Feedback Request - Hematoma

[Asbel]

I have been working on this story for over three years, and in the past year and a half, I've become prolific enough to push my story, Hematoma, into its now fourteenth chapter.

I've been concerned lately about my story, its reception, and my plans for its future. I have it planned out all the way to its end, but I don't know if that ending will go over well with readers, and since I can't tell anyone what the ending is, I have no idea.

I guess I'm rambling. In this thread, I hope to get some feedback for this story from outside my reader base, and possibly one or more people willing to hear the ending and tell me how it will go over.



Second, I've been seeing something about "abuse of character" being forbidden on Literotica, but I can't seem to find a page where that's explained. Could someone spell it out?

 

[Asbel]

The story can be found here:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=2084583&page=submissions

Please keep in mind it contains male homosexuality, pain play, blood, vampirism, piercing, tattooing, and some choking.

 

[PervOtaku]

There are advantages to having the entire story written out before publishing any of it, but you do have to maintain confidence in the story without the benefit of feedback, yes. Although that's no different than pro-authors in the mainstream publishing world.

I don't know about "abuse of character", the rule as commonly explained (I don't have a link to the original mention of this handy) is no snuff-level violence where death or extreme injury is portrayed as a sexual kink, and characters who are victims of non-consent (e.g. rape) need to at some point come to view it as pleasurable. I think that's just a way of saying no rape trauma as a sexual kink, so overall no portrayal of permanently fucking up a woman physically or mentally as something people ought to get off with.

 

[EquinoxRising]

Second, I've been seeing something about "abuse of character" being forbidden on Literotica, but I can't seem to find a page where that's explained. Could someone spell it out?

From Laurel herself:

These things are tricky. I tend to be more lenient when a scene is in the service of a plot. Movies often have horrific scenes where a man's family is killed in front of him, but it's done so to horrify the viewer and to show character motivation (revenge). This is different from scenes which are put there for no other reason than with the expectation that the reader will be thrilled to watch another human being suffer/be disfigured/be killed.

It's very hard to get these things right when you have 100-200 stories to get through a day. I'll admit mistakes are made. I basically try to get a feel for the story and go from there. More literary/plot-driven stuff will get a pass. Death and disfigurement written for a sexual thrill will not.

As far as sexualized violence for non-plot-motivation reasons goes - some women (and men) enjoy reading about rough, sometimes even degrading sex. My guideline generally is that if I feel a reader with that kink could enjoy placing themselves as the recipient of the sexual roughness, then it's postable. If it's a fantasy written as an aggressor-fantasy with no regard for the recipient, then I may send it back to the author, who can then send it back to me with reasons why I'm wrong - and they're sometimes right.

Things that are never okay: graphic and explicit castration, mutilation, and murder for the purposes of sexual titillation.

If you read something on the site that feels squicky to you, please do report it using the REPORT THIS STORY feature. And please be specific. If it's a 20-page story and you report it with, "Snuff!" or "Too rough!" but don't say where or why, it will take longer for me to check.

 

[Asbel]

Thank you very much for the post from Laurel. Hematoma definitely doesn't fall into that category, it's entirely plot-driven. So I guess we're all good.

That being said, I'm still worried that the ending of my story will completely ruin whatever readers are looking for in it.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Whose story is it? Yours, or your readers?

This is a common discussion on AH, and there is no simple answer. It depends on you the writer. Some folk are hugely concerned about their story scores, reader numbers, the stats, and might go out of their way to keep their readers happy. Some would say they pander to their readers. Others don't care so much, and say it's my story, I'll write what I want. And of course, the entire spectrum in between.

I read your first couple of chapters, scanned the rest (that's not a criticism, just wasn't pushing my buttons), and noted a reasonable investment in the story from a number of readers early on, narrowing down to a few hard core fans who will probably follow you to hell and back. I didn't note the reader numbers, but now that you are 12 or so chapters in, those that are sticking with you will want to see how it ends, for good or for bad.

It's clearly a labour of love for you (three years, you say?) so on that basis, I'd say finish it how YOU want to finish it, don't be influenced by your readers. Some of the story is pretty intense and seems personal, but I don't know how much you are exploring your own psyche vs running a pure fantasy. You know the answer to that question - but if it is very personal, don't let yourself down just to keep your fans happy.

If reader reaction is vitally important to you, you can always write another story....

 

[Asbel]

Thank you for that.

I can say I'm not really exploring my own psyche - I'm not a masochist and view pain as punishment, not pleasure. It's purely a fantasy. All of my story ideas run on a "What if?" basis.

It's true, I can write something else that DOES pander to fans. But I had a clear idea of what I wanted to accomplish with this story, and that end goal is incredibly important, not just to me but to, in my opinion, readers.

Lately, however, I've been worried because I want to publish it one day. Yeah, I know. Good fucking luck.

Anyway, thank you for the input. It means a lot. You're right, I'm just going to go for it.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Looking closely at the words you chose to use - "not really exploring" and "pain as a punishment" - suggests ever so lightly (or not so lightly?) some emotional investment in the idea of pain.

You've given pain a moral value, and three years is a long time to work up a mere fantasy. If one believes your profiles, you're not some ancient person looking back on a long life - you're closer to your angst ridden teens than you are to your mid life crisis and very possibly, this writing is more vital than you're letting on. But you already know that, I suspect.

You say your end goal is "incredibly important" to you, so all the more reason to not compromise it now. As someone once wrote (the Duke of Wellington, according to wiki) "publish and be damned." You'll probably feel better after the catharsis. Until the next time...

Thank you for that.

I can say I'm not really exploring my own psyche - I'm not a masochist and view pain as punishment, not pleasure. It's purely a fantasy.

 

[Asbel]

An interesting view on it. I am definitely invested in Hematoma, but I don't believe it's teenage angst or even my own ideals on pain. To put it quite simply without giving anything away, I'm trying to repaint the typical "dream man" that books like Twilight and Fifty Shades have conjured, as the monster he truly is.

That and we just don't have enough gay vampire stories... Or any books that do sadomasochism justice outside of Story of O and the Sleeping Beauty trilogy.