What stops you from "cheating" on your s.o. ?

[muffinhog]

"Cheating" for the purpose of this discussion is having deliberate physical sexual contact with someone other than your spouse/so. That someone could be a friend, a work colleague, your favourite gym buddy; a prostitute etc.

Are you in a stable relationship but have this yearning to "cheat" for whatever reason (assuming you haven't done so yet)?
If so, what is stopping you from "doing the deed"?
Would it be a definite divorce if found out; your wedding vows; fear that God will strike you dead; you won't be able to live with the guilt; the fear and shame of being caught out; he/she might be a 'bunny boiler'?

Please let us know what specifically stops you from satisfying your desire to stray.

 

[mouthful6]

There are all the usual reasons, and even though it doesn't happen as much as I'd like...

My wife's hot & knows how to fuck. Gives a great blowjob, too.

 

[Not Normal]

I'm not a shitty partner.

 

[pumpkindice]

In order to cheat on one's significant other, one must first have a significant other to cheat on. I've never had one, so it's impossible for me to cheat on someone who has never existed.

 

[Champakian]

A1: Common sense

A2: Common decency

A3: I'm not Jada

 

[Dribble]

Having experienced the ramifications of someone cheating on you...I could never knowingly cause that kind of hurt to another. For me, the risk of being caught is not worth the momentary pleasure.

 

[Champakian]

My first wife cheated.
It was more relief than hurt.
I called him up and told him.
If you want her that badly,
come and get her. He did.
She left him for a woman.
Actresses are just nuts...

 

[Zeb_Carter]

The usual stuff. Marriage vows come first, then the love I felt for her and not wanting to do something like that to her.

 

[L1511p]

LOL, nothing, my wife and i are polyamorous, a lifestyle i endorse wholeheartedly

 

[Rotadom]

LOL, nothing, my wife and i are polyamorous, a lifestyle i endorse wholeheartedly

That's so cool! I'd love to be a dinosaur!

 

[yorker85]

I'm divorced because my wife fell in love with another man. She told me she never slept with him but she didn't understand the emotional betrayal was worse than any physical betrayal.

I didn't cheat on her because when I about to get married a friend said "That's such a huge commitment to make to another person". I explained, I was making the commitment to myself. I would stick by this person, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, through the good and the bad. It would have been cheating on myself first and foremost, and then her. People don't seem to get that.

 

[oneblueye]

"Cheating" for the purpose of this discussion is having deliberate physical sexual contact with someone other than your spouse/so. That someone could be a friend, a work colleague, your favourite gym buddy; a prostitute etc.

Are you in a stable relationship but have this yearning to "cheat" for whatever reason (assuming you haven't done so yet)?
If so, what is stopping you from "doing the deed"?
Would it be a definite divorce if found out; your wedding vows; fear that God will strike you dead; you won't be able to live with the guilt; the fear and shame of being caught out; he/she might be a 'bunny boiler'?

Please let us know what specifically stops you from satisfying your desire to stray.

I am all that stands between me and the act of infidelity.
I talk myself into or out of whatever trouble I am wont to get into.
If my urges regardless of what they are,
ever get to the point where---, I am or could be a physical danger to people and my sexual needs are not being met,
I will 'step out'.

 

[stickygirl]

Because he's the most attractive, sexy and intelligent man I know

 

[Sean]

Because I'm not a cunt.

 

[Erosfan]

I loved my late wife with every fiber of my being. There is no way I could do something like this. She was a beautiful lady and every man's dream with all things sex, in and out of the bedroom! No way in the world would I betray our love and trust in each other.

 

[Escierto]

Love. Even if she cheated on me I could never cheat on her. I am attached to her forever.

 

[Akinkymind]

I'm divorced because my wife fell in love with another man. She told me she never slept with him but she didn't understand the emotional betrayal was worse than any physical betrayal.

I didn't cheat on her because when I about to get married a friend said "That's such a huge commitment to make to another person". I explained, I was making the commitment to myself. I would stick by this person, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, through the good and the bad. It would have been cheating on myself first and foremost, and then her. People don't seem to get that.

Bingo! It has as much about being true to myself, and being able to look in the mirror and have love and respect for the face staring back. I was cheated on once long ago, and it was crushing to me at the time but I am at complete peace with it all now. I don’t hold any malice, and I even understand the circumstances behind it; but she still feels pangs of guilt and regret to this day.

 

[Manny39]

"Cheating" for the purpose of this discussion is having deliberate physical sexual contact with someone other than your spouse/so. That someone could be a friend, a work colleague, your favourite gym buddy; a prostitute etc.

Are you in a stable relationship but have this yearning to "cheat" for whatever reason (assuming you haven't done so yet)?
If so, what is stopping you from "doing the deed"?
Would it be a definite divorce if found out; your wedding vows; fear that God will strike you dead; you won't be able to live with the guilt; the fear and shame of being caught out; he/she might be a 'bunny boiler'?

Please let us know what specifically stops you from satisfying your desire to stray.

In my marriage my wife and we had fantastic sex before our child reached 10 and stopped sleeping well. As a result for the last 4 years we've had sex a dozen times, maybe. She is afraid of our daughter hearing so she doesn't want to try any type of sex. It doesn't help that as I warm up in sex I have in the past gotten loud. She doesn't want to go to a hotel. We will take a romantic weekend every summer to go out of town while our child is at camp or the grandparents but that has been rare and she usually wants to have sex once and she's good for a year.

When I was 40 I went through a low testosterone phase and with that came a diminished libido. With medication and changes in diet my libido ended up swinging the other direction and until 52 we were like teenagers. So I'm constantly horny.

What keeps me from cheating? Well based on the definition given above I have been sorely tempted and I've had a few close calls where I never showed.

Basically I have masturbated a lot, watched a lot of porn, and had cyber sex. On three three occasions I jacked off with two other guys from the gym watching gay porn but I never engaged in physical contact, even when the other two did in front of me. For a while it was exciting and made me blow huge loads, but I ended up breaking off from those guys when they delivered the ultimatum to join in or leave.

When I found Literotica I started reading and listening to the great stories everyone writes and that helps tremendously.

Also I love my wife and my daughter and fear that I would loose their respect and never see them again if I did cheat and get caught. At my level of horniness I'm afraid I would become dependent on someone if I cheated which would increase the chances of getting caught and the other person getting attached to me.

My wife has suggested I stop taking the medication and I'm considering it.

 

[girlsmiley]

The fear of death

 

[screwher]

My wife cheated on me years ago. Fortunately we got past it and moved on together. But I was crushed. I know if I was to cheated she’d be hurt ten times worse than I was. I couldn’t do that to her.

 

[MrRandyWatson]

First and foremost, I don’t want to hurt her. I never want to be the reason someone is hurting.

I also know that, in the relationship I’m pursuing, if I wanted to play around (or see her do the same) we can talk about it. It takes a lot of trust and patience, but being able to play outside the relationship above board is much better than cheating.

 

[Btq97]

Being single.

 

[RachelWalsh]

Just pure crippling guilt

 

[xxyyxx]

1 I adore my missus
2 We have kids and if you cheat on your SO when you have kids you are cheating on them too.
3 I wouldn't want to be one of those sad dudes you see at McDonalds of a week end when they get their access to their kids.
4 My dad cheated on my mum, she couldn't cope and that was the day my childhood ended.
5 There isnt a woman alive hot enough to make me risk doing the same thing to my kids.
6 er.....thats it.

 

[xxyyxx]

Having said what I have in the post above I can see sense in what Bill Burr says about people looking down on celebrities like Tiger Woods that stray. It is easy to stay loyal to your wife when you work in home Depot. Women aren't interested in lumber. Meanwhile Tiger Woods comes of the 18th green and there is a bus load of Swedish models wanting to bang the ass off him. Its the same for many married sportsmen and celebs everywhere they go.