Brain Farts.

[NOIRTRASH]

I started a file to fill with solutions to particular writing problems I have. I did this after I fell over one such solution while reading a book by Robert Crais. My problem involved directions. I couldn't fathom how to write directions in a story. What I did seemed awkward and inelegant. Like...BOSCO TURNED INTO AN ALLEY. Crais writes, TWO BLOCKS SOUTH OF MLKING BOSCO TOOK A RIGHT DOWN AN ALLEY BETWEEN A BLOCK OF OLD WAREHOUSES.

 

[Handley_Page]

So how would you tell a driver asking for directions to a certain place?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So how would you tell a driver asking for directions to a certain place?

Well there are two ways...the city way, which is just a version of what James gave us:

GO TWO BLOCKS SOUTH OF MLKING TURN RIGHT DOWN AN ALLEY BETWEEN A BLOCK OF OLD WAREHOUSES. FIND NUMBER 150 AND KNOCK ON THE HEAVY METAL DOOR.

...or the country way:

Keep on this road here until you get to the Jones' barn. Turn right on the dirt road, now don't mistake the gravel road for your turn, take the dirt road. Follow that road until you see the church steeple. Go past the cemetery and then turn left on to the two lane. Follow that right into town and you are there.

Throw in a heavy southern accent and you have it.

 

[The_reluctant_wordsmith]

Two questions, well one that's relevant.

First of all I'm writing my first story and I'm wondering how many word pages translate to lit pages

Second of all what's the best way to write conversations, for instance:

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed "hey man you need no milk" Mike frowned and got defensive "dude I just want some breakfast man" "Then have some eggs ya egg"

or

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed "hey man you need no milk"

Mike frowned and got defensive "dude I just want some breakfast man"

"Then have some eggs ya egg"

Thank you, love you all, love your work

 

[SamScribble]

Well there are two ways...the city way, which is just a version of what James gave us:

GO TWO BLOCKS SOUTH OF MLKING TURN RIGHT DOWN AN ALLEY BETWEEN A BLOCK OF OLD WAREHOUSES. FIND NUMBER 150 AND KNOCK ON THE HEAVY METAL DOOR.

...or the country way:

Keep on this road here until you get to the Jones' barn. Turn right on the dirt road, now don't mistake the gravel road for your turn, take the dirt road. Follow that road until you see the church steeple. Go past the cemetery and then turn left on to the two lane. Follow that right into town and you are there.

Throw in a heavy southern accent and you have it.

And then there's the Irish way:

'Could you please tell me how to get to Killrush?'

'Killrush, you say? Hmm. Let me think. Well ... first of all, if you want to get to Killrush, this is probably not the best place to be starting from.'

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Two questions, well one that's relevant.

First of all I'm writing my first story and I'm wondering how many word pages translate to lit pages

Second of all what's the best way to write conversations, for instance:

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed "hey man you need no milk" Mike frowned and got defensive "dude I just want some breakfast man" "Then have some eggs ya egg"

or

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed "hey man you need no milk"

Mike frowned and got defensive "dude I just want some breakfast man"

"Then have some eggs ya egg"

Thank you, love you all, love your work

First...Lit pages are by rule approx. 3700 words long. About...what?...11 word pages or so, depending on font size and margins.

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed, "Hey man you need no milk."

Mike frowned and got defensive, "Dude I just want some breakfast man."

"Then have some eggs ya egg."

...Or...

Oops there is no or, sorry. And never, ever forget punctuation.

And wouldn't the second sentence be

Jordan frowned...not Mike?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

And then there's the Irish way:

'Could you please tell me how to get to Killrush?'

'Killrush, you say? Hmm. Let me think. Well ... first of all, if you want to get to Killrush, this is probably not the best place to be starting from.'

Or the Italian one...

"Sorry, you can't get there from here."

 

[SamScribble]

How many word pages translate to lit pages.

It depends on the number of paragraphs (and the spaces in between). But work on 3,000 words per page and you won't be too far off.

Second of all what's the best way to write conversations, for instance:

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed "hey man you need no milk" Mike frowned and got defensive "dude I just want some breakfast man" "Then have some eggs ya egg"

or

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed "hey man you need no milk"

Mike frowned and got defensive "dude I just want some breakfast man"

"Then have some eggs ya egg"

Thank you, love you all, love your work

Put each character's speech on a separate line. And punctuate the dialogue.

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed. 'Hey, man, you need no milk?'

Mike frowned and got defensive. 'Dude, I just want some breakfast, man.'

'Then have some eggs, ya egg.'

Good luck.

 

[SamScribble]

Or the Italian one...

"Sorry, you can't get there from here."

Yeah. Giovanni told me that too.

 

[The_reluctant_wordsmith]

First...Lit pages are by rule approx. 3700 words long. About...what?...11 word pages or so, depending on font size and margins.

Mike looked at Jordan and laughed, "Hey man you need no milk."

Mike frowned and got defensive, "Dude I just want some breakfast man."

"Then have some eggs ya egg."

...Or...

Oops there is no or, sorry. And never, ever forget punctuation.

And wouldn't the second sentence be

Jordan frowned...not Mike?

Well spotted, I didn't actually notice that, though to be fair I did make that up on the spot so not a lot of time went into it, the actual story will undoubtedly be a lot more polished! Thank you very much, can't have a magnum opus without fine tuning the small details.

 

[Carnevil9]

I started a file to fill with solutions to particular writing problems I have. I did this after I fell over one such solution while reading a book by Robert Crais. My problem involved directions. I couldn't fathom how to write directions in a story. What I did seemed awkward and inelegant. Like...BOSCO TURNED INTO AN ALLEY. Crais writes, TWO BLOCKS SOUTH OF MLKING BOSCO TOOK A RIGHT DOWN AN ALLEY BETWEEN A BLOCK OF OLD WAREHOUSES.

Anderson asked Bonneville how to get to the Huffington Centre. Bonneville gave him explicit instructions. Anderson followed them to the letter. And there he was, twenty minutes later, staring up at the Huffington Center, his trigger finger itching for a fight.......

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Some of the posts here brought George V.Higgins to mind. Higgins published a shelf of books, and a few of them became movies with first-rate actors. Elmore Leonard called Higgins the best dialog writer ever. I agree. Higgins also published a HOW TO WRITE book. The title is, ON WRITING. Most of the lessons involve reading excellent writing by famous authors. He makes a few points for writers to assess their worth:

Real writers are published. Everyone else isn't.

Real writers start writing immediately after birth. Real writers cant postpone writing, they must write.

Writers block is simply fear of what others think of you. Real writers don't care what others think.

Few real writers earn English diplomas or know much about grammar, etc. Higgins was a Federal prosecutor.

Real writers don't need editors. Real writers know if their wares suck, and why.

The first book Higgins published spent 17 years awaiting its sale. He wrote 14 books before it. All were rejected many times.


http://havechanged.blogspot.com/2014/10/eddie-coyles-friend-george-v-higgins.html

 

[Messier82]

Anderson asked Bonneville how to get to the Huffington Centre. Bonneville gave him explicit instructions. Anderson followed them to the letter. And there he was, twenty minutes later, staring up at the Huffington Center, his trigger finger itching for a fight.......

An excellent point well made.

I couldn't care less about street names and such like when I'm reading a story, unless it's set in my home area and that is an extreme rarity. Lee Child frequently gives detailed directions for Washington DC or NYC, it's just filler for those of us who don't live there

BTW, are you an ELP fan as your username suggests?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Well spotted, I didn't actually notice that, though to be fair I did make that up on the spot so not a lot of time went into it, the actual story will undoubtedly be a lot more polished! Thank you very much, can't have a magnum opus without fine tuning the small details.

No problem, have fun. Welcome to the AH.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Jimmy has changed his user name again. Oh hum.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

https://kdp.amazon.com/help?topicId=A2EZES9JAJ6H02

Might be useful to you.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070725085137AAlzcdG

Finding erotica at your library.

 

[Carnevil9]

BTW, are you an ELP fan as your username suggests?

Not particularly. But that song was playing on the radio when I signed up, and it struck me as a catchy user name!

 

[49greg]

Well there are two ways...the city way, which is just a version of what James gave us:

GO TWO BLOCKS SOUTH OF MLKING TURN RIGHT DOWN AN ALLEY BETWEEN A BLOCK OF OLD WAREHOUSES. FIND NUMBER 150 AND KNOCK ON THE HEAVY METAL DOOR.

...or the country way:

Keep on this road here until you get to the Jones' barn. Turn right on the dirt road, now don't mistake the gravel road for your turn, take the dirt road. Follow that road until you see the church steeple. Go past the cemetery and then turn left on to the two lane. Follow that right into town and you are there.

Throw in a heavy southern accent and you have it.

When I lived out in rural Nebraska I heard and learned the country way. There they have an additional twist: They name the houses, "... take the dirt road, then go past the graveyard. Keep on until you're past the Hulteen place, that's the house with the long driveway and the hog barns right there by the house, take the second left at the Lundeen house, can't miss it because of those four Chief grain bins right by the road."

You've got to remember that no Hulteen has lived in that house for fifteen years, the old man died and his children sold the place and moved to Omaha, some other family lives there now. As for the Lundeens, well three generations ago there were no boys to take over the farm and their daughter married one of the MacNab boys who took it over, and that's the name that's been on the mail box since then.

 

[Messier82]

Not particularly. But that song was playing on the radio when I signed up, and it struck me as a catchy user name!

That's a heck of a radio station to play that track! The only time I ever heard that on the radio was back in the mid70's on Alan Freeman's Saturday Rock show, (BBC Radio 1 Not 'arf pop pickers! )

Now I'm wishing I'd called myself The Spirit of Radio (Rush, Canada's finest)

 

[Handley_Page]

That's a heck of a radio station to play that track! The only time I ever heard that on the radio was back in the mid70's on Alan Freeman's Saturday Rock show, (BBC Radio 1 Not 'arf pop pickers! )

Now I'm wishing I'd called myself The Spirit of Radio (Rush, Canada's finest)

First time I heard Fluff Freeman he played THIS

 

[Zeb_Carter]

When I lived out in rural Nebraska I heard and learned the country way. There they have an additional twist: They name the houses, "... take the dirt road, then go past the graveyard. Keep on until you're past the Hulteen place, that's the house with the long driveway and the hog barns right there by the house, take the second left at the Lundeen house, can't miss it because of those four Chief grain bins right by the road."

You've got to remember that no Hulteen has lived in that house for fifteen years, the old man died and his children sold the place and moved to Omaha, some other family lives there now. As for the Lundeens, well three generations ago there were no boys to take over the farm and their daughter married one of the MacNab boys who took it over, and that's the name that's been on the mail box since then.

Yep, but I was keeping it short for our readers here on the forum. But you got the gist of what I was doing and expanded on it, as I would have done if I was writing a story that needed the long country version.

Short City version: Two blocks up, two blocks left, one block up, number 150...(good luck.) <--- everywhere but New York.

 

[Handley_Page]

Round here it may depend upon whom you ask:

Regular Church-goer:
"Straight on to St Lukes, turn left and then right at St Michaels.
etc..

Regular boozer:
Turn left at the Dog & Ferret and keep going 'till you get to the Rising Sun. There's a delivery lane behind the pub which connects to the main drag to town. The Lion Rampant is 200 yards on the left.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

GOODBYE DARKNESS by William Manchester

Manchester was a celebrated reporter, historian, and biographer of Massachusetts.

His old man was a Marine, and Manchester joined the Marines after Pearl Harbor. He served in the Pacific until he was seriously wounded at Okinawa in 1945.

The book is an old man's slow shuffle through the past, in the present. He was 60 or so when he went back to the Pacific. Its written in a collage style where he's physically at Papua-New Guinea but thinking of Guadalcanal or the Philippines or wherever. Plenty of historic places no longer exist or theyre modern tourist traps. But all bring back memories or historical asides. But one thing is perfectly clear:

The bull shit and deceit starts at the White House and morphs into excuses on the way down to the Marine in the rain. Wars are won by tired, hungry, pissed off boys who get it done and wanna go home.

I've read this book 5-6 times since it came out, and its always a new experience.