Would you cheat on your husband/wife/significant other

[Anuml2017]

Some years ago there was an article iin Newsweek magazine that said that inherently humans are not wired to stay faithful to their spouses, based on research they had conducted. So I thought it may be interesting to find out what people generally thought. So the questions posted are to get some non-scientific feedback from regular people.

So on the question if you have cheated I mean if you have had sexual contact. No cop out like Bill Clinton. A deep sexual erotic kiss, for purpses of this poll, is sexual contact, if the intent was there to have sex. Making out while intoxicated also counts as sexual contact.

Be honest folks!

 

[yossi]

I haven't cheated on someone I've been involved with and plan to continue that in future relationships. I won't say 'never' because that's just asking for it to come back and bite me in the ass.

 

[mikendel]

Maybe add on more option.

"I can have sex with who I want and hubby knows" So approved cheating?

 

[Anuml2017]

Maybe add on more option.

"I can have sex with who I want and hubby knows" So approved cheating?

I considered that, but decided against it. I really wanted to know if people want to cheat, irrespective if their significant other approved it or not.

 

[Anuml2017]

I haven't cheated on someone I've been involved with and plan to continue that in future relationships. I won't say 'never' because that's just asking for it to come back and bite me in the ass.

So how any relationships have you had, if you don't mind me asking.

 

[ReadingExcitesMe]

I absolutely would.

 

[Rachel_X]

Cheating is something only gutter trash does.

 

[ReadingExcitesMe]

Cheating is something only gutter trash does.

Lol welp.

 

[mikendel]

I considered that, but decided against it. I really wanted to know if people want to cheat, irrespective if their significant other approved it or not.

Understand. Hmmmmm. I would have to say no then. Men cheat on their wives with me. Great thread.

 

[MarkoAaron]

Never cheated on any of my girlfriends, truth be told I never had the chance.
I had a one time fling with a co worker of mine, once.

After a few months of flirting, I finally got blunt and asked her if she wanted to "fool around" after work one night.
She told me her husband wouldn't let her have intercourse with other men, but blowjobs were OK.

I was surprised to hear that. Before we left the store after closing (she was the manager and it was just us) she made good on her word. She gave me a great blowjob and then we left.

A few days later, I was working with her and her husband came in and walked to me.
He casually approached me and asked how his wife's blowjob was.

I was almost afraid to speak or admit that it happened. I asked in a low voice "she told you?"
he laughed and said yeah. I told him it was great, and I really enjoyed it.

He said he would like to watch, sometime. I never got the chance to do it, but I wish I could have.

 

[Clem99]

Never would I cheat. But, we are both open to each other playing with others (with full disclosure) so I would - and have - taken advantage.

 

[HoldYouDown]

Would sooner break up. I hate lying, takes too much effort and you end up in your own cage of deceit, afraid of being caught.

 

[wildp]

We have talked about inviting another woman because my wife said she would like to try licking pussy. She said I could play with the other woman but not fuck her.

 

[yossi]

Would sooner break up. I hate lying, takes too much effort and you end up in your own cage of deceit, afraid of being caught.

Right? It'd a lot of effort for little reward. I'd rather be in an open relationship.

 

[Hypoxia]

Depends on how it's defined -- see What is Cheating?

Have I 'cheated' on my current partner? No. Would I? Probably not.

Have I cheated on previous partners? No; we knew we weren't exclusive.

Are humans wired for exclusivity? I don't think so; we like fucking around, hey?

 

[HoldYouDown]

Depends on how it's defined

Telling someone you're romantically exclusive, then betraying that exclusivity.

 

[Hypoxia]

Telling someone you're romantically exclusive, then betraying that exclusivity.

Did you read What Is Cheating?

 

[policywank]

I cheated once and confessed to my husband almost right away. That was the only time and I intend for it to stay that way.

However, these days our relationship is not exclusive and that is an explicitly understood aspect of our relationship. So I do not consider sex with other men to be cheating as I am not betraying a trust. Some people see that as splitting hairs, but I don't agree. Being deceitful doesn't have anything to do with having sex. I have sex with other men. I don't deceive my husband.

 

[Anuml2017]

The intent of the poll was to determine if having sex exclusively with one person is something we as humans are wired to do. I probably misused the word "cheating", which is why this discussion gets more focused on cheating rather than the aspect of having multiple partners, with or without approval of the other partner.

However I do see that the Newsweek study was correct inasmuch that most people are into having sexual relations with more than one person even after marriage.

 

[Anuml2017]

50% and counting.....

 

[ChattyAnnie]

So here is what I don't understand...
30% of the men say they have never cheated on their wives and never would
Less than 4% of women say they have never cheated on their husband's and never would.

Doesn't that sound backwards? Not that I'm one to judge...I'm a cheater.

 

[Seamus44]

............

 

[newcouple1128]

Would never cheat on my wife. We would like to bring other people into the bed room together but I wouldn't consider that cheating considering she would be there to witness it and would get enjoyment out of it as well.

 

[Hans101]

No.

I've had opportunities. Not interested.

 

[policywank]

So here is what I don't understand...
30% of the men say they have never cheated on their wives and never would
Less than 4% of women say they have never cheated on their husband's and never would.

Doesn't that sound backwards? Not that I'm one to judge...I'm a cheater.

Well actually 4% of total respondents (not 4% of female respondents) were women who said they would never cheat on their husband. Likewise the 30% who said they were men that would never cheat was as a % of the total not as a % of men. Since male respondents outnumber female by 2 to 1 there is a distortion when using % of the total.

Having made that pedantic point your overall premise is still valid - the % of men who say they wouldn't cheat is higher than women. This sample is hardly an accurate cross-section of society but the result is still interesting.

I would make two observations.

Firstly, our perceptions about sexuality are heavily influenced by the sexism and double standard with which we are all familiar. Our perceptions and assumptions about this sensitive topic are driven by the intentional distortions and dogma that has been shoved down our throats rather than an unfettered sample of actual experiences. Maybe women just really are more open to the idea of cheating but have been intimidated into denying it.

Secondly, the roles we play in society do drive a different point of view. For guys it is generally regarded that there is no excuse for cheating, but it is a bit more opaque for women. When a woman isn't satisfying her man's needs we tend to assume it is a matter of "won't" - a solvable situation with more romance and less selfishness on his part. If he cheats instead he just isn't being a good husband. Whereas when a man isn't satisfying his wife's need we tend to assume "can't" - he just isn't man enough so she has no choice but to go elsewhere. Also historically when a couple broke up the woman faced potential very harsh consequences compared to a man. So whereas a man has no excuse for stringing someone along in a relationship on a false premise a woman may be viewed as having no other choice.

My second point is pure hypothesis and bullshit. However, I have anecdotally noticed a difference between men and women on this point. "You go girl, your deserve it" is in my experience an attitude almost exclusive to women. Guys may turn a blind eye or even congratulate the cheater on getting away with it. But they don't indulge in the premise that his actions are justified. Guys accept bad behaviour from their friends but they don't validate it the way women do.

So is it possible that fewer women will absolutely preclude the possibility of cheating because we see it as more of a grey area whereas men see it as more unequivocally wrong? Again pure conjecture but I see guys as more willing to do something that they clearly see as wrong whereas women are more willing to convince ourselves into believing something isn't wrong so that we can do it.