but with caution:
Face (only with your hand)
Crotch/genitalia
Inner thighs
Breasts/chest
If you spank someone with a cane or whip and the spankee bleeds, clean your equipment before using it on someone else.

A good thing to remember is that fatty areas work well with harder spankings and objects, while boney areas should not be hit with hard objects (like brushes and paddles) and should be hit moderately and lightly.

Don’t be afraid to attend dungeons and observe how others use their toys and ask questions.

Aftercare:

Aftercare is extremely important. Not only could you have bruises and welts to soothe but you have to treat subdrop also. If you’re not familiar with subdrop or subspace, refer to this post or read on Google.

Having an aftercare kit is a good start. It should include an icepack, wet cloths, bandaids, a blanket, water and Gatorade, pain relievers, and energy food.

Do not leave your sub or bottom alone after a scene. Hold them, hug them, kiss them, cuddle them or anything that lets you know that you love them and soothes them.

If you’re shaking, feeling lightheaded, panicking, or hyperventilating you should lie down and relax. I recommend taking deep breaths where you breathe in from your nose, hold it in, and then exhale until the next breath comes naturally. This is something that I was taught to do for panic attacks. This should help the tremors (shaking) stop, help you calm down, and bring your heart beat and breathing back to normal.

Good luck.
have fun.

cb

 

[amofiga]

If you try to work by a script, then it will all look fake and "playful" rather than what she may want which is a sense of true domination. SO..... I say look into your heart and into the back recesses of your brain to the dank basement of your personality and sexuality. What do you fantasize about? Ever fantasized about kidnapping some woman, tying her up and using her? Be honest with yourself. Are you THAT cuddly that you don't lust after some of the women you see at work and wish you could just drag them off somewhere and have your way with them? Hell, even Woody Allen uses these sorts of things as counterpoint to his usual nebbish characters in movies. Ever want to hit the game winning grand slam in the World Series or run back the punt for the game winning TD in the last 3 seconds of the Super Bowl? Ever want to be like Humphrey Bogart slapping a woman back into her senses? Let that part of you out to play.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Witchybug]

Above all this awesome advice....communicate, communicate, communicate.....Get to know what you both want