The rules have apparently changed...

[warrior queen]

Last night, I went out on a date for the first time in a while. An initial meetup, after exchanging ph no's and chatting for a couple of weeks.
Everything was going fine, till the time came for me to go....
Then he got all pissed off because I wasn't going back to his place!

When did it become "Hey, I made the effort to come out with you.... Now you owe me sex!"???

I paid for my own meal and drinks, he paid for his. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought that signalled that this was a platonic date - a get to meet you properly first thing.

I don't jump into bed with people..... I need some kind of connection and friendship first.

*sigh*

 

[pink]

That is fucked up. You need to swing to the other side, women don't do that sort of thing. We just move in together after the first date.

 

[warrior queen]

That is fucked up. You need to swing to the other side, women don't do that sort of thing. We just move in together after the first date.

I tried the woman thing, many years ago.
Worst. Relationship. Ever.

Fun to play with, but not good as permanent.
For me, anyway

 

[pink]

I tried the woman thing, many years ago.
Worst. Relationship. Ever.

Fun to play with, but not good as permanent.
For me, anyway

My last gf, funniest woman ever. She made me laugh so much. Part of me is still in love with her and it's been well over 10 years. Oh how I wish things had been different.

 

[Noor]

He didn't even attempt to buy you and still expected sex? Wow!

I usually tell guys up front that I don't do casual sex or light and fluffy relationships. I may not have traditional relationships, but whatever they are it's serious and intense

 

[ChattyAnnie]

Last night, I went out on a date for the first time in a while. An initial meetup, after exchanging ph no's and chatting for a couple of weeks.
Everything was going fine, till the time came for me to go....
Then he got all pissed off because I wasn't going back to his place!

When did it become "Hey, I made the effort to come out with you.... Now you owe me sex!"???

I paid for my own meal and drinks, he paid for his. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought that signalled that this was a platonic date - a get to meet you properly first thing.

I don't jump into bed with people..... I need some kind of connection and friendship first.

*sigh*

I probably would have gone back to his place. Does that make me a slut?

 

[warrior queen]

He didn't even attempt to buy you and still expected sex? Wow!

I usually tell guys up front that I don't do casual sex or light and fluffy relationships. I may not have traditional relationships, but whatever they are it's serious and intense

I did tell him that, early in the evening.
Either he forgot or thought he could sway me...
Regardless, his actions at the end of the date far outweigh all the niceties that came before.
One date is all he gets.

 

[Oh_That_Guy]

That doesn't sound like he thinks it's a rule, more like he's just a jerk. Expecting sex at any time is wrong but expecting it on the first date unless you're a hooker is worse.

 

[Noor]

I probably would have gone back to his place. Does that make me a slut?

Maybe just not as discriminating... NTTIAWWT

 

[warrior queen]

I probably would have gone back to his place. Does that make me a slut?

Each to their own.
I'm just not built that way

 

[warrior queen]

That doesn't sound like he thinks it's a rule, more like he's just a jerk. Expecting sex at any time is wrong but expecting it on the first date unless you're a hooker is worse.

Seems to be that way a lot these days.
Just about everyone I know says they would have....
Like I said - I'm a little old-fashioned.

 

[bronzeage]

Last night, I went out on a date for the first time in a while. An initial meetup, after exchanging ph no's and chatting for a couple of weeks.
Everything was going fine, till the time came for me to go....
Then he got all pissed off because I wasn't going back to his place!

When did it become "Hey, I made the effort to come out with you.... Now you owe me sex!"???

I paid for my own meal and drinks, he paid for his. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought that signalled that this was a platonic date - a get to meet you properly first thing.

I don't jump into bed with people..... I need some kind of connection and friendship first.

*sigh*

The rules changed after our 35th birthday. The dutch treat should have been his signal, but he's Australian, so it's no surprise he missed it.

The basic rule(35 and up) is, don't go out with a man you wouldn't fuck.

 

[Oh_That_Guy]

Seems to be that way a lot these days.
Just about everyone I know says they would have....
Like I said - I'm a little old-fashioned.

Some people don't care about sex, it's nothing to screw someone on a first date or no date at all. Others have self esteem.

 

[Noor]

There are a lot of old fashion guys out there or guys who get old fashioned when they are seriously looking.

I hate the expression "Do you want to hang out?" because it has so many meanings.

I don't drink so I have no interested in going to bars. If I like the music I want to actually hear it. I am nearly impossible to take out to dinner. It's hard for me to listen over all the noise at a restaurant or club

I like trains and boats, I like plays, movies, museums, parks, places I feel comfortable like parties where I know people.
I also like steam punk events and cons, but that is really usually no place to spend time with someone.

I am an introvert and an aspie so having sex with strangers is so not happening. Not to mention probably being allergic to them

 

[Noor]

The rules changed after our 35th birthday. The dutch treat should have been his signal, but he's Australian, so it's no surprise he missed it.

The basic rule(35 and up) is, don't go out with a man you wouldn't fuck.

Does that replace the rule to don't fuck a guy who you wouldn't want to be a father of your child?

 

[warrior queen]

The rules changed after our 35th birthday. The dutch treat should have been his signal, but he's Australian, so it's no surprise he missed it.

The basic rule(35 and up) is, don't go out with a man you wouldn't fuck.

Well....that's a stupid rule.
I want friendship first...

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Last night, I went out on a date for the first time in a while. An initial meetup, after exchanging ph no's and chatting for a couple of weeks.
Everything was going fine, till the time came for me to go....
Then he got all pissed off because I wasn't going back to his place!

When did it become "Hey, I made the effort to come out with you.... Now you owe me sex!"???

I paid for my own meal and drinks, he paid for his. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought that signalled that this was a platonic date - a get to meet you properly first thing.

I don't jump into bed with people..... I need some kind of connection and friendship first.

*sigh*

I hear this same story so often, I can't NOT believe every word of it.

I get trying to get in your pants. I'm a guy. I probably would have tried the same thing. Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't. Even if you had already told me different earlier.

What I DON'T get is getting all pissed off just because you stuck to your position that you had already declared. In fact, there was no reason to get pissed off even if you hadn't already declared it. Not only do you NOT owe anybody sex, you don't owe them an explanation.

Being a guy, I like to think I understand guys pretty well. But I've never understood this. What? You don't have a social obligation to be gracious and polite just because you're horny?

Jeeezzzus.

 

[Noor]

Some guys think their junk is god's gift to women and get upset when the women around them don't share that opinion.
The other thing is where they should no signs of anything that might make them interesting in bed. No creativity, no playfulness, no sparkle, nothing that makes them stand out from the tablecloth

 

[bronzeage]

Does that replace the rule to don't fuck a guy who you wouldn't want to be a father of your child?

Actually it does, although that rule was more for the benefit of young women, whose child bearing days were still ahead of them.

 

[warrior queen]

I hear this same story so often, I can't NOT believe every word of it.

I get trying to get in your pants. I'm a guy. I probably would have tried the same thing. Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't. Even if you had already told me different earlier.

What I DON'T get is getting all pissed off just because you stuck to your position that you had already declared. In fact, there was no reason to get pissed off even if you hadn't already declared it. Not only do you NOT owe anybody sex, you don't owe them an explanation.

Being a guy, I like to think I understand guys pretty well. But I've never understood this. What? You don't have a social obligation to be gracious and polite just because you're horny?

Jeeezzzus.

He didn't even really say goodnight.... just dropped me off, and yelled out 'Seeya!' as he raced away.
I never saw this coming. Before that the conversation and laughs flowed easy, he chewed with his mouth closed (a major plus!), and he seemed genuine.

 

[bronzeage]

Well....that's a stupid rule.
I want friendship first...

When I was a bachelor, I was attracted to women who had good judgment and didn't need a lot of time to make up her mind. Sex with me on a first date was a good way to demonstrate that.

I always had plenty of women friends, so a first date was with someone who had known me for a year or more. She might have known me since grade school. We were past the "getting to know you stage."

 

[warrior queen]

When I was a bachelor, I was attracted to women who had good judgment and didn't need a lot of time to make up her mind. Sex with me on a first date was a good way to demonstrate that.

I always had plenty of women friends, so a first date was with someone who had known me for a year or more. She might have known me since grade school. We were past the "getting to know you stage."

In that case, I understand.
But not this date.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Maybe he's just really into bald women that look like dudes. I mean, they don't come around all that often.

 

[bg23]

Maybe he's just really into bald women that look like dudes. I mean, they don't come around all that often.

You are a rare bunch.

 

[warrior queen]

It probably doesn't help that I have bigger balls than most of the men I meet!