Too old to be a sub?

[StateandMain]

Do pro dommes, by and large, place some sort of age limit on subs? Now, don't get me wrong, there DOES come a time when one can certainly be too old to be involved in BDSM. But, I would not think that that time has come for me. Or has it? I am in my early 40's. Am I a young, strapping kid? Well, no, of course not. But, at the same time, I'm not an old man with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel! And if I do say so myself, I look good for my age. I don't look early 40's. In fact, I still get carded if I buy alcohol. Yet, lately it seems that all pro dommes want to session with are young guys. Like 20's young. To be honest, I feel ostracized. And for what? Because I'm no kid?

As much as I hate lying, I could lie to a pro domme and shave a few years off. I could possibly pass for early to mid 30's since I look younger. But, damn, I hate to lie. That's no way to do things. And even if I could pull that off, it seems that even early to mid 30's is too old for most pro dommes these days. Not to mention, the last time I checked, my money is just as green as some 21 year old's. I hate to even bring that up, because it makes me sound high and mighty. Sigh....Maybe I should just accept that I am done and there is nothing I can do about it.

 

[Primalex]

Do pro dommes, by and large, place some sort of age limit on subs?

Yet, lately it seems that all pro dommes want to session with are young guys. Like 20's young. To be honest, I feel ostracized.

What exactly do you want to hear now?

[ ] No, you are not too old. I would play with you. Here is my number.
[ ] Keep trying because, by and large, they don't have an age limit.
[ ] Keep trying because, by and large, they do have an age limit.
[ ] You are not old, they just think you are disgusting.
[ ] Maybe you should stop contacting the women from the TNG list.

 

[MeekMe]

Do pro dommes, by and large, place some sort of age limit on subs?

Maybe some do, maybe some don't. I think it probably depends on how in demand they are. It's a business for them and ultimately they choose what jobs they want to do.
If they were interior designers and they had a choice between working with an easy client with a lower budget or working with a trouble client with a high budget, they'd probably choose the easy client even though it's less money. The fussy clients tend to cause you to eat costs which is bad for business..

Now, don't get me wrong, there DOES come a time when one can certainly be too old to be involved in BDSM.

Not really. There's a happy elderly couple running around FL in their 70s and 90s. They're limited in ways, but they seem to be enjoying themselves.

But, I would not think that that time has come for me. Or has it? I am in my early 40's. Am I a young, strapping kid? Well, no, of course not. But, at the same time, I'm not an old man with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel! And if I do say so myself, I look good for my age. I don't look early 40's. In fact, I still get carded if I buy alcohol. Yet, lately it seems that all pro dommes want to session with are young guys. Like 20's young. To be honest, I feel ostracized. And for what? Because I'm no kid?

Are you giving off the "poor me" vibe? Perhaps you're giving off a vibe that causes them to feel uneasy with you? Also, to cover their asses they card just about everyone buying alcohol regardless of how much gray hair they can see.

As much as I hate lying, I could lie to a pro domme and shave a few years off. I could possibly pass for early to mid 30's since I look younger. But, damn, I hate to lie. That's no way to do things. And even if I could pull that off, it seems that even early to mid 30's is too old for most pro dommes these days. Not to mention, the last time I checked, my money is just as green as some 21 year old's. I hate to even bring that up, because it makes me sound high and mighty. Sigh....Maybe I should just accept that I am done and there is nothing I can do about it.

I dunno what to tell you other than to be a good client. Keep it strictly business, pay appropriately, don't waste their time, don't try to get freebies, and leave when they give you the boot. If you're known as someone that causes trouble, word travels fast and everyone will avoid you. If you're a reliable client, I'm sure there's someone that would be happy to have your business.

 

[StateandMain]

Maybe some do, maybe some don't. I think it probably depends on how in demand they are. It's a business for them and ultimately they choose what jobs they want to do.
If they were interior designers and they had a choice between working with an easy client with a lower budget or working with a trouble client with a high budget, they'd probably choose the easy client even though it's less money. The fussy clients tend to cause you to eat costs which is bad for business..



Not really. There's a happy elderly couple running around FL in their 70s and 90s. They're limited in ways, but they seem to be enjoying themselves.



Are you giving off the "poor me" vibe? Perhaps you're giving off a vibe that causes them to feel uneasy with you? Also, to cover their asses they card just about everyone buying alcohol regardless of how much gray hair they can see.



I dunno what to tell you other than to be a good client. Keep it strictly business, pay appropriately, don't waste their time, don't try to get freebies, and leave when they give you the boot. If you're known as someone that causes trouble, word travels fast and everyone will avoid you. If you're a reliable client, I'm sure there's someone that would be happy to have your business.

Oh, I am not new to this by any means. It's just that I have had quite a few turn me down in the last few years due to my age. I am NOT one to pat myself on the back, but I feel like I always conducted myself well when I sessioned with pro dommes in the past. I NEVER asked for a freebie, and in fact, I would not take a freebie if offered to me. I hate the whole "poor me" thing. I hate even sounding like that. It's more of a case where I'm just trying to get a finger on what it is that I am doing wrong if it isn't my age that is a factor. It could be that I have just come across some pro dommes lately that prefer young guys only. And that is okay. I just wish I could find one that would take me.

 

[StateandMain]

What exactly do you want to hear now?

[ ] No, you are not too old. I would play with you. Here is my number.
[ ] Keep trying because, by and large, they don't have an age limit.
[ ] Keep trying because, by and large, they do have an age limit.
[ ] You are not old, they just think you are disgusting.
[ ] Maybe you should stop contacting the women from the TNG list.

I'm not "disgusting". I'm just not some young dude out of GQ magazine. Even so, based on what I have seen, a dude being disgusting is not a deal breaker. I'm really a kind person. Hell, I maybe I just try too hard. Who knows. Oh well, at least I'll always have the memories of past sessions from back when I was a youngin. At any rate, I'm going to keep trying. I mean, what have I got to lose?

 

[desertslave]

My beloved Master turned 77 yesterday. Don't you DARE tell him he's too old for BDSM, I'm not done with him yet!!!!!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[StateandMain]

My husband and I are still getting carded. 50 and 51.
Means nothing these days I think.
And I plan to practice BDSM until I die.
No age limit.

See, this is what I like to hear. Now, we're talking!!

 

[pensivepoet]

I'm older than you and age has never been an issue between me and pro dommes.
In fact, they feel safer meeting older men.
But how you contact them is important.
Protocol
Do it wrong and they'll use any excuse to say no.
Especially if you're finding them on BP.

 

[BiBunny]

One of my (several) jobs is phone sex operator. It's not my main source of income, but it certainly helps. I'm telling you this because, even though I realize it's not the same thing, I can still give you the perspective of a professional sex worker.

(No, weird lurkers, this is not a invitation to PM. I don't give it away for free, period.)

The services of sex workers are, by and large, purchased by men your age or older. So basically, 40s to whenever their dicks stop being functional. You are, in fact, on the lower end of the age spectrum when it comes to customers. This applies to both phone work and other things. And there are a lot of reasons for it, but the biggest is that older men tend to have more disposable income than younger ones.

Of course, part of the appeal of sex work is that you can (in theory, at least) choose your own customers. If you don't want to work with a particular person or group of people, you don't have to. It will limit your income, though. Everyone has their own personal preferences (and there are men with whom I absolutely will not speak anymore, no matter how much money they're willing to spend because my sanity's got to be worth something, too), but usually, the only people who will seriously limit the number/type of customers they see/talk to are the ones who are already rolling in money and can therefore afford to be as finicky about it as they want.

If someone's not willing to accept your money, keep looking because I assure you that there's someone out there who will. (That's what we're here for, after all.) It just may not necessarily be the hottest, youngest, best-dressed, most popular, or closest to where you live woman. I'm not saying that you have to accept inferior service or anything, just that it might help to make your own standards a bit more flexible if you haven't already and perhaps extend your search to a wider area or something like that.

Also, please don't lie about your age. Always be polite, honest, courteous, and professional in dealing with sex workers. It's greatly appreciated, especially in comparison to a lot of the stuff we get.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

It depends on the Domme and the services that they offer.
Personally, I have delivered CP to a man in his 70's, after first ascertaining his health and his limits. Had he been on warfarin
, I would not have done any impact play. But he was fit and healthy and able to participate in the scene. Age doesn't play a part for most.

Is there anything about your health that would make a Domme reluctant to take you as a client?
Are you requesting services that they simply don't offer?
Is there something in your approach that is raising red flags?
Have you been refused as a time waster or non payer or a grocer?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

What is a 'grocer' please Daisy?

It's a bloke that sells fruit and veg and I hate my autocorrect!

Should have read groper

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[amofiga]

To the OP: Age has little to do with your sexuality or your fantasy or your interest in kink as long as you don't have physical limitations that could cause you or the person you're playing with danger, i.e. heart problems of various sorts, mental illness of various sorts, physical handicaps that limit certain positions or activity. These can and should all be brought to light and discussed and resolved before venturing into any sort of potentially mental or physical stress. If you are a sub and your dom/domme is unaware or neglectful of a condition that could cause heart incident or permanent joint or body injury, then they are greatly irresponsible. Likewise, if you have some deep seated anger issue that could cause you to lash back and seriously harm or kill another, then that could also be a problem. Make responsible choices.

 

[Freya_Gin]

Just adding my 2 cents

It's a bloke that sells fruit and veg and I hate my autocorrect!

Should have read groper

At the moment I'm finding your autocorrect quite entertaining.

To the OP: As others have stated, you are definitely not to old to be a sub. I did a little work as a pro domme years ago and one sub I had a session with was 78. He was the one I had to forcefully make understand that sex wasn't part of the deal! The youngest sub I had was 36 and that was by phone. The (few) others were in their late 40s and 50s. If I were to take a sub now--as a pro or not--age wouldn't be much of a factor for me, though his health could be an issue with regard to certain types of play.

I don't know why a pro domme would turn you down for being in your 40s. You didn't specify how many had refused you for that reason. If it's just one then that's quite possibly just her preference, especially if she's doing well enough that another client isn't worth the bite into her personal time. Regardless, as others have mentioned, it could be an excuse. On the other hand, I don't know why she would need an excuse; I would be bluntly honest about it if there was something you were doing that rubbed me the wrong way.

(Edit: Typos)

 

[Tpal]

Come on...you can never be too old to be a sub

 

[StateandMain]

Thank you all so much for the replies. I have been doing some more searching and have been told by the most recent dommes I have been communicating with that age is definitely not an issue. So, I feel better now. Perhaps I had just come across a few who had age preferences. One of them told me "you know, my website clearly states that I only session with guys ages 21-29". I must say, it is difficult to imagine that this one domme is doing really well and her clients are only young guys. That would mean that there are scores of young guys who are not only submissives, but also have quite a bit of disposable income. It just seems a little far fetched. But, at any rate, it looks like I will be sessioning fairly soon. Wish me luck!

 

[Primalex]

One of them told me "you know, my website clearly states that I only session with guys ages 21-29". I must say, it is difficult to imagine that this one domme is doing really well and her clients are only young guys. That would mean that there are scores of young guys who are not only submissives, but also have quite a bit of disposable income. It just seems a little far fetched.

You obviously have a problem with sex workers picking their customers. You should get professional help for this.

 

[StateandMain]

You obviously have a problem with sex workers picking their customers. You should get professional help for this.

You know, I don't give a damn if I get banned for this because this place fucking sucks anyway. Fuck you!! Fuck you and the white horse you rode in on motherfucker!! You sit here and say shit to people that you know good and damn well you would NEVER say in person. And do you know why? It's because you are a fucking coward!! That's right, you are a cock sucking motherfucking little bitch ass coward!! I hope you get cancer you piece of shit!! I hope it's the WORST fucking kind too! People like you deserve it, and I often question what type of God we must have if he/she/it created some miserable cock sucking motherfucking asshole licking piece of shit like you!! You miserable fucking prick!! Fuck YOU!! Eat a bag of gasoline soacked dicks and then swallow a match!! Yeah, I said all that shit, and I'm going to fucking say some more, and that is whether the friends you have here like it or not!! Tell them to come the fuck on, because I ain't afraid of you nor any motherfucking "mod" on this piece of shit board either!!

Fuck you and FUCK THEM TOO! Yeah, I FUCKING said it!! Fuck literotica, what the fuck kind of stupid ass fucking name is that shit anyway? You all are the ones with something wrong with you. I am fucked up, sure, but, hell I am damn near fucking normal compared to the fuck heads on here who have "called me out", LOL. To those of you who were nice to me on here, I thank you. Please understand that NONE of this is directed at you, but instead at Primalex and his buddies. Fuck all of them, fuck this toilet of a board, fuck the stupid shit that goes on here, it's a fucking trap and a fucking lie is what it is. "Safe" place my ass! What a low down way to do somebody. Make people feel like they can discuss things that they can't discuss anywhere else and just when they feel comfortable, BAM some assholes show up and start fucking with them. I hope this fucking board goes the fuck away!! Well, I'll be banned now, so it's been fun. Well, no that's a fucking lie, it hasn't!! It's been horrible. Fucking horrible from day fucking one. And do you know what? There are other boards out there. I can't wait to go to one of them and tell of the AWFUL experiences I had here and I will wear my banning from this fucking shit hole like a badge of honor!! Well, that is after I get past the mourning period. I'll shed a few tears. I mean, me and this forum had been together for so long! 2 whole weeks!! I have taken screen shots of the PMs I got as well as Primalex's harrassment so when I arrive at the next board, people will see what a terrible place this really is. Ya'll be sure and read this post quick, because once Primalex goes crying to the principal, it will be deleted and then I'll be banned! So, you all enjoy this shit hole, because one way or the fucking other, I am done. Peace the fuck out.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

This seems like an appropriate response.

 

[StateandMain]

This seems like a reasonable response.

LMAO, oh this is funny. A high and mighty mod has come down from the mountain!! I'd call your board a piece of shit, but that would be giving it too much credit. As for my "reasonable response", well that motherfucker primalex was harrassing me. Can't let that shit slide. But, that's how it is around here. Ya'll like to fuck with people, but then when you push somebody too far and they lay into you with both fucking barrels, you wanna cry foul! How long did it take primalex to come running to you Mr. super mod? This shit is too fucking funny. It's entertaing, to be honest, because it's all such a fucking joke.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

LMAO, oh this is funny. A high and mighty mod has come down from the mountain!! I'd call your board a piece of shit, but that would be giving it too much credit. As for my "reasonable response", well that motherfucker primalex was harrassing me. Can't let that shit slide. But, that's how is around here. Ya'll like to fuck with people, but then when you push somebody too far amd they lay into you with both fucking barrels, you wanna cry foul! How long did it take primalex to come running to you Mr. super mod? This shit is too fucking funny.

You know, you received some very reasonable answers in this thread, support from many Litsters. I'm sure you received PMs you didn't like, as you stated. Trust me, many of us, especially women, receive horrible and unsolicited PMs frequently. There are threads devoted to the topic.

Primalex did not contact me. I just saw your rant and responded.

 

[StateandMain]

You know, you received some very reasonable answers in this thread, support from many Litsters. I'm sure you received PMs you didn't like, as you stated. Trust me, many of us, especially women, receive horrible and unsolicited PMs frequently. There are threads devoted to the topic.

Primalex did not contact me. I just saw your rant and responded.

Then, what the fuck kind of place is this if horrible and unsolicited PMs are a regular thing? Because I'm not down with that shit. This board is NOTHING but the wild wild west. So, ya'll enjoy it. Honestly, you should be ashamed to be a mod here.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Then, what the fuck kind of place is this if horrible and unsolicited PMs are a regular thing? Because I'm not down with that shit.

It's a forum within an erotic site, not advertised as a "safe place." You can control your experience here by putting people you dislike on ignore, by not allowing private messages or establishing a buddy list and only accepting private messages from them. You can control what you say, what you see and click on, but not what other people say.

I quoted your rant. Do you realize how easy that was? If you delete your post now, my quoted response would stay even though you deleted yours. I only did that to show you, and I will go delete my quote now. Posting an emotional response as you did is advertising how easily one's buttons are pushed, you know? It gives the button-pushers easy access to the buttons.